ask solidadvice4teens



read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators



I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
Answers: 3591
Last Update: August 30, 2022
Visitors: 133649

Main Categories:
Mental health
Parenting
Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories
View All

okay,ive been homeschooled since i was like 2 and next semester which im afaird of.im totally the kind of person that you have to come up.im shy,at first atleast and im scared that everyone there[since its like a school where like doctors send their kids]will be stuck up and not think that im good enough.that im just some dumb homeschooler who totally is a loser[which i am,but not in the bad way]and doesnt know what all this stuff means and stuff.and when i go,i dont want it to be like totally life changing in a way that i turn away from God[which i do NOT want to do]and not be able to handle all the stuff out there.but i just found out that one of my friend's friend will be going to that school aswell which is a total thumbs up.but still.i dont wanna change and i dont wanna be an outcase.



help me. (link)

You are certainly not dumb at all. In fact, all the statistics out there point to homeschooled children being healthier, happier, more adjusted and smarter and ahead of their peers.

I was homeschooled myself for 3 years (never went to highschool) and then entered high school and college. Is it a difficult transition? I won't lie to you it will be at first but over time you'll just blend in with all the others.

It's possible the other kids may be snobbish however, go in with a positive outlook. You don't want to pre-judge them and or vice-versa have them pre-judge you.

Go in, be friendly and expect the same. You always get what you expect anyway because people pick up on fear and avoid it or use it against you in bullying.

Be confident in yourself and who you are that people will like you. You already have a friend who is going there so I would use them to help you find friends and stick together that way in a buddy system.

If you don't understand what certain things are or mean don't worry about it. Ask! There's tons of stuff they cannot do themselves that you excel in trust me on that.

This isn't going to be totally life-changing nor will it change your religious beliefs or make you turn away from God. Nobody can do that and the situation cannot.

You will be able to handle this change and will adjust eventually as I had to myself. You might even find this a better situation than the one you left. Do not expect to be an outcast before even going.

As long as you are friendly and want to associate with people you'll be fine in the long term. One of the things you should do is introduce yourself to kids you want to get to know and throw a party the first week of school. That will help you out a ton.


My boyfriend used to be a huge drugaddict. When we first started dating, I told him that if he started that stuff again I was done. It's been 7 months, and now he wants to get back into them. Things such as coke and heroine. I honestly love him to death, but it seems like hes choosing these things over me now. I have no clue what to do.

help please?

(link)


I would speak to your parents and be honest about your boyfriend's past and that he is beginning to slip back into that old behavior. See if they can contact his friends, family and meet together and encourage him to seek help.

Tell him you intend to be his friend and someone who can help him but that you're someone of your word and cannot and will not date him until such times as he gets help and stays away from drugs.

You have to break it off as it's not a safe situation for either of you. If you love him you'll break it off, be his friend and stage some kind of intervention where the people he loves try and get him help and support.

You don't want any part of an addict's lifestyle or cocaine and heroin addicton in your experience or to be dating someone who is sliding into the abyss. It's very traumatic and dangerous for you both.

Tell your parents the truth, break the romance off and let him know you're always there for him if he needs support as is your family. It's just not right for him to expect watch someone you love self-destruct. It's a hard line to take but you have to.


how do i know if i cum?
Guy's can tell when they cum but i'm not sure what it feels like for a women. (link)

I read an article on thesite.org (see link below) that lists signs women should know to see if they are having an orgasm or not.

It says you should be feeling intense pleasure, your pulse will race/quicken, breathing is very rapid, you'll notice a ton of vaginal lubrication, they say the clitoris hardens and is exposed, breast enlarge, nipples stand up etc. etc.

The article also says You might also feel flushed and your pelvic muscles will tighten and contract a several times.

Here's the link (it contains no adult material, no how-tos, no photos so that the admin knows this) http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/havingsex/styles/thefemaleorgasm


ok well i am 13 and i havent had my first kiss yet. well my boyfriend (who doesnt know that i havent had my first kiss) said that he was going to kiss me tomorrow. well i have no clue what to do. i mean i have heard that it is so much more than just tocking lips. i mean where do i put my hands? how close do i stand? do i open my mouth? do we french? please help!!!

thanks in advance

(link)

You should tell him the truth before he tries to kiss you that you A) want to be kissed and B) have never been kissed by anyone at all. After you do that all he will do is make you feel comfortable and walk you through it.

Most guys actually enjoy teaching girls who have never been kissed this skill. It should be fun for both of you as practising will make perfect. don't worry about a thing as all guys and even girls know that everyone has a first time at this.

If you talk to him before he ever kisses you you can prevent an uncomfortable or embarassing moment before it happens. Once he knows the truth he can help you learn this skill and you'll be fine from there on out.


I need a good way to convince my mother to let me get my belly button peirced. Any one have any ideas on how I can help convince her? Oh, and if you had one how much did it hurt? (link)

I would start by collecting fact-sheets about body piercing and navel rings in particular as well as information on piercing safety. I think once you read it with your mother and discuss her concerns that things will learn in your favor.

You cannot ever convince anyone of anything they themselves don't want to see or believe. All you can do is lay down the facts. Now that is something I can help you with!

Safety Check List on Piercings http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_body/skin_stuff/body_piercing_safe.html

This one talks about safety, healing time, jewelery
http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/body-piercing.html

This lint is all about body piercing and tattoos and has FAQ's and a beginninger's guide

http://tattoo.about.com/




Tomorrow I'm going to a rock concert with a friend. What should I wear, and how should I do my hair and makeup?

Also, what do you think I should take? We're going to be standing near the mosh pit, and I don't want to lose anything valuable.

Thanks in advance, xxx (link)


ear something that is comfortable and loose fitting. A t-shirt and jeans should suffice. Do not bring to the arena any cameras, recording devices or camera cell-phones.

They can be taken from you by security or they can force you to put them back in your car or refuse entry. Bring your wallet with money and a bank card only for that very reason.

The most important thing of all is shoes. You are going to need comfortable ones for a concert that will last 2 or more hours. Your feet are going to get sore from standing in the mosh pit the whole time where there is hardly any leg room and people are pushing up against you. This goes double for any seats in the stands.

As far as your hair goes it's fine to wear it straight and long. Your best option is wearing it up or in a pony tail as that is likely going to be more comfortable. Keep any valuables at home as you don't want anyone picking your pocket or losing something if they try to lift you up.


Hi 14/f.

My names Whitney and when I was really young, I was diagnosed with something called a "tremor disorder." I haven't gotten tested since then but I noticed, that my 'shakes' have gotten noticeably worse over the past years and its beginning to worry me. Some days its like I don't even have it, but days like today, it's uncontrollable, and can be quite embarrassing. Sometimes its so bad that if I am holding a cup of water or something, it'll splash out..

Does anyone know of any foods, vitamins, or medicines I can take to slow down the "shakes?"

Also I am Lactose Intolerant so its hard to eat foods with calcium, so don't say milk or any other dairy products. (link)


This is also a problem I suffer from myself but mine is a byproduct of bipolar disorder. I'm hoping that what my doctor told me about controlling my severe tremors may work for you.

I myself had tremors so bad I couldn't stop shaking at times nor could I hold a spoon, fork, cup or a piece of paper in my hand without it shaking uncontrollably.

The first thing the doctor asked me was whether I was drinking lots of bottled water or not. I wasn't. He told me that I was likely either dehydrated or not hydrated enough and that not slugging back water constantly or carrying a bottle of water with me led to being somewhat dehydrated during the course of the day or few days of not drinking water.

The result was constant tremors and shaking like yourself here. Once I drank a ton of water each day ( well 8-10 glasses of it) the tremors stopped or got to the point where I could control it by continuing to drink water.

You should stop drinking sof-drinks and juice for a while and stick to water or gatorade only and see what happens with your tremor. Also, not to be gross or anything pay attention to whether or not your urine is cloudy, a slightly orange color or clear.

If it's clear it means according to my doctor you are hydrated whereas the other cloudy, orange type means you need water. See if once it becomes clear if your tremor fades away again.

You should see your doctor and tell him someone diagnosed your tremor while you were young and said it was linked to some kind of disorder. Ask them what they think asap even if you do find drinking tons of water does in fact control and or put a stop to it.

I doubt it has anything to do with calcium or diet because if you are healthy in all aspects but this one it's clearly something alrogether different and likely non-threatening or bad at all. There's a solution for it. See your doctor and also try and see if this works too.


Is it normal for an 18 yr old girl to be addicted to wathing gay porn (guys having sex with guys - especially when oral sex is given)?
(I also love watching girls giving oral sex to other girls)
So is this considered normal?? (link)

What one person thinks is normal another person may not. That's the trouble with the word. Some people may think watching any kind of porn is wrong or not normal while others enjoy it and consider it part of their normal routine.

To answer your question there is nothing wrong with watching pornography if you are 18+ of any variety. It doesn't make you gay or bisexual either to watch the type of porn you are watching.

Odds are that you are extremely curious about this kind of sex and sexuality and are interested in seeing these films. The novelty of them will eventually wear off and you'll watch them less and less.

This is only a problem if you are doing nothing other than watching these movies and not having a regular life or watching regular TV and movies and going about your life. It doesn't sound like an addiction to me right now.

It's sexual curiosity combined with your always wanting to know about this sort of thing. Even if you were gay or bisexual there's nothing wrong with looking at this kind of pornography. Many straight girls do in fact look at gay porn and may be turned on by it or girl/girl. That's normal and again it's all fantasy and curiosity about this kind of thing and the lifestyle itself. Don't worry about it.


Okay for our yearly band trip we are going to dallas. and we are staying in an embassy suite. Is that a good nice hotel? I come from a weathly family and we usually stay in Waldorfs, Hiltons, Marco Polo, Etc, and i didnt kno what to expect. should i make reservations for myself at anpther hotel or will i be able to deal with it? Thanks and it may seem like i am being snobby but i really am not.

Cody* (link)

Most Embassy Suites Hotels are either four or five star locations. The rooms are not cheap and their clientele is usually rich or well to do. It's an unusal choice for a school to rent rooms there as it's quite costly. The chain is operated by Hilton Hotels which is its parent company.

They have an Embassy Suites near us and it has indoor sauna, swimming pool, gym, racket club, ballroom, etc. etc. If your school is renting rooms out in one you are lucky. Having said that there is nothng wrong with the Best Westerns, Red Roof Inns, Super 8s etc schools usually book for students.

You're going be comfortable in either one. If you want to you should ask the name and location of the Embassy Suites they will be using in Dallas because this web site lists the amenities and shows actual pictures of how each room looks http://embassysuites1.hilton.com/en_US/es/index.do

That should be helpful to you as it's a guide to what you can expect. Regardless of what hotel chain your school books you'll be safe as they must have researched it and the area extensively.


i just got the nintendo wii. when i try to go on the internet settings on it, it sfinds my modem, but says its secure and i need a password to access it. how do i make it so i dont need a password, because i dont even know it! (link)

You should try calling Nintendo at 1-800-255-3700 and tell the person who answers your call the problem you are having. They should know a way around it as they offer technical assistance on all of their products for free over the phone.


Ok, what is so wrong with doing something that I want to do that includes things like trying things out on the computer. Listen, you see I wanted to get on America's got talent, BUT I couldn't find anything. So I went to Google and searched for talent tryouts in my area. Well get this, my mom is p-off, because when I told her she was like, "How many times have I told you not to give away personal info on the computer." I know she's trying to make sure I don't get hurt, but, I mean COME ON!!!! A Talent thing, they even said a parent had to be around when I tryed out. It isn't fair. Acting and Singing is what I put down, and I'm basically a drama queen and I'm a great alto. My mom knows that I love these two things, so how come she got p-off? Doesn't she want me to be happy and at least try do something that I love to do besides sport and that isn't in the school system? I know money is low but I love to act and sing, so how come she's holding me back?
P.S. sorry if this is a bit long. (link)

UPDATE:

Thanks for incorrectly rating me a two please change that as you misread what I said about agents and told me that in the feedback..

You don't buy an agent at all. By "hire" an agent it's meant that you sign a contract with an agent. The term "hire" does not have to mean you pay anyone. You're signing a contract in this case and they get zilch unless you make money off a project they got for you.

ORIGINAL ADVICE:

If you love to act and sing than you should join a youth theatre group in your city or community or hire an agent so you can work on film sets as a background performer (a.k.a. extra) on films and TV projects set in a metropolitan city nearest you.

Your mother never said anything about you not being able to act or do something you really love outside of school. She did however, say that she didn't want you to give out personal information over the Internet to anyone.

Your mother doesn't want you to get hurt or become involved in a scam where you get ripped off by so-called agents and talent competitions with people not being what they seem regardless of parents being present.

In all liklihood this talent show may be designed so that contestants spend money to partake, have photos taken after wards etc. In the entertainment industry half of the agents, talent shows etc. advertised in the newspaper, phone book and online are frauds.

If you want to sing, dance and act try joining a community theatre group or talk to your parents about your ambitions and log onto the Screen Actors Guild Web site or the ACTRA Web site in Canada and look for a list of reputable agents who represent background performers to become an extra in film and TV in the city nearest you or an agency that reps only kids and teens.

Agents, directors, casting directors and photographers in the entertainment industry do not advertise anything including talent competitions on the Internet, in newspapers or phone books as that's just not how they find clients or cast shows, movies or TV.

I can say that as I often do work as an extra in film and TV shot here in my city and went through the proper channels to find out who is reputable and who isn't before pursuing this. If you want to be in showbusiness you have to have your wits about you at all times and be weary of people. Unless they're on the SAG or ACTRA list don't sign.

Also, while I'm answering this I should point out if anyone offers to put your photo online for directors and casting directors to see RUN! it's a scam and a way for them to make money from you. Directors, agents and casting directors never use the Internet to cast films.

Also HUGE scams are agents who insist you get professional photos done by their photographer only at a high price. It's done to rip you off. All you need when you first join an agency is snapshots. To be an extra you just need one snapshot or 8 *10 that could be your school photo even that they can make laser copies of to send to casting directors.

If you want to model follow my advice about pictures and being put online as it applies to this as well and as with acting don't take any "special' classes they offer. Instead turn and walk out.


k well i might hook up with this guy at the movies, and like wed make out. and i dont know how because i never have.

can anyone tell me like how to make out, like could i pratice on a pillow or something.

that sounds lame, but like if i cant he might not like me. (link)

What each person likes in a make-out session is different so tips might not even help you in the way you would like. I think if he tries to kiss you (which he will) ask him to stop for a moment and explain that you haven't been kissed or made out with anyone before and that this is the first time.

He will be considerate of that and will if you ask him coach you through it all. Most guys actually like this as well, the practicisng is kind of fun. Just be honest with him about this and take it step by step and at a comfortable pace for both of you. There's no reason to be embarassed as everyone has to start and learn this kind of thing somewhere and with someone.

He's still going to like you silly. He'll especially like you for being honest so you both don't wind up in an awkward moment when he tries something on you and you don't know how to deal with it.

Tell him the truth and that you really like him and ask him to guide you through it. He'll love that and I'm sure it will be an enjoyable stress free time for both of you.


I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now, and we have had our first fight. I had asked him to come to a friend's party with me, which he refused to do, because he didn't want to. It's been 5 days and I have not heard from him. Should I contact him or wait for him to contact me? What should I do? (link)


I think you should wait a little longer. I have a hunch he cannot admit he was the one who was wrong easily. He knows that the reason you fought was over his refusal to attend the party. This is his problem and not yours. He's stubborn and likely cannot admit it.

He will eventually call you or talk to you at school about it. Like the previous poster said don't apologize for a single thing as this is his fault and childish behavior that caused this.

The other thing is if he doesn't contact you in a few days you're totally free and better off without him as your relationship was built on sand and not a rock. Think about it do you really want a boyfriend who takes a massive powder over an invite to attend someone's party and then doesn't contact you again?

Wait a few days and see if he approaches you or calls you. If he doesn't move on as you have just learned what kind of person he is and that things would not work in the future.

He will probably cool down though and approach you and hopefully admit he was wrong. Give it until Friday and then if he doesn't call you put the word out you're single again. If that doesn't trigger a reaction or an apology nothing else can.


hi! id would visit canada like in a month for a month .. id like to know if there's any nice clubs or anything like that where you can dance and stuff in TORONTO?? that will allow me to get in ..im 17 by the way or any cool places that i can visit and meet people =)????? (link)
You can always tell an advice giver who has never been to Toronto judging from the person's response that it's dirty etc.

I'm Torontonian so I can fill you in on what to do here when in the city. Our nightclubs are all 19+ because they are liscensed and that's the legal age to drink here. They won't let you in unless a show or dance is labelled all ages.

Even then you want to stay clear of any clubs near Oosgoode Subway station or Richmond Street West. There's a lot of bad stuff happening in that area.

What you will want to do is go to Canada's Wonderland which is our version of Six Flags, see Niagra Falls, Casa Loma, CN Tower the usual tourist traps ;) first and then get to the good stuff.

Toronto is known for its theatre district so you are going to want to check out www.mirvish.com and see what is happening. They have the Phantom on stage until mid-june and We Will Rock You which is musical with wall-to-wall musical numbers and plot based around the rock band Queen. It's the hottest ticket here right now.

You also MUST go to The Second City comedy club www.secondcity.com in Toronto. They have an awesome show there called "The Tip of The melting Iceburg" it's sketch comedy and it's where Ryan Stiles, Dan Aykroyd, John Cany, Mike Meyers etc started their careers. They let people your age in.

You also will want to go to Yuk Yuks. www.yukyuks.com which is where jim Carrey, Howie Mandell, jamie Kennedy, Bob Saget and others have played and or started their standup comedy careers at.

If you like baseball head to The Rogers Centre for a Blue Jays Game or if you are into Soccer head to the BMO centre to see The Toronto FC soccer club our professional team.


See this link too http://www.toronto.hm/attractions.html

and go to this link as it has tons of ideas http://www.torontotourism.com/visitor


I just learned that my dog of twelve who is a chocolate lab is going to be put to sleep. My mom died when i was younger, and he was like my memory of herr.. she loved that dogg. I wanna spend my last few days with him doing something.. but he has cancer. It hurts for him to walk, and he won't eat. I don't know what to do. I haven't been myself.. and i don't like that.. what else should i do?
thanks. (link)


As hard as it may be to wrap your head around this and get past being upset you need to know this is a very loving thing that is being done to help a suffering animal. If the animal was left to suffer needlessly it would be cruel.

Understand that your dog loves you and always had and always will. Think of positive memories about your dog and not negative ones. Definitely you should spend time with it now and be reassuring to it and pet it and talk to it etc.

It's totally normal to not feel yourself over this. It's part of the grieving process and eventually after a week or so these feelings die down enough for you to continue normal activity and function properly.

The best thing you can do right now is to talk about your anger, feelings, being depressed etc. wth other people in your family as that helps greatly. While the fog helps you to remember your late mother know that neither your mom nor your pet would want you upset over this.

It's an unfortunate part of life but everything must pass on at some point but they are always with it etched in memory and that's the one thing nobody can take away from you.


how do i ask a girl to hook up with me? like what is a smooth i guess pick up line? example scenario would be at a party, and i have been talking to and flirting with a girl the whole night. (link)

Girls hate pickup lines and have heard all the cheesy ones that guys come up with. A pickup line at a party or club will likely get you a bad reaction from her and you'll wish you never approached her as a result.

If you like a girl you have met or seen at a party just go up and introduce yourself. Offer to get her a drink. If she says no thanks move on as she's just not in to you or has a boyfriend.

If she says yes to a drink tell her who you are and that you would like to get to know her better. See what happens and perhas she'll sit next to you and you can talk and exchange numbers and see what happens with dating or "hooking up" after that.


My mom gets drunk at least twice a week, sometimes up to 4 times a week. Today she is drunk. Tomorrow is my 17th birthday, so I got the mail to see if I received anything, and I did, but I hate opening presents early.

I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the envelopes and package had been opened by my mom and she asked if I wanted to open them tonight.

I don't know what to do..I really don't like her right now. Opening my gifts for my birthday is ruined because of her. I've told my mom's parents and her sister about her getting drunk, and they've all talked to her. She won't stop. She says she's getting help every week..it isn't helping.

What do I do about her and my birthday? :( (link)

She has a serious problem as you know with drinking and needs intervention. If nobody else knows what to do here or isn't stepping in you can be brave and do it to help her and your family. Log onto this website http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html and find your local chapter.

Tell Alateen exactly what is going on at home and that your mother says she wants help but keeps spiralling downward and all about what is happening with you. They will empower you and help you deal with the situation and get her help.

If all her friends, her kids and people she trusts gets together for an intervention and inists on a treatment program as well as Al-Anon meeting every week that they put her in where she cannot leave she will succeed. Definitely use Al-anon and Alateen to your advantage.

You should also talk to your teachers in confidence and tell them the problems you have at home. They might be able to find ways to confront your mother and make her enter treatment.

As far as your birthday goes call your friends up and change your plans to hang out with them outside of home and open gifts elsewhere. You might want to leave your mother a note about her needing help and that you've had enough and will get other adults to intervene.

Let her know she's ruined your birthday and is continuing to wreck your relationship with her and tear apart the family. Insist she get help and that if she doesn't do so you'll get it for her as you care.

People with this problem are normal and good people who cannot see that they have a problem or how it affects others around them until they are in treatment. She has no idea the magnitude of what she's doing and has done. There is a lot of selfishness that is part and parcel of being that addicted.

More or less she needs intervention and soon and to enjoy your birthday see your friends outside of the home, leave your mom said note about her behavior and open your gifts elsewhere. Maybe she'll get it.

If she desn't her entire family and friends not only talking to her (as that does zilch) but telling her she has no choice but to enter treatment and they won't leave unless she goes will do it.

Also, if she's divorced from your father tell him everything about the situation. He can then go to a lawyer who can tell her to smarten up or the custody agreement issue will come up again.

She needs help but doesn't have the motivation and hasn't reached the stage where she believes she has a problem that is doing damage here that is not repairable.


i need help.. im looking to intern at a modelling agency or in theater/acting in new york this summer.. how do i find one! (link)


Here are some listings for current theatrical intern jobs in NYC http://www.playbill.com/jobs/find/category_listing/7.html

If you keep checking Playbill that's your best bet. However, I should warn you that a lot of theatres are union halls where you must be a member of their union to do ASM or anything else.

My recommendation if you don't get an internship from that list is to start calling NYC theatres and ask who promotes certain shows that you want to help out with and approach the production company about clerical or administrative work.

As far as modelling and talent agencies go you need to contact the Screen Actors Guild in the U.S. or ACTRA in Canada for a list of reputable agents as there's a lot of bad people and agents out there and you don't want to work for them.

Start calling the agents and casting directors they give you a list for in NYC to see if they need an intern. If you are part of a college program or just recently graduated contact your profs. as they might be able to help with leads.


hi i would like to no if fingering myself or having a boy finger me is ok i am 14 teen and i of course had my period


thanx for your answers (link)


You are perfectly fine and it's okay if you finger yourself or allow a boy to do it. Make sure you communicate with him before, during, after about what you want and teach him what is too rough and or unpleasant.


me and a few friends are making a short movie for school and we want to make it as realistic as possible. in a scene where a few guys get shot, how can we do this so it's very realistic? how do they do it in the movies so we can do the same? we know that they use things like fire crackers to make the effect but we aint sure how to do it ourself. help plz (link)

In the movies they use food coloring as well as corn syrrup or red dye to help create the look of blood. Here's a link for making realistic fake blood http://www.dainter.com/infocus/fakeblood.htm

The sound effect of a gun going off is not made from fire-crackers in Hollywood films. A group of people called foley artists create sound effects on their own for films and record them in a studio during post-production.

Here's an article on what they do and how they do it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foley_artist

This article here http://www.videomaker.com/article/9027/
gives tips on making a variety of your own sound effects yourself.

Further searching on Google may yield exact answers on how to create the sound of a gun going off. This is what I found for you with a cursory look.




read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker