Being a teenager is the toughest thing any of you will go through..well except for a divorce or death of a loved one.
Adults just do not remember how hard this time of life is for you.
They forget how important all of these things that you ask questions about are.
Parent do not have all the answers either..they just muddle through life..just like you.
I am as old as dirt..and still have some of the things that happen to you..happen to me.
E-mail: TallTracy88@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: place where bugs go to die
Occupation: Dino
Member Since: October 24, 2004
Answers: 324
Last Update: December 17, 2004
Visitors: 18652
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I just found out my daughter is going to be asked by her boy friend to marry him. But before he does, he wants to talk with me and ask my permission. I respect his wanting to ask my permission before he "pops the question"
He is ten years older than my daughter, [30] and I have met him once. He is not from our community and I do not know that much about him.
Here is my question, What questions should I be prepared to ask of him when we do have the "talk?"
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You know..the first thing going through my mind is one does he love her, is she happy with him and can he support her.
Everything else is between them. The age thing only matters later on in life..about babies and money and stuff like that.
To me..the fact that he want to talk to you first..shows that he really respects you and..well i think it is a huge plus. Let HIM talk..in the end it is UP to your daughter.
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Hi its Lissa...okay i well i got my progress report in the mail today and iim failing 3 classes and passing 3 (those aint that great either) and i told my mom and now shes all pissed like REALLY pissed she calls every 2 minutes n yells at me and she's like 'WHAT THE HELL!' n we have to go to my aunts funeral tomorrow at 11 am and now she's saying i can't go because of my grades, isn't that gay? shes my AUNT! and she's also like your not going into drivers ed and never getting a car EVER if u dont get all good grades and blah blah blah its really pissing me off i even started crying. im doing better now, i turn in most of my work im just not that smart and she expects me to be all smart and shit when im not...she keeps bugging me about it and im so annoyed...and thats just on the phone what the hell am i gonna do when she gets home from work!? she knows my 'situation' or she should cuz when school started i was really depressed and suicidal and everything was messed up, now im on anti depression medicine so im doing better and trying harder in school. my counselor even told me not to be so hard on myself i have a lot goin on and idk what to do about this...sorry this is long but ah..what do i do? thanks so much!!! (link)
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Mom is having a major meltdown for her sister or her siter in law has died. See adults never tell kids hey we are hurting...please ignore us for we are not rational right now. SO she just turns into monster mom and you see the pea soup and her head rotatiing around. She is not herself.
She should let you go to the funeral.That has nothing to do with your grades. But agin adults can be childish too
but I have to ask..why are you failing? Is something going on in your life that you need help with?
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15.f.california
ok see i want to move away from cali and to florida cuz my life here sucks, my mom doesnt care about me and she hurts me physicaly and emotionaly and i have been doing stuff i probly shouldnt have and if i go to florida to live with my aunt i feel this would be better and i would feel like comming sucide every minute or so. but i my mom says she would be happy to get rid of me but she thinks i am doing it cuz i want to get over a hard break up and she has this knew name for me which is coward and like i feel there is nothing for me here but my dog who i love so0o much. my dog has like been the only thing that has loved me ever since i got him. he is quite cute and small but he is the only reasion why i havent commited sucide or have gone to florida uhhh any ideas or advise anyone might want to share i am open to everything
thanks a bunch Lisa (link)
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woah..go see a counselor and tell her what you wrote here. That is is not bout a break up..but the fact that you ar miserable.
As for your mom she is a HUGE loser for telling you that No mother ever say that to a child reardless of what that child has done.
we love you no matter what..unconditonally...
grr your mom needs to go see someone.
Talk to the counselor..and get her to talk to your mom.
if you feel your life will improve with your Aunt..then do this.
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This is going to be long but if your willing to help plz do so.Oh I'm 14 a middle child i have a older brother 17 and a younger sister 12 the both hate me the constatly make me feel bad they alwayz argue with me they constatly tell me to shut up.and im the bad guy well according to them.my brother he is so mean he alwayz insoults me brings things up that happened a long time ago that can get me in deep trouble.He is alwayz tellign em things like im not good enough im a nobody that im stupid ad many other things that are even worst.My sister i can't tell her anything without her yelling at me back.She is only nice to me when my friends are around and when i feel bad she only cares when people are there or when im feeling real bad.I told my parents but they think this is nothing and that it will end soon.Well it has been like this for a while now and im feeling really bad to the point of wanting to hurt myself.And i've thought many times about suicide.i know thats the worst solution because it wont help and it only makes things worst but i have the simptoms of depression and i feel horrible about myself.I've already talked to this about a teacher and it helps a little.but i dunno what else i can do because i get worst every day that passes by.plz help (link)
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oh.amn..you are the middle child..sigh..you are just getting dumped on either end..i am sorry.
wow what is wrong with your siblings that they have to pick on you? what is really going on in your house that your parents are ignoring this?
There is a period in all siblings lives that they just plain hate each other..for they really hate thmselves...you all want to know the TOUGHEST time of your life..ever..it is now..being a teenager is the hardest. Do not let any adult tell you that their life is harder..nope..your is.
You know what..a HUGE wall of silence.. a thank you for telling me that.will make them steam..do it..ignore them..lol they want you to react so they can get mad.
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Okay i`ve lived here in *fL* for 15 years..i love it here and my dad has had over 20 jobs in the past 10 years. He wants to move somewhere else like southcarolia...or north carolina..that means i'd have to leave all my friends that have been there for me..my boyfriend that i have the best relationship with..and i also lose my scholorship AND my mom loses her retirement..all for a couple more dollars a month. Okay i am in my EARLY years of teenage years and he`s taking everything that a teenager reallllly needs away to a place where i don`t know ANYONE!...anyone have any suggestions to say to him? =( Plz help! (link)
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oh man..i lived in Florida for 10 years..left for Sc..just say no..tell your dad he WILL hate it here...oh man..hate it!!If he is not from the South..he will never be accepted like me..and unless he will get a really great job and live in a good school district..YOUR life will be hell too.
Seem to me your dad is a serial job seeker..been one so I can totally call it that. Does he get bored often? Sit him down and tell him what you told us..what it will do to everyone..not just him...the cost of living is less here..but the property taxes on the CAR..yes the car..THEY tell you what it is worth and the state tax..take away any money he may make.
Trust me..if sc is the place tell him..JUST say no!!
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what is the meaning of court summon and does one necessary need to attend? (link)
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yes...sorry but yes. If you received it..you have to go.
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Our 21 year old daughter had to move back home, because her roomate moved out to go to college. Our daughter couldn't afford rent on her own, so she moved in with us. She got a job working as a cocktail waitress in a real dumpy bar, now she has started dating a "regular" from the bar, and he is a 23 year old drug(meth)dealer. I have pleaded with her not to go out with this loser, to no avail. Question: Should we throw her out and risk her moving in with the boyfriend or try to put up with it, in hopes that she will see the light and dump him. She says she really likes him. As far as I know, she is not using meth, but does smoke pot. I am really scared. (link)
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ok..can you no remember being 21...for i do..and let me tell you I made THE worst decisions in my life..Oh i just cringe to think of the things I did.
if you confront you will alientate her.and then should someting bad happend..well you might not be in the loop when she needs to reach out.
If she is not disobeying the house rules then no..i would not kick her out. If she is affecting your lives by being there in a bad way you might ahve to put your foot down.
She will not leave him until he does something crappy to her or he leaves her.
Keep the lines of coomuication open...at least then you know about what is going on.
Am thinking of you.
Ps dated some really HUGE losers and did lots of..not really great things..i turned out ok. Your girl will too. Just love her.
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ok, i have a sister wh ohas these really digusting habits and i dont know how to make her stop. heres what she does:
1)picks at her nose(she dont eat it or anything, just picks at it..eew)
2)chews on her hair(and sometimes pulls it out and chews on it.i think one time she actually swallowed it.)
3)bites her fingernails(not just the nail, but the cuticle and skin around the nail..she'l just bite at it, rip it off, chew it and swallow it.its so wrong!!!)
4)picks at scabs so she can "taste the blood"(enough said )
Any ideas on how to make her stop??? (link)
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oh man..that is gross...if you tell her to stop being a sister that will just make her do it more. could you take a picture of her to show her how icky this is? Wait or perhaps a better hobby...
But it sounds to me something is going on in her head and your paresnt need to address this. Pulling hair and picking at scrabs is part of a mental things.she needs some help.
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my sister is a pain in the ass and i cant make it stop . she never listens to my mom or my dad and when ever you try to talk to her and she doesnt like what your sayin she likes to drown out the sound of people by repetin the word la over and over again . she calls me names like bitch and ass and other stuff like that . how do i make her stop being that way . oo yeah she also does bad stuff and blames it on me !!!!
thanx (link)
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oh man..all siters are a pain..lol I am sorry..that i not helpful..Whe must be super miserable to be doing what she is. What is going on wiht her..bad grades, no freinds..what. Ok and as for the anme calling stuff.that is just pthtic...tell her to use a dictionary to come up wiht a REAL word that might equal a truly awesome insult.
PS you parants need to reign her in BIG time. This will ONly get worse.
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well the title pretty much says it all. My friend, we'll call him Pig Vomit, has always been screwing me over during the two years that I've known him. He's hit on girls that he knows I like which ends up with me not getting a chance, he's made out with a girl that I was with when she was piss drunk and he'd had one beer.
BUT! This is it. He's actually trying to get with my sister. She's two years younger than us, he stole her MSN address from mine and now he's been talking to her nonstop, going on webcam, and he's absolutely serious. They've tried to keep it a secret that he's doin it, but my other friend Cam has told me and I've seen my sister quickly closing her conversation windows with him when I come upstairs.
What do i do? I'm seriously thinking about hurting him. I've already talked to him about it, Cam has talked to him about it, hell Cam has told him that I plan to beat him to a pulp if he doesn't stop. I don't know what else there is to do. (link)
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ok.first of all..WAY to go for sticking up for your sister. you are a true big brother and I am telling you...a HERO. Whether she likes him or not..you are protecting her. Plus anyone one wiht the name pig vomit must be disgusting.
NOw..is he really gross or are you just being a big brother..only you can decide.
only thing..your sis may not apprecaite it..but later on in life..she will!
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OK so i'm at a new school and like i made this one fried ... lets call her susan. So susan invited me over to her house for halloween with some of her friends too. I don't know for sure but i've heard her friends talking about doing drugs and all (not planning it for halloween but talking about it in like the past sence) I'm pretty sure Susan doesn't do drugs or anything but i do think that she drinks. I don't do any of that stuff, nor do I want to. Do you think I should go to her house and take the chance? PLEASE help me... i'll rate EVERYONE! (link)
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ok..depends.are you strong enough to resist peer pressure? If something happens at the party and your parents ask you if you did..will they believe you that you didnt? Is this friend who you are sure doesn not do druge. really worth hanging around people that do.
You have to decide yourself..what is really important here..teh freind or the possibility of a problem.
Again if you are a strong perosn who no one can amke do anything..then you will be ok.
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Ok, I'm a 10th grader who really has a life I like.There are a couple of things I don't like, and one of them is how much my friends worry about me. Last year, midyear, they started to freak out about me, and almost every day they'd ask what I did the night before. They were scared I was cutting, I wasn't. Now, this year, they are still after me about it, and some of them think I"m suicidal (no, I'm not depressed, though I sometimes act like it), and not only are my school friends thinking this way, so are my friends who dont' attend my school, and a bunch of my dance friends think this too! Is there any way I can convince them that I'm fine? It's making me crazy, and I've got enough to stress about right now.
thanks! (link)
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you know..they really care...about you. You should be glad to have such friends. They will child out..In the long run..your actions will show them that you are not cutting..see..see am CUT free. So put up wiht it for a bit longer..they will ease up.
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ok my best friend called my boyfriend gay the other day, i got really upset because i like him alot. so me and my best friend got into a little fight. now she's been acting different. Whenever i have a boyfriend she never gets along with them, they always endup fighting and soon it ends mine and my boyfriends relationship. what do I do? (link)
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woah..thinking she either totally has the hotss for him or is super jealous that you have a bf. Either way...But you may have to sit them both down and tell them you care for them both so if they CARE for you..they will have to grow ups and get along!
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Sorry it's so long, but I think I might to need to tell a teacher or somebody, can you help me?
A friend told me earlier today, she made me pinky swear that I wouldn't tell a guidence counciler or anything... well she told me she's cutting, or like that she wants to start.
Then by 3rd period... 3rd block, whatever you call it, she said she talked to a friend and said that she decided she doesn't want to cut... I don't think she started, just she talked about wanting to cut, and she said she was suicidal, because she couldn't stand living with her mom, her parents are divorced, and he mom won't let her live with her dad, and her mom won't go to court & let her choose what she wants to do.
Can she change her mind from being suicidal, to having talked to somebody that fast, or should I tell one of my teachers... I have a teacher that I know I can tell anything to. What she made me promise is not to tell anyone, like from guidence or anything.
So what I'm asking is
1.)Is she really over it?
2.)Would I be breaking the promise (I don't care if I am or not, I just want to know if I'm breaking it. if I tell the teacher I mean.)
3.)And Should I tell the teacher?
(she told me around 7am, then around 12ish she told me she talked to a friend and won't cut, and doesn't think she's suicidal. She seemed happy when she told me.)
Thanks for all the help in advance, I appreciate all answers, even if they're rude. (link)
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ok..yes yes please my sister tried to kill herself many times..we ALWAYS took it seriously. But here is the fine line..sometimes all they want is someone to listen to them.Actully..they want THEIR parsnt to listen to them.You are doing this and you are a great friend.
Who helped YOu when you had your problem? That is the person I would confide in.
Divorce is so crappy on kids..no one wins..and the people who really needs to win are you guys.
ask her if she could get a advocate for her to speak to the judge. If her Mom has custody it is realy hard to undo it especialy if thre are no reasons for the custody being cahnged.
be there for her..you have been through this..do what YOUR heart feels ok.
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okay, last year [my sophomore yr now im a junior], i had A TON of friends in each one of my classes..and i got to be REALLY close with them.like in each class i would have like 1-2 really really close friends who i didnt really hang out with at school outside of that class but in that class we always would talk and sometimes we would hang out on weekands...they would always tell me their boy/fam problems, and i would ALWAYS be there for them and give them adivce..i would even call them after school alot to make sure they were okay.....this year i dont have classes with alota the girls and its like they dont even care about me? theyll walk past me in the hall and smile and say hi but nothing big at all..theyre so unappreciative.. i mean i helped them on sum pretty serious issues they had...i feel so unappreciated and i feel like everything i ever did for them last year was a waiste even though it really helped them...how should i handle this? (link)
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Can you call up one of them that you are the closest too? Ask her why you are not being invited to stuff. Could be that since they all se each other all the time..they just make plans during that class.
Tell them that you miss them and still want to hang out with them.
If they call..great if not...well god news you have a bunch of new classes wiht new people to hook up with.
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Lately I've been feeling out of the loop. Like, my best friend, she says some really obnoxious things to me sometimes, and they make me feel bad. And I was going to go out with a couple friends, but i guess it didn't work out, and I heard that one of them is still going. It makes me feel better. Me and my best friend hang out a lot but I always feel like my other friends [ mostly guy friends ] like her more. Not to be egotistical, but sometimes I wonder why people don't like me. I mean, I know my bad side, but I'm a lot nicer that a lot of my friends. I've been feeling really empty lately. I don't know what to do to perk myself up and I want to know how to change, for the better, to make myself happier. Also, tomorrow is my friends birthday and I have this gift for him, but lately he's just kind of been ignoring me. he's the one that still going out tomorrow. I'm kinda of mad at him, but he probably doesn't know why. Should I still give hime the gift? (link)
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Have you ever noticed there is that one person that everyone likes. I mean for some reason they just have it. And you could be the most awesome friend..but everyone wants to hang out with them.
Am I helping no..as this is situation that will always be.
Your friend is going tomorrow..ask him what he has been distant...even he avoids your eyes ...something happened. But if he seems kind of shocked get him to open up..could be he is going through a lot of stuff.
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okay well today in sports studyhall i was sittin down next to this kid lets call him *CHRIS* well CHRIS and I were talkin n then he was lookin at my cellphone n i have verizon so u can change wut u want it to say n mine use to say lets call me *ASHLEY* and so it use to say ASHLEY loves you and then CHRIS changed it to say ASHLEY IS HOTT and i was lke um k then i had to go get someone from a teachers room and then i came bak n CHRIS goes i put my number in ur phone book i was like umm ok..but the problem is i dont like him and hes been going out w. a friend of mine and she happens to be on my soccer team too and they have been goin out for like a year..so my question is y wud he do that?
i rate all 5's tnxs (link)
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you know he sounds like he is desperate for attention..yuck no offense but if a friend of mine's bf hits on me..or even flirts I am totally turned off. Would I want that to happend with my Bf. That is so not cool. Yuck...but mums the word to your friend..she will think you LIKE him..good luck!
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I've had a big crush on this one guy for a few weeks now. I've gotten to know him, and all of my friends that are in the "gossip network" found out that the guy that I like a lot (let's call him Adam) likes me and asked me out to the dance. So I say yes, and I'm happy for the next few days (and still am happy). So I send along with a note my number and my email. He sends me his. So now my friends in the "gossip network" told me that we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. My best friend *AMY* likes ADAM, is ADAM's friend, and is REALLY mad at me because ADAM asked me to the dance and not her. She keeps calling me a backstabber and a piece of garbage. She's still my friend, but I don't know how she could get all mad at me if HE asked ME out and not her. It's not my fault. How can we get to be friends again? (link)
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oh no..the jealous friend...girl...a real friend would not be mad that someone she likes..likes you..would she be hurt and not want to do thing with you two..yeah...but not mad. No friend...no REAL freind will call you names behind your back.Period..I would say bye bye to this person...as long as you date Adam..she will be a snake.
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ok lets start at the beginning! my friend's sister's ex boyfriend is staying in her house until he finds a place/job whatever. so the sister doesnt stay there shes in college and last night he got really drunk and my friend was the only one in the house.. he came in her room and he fingered her. she doesnt know what to do someone give me advice to give her!! thank you!! (link)
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omg..that is assault...woah..ok..he is what how old??and yor friend is how old..can you say assault on a minor. wow..you have got to tell an adult..and yor sister..she has got to get that RAPIST out of the house..now..wow...this is serious...you need a professional to help you with this.
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my best freind Tina and i have been best freinds sicne we were 4 and we're so close! well she and i became freinds w/ this girl kaylinn and at first her and tina were really close but a couple months later they got into a huge fight and hate eachother...now im caught in the middle...i would pick my bestfrind over kaylinn cuz i've known tina for ever but im not gunna just drop kaylinn. i dont want enemies! anyway i really dont kno what to do so if theres any tips feel free to say them (link)
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you know what..this situation will happen all through your life...even as adults women are just plain stupid when it comes to this stuff.
So you have to sit them both down and tell them that you are going to be friends with both of them They will either acccept it or not..but in the end..it is their decison.
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