Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30938
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19/f...boyfriend is gonna be 20. throwing a party for him. He's inviting a couple friends from work (like 5, all guys) he asked me to invite girls. because he said "most guys want to get drunk and meet/have sex with girls at parties" 1.this makes me not want to have the party. and 2. this makes me unsure of who to invite. I told him to tell the guys to bring girls. No strippers etc. But he tells me that I need to invite my friends otherwise his friends wont be satisfied.. I don't know what to do. Help me out? (link)
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You need to break up with your boyfriend because he's a scumbag. Yeah, guys go to parties to get drunk and get laid. That has been true since time immemorial. That doesn't mean, though, that you have to tolerate it in your personal life.
Have some standards and remember that you are the only one who can live your life. So take control of it and if you have to punt the boyfriend, do it. And then find a guy who has more respect for both himself and you. They're out there. If this one guy wanted you, you can bet that there are ten more who are standing in line waiting for you to kick him to the curb so that they can have a shot. So no need to put all your eggs in the current basket, so to speak.
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Im 13 and i have been dating this guy for 3 months now and he says that he wants to have sex. I told him that i do want to but i am just scared that it will hurt or i wont be any good. He said that he will never try to hurt me but it wll hurt for my first time. He said that he will wear a condom and not try to go too fast or hard. But condoms dont always work and so the thing that i want to know is that should i have sex with him? And what if the condom breaks i really do not need baby at 13 i already get picked on enough right now! I just dont want it to break and i feel like if i dont have sex with him he will leave me and i DO NOT want him to leave me!
What do you think I should do? I hope you can help me out as much as possible! thnx i appreciate it (link)
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Well, let's look at some facts here:
1. In your post, it is evident you are not ready for sex.
2. Only you can live your life. Therefore, the needs and desires of others are irrelevant. You must follow your own agenda for making your life successful because as soon as the crap hits the fan the people who you thought were your friends will scatter like cockroaches when the kitchen light gets turned on.
3. He is 13, which means he is still emotionally immature and therefore having your first time with him will not be emotionally satisfying for you.
4. He is a boy. He wants to put points on the board with his buddies and demonstrate what a stud he is. So if you do it with him, the next day it will be all over your neighborhood and school that you guys did the nasty because he will tell everyone he had sex with you. That is how guys operate.
5. The chances that this relationship at such a young age will last any real length of time is about the same as winning the lottery. Your brain will keep developing until about age 25, which means that 5-10 years down the road you are going to feel completely different about things than you do now. So relax, tell the guy to slow his roll or take a hike because even though you are emotionally wrapped up in it now he is incapable of sustaining things emotionally for you at that age. Therefore, you will not lose very much by hitting the eject button on him if his demands become more than YOU WANT to handle.
6. Reread number two and take control of your life. Don't ever allow anyone to tell you how to lead it. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up to be sabotaged.
So relax, take the long view, try to be the adult here and say no when the adult thing is to indeed say no.
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I have a major crush on my teacher. I am 13 and i'm a female. He is probably in his late 20's. I think about him all day. Write his initials on my hand, walk by his room and stare at him through the window, take pictures of him without him noticing, and talk to him all the time at school. My friend even wrote him a note saying I love you mr. ______for me but didn't write my name. I need him to know how i feel, and i was thinking about telling him the last day of school. he's hilarious and nice. i want to get to know him more. what should i do? and i know i should get over him but i can't. he's on my mind 24/7. its causing my problems in my relationships with my friends because i talk about him so much. please help, i'm stressed. (link)
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The warnings about the criminal code aside, what need do you have is he satisfying? Is your dad absent in your life and you're looking for a substitute father figure? Is that it?
In any event, this obsession is not healthy. I would ordinarily say get counseling about this, but if you do it at school the administrators would probably freak out given the panic over pedophilia these days. Talk to your mom about it and see what she says. Female student infatuations with teachers is common, but ultimately futile (well, they should be). You aren't getting anywhere with the guy, so give it a rest. You are just wasting your time and making yourself look silly.
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I am a sophomore in High School. I've liked this guy who is a junior. I'ved liked him for almost 4 years now. He knows i like him, but he doesn't seem to care. I see him in the hall, and he sees me. We only stare nothing else. I'ved tried talking to him on Facebook and he doesn't even and he doesn't answer me. I've had self esteem issues because of him, and i've gone to my school counselor. She says i should try and avoid him, but i can't. He's in my luch and he's everywhere. He's very popular. I can't get over him no matter what i do. And no matter what my friends say, or how many times they yell at me i'm still never gonna get over him. I've tried liking other people, but he's always still in the back of my mind. I mean he still looks at me, so what does that mean? he looks, but doesn't say a word. I DON'T wanna get over him. And he doesn't know how i feel, and i don't think he will ever understand how much i wanna get to know him and be with him. I feel like he's too good for me, and i'm just nothing to him. He's at the top, and i feel like i'm at the bottom. I don't get this kid, he's so confusing. No one understand how much i like this kid, honestly. People judge me for liking him, but i can't get over him no matter what i do. I think about him constantly. And i've always wanted to talk to him, or wear his football jersey, but i'm afraid and scared to talk to him. The last thing i want is to be turned down by him. I need advice, please :) (link)
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You've already given him plenty of openings to get with you. He obviously isn't interested, so it's time to move on. You don't like losing him to other women because women are all in competition with each other and there may also be a part of you that wants to elevate your profile at school by being with him. It's almost like a groupie type of thing. Your obsession with him isn't constructive and you are wasting a lot of emotional space on him, which has to be stressful for you.
So write him off and seek other guys. You should only define yourself according to yourself and not try to be somebody else. You can only be you and thus not liking yourself is a complete waste of time. Create your own party and be open to letting whoever wants to get on board with you do so. That is all you can do.
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what are some things boys like being called? (link)
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I like being called by my name. "Babe" or "sweety" is okay, too, but I hate "honey," and "dear" and "darling" makes me cringe.
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I'm not entirely sure where to begin. I'm a guy and I'm bisexual. There's a good start. I knew I was, well probably forever. Just the whole facing-reality part was taking a while. I'm now sure of how I feel and who I am. My question is how do I tell my family? My Mother is semi-understanding. She works at a college with many gay people. She accepts them, but still makes remarks and doesn't like to see them touching, kissing, etc. My oldest brother is very against gays. He thinks Lesbians are "okay". He's basically a tool. :) He would probably take the longest to be okay. My middle brother, I believe, would be pretty accepting. He's usually an a-hole, but he seems the most likely to be okay. It doesn't make sense I know, but it does if you were me. As soon as I tell them, I think I would come out to my friends, and then my highschool and then my extended family. I have told a few friends and they were completely accepting and it's a great start. But my family, well idk. Could anyone give advice or maybe tell me how their coming out went? Please and thank you! (link)
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I think you should wait a little longer. I'm not sure your mom is totally on board yet. I have gay and transgendered people in my own extended family and nobody treats them any different because of it, but my side of the family is rather liberal, too.
What would be interesting is that you could tell your family members that you met a new friend that is gay at school and see how they react to it. If the reception isn't too hostile then you could break it to them. Look at the following site. It may help:
http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/index.php
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So I am a girl 18,
I am out of school and just sit around nowadays, well you see when I turned 15 I dated this guy T for a year I broke up with him on my 16th birthday and a few days after started dating my best friend S well, S and I dated for a year as well, I stayed single after he dumped me for a long time, hoping he'd get back with me, I realized I was an idiot haha, well after about 5 months of being single I met this guy M he was great, he was my dream guy, well I stayed single for about 2 more months until I was certain I wanted to date M, well M and I dated for about 3 months basically he had sex with me and dumped me the same day I found out he had been cheating, you know, your basic brand of Jerk. Well I've been single for two month now, and I realized the majority of my teenaged life I have been in relationships. After S and I broke up I started whoring around and didn't care much for relationships.
I knew M and I wouldn't get married or anything, but that brief amount of time I had with him reminded me how great relationships are. I know I am only 18, but, being alone sucks, I love being independent and doing things on my own, I am a strong girl, but sometimes I lay there at night all alone and wish that I had someone to cuddle up with. I'll go to my friends house and she lives with her boyfriend, these two are what you could call my only close friends. I love them but I feel alone a lot of the time when we go out, because well they are together and I am just there. I feel like I need to find someone to fill this void. I have tried other things, I paint all the time, I ref soccer, I rearrange my furniture and decor about 2 times a week. I go to the gym a lot and spend about 1/2 my day on youtube. I feel like my life is going nowhere. I do nothing, I have no car and my paychecks are really small. I really want to find someone, not a husband or potential husband, pffffft, I am too young! But I want to find a guy who will be a special friend, I don't want anything serious, but a guy to cuddle and kiss and talk to and do things with, but I look at the guys I know and most of them aren't my type or i have already given a go and didn't like. I am completely blind as to how to meet new people and I am very picky. I am just so tired of this feeling in my stomach, right now my only cuddle buddy is my stuffed rabbit. I feel like such a loser, so I guess my question is, how do I get rid of this feeling of being alone? I have tried taking up hobbies and joining social activities, but nothing gets rid of it.
I also want to know how to meet new people, I meet cute guys but I never feel like I am good enough, I know I am not ugly, but I don't feel gorgeous, I am tall about five foot eight and skinny, caucasian, green eyes, black hair. I look at guys but I can never talk to them unless they talk to me first, I mean, I'll see a guy while I am grocery shopping and give him some flirty eyes, but I can't go up and talk to them. :/ I don't know what to do, I am tired of being alone and feeling empty, what do I do? Any advice is greatly appreciated (: thanks!! (link)
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It's pretty wonderful to have someone to cuddle with and kiss with, that's for sure. But being alone is okay, too. You're doing some of the right things in having a job, going to the gym and refereeing soccer. Someone will surely take an interest in you. You just need to be patient.
The thing about being 18 is that after graduating high school everybody pretty much scatters to the four winds, which can make for feelings of isolation. I would seriously encourage you to look at community college, even if you're just going to take a couple of classes to get your feet wet. It would further expand your social circle, too, and you wouldn't feel like you're totally dying on the vine.
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okay so i've been talking to this guy Javier for a while and it seemed like at first he was gonna ask me out and be happily ever after.
Recently though he had told me he lost interest and liked someone else and he still wanted to be friends.
a week after this we were texting (as friends would do)we he all of a sudden told me that when he saw me in school today, he wanted to kiss me. i told him that "stuff happens to make us feel thatt way" and then he went on to asking if i would have let him.
Me being honest i said probally but i would have been confused. He then mentioned that he missed the close intamacy that we had when we were talking-- even though it wasnt sexual.
ive already asked him to make up jis mind on what he want since i really don't feel like wasting my time for nothing, why fight for something you cant win?
i haven't had sex with him. i tld him i wouldnt unless we dated. i havent done anything sexual with him at all, no oral, no foreplay, a peck on the cheek, and a kiss on the neck, and a makeout session here and there but nothing too serious.
Should i just give up? or should i just be upfront about it?
16/f/junior in high school
17/m/senior in high school (link)
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Only you can really answer this question. Step back and disengage your emotions from the question. Does he really have the qualities you want in a boyfriend and will he be steadfast in his support of you or is he just looking for the next convenient soft body to get with?
Both of you still have about ten years of growing up to do and need to think more about exploring life rather than getting tied down in relationships. So that he sounds confused and that confuses you isn't a surprise. Girls, though, mature faster than guys and he sounds like he really isn't as rock solid as you need in your life.
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Hello, I am a 19-year-old girl, and for the past year I have been in a long-distance online relationship with a 50-year-old man. I did meet him in person, but have not seen him for two years, before we got together. I know it sounds weird, but we have made it work. He loves me very much and wants to marry me and have a baby with me. In fact, he's kind of intense about our relationship, and I'm not completely comfortable with the idea of graduating college and having a baby right away. Lately I've been thinking about what it would be like to date someone my own age, who I could actually see in person, and to not feel pressured to have kids right away. While I love my boyfriend, he doesn't give me butterflies anymore. But I don't want to hurt him. He's been with so many women who treated him crappy. If I left him, it would break his heart, and knowing that would break mine. He's told me he would probably give up on love entirely if I left him. What on earth do I do here? :( (link)
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You are too young to be tied down. Those pangs you are feeling is that voice in the back of your head that says, "hey, I need to explore more of life before I decide who I want to spend the rest of my days with."
Look, it is your life. You get to do it once and nobody else can live your life for you. So it is really incumbent on you to ensure that you listen to your better instincts. His life is his life and you don't owe him anything. I'm sure you've learned something from your relationship with him, but you are still rather young in the learning process. Your brain won't finish developing until age 25 and so your sensibilities are going to evolve radically between now and then. So you need to end the relationship with the guy and get on with your own life.
Look, I'm in my 50's, too. Guys who are my age should be a lot more emotionally settled than this guy sounds. I am getting kind of a weird vibe about your relationship and I STRONGLY urge you to end it because you know well in your heart you and he don't want the same things at this juncture.
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I'm 15f I can't stop crying. I don't feel like me I'm a sophomore and I feel like noone truly likes me. I've tried changing and I don't know who I am. I want people to like me but I just feel like I don't belong where I am. I feel selfish for crying and feeling like this crap. But I can't help it. It's sophomore year everyone is in there cliques and I feel like an outsider I lost most of my friends mainly because of separation of classes and they eventually found new people. I think I pushed away people.. I don't know. I just want change in my life I think that I need a boyfriend to make me happy but you guys allways say you don't but wouldn't a friend make me happy. I try to be myself but noone likes me I do have friends just not close ones that idk I feel alone. Please help I feel depressed and I cry everyday (link)
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LiSaxOBaBii has it about right. You're only 15 and still figuring out who you are. Different people do that at different ages and some students mature in certain areas faster than others. Unfortunately, you're at an age at which all I can urge you to do is be patient, relax, like yourself because you are indeed a good person and be in control of your life so that you deal with it on your terms and not anyone else's.
Loneliness can be a weird thing. It depresses a lot of people but it can also make one rather independent. Ultimately, we are all alone because every person is a unique individual. So the only thing we can do is try to learn as much as we can about how life, the world and the universe works and try to do the best we can in that environment. Being part of the herd does require a kind of set of blinders. Sometimes when you are an outsider you're less blind than the general herd because you are able to observe the craziness from a distance and aren't directly caught up in it.
And btw, it gets hella better in college. Relax. You'll be okay.
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Ok im15f and I'm not super or real good at anything. I'm just average in school I get a's and b's and sometimes the occasional c but not only in school in sports I'm ok at them but I'm not good enough to get played which lowers my confidence I feel like a fail. I have no true hobby I'm not creative with my hands in my mind I am but there's no way I can express it cause I suck at writing also I can't speak infront of people like I get way to nervous so things aren't for me. I wanna do something in my life than just be a dud with barely any friends (link)
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I parties my way through high school, graduated with a little above a C average and then buckled down in college and graduated with honors. So your future is NOT dim.
You're only 15. You still have plenty of time. High school, in the grand scheme of things, doesn't really count for much. So my advice is that you explore different fields and something will draw your interest. Go to junior college and you can take a lot of different courses before deciding on a major.
As for your writing. very few people write well. Take an advanced composition class at your school and if you work at it that will cure your perceived inability to convey your thoughts logically.
The fear of speaking in front of people is very common. Hell, there are rock stars who puke up before they go on stage they have such bad nerves. I personally don't have that problem, though. Preparedness promotes confidence plus I've always been rather articulate.
So what you need to do is relax, keep your eyes open for opportunities and interesting things and don't overthink. You are going to grow up so much between now and when you graduate from high school it isn't funny. It would help if you read a lot. Sometimes things in books can light a spark plus it's just good for your mental development.
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can a girl become pregnant if a single sperm is gone in her mouth?
(link)
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In her mouth? No. And you got a lot more than one sperm. You mean one shot of semen? That would be millions of sperm. But your saliva killed them all anyway.
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17/f
I'm in a very demanding school environment where everyone strives to achieve the minimum 2100. I'm not aiming for ivy league, but I'd like to think that a high SAT score is an essential factor to college acceptance. I've never had any prep, and I'm pretty confident that my mathematic skills are significantly lacking when it comes to the SAT.
I was considering requesting to take extensive test prep summer (programs like Elite, etc.); however, that conflicts with my summer plans for fulfilling my community service requirements and other credentials. I know it would be a commitment of five hours per day, along with the allotted test taking time excluded from the actual courses and extra time spent outside the class studying. I don't feel as though I could accomplish that and all my community service plans. I'm not even sure my parents could afford to pay for it.
I just don't know what I'm supposed to do from here? Should I spend the entirety of my free time (weekends, breaks, summer) studying for the SAT score or dedicate my time to a plethora of community service projects to list on my applications?
Advice would be greatly appreciated. (link)
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The SAT is a scam and is not a predictor of college performance. I never took it and graduated with honors And why are you wasting your time with all that community service horsecrap? Go to a state school like I did, where I got a perfectly fine education, and then get on with life. Do not go into debt to go to school because it is NOT worth it unless you're going to be an MD or something. Then once you graduate, go live overseas for a while. That is a valuable education in itself.
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my womans daughter age 39 has caused me troble even with the law. i can contact her again legally in 3 days but i won't. some and most of the trouble is her drunkness and sexualness. i am weak and lust for her as well. however i think the lady wants me for keeps and takes extreme measures to get me. i think the lady wants me as a partner and willing to take me from her mom. she has failed in 13 years. i am 57 myself and our life styles are totally apart. i have a gut feeling i will hear from her. love to have sex with her but i want no trouble. advice any1 ? (link)
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Dude, you're actually older than me (I was born in the 1950's, too) and you can't say no to her? What, does the 39 year old have custody of your balls? Come on, you know this is really, really bad news. Step up and do what a man's gotta do.
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I been with my boyfriend 4 months but before him I dated girls only I feel very confuse because I still like girls and i miss my gay life I love him but I'm not in love with him. (link)
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Your "boyfriend" is just a guy you "like a lot." You are a lesbian. He is like a "super friend" to you and that's it. Break it off as boyfriend-girlfriend. By the way, the confusion you feel at your age is totally NORMAL. You aren't a bad actor here. You're exploring being with a guy. That's fine. But it doesn't look like it's going to work.
The following site might help you more in this matter:
http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/index.php
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My friends little sister is 15 i look at her as my sister, she is obseced about this 20 year old guy. He thinks shes cute and all but doesnt want anything with a 15 year old. For the past few weeks me and this guy have been talking and hanging out, we both like eachother. Niether of us want to hurt her, but she wont leave him alone it effects us on moving in to a relationship. I have thought about trying to interduce he to other guys, is that a good idea? what do I do if it doesnt work? All I want is to date the guy without all the drama. (link)
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He's 20 freaking years old. He needs to man up and tell the 15 year old she is too young! If he can't do this simple thing then you need to question whether he has enough guts to be a good man for you.
Besides, a jail cell and sex offender registration awaits if he doesn't tell her to get lost and then gives in to temptation. Tell him to blame it on your state's penal code if he just has to be a pussy about it.
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im in LOVE with my ex but hes always angry and hes as out of control as it gets. i waznt dat great of a person myself its wasnt all r fault tho we live in a very bad area and have pretty messed up lives but over the last couple of years ive become more mature and hes just become worst. the more im away from him the more better of a person i become and from what ive heard he just gets worst and im still extremely lonely and i know hes the only 1 dat can fix dat. mybe if we lived in a better world without abuse, drugs, and babies we could b happy 2gether again. till then what do i do? can i really keep living without my soulmate? (link)
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Your ex is a loser. The problem with living in a war zone, so to speak, as you do, is that it creates a fox hole mentality even among dysfunctional people. You guys have been through a lot together and you miss that sense of comradery that made you feel so close. But it would be a self destructive move for you to get close to that flame again.
So the natural fact is that you need to make plans as to how you're going to extricate yourself out of the hell you're living in. This means you need to set yourself up for college. If a homeless black guy living on L.A.'s Skid Row can turn his life around and eventually get his Phd from USC you can do it, too. Seriously think about it.
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Okay so first of all, some of you are going to think that I'm a b**** for saying this forgive me. I'm 20 years old and my sister is 26, most people say that at age 26 your brain is fully developed. I really feel like her brain is still under-developed because my sister tends to go for losers, and I'm really worried about her relationship with this one man.
He's 32 years old, I feel like at this point in his life if he was working towards his full potential in life he would have a bachelors degree and maybe even a masters, or a certificate in some kind of a trade. Instead he's been unemployed for a long time, living at his parents, and basically living off of them for over a year now. I understand that the economy is bad but if you're that serious about wanting to marry your girlfriend like he is telling her, you go to every employment agency and get work and then you save your money until you can find an actual job. I don't even believe that the man is really looking for a job, however my sister is too naive to see this.
I say this because I see a trait of laziness in him. I can basically judge this by saying that he dropped out of high school at 15. That might have been fine 40, 50 years before he dropped out of high school but you're not doing much with your degree now. He did get his GED and he has a 3.9, but the fact that he didn't fully graduate high school for stupid reason. I apologize to those of you who maybe out of high school for honest reasons, he dropped out because he didn't like going to school and he could cut. I think once you're lazy, you're always lazy... it's a character trait.
My sister in all other aspects, other than her selfishness I'm pretty proud of. The only thing that I'm ashamed is her boyfriend, the high school drop out, the man who I don't see getting anywhere in life. For a 26 year old woman who didn't finish college she has an amazing job, she's making $15.00/hour working as a customer service supervisor, a job that she quickly moved up towards after only a year of working at her company. She only has two years left of college and will be going back to school soon, and she wants to be a college professor.
Her downfall has always been men, I have no idea what it is with her. I think it may be because she saw my dad cheat on my mom numerous times, she read his emails to his ex girlfriend (that he had when he was married to my mom) and my parents are still married. All of her boyfriends in some way or another have been losers.
Her boyfriend Mike who she started dating at 16, who broke up with her after almost 3 years of dating when she was 18 going on 19 had dyslexia, and used it as a crutch, he also couldn't hold down a job. Then she dated a guy named Jeff who was a 36 year old truck driver accused of child molestation, after he apparently "gave the police photos of nude minors" in order to get it taken off the web, they dated for 8 months from the time she was 19 to 20... until he started talking about marriage. After Jeff was Tom who owned a construction company with his father, she dated him for 4 or 5 months, he was fine in all other aspects other than he was bi-polar, stopped taking his medication and went crazy for a little while. After Tom was Paul a construction worker, whose idea of going on a date was sitting in his car for hours and not taking her anywhere... they were off and on again for two years.
Jason is probably the worst though, he's a high school drop out, he's 32 and I don't see where his future is going to be... when I ask her that she won't even answer me. In her eyes she loves him and he's perfect for her, I don't see this. I think that someone who wants to be successful should date someone who has some what of a plan.
I bring this up to her all the time, because I'm really worried about this situation. It just turns into a fight, what it comes down to and I have plenty of evidence to show this she's choosing him over all of her family. She won't even go to our cousin's baby shower this month because she doesn't know when she's going to get to see Jason again. This is my cousin's first baby, and I really do believe that she should be... it really aggravates me that she's not going to be there, and what it comes down to is that all that she cares about are the future of Selene and Jason.
My sister says that my boyfriend is a loser, however he's really. He's 22 years old, already his associates, and is going to school for accounting... he's very smart and he is on the path to having a very successful future. He's already successful because he was the first one in his family ever to obtain a college degree. He's already accomplished A LOT, and I'm sure that he's going to accomplish even more in his future.
I would love for her to be a 30-something year old man whose going to take good care of her, who has a college education, has the credentials to get a good job one day. From what I know Jason doesn't really have any of those things.
This is turning into a rant, but what's the best way for her to see reality and have her date better guys? I'm really worried about who her future husband is going to be, and what of debt he's going to put her in in the future.
I know that this is really none of my business, but honestly I'm concerned. (link)
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Women often repeat what went on with their parents in their own private lives and that appears to be what happened with your sister. Your sister needs a therapist or at least counseling. However, as others have said, she is an adult and there isn't a whole hell of a lot you can do about it except keep these losers at arms length so that you don't get dragged down into the whirlpool of loserdom.
You've essentially attempted to fill the parental vacuum in your family and there is good and bad about that. It definitely puts a lot of stress on you.
At this point, the best you can do from a realistic perspective, is to separate yourself from the circus. My brother, for example, married two psycho bitches, but none of the family attempted to intervene. One of those women is now dead (complications from heroin and meth abuse) and the other he has been separated from for years and years and she almost died when her latest boyfriend nearly beat her to death. So I have a little bit of an understanding what you're dealing with.
Be available for when your sister wants to talk about her relationship, but otherwise focus on making your own life the best you can. If she starts complaining about him, ask her, don't tell her, if she would consider counseling or therapy. I also hope that you wait a few years before you get married so that you can see just how your own boyfriend is going to pan out before you begin having kids.I hope everything works out for you guys in the end, but please, please please take care of number one (yourself) first.
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17/f
So I have this new boyfriend and things are great.
I was talking to my guy friend who I was sorta involved with before and we got into this argument because he hates the fact that I have a new boyfriend and stuff. It got to the point where he was telling me he cares about me more than any guy I date. This guy always pushed me to do more with him all the time, but I never wanted to have sex. I always told him that making out is as far as I'd go.
Well then he was like, "It's not my fault about everything that happened. You shouldn't have lead me on by making out with me."
I'm wondering if that's true that making out with a guy means that eventually there's gonna be more.
Like, I usually wouldn't have believed this but one of my last boyfriends almost raped me cause I didn't want to do more.
My guy friend who was all mad at me was saying that if I don't want a guy to push for more, don't make out with them.
I've already made out with my current boyfriend and it scares me that he's gonna push for more.
I'll probably end up talking to him about it later but what's your opinion? I know I have this guy friend who might just be jealous but is what he's saying true?
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At this juncture, you should have had a talk with your current man that there won't be any sex. That way, he knows what he is getting into.
Guys have a really strong need for sex. When I was a teen in the 1970's, if I was making out with my girlfriend all the time, not having sex with her was very frustrating and after a while I would lose interest. Blue balls are no fun, believe me.
However, it's your body and so they have no say in how you decide to use it. Don't be guilt tripped into doing anything you don't want to. Ultimately, your life is your own and you need to lead it according to what makes you happy. But it is also good to be honest and up front. That way, they can make a free decision to take it or leave it and can't say they weren't warned.
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My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years and we love it. we have had multiple fights in the past but we have never broken up. we always make up. he and i have both never cheated either. the problem is that the 'spark' went away. i don't get butterflies when i kiss him, i just know that i love him and the kissing feels good. So i've talked to him tonight and told him i don't know if i am IN love with him like i used to be. i've never been in love before so i don't know what it truly feels like. i know that this feels different though. and then he told me the same. how would we know, and how do i let him know that he is in love with me ? or at least help him realize if he is or not. thank you (link)
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All relationships have expiration dates. Sometimes it's six weeks, other times its 60 years. It's all down to the intensity of the chemistry between the people involved.
You don't say how old you are, but since almost all of the people who pose questions here are in their teens or early 20's, I will say that at your age it is normal for you to grow apart or for your sensibilities to change since your brains will keep developing until about age 25. It happens. It's nobody's fault. Your current relationship, even if you decide to split, will be valuable because you will learn something from it and that will hopefully make your next relationship better. It's all part of growing up.
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