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my drunk mom
My mom gets drunk at least twice a week, sometimes up to 4 times a week. Today she is drunk. Tomorrow is my 17th birthday, so I got the mail to see if I received anything, and I did, but I hate opening presents early.
I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the envelopes and package had been opened by my mom and she asked if I wanted to open them tonight.
I don't know what to do..I really don't like her right now. Opening my gifts for my birthday is ruined because of her. I've told my mom's parents and her sister about her getting drunk, and they've all talked to her. She won't stop. She says she's getting help every week..it isn't helping.
What do I do about her and my birthday? :(
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She has a serious problem as you know with drinking and needs intervention. If nobody else knows what to do here or isn't stepping in you can be brave and do it to help her and your family. Log onto this website [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) and find your local chapter.
Tell Alateen exactly what is going on at home and that your mother says she wants help but keeps spiralling downward and all about what is happening with you. They will empower you and help you deal with the situation and get her help.
If all her friends, her kids and people she trusts gets together for an intervention and inists on a treatment program as well as Al-Anon meeting every week that they put her in where she cannot leave she will succeed. Definitely use Al-anon and Alateen to your advantage.
You should also talk to your teachers in confidence and tell them the problems you have at home. They might be able to find ways to confront your mother and make her enter treatment.
As far as your birthday goes call your friends up and change your plans to hang out with them outside of home and open gifts elsewhere. You might want to leave your mother a note about her needing help and that you've had enough and will get other adults to intervene.
Let her know she's ruined your birthday and is continuing to wreck your relationship with her and tear apart the family. Insist she get help and that if she doesn't do so you'll get it for her as you care.
People with this problem are normal and good people who cannot see that they have a problem or how it affects others around them until they are in treatment. She has no idea the magnitude of what she's doing and has done. There is a lot of selfishness that is part and parcel of being that addicted.
More or less she needs intervention and soon and to enjoy your birthday see your friends outside of the home, leave your mom said note about her behavior and open your gifts elsewhere. Maybe she'll get it.
If she desn't her entire family and friends not only talking to her (as that does zilch) but telling her she has no choice but to enter treatment and they won't leave unless she goes will do it.
Also, if she's divorced from your father tell him everything about the situation. He can then go to a lawyer who can tell her to smarten up or the custody agreement issue will come up again.
She needs help but doesn't have the motivation and hasn't reached the stage where she believes she has a problem that is doing damage here that is not repairable.
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you have to be persistant.
a few years ago my mom used to be drunk literally every night; and she was rarely home.
but she finally went to AA and got help.
My older brother and sister and i just told her over and over again how much she was hurting us.
You need to make it clear to her that her drinking effects everyone in your house and family; her sister, possibly your siblings, everyone. Ask her to please go to AA or a physcatrist; if she is already going; ask her to go more.
I will tell you from experience; if she doesnt get help and break the habit; it will get worse from one week to three times a week to everyday. And at that point it's very hard to break it.
Tell her you love her, and you know that she loves you; but she is hurting you a lot, and you hate seeing her drunk. I found it effective to talk to my mom while she was sober and drunk; get in both sides of her mind. (Although if your mother is angry when she is drunk i would suggest not being alone with her; just to be 100% safe; because when drunk you never know what someone will do)
Just tell her over and over you love her and care about her. It WILL take awhile. it WILL take time. It WILL take effort from you; your mother; and all involved. it will also take patience; this cannot be solved over night; trust me i went through years with my mother because i didnt have the strenght to ask her to stop. it will take much more then one conversation; it will be hard; lots of fights and lots of tears. But leaving it a lone is worse.
Obviously you cannot force her into AA or consuling; but she DOES need it to get better.
Good luck with everything; if you need help with anything else; or just someone to vent to from an outside source; just send me a message on here.
Hope everything works out!
AuntieEm
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This is a tricky one. My mother was very similar to yours, but i told her that her getting drunk was hurting me and that i was ashamed of her. Using psycological comments may help make her see how she's affecting you. Good luck :]
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