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trouble with daughter
Our 21 year old daughter had to move back home, because her roomate moved out to go to college. Our daughter couldn't afford rent on her own, so she moved in with us. She got a job working as a cocktail waitress in a real dumpy bar, now she has started dating a "regular" from the bar, and he is a 23 year old drug(meth)dealer. I have pleaded with her not to go out with this loser, to no avail. Question: Should we throw her out and risk her moving in with the boyfriend or try to put up with it, in hopes that she will see the light and dump him. She says she really likes him. As far as I know, she is not using meth, but does smoke pot. I am really scared.
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ok..can you no remember being 21...for i do..and let me tell you I made THE worst decisions in my life..Oh i just cringe to think of the things I did.
if you confront you will alientate her.and then should someting bad happend..well you might not be in the loop when she needs to reach out.
If she is not disobeying the house rules then no..i would not kick her out. If she is affecting your lives by being there in a bad way you might ahve to put your foot down.
She will not leave him until he does something crappy to her or he leaves her.
Keep the lines of coomuication open...at least then you know about what is going on.
Am thinking of you.
Ps dated some really HUGE losers and did lots of..not really great things..i turned out ok. Your girl will too. Just love her.
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Well speaking out as a kid or "young adult" or whatever, I wouldn't throw her out. If my mom ever did that to me I would never talk to her again. My brother was dating some chick from hell and my mom told him that she wasn't aloud to come over anymore and it pissed him off and she moved in with her and my brother and my mom just barely talk anymore. It's your choice. I wouldn't though because you could loose everything you have with your daughter right now.
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Try to keep her safe with you, if she decides to go on her own time, allow her, she is a 21 year old woman now, her choices are her own. Let her know what you think about her choices, but don't try to control her or fight with her. Just offer advice and guidance. Be a friend to her more than anything, because you guys already had your mother/daughter troubled teen years together, don't make a repeat of it. Trust her judgement. If you try to be that mom punishing the 16 year old again, she is going to push away in revenge, you don't want that. Just be there for her. Don't push for arguments or anything. Good luck!
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Well this happened with my parents with my brother but in a different situation.I think you should let her stay with you and talk to her and stuff and maybe something will happen.But don't kick her out of the house cause you don't want to risk her from moving in with her boyfriend.
I hope i helped
-Amanda Marie
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Yikes. The more you push her to dump him, the worse it is going to get. Can you talk to any of her friends that would talk some sense into her? Maybe she would at least get the message if everyone including mom and dad were singing the same tune "He's dangerous. He's going nowhere, and he about to suck you down so low that you won't have a chance at a decent life anymore." Is there someone else who is an adult that she treasures there advice? That would probably be the best person to get on your side.
I wouldn't actually throw her out unless she is bringing the drugs into your house. Mainly, because going with him is probably the only other choice she thinks she has. You could try getting her another roommate or another apartment.
From her side of the fence, she isn't seeing clearly. There is something about him that makes her blind. I have recently gotten out from under a relationship that included a overbearing individual who I didn't realize was controlling my every free minute. You just don't realize what you have traded in until you are away from that situation.
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