I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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haha im alittle embarresed asking this question but i know that you bleed when you "pop your cherry" and i know what it is and everthing. but how do you know if you havent popped it before? and can it be popped doing cheerleading like lounges or splits or something. cuz i think i popped mine a while ago but i have no clue. (link)
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You might want to click this archived link as a girl just asked basically the same question last night about how you will know whether it's been stretched before or not. There's several answers plus mine there to read.
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=489857
I'm not sure about cheerleading or louges, splits but I have heard that certain sports like the one's you listed can indeed stretch it including horseback riding but quite frankly unless someone informs me otherwise I believe that to be a myth that keeps circulating.
But yes, it's true you probably won't know if it has been stretched as it can be stretched by masturbation but most usually tampon useage. Have a look at the link above as it's more helpful.
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Okay I masturbate a lot... and I have never bled or anything from my cherry popping. is it possible that it still could have popped? (link)
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First of all it's a misconception that the hymen pops. There's nothing to pop instead it stretches and some times tears a little bit. Your hymen can be stretched by masturbation or more likely tampon usuage and doesn't only get stretched through intercourse.
For some girls this happens without them noticing but for some their is minor dicomfort/pain and a bit of bleeding. If you use tampons believe me it's been stretched in order for the tampon to go into your vagina.
I hope this helps. At either rate everything is fine and even if it did stretch you're still a virgin etc. etc. as most girls fret about that issue.
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hey anyone have any good ways of flirting with a best friend that always flirts with you. he is a really funny guy and really sweet too and most people think he likes me back. the thing is i think we're both a little shy about saying how we feel. so he'll do like indirect things. he hugs every girl but he holds hands with me and no one else. and he always says i love you to me. usually its like he pretends to be mean like he'll say "i hope you get hit by a car!" jokingly of course and then ill say ok and he'll be like just kidding I LOVE YOU. and i know its corny or stupid or whatever but he looks for any excuse to hold my hand or hug me and we're like always together. we're going on a field trip soon and he asked if i wanna sit next to him on the bus and i said yes. lol i sound like a little kid saying all of this. how can i show him i like him because he doesnt know at all. i think im a little shy in this department because he does most of the flirting and i just go along with it. like if he holds my hand or something ill just let him or if he wants an extra hug ill give it to him. how do guys KNOW a girl likes them without actaully telling them? thanx a bunch guys i appreciate it especially if ur a guy. =) (link)
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You have a great opportunity to find out what he thinks of when you sit next to him on the bus. Tell him you've been friends for a very long time and trust one another but that you really need to know if when he says "I love you." is a joke or not.
He has nowhere to go with you sitting next to him so maybe he will come clean if you just ask. Then if he admits it you can tell him where you stand. You have an opening here a mack truch could get through so use it to your advantage.
Other ways you can flirt is playing with your hair, let him catch you looking at him (once or twice), compliments etc. and invite him to your parties and to hang out with friends and build on your friendship.
Trust me he knows by now how shy you are because he probably is too and beside himself on what to do here. Make it easy and use the opening line above about the meaning of "i love you" when you're together on the bus as he has nowhere to go but to sit with you.
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my boyfriends and their friends always ask me when im on my period and its annoying. they always ask me how it feels and if i like it. and if they can see it. i tell my boyfriend to tell them to stop and him to stop too but he just says im over exageratting and to shutup because im a slut and i like it? which isnt true. i like him alot though and he is very nice when he isnt around his perverted friends. and im not going to break up with him but idk what to do or how to get him to stop. alright thanks. (link)
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They are very immature as you know by now and likely curious about girls and all aspects about them including menstruation which of course they being guys don't do.
Nobody has taught them how to behave around girls/people and what not to bring up and any lessons about tact. You shouldn't have to put up with this shit and your boyfriend shrugging it off and not paying attention to your feelings.
If this ever happens again tell them "A girl's period and especially this girl's period is her business only. If you want to know about the subject head to a library and borrow a book about puberty which from the looks of it you both need as you haven't gotten through it."
Next tell your boyfiend "you have a choice here keep your perverted friends and laugh this off or learn to grow up, admonish them and protect me."
If I were you hon, I would recognize the fact that all 3 of them are immature and you are the only mature one and deserve a man not a teenager with the intellect of a 6 year-old as your boyfriend (which you might not like me saying but it's the truth). Ditch all three of them is what I would do and give 'em hell.
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female.
i masturbate a lot, but i only do it on my clitoris because fingering myself doesnt feel like anything.
am i doing it wrong?
like i dont even feel it when i do & i really want to make it feel enjoyable because whenever my boyfriend fingers me its like nothing happens. it doesnt feel good or like anything.
any suggestions? (link)
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While we cannot provide suggestion on what to do (you can get banned permanentky for providng that info) I can tell you that the clitoris has no other scientific function than for female pleasure.
Many females focus on it for pleasure but others find it too intense or don't get pleasure from it etc. There's no right or wrong way with this.
Each person enjoys something different so asking for suggestions will not help you. What works for one female will not for another.
You really have to figure out on your own over time what feels good for you and then tell your boyfriend and communicate before, during, after fingering exactly what you want. He's clueless otherwise and there's no point in him trying to do this if neither you nor him know what kind of stimulation you respond to.
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Ok i feel kind of dumb asking myself a question but i need to know what i can tell myself.... I am really scared because my bf for 1 month wants to have sex and i told him i was a virgin(yeah right) but he told me he wanted to take my virginity what on earth should i do? (link)
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Tell him the truth and that you are sorry you lied but only did it because he was looking forward to losing his virginity to you and you to him at the same time.
Tell him that ultimately it doesn't matter as you still want to experience this kind of intimacy with him and can help guide him so he knows what he is doing and doesn't feel uncomfortable when he decides to engage in this activity with you.
The truth is needed here but once you tell him you did it to protect him and or his feelings and desires I think he will understand why you did.
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ahh ok so this guy - my best friend- i think he likes me too and he always flirts and hugs me and holds my hand and i want to let him know i like him. whats something really flirty that i could do to make him realize how i feel. like something cute that he might like. i dont know like maybe a kiss on the cheek would be too much? hmm oh well help me think of stuff! haha thanx a bunch ; ) (link)
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Actually a kiss on the cheek is not such a bad idea as it's quick, subtle and he'll get it. If he asks what did you do that for? Smile and say "just for being you." and then pipe in "Well, you left me with no other option to tell you."
Give him a peck on the cheek and make a joke. Then use it to discuss how you truly feel and just let it on out. He will respect you for it even if you don't date in the end. He's your best friend after all and won't bail on you over a peck on the cheek and you revealing how you feel.
Maybe you would be doing him a favor as he probably feels the same exact way about you but both of you are too scared about how the other will react.
As far a flirty goes if playing with your hair, smiling, joking, and glancing at him as well as making compliments aren't registering with his brain and setting off bells that "she likes me I better do something about it" than you need to step it up, get a bit agressive and go after what you want here. You'll be happy for letting go of this secret that has been burning inside of you.
A peck on the cheek is perfectly fine with the lines above I just gave you as a guide. What will probably happen is that he'll lean in and try to kiss you if he likes you. I've seen it happen lots.
Just be honest with him because best friends never hid the truth or secrets about anything. The worst case scenario is that you end up having a heart to heart where he doesn't want to date you but wants to become closer as friends.
One fliratious thing you could try is asking him to cuddle when alone. But at either rate none of this will serve you well unless you get the truth out. The peck on the cheek is a damn good way of waking him up to how this old girl he knows is in to him.
He'll stop seeing you as a girl he knows and has known since who knows when and see the grown up you that is serious about where you wanthim to be in your life right now. Basically, to sum it up be agressive and go after him.
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Okay.. so there is this guy that i honestly for real love. i don't think he loves me back. but we have been on and off for about 2 years now, and the last time we were together we did some stuff.. not sex. but other stuff.. and then he ended it with me, and prom was coming around, and im a soph. and at our school it is junior prom. so it was no big deal that i didn't go. but instead he goes with someone.. who is kinda my friend.. fine.. didn't care.. well i kinda did. but i got over it. and now i hear that he likes her, and she doesn't like him. don't care about that either.. but we just started talking again, and he told me that we should party this weekend, and i said alright.. and we kinda have jus this fun little bet going, that he thinks ill have sex with him, because he thinks i want it that bad. and i say i won't. and thats all u need to know about that. but see the thing is. i don't know if he jus using me.. again ((well kinda again)) cause he jus wants to have sex or w/e, or if he really does like me again. and another thing is i am a virgin. so this would be my first, and i know that if i do do it with him it'll mean something to me.. i jus don't know about him. so i jus need help on this whole situation!! if i could have a few ppl help me.. that would be great! so PLEASE HELP! Thanks*
Sorry it was so long! :) (link)
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If you don't know if he is using you or not don't have sex with him. You don't even know if he really likes you. He dropped you once after doing something that wasn't I assume from your question was sexual in nature but not intercourse. I think he's using you to get what he really wants.
When it comes to your virginity and first sexual experience you only get one shot. You need to pick someone who loves you deeply and you have a connection with and is trutworthy or you'll regret it the rest of your life. This guy is not worthy.
You need to put aside your feelings for him and listen to what your gut is telling you about him. Don't have sex with him hon especially if you have no idea if hes sincere, using you or even likes you at all. Wait.
If I were you I wouldn't even go to the party or I would tell him that "I want you to know the bet about sex was just a joke and I'm ready to do any of that stuff with anyone yet."
If you feel weird or uncomfortable at the party go and leave. I wouldn't even go if I were you and would just move on. If someone is coming out of nowhere back into your experience and is looking for sex it's not because he loves you. He wants sex and that's it.
Be smart here. You sort of figured it out already for yourself when most girls don't see through people. Resist the temptation as sex should wait until you are truly sure you are ready and with the one you love.
There's a lot more to it than just the physical act you have to be mentally and emotionally in tune with one another for it to be worth it.
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hi! i like these boys that r in my school and in six grade but im in seventh but they r so cute me and my friends even made nick names for them (small one and tall one) should i ask one of them out or not and am i to old for them r they to young for me (im 13 not sure there age )please please answer me i need to know
xoxo,
love ya,
katie (link)
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The age difference is only a year so there's nothing wrong in that sense. The problem is girls mature as well as grow faster than boys. You might be ready to be serious about dating while they're still in to burning ants with a magnifying glass and action figures.
That's where the problem is. They might not have started puberty yet and started to grow out of being little boys and being older, wiser teenagers.
However, if you really like them and they like you there's nothing wrong in trying things out and seeing what happens. The worst thing that could happen is you don't go out or you do go out and find they are too immature and or not right for you.
Your friends may tease you about it but there's nothing wrong with dating a boy who is a year younger or older for that matter as long as you have the maturity to handle it and not let yourself get hurt if it doesn't work.
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hi, ill be 15 in a few days and female. I have a crush on this guy in my jewish youth group, but he most likely doesn't see me as any more than a friend. how do i change that?
I feel that i have a shy, but SOMETIMES outgoing personality, and can look really pretty when i try. When i am with this guy, we don't have akward moments when we are talking, its just smooth, casual, talk (even though i try to flirt). I don't know what to do to get him to ask me out....we're the same age, get along really well, and both fairly attractive.....i just don't get it.
Thanks!! (link)
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You should ask him to hang out with you and your friends outside of youth group this weekend at movies, parties etc. because you want to know him better outside of youth group.
This isn't directly asking him out but it's letting him know you are very much interested in him without saying it directly. This helps you to test the water and if he turns you down you'll know he's just not in to you.
Be subtle with your flirting and looking pretty but up the ante a bit and start in with flattering comments here and there. He's probably liking you as well but scared to do anything about it much like you are.
See what happens when you ask him to spend more time with you and hang out more. Maybe he will make a move but I think he's hoping you'll make the move first and get agressive that way.
Honesty also works. It would be going out on a limb but if you have been friends for a long time and are close you can say pretty much anything to him and vice-versa and nothing will change.
Try telling him that you think he's a great friend and you don't want to wreck a friendship but ask if he would ever consider making the friendship anything more than what it is now and that his answer will not change your friendship.
If he's just not getting your signals and that you like him you need to make a move and go after what or who in this case you want. My advice--go for broke.
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Hi my name is Jackie, I am a girl and i am 13 years old.
okay so my boyfriend is really good friends with a girl that constantly bullys me. She says bad things about me to his face but he doesnt defend me. Once she even kissed him just to make me upset. Every time me and my boyfriend fight, its about her. What should i do? should i brake up with him?
I've thought about braking up with him but i like him way too much. we have been together for almost a year and 2 months. I really need help. (link)
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Trust your gut as it is always right. If you have been having constant thoughts about breaking things off with him trust them. You are having them for some pretty valid reasons. Ask yourself the following questions:
1) Even though I love him do I really and truly feel safe, comfortable, protected and happy?
2) Would I be happier on my own of with someone else right now?
3) Ask yourself why won't he defend me or respect my thoughts about this other girl?
You need to confront him again about her and tell him how wrong it is not to defend your own girlfriend against attack even if the person doing it is a friend of his.
Also tell him she cannot come around when you are with him. Put your foot down and become assertive because you better believe it he thinks he can walk all over you and your feelings. Don't let him.
If I were you though I would walk away from the relationship and enjoy your life as he's always going to pick other girls over you and make you feel this way because he's a jerk.
This is his personality type and he's not going to change or see the problem from any perspective other than his. I know from experience that this is what you're up against.
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Sometimes in the shower when im on my period. I finger myself to get some blood out so it doesnt end up on my towel, or carpet when i get out. Is this gross? or bad? or unhealthy? (link)
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There is nothing gross, unhealthy or unatural about masturbation whether on your period or not. It's perfectly fine and you are normal.
Believe me, you aren't the first girl who has done this in your same situation nor are you the first to wonder in your head if it was okay. If you find this works for you in the shower than that's fine. Nothing bad will happen either way.
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Im 15/ Female from Ada
Ok... my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. And well, me and him havent had sex but we mess around. Like oral and fingering and making out. Well he says oral isn't sex, so it doesn't go against the bible. By the way, he is very religious. I think that oral is sex... but I don't want to tell him my opinion. Because I don't want us to stop, I like it! So what should I do, we are totally in love and I wish we could have sex. What should i tell him to have him understand that I enjoy that kind of connection with him and don't wanna stop? In my past, I feel that I have always been rejected. And i don't want to feel that way with him. (link)
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First you need to agree to disagree about the whole is it really sex question. Nobody has reached any kind of consensus on that as there will always be people who believe it is and or it's just fooling around and that intercourse is the definition of what sex is.
Personally, I agree with you that it is sex as it is a sexual act but you'll find people will never agree on that. The bottom line is you are mature, intelligent and making sure you are safe and totally aware of what you are doing and enjoying it safely as he is.
No need to voice an opinion to him really or feel guilty. just know you'll always disagree on the definition of sex and that it's okay.
Talk to him and tell him you enjoy it when you are initimate in that fashion and feel a strong connection emotionally to him. Let him know you respect his stance on sex but wish he would reconsider as you know you really want to experience this with him and you really feel that with conviction.
The other thing you could do here that is mature and responsible is tell him you enjoy what you are doing and hope he does too and that you know he wants to wait until he is married for sex because of religious beliefs. Tell him you totally understand and respect that.
A lot of religious teens and their partners these days decide to remain virgins or not have sex with each other or others until marraige and make a promise to one day wed.
That's a heavy durty decision for someone your age but you can always break the marraige part of the promise should you part ways. Doing this will show him you're serious and will honor what he decides about sex (intercourse).
Have a heart to heart with him and express all these points and see where he stands on it. Waiting won't hurt you as it's got to be right for both of you. I'm sure what you are doing currently will be unaffected as he must be okay with it or he wouldn't be engaging in it with you.
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what is the artist and title of this song? i only know a little bit...
- you wanna be a little bit taller and baller... (link)
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Here are the complete lyrics along with the name of the artist and the title of the song in this link http://www.lyricsondemand.com/onehitwonders/iwishlyrics.html
It's called "I Wish"
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age:13
sex:female
ok so yesterday was my first time makeing out. The kid i madeout with is more experienced. and it all just happened so fast. It was SUCH a blur. like i only remember the tongue and i dont remember where I put my hands! i know he put his around my waist! Do you think he thought i was bad?! can boys tell?! could he tell that it was my first time?
and to top that off. 3 of my friends madeout with him the SAME day and didnt tell me. i wouldnt of cared if they told me. should i be slightly mad?
Please help! thanks.
love, Briiiii (link)
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It sounds like this guy is developing into a real player and not a really smart one either. How could he kiss you and your friends all in the same day and not expect them to figure it all out?
The important thing is that you experienced your first kiss and it went well and now you can relax about it and be more selective about the kind of person you kiss next time or become involved with.
The best thing for you at this time is to figure out what you want in a guy and set some standards a guy must meet before you let down your guard again and let them make out with you. This makes it so you avoid guys like him and don't get hurt.
Did he think you were bad? Unfortunately only he can answer that question. While guys can usually tell if a girl has no experience some cannot.
Instinct and nature showed you how to react, move etc, kiss in this regard and obviously he thought you did well or he would have said something and stopped you and told you that you weren't doing it right. I'm sure you did fine and will get better in the future anyway.
I would be upset with your friends and ask why they hid this from you? Beyond that you are okay all on all levels but need to be choosy with guys and start asking girls you know about who is playing the field and not worthy of being dated and feel free as it's your right to tell girlfriends in confidence how this guy played you, and your two friends for fools on the same day.
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Anyone know of any ligitamate acting agents for children and teens? Thanks! (link)
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When it comes to agents for teens and children you have to be careful as you know. There's a lot of scams out there including people who say they will put your photo on the Internet for fee so casting directors see it.
That's not how casting directors work to cast films (I've done a bit of work as an extra so I know) and anyone who wants you to pay for lessons, photos etc walk away immediately. All you need are snapshots to begin with.
The only agents who can charge an actor anything are background ( read extras) agents and kids/teens agents because parents and kids often bail and extras often bail when they see this is not all glamourous and fun and games.
There's three types of agents just so you know. The first is the principal agent. For now you need to forget about this kind as they represent 5-10 well-known people or those with potential period and seldom take on someone who is unproven.
The next is a regular agent who has many people on the roster that meet a certain look for adults, teens, etc and you can get film/TV commericails voice-overs from that.
The third one is a background talent agent and it is here where I recommend you start. They will get you on to movie sets for Hollywood films filiming in your city for crowd shots usually and you can get a taste of whether you want to be in the business from being booked on various shoots.
When it comes to reputable agents you need to know that reputable agents and casting directors do not advertise at all in newspapers, phone books, online or in any type of advertising.
The way to find them is to bring up the Screen Actors Guild of America's Web site up and phone them and ask for help with a list of reputable agents in your area. They're the union for actors in the U.S. so they'll know how to direct you in the right direction.
In Canada if you head to ACTRA's Web site there will be a tab somewhere on there that gives you a list of reputable agents in all of Canada.
If you don't see an agent on the list or these people don't know about them don't pursue anything with that agent but only go after people you see on SAG and ACTRA's lists of reputable agents.
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I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now, but I've been unhappy because he gets mad at me for the stupidest reasons and expects me to drop all of my guy friends, even though 98% of them are guys. He has this one best friend, and it's a girl. She has a boyfriend who is also my boyfriends best friend. My boyfriend always hangs out with the girl and whenever I;m with the two of them, I feel like the third wheel because he always ignores me or is insanely mean to me. He constantly tells me he loves me and tells me he has no interest in her and if he did, he would've wentfor her a couple of years ago. Her and her boyfriend have been dating over a year but I still think they have a thing for eachother considering I asked him to stop hanging out with her for awhile because I was starting to get really uncomfortable with it. Me and him hangout everyday, but the two days we can't he goes and hangsout with her. It's gotten to the point to where I don't trust him at all and everytime they hangout I get really worried and end up crying to him on the phone while he sits there and flips out on me for it. I just need advice on this :(
♥`*Genn (link)
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If he can have a friend that is a girl you can have as many friends as you want that are guys. He has no right whatsoever to tell you who you can and cannot associate with at all. He sounds very controlloing, demanding and manipulative to say the very least.
If your gut feeling tells you that he is more than just friends with this girl trust it. Your gut is seldom wrong and his behavior with spending almost the same time with her as he does with you is very odd for a friendship even if it's close.
I dn't buy the line about him saying if he wanted her he would have had her a few years ago. There may indeed be nothing going on but if you feel you cannot trust him there's obviously a strong reason why you cannot.
My advice to you will not be what you want to hear but it will be the truth based on experience and seeing your situation unfold in the lives of others I know too many times to count.
You need to drop this guy as hard as it may seem and move on. He's controlling, jealous, demanding, manipulative and thinks he can do what he wants and you can't. It's bound to get far worse but hopefully not physical.
It's an abusive style of relationship here of the worst kind: mental and emotional. He has you trapped and he knows it.
You need to get assertive with him tell him you'll hang out with whomever you want especially if he hangs out with girls and that he will never tell you what to do ever again because he's on thin ice with you and you're thinking of leaving.
If you are afraid of him which it sure sounds like leave him a letter and tell him it's over and why. You need a new beginning and fresh start with a guy who cares about you and what you think and need not someone who tries to restrict your every movement and who your friends are.
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for homework i have to be creative which i am not, and create a spanish holiday
can anybody give me some ideas?
i'd really appreciate it =] (link)
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If you belive incorrectly that you are not creative and that your classmates are this is te situation you will always be in. You're just as clever as they are in this situation.
You need to hold on to that fact as taking the viewpoint you just took that you aren't creative is holding you back.
What you should do is sit down at the table with a blank piece of paper. Take a pen and start writing down everything you can think of that is related to spain and spanish in little thought balloons.
When you have 10-20 things listed in your though balloons start trying to link them to eachother by drawing lines for the ones that connect to your theme for a new spanish holiday.
An idea or more than one idea will come to you easily this way and it may turn out 10 times better than what you hoped and surprise your cassmates.
The other thing you need to do is learn more about spanish foods and culture by doing a bit of research and tie that in with whatever comes out on your paper from the thought ideas. Teachers call this technic "semantic webbing" Try it. It works!
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whats the difference between a blowjob and a handjob?
and do you think that 13 is to young to give either?
thanks (link)
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The first one is oral sex and the second is where you stimulate the other person's genitals. I think 13 is young in both cases but it's not really about age it's all about whether you both are mature enough to handle it.
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16/f
okay so im a virgin and my lips of my vagina are all like red and swollen and it's really irritated. when i walk it burns and hurts. what is it and what can i do to get rid of it? i can't go to a doctor though so any at home help?? (link)
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Sabine is certainly right about you needing to see a gynecologist a.s.a.p. It sounds like you have an infection of some type especially from what you said about burning, itching and swollen labia.
If you are feeling pain than something isn't right and you have to get it seen to. There's no other way around this. If you're also having strange discharge that looks lumpy, smells or is green or any other color than completely clear you have a problem and seeing a gynecologist is the only way to help it get healed.
I know that a lot of teenage girls are freaked out at the thought of a doctor examining "down there" and guys feel the same about their genitals too. You have to realize these doctors are professionals and have seen lots of these problems and various body parts day in day out.
The doctor will allow your mom in the room and a nurse and will walk you through everything he/she does before and during the exam. I am enclosing two links that I think you really need to see. One is about healthy/abnormal discharge and the second is about what to expect when seeing a gynecologist for the first time.
NOTE: To admin and others the second link is from a site called Scarleteen.com staffed by professional educators and the article contains only text.
DISCHARGE http://www.pamf.org/teen/health/femalehealth/discharge.html
Gynecologist Vist http://scarleteen.com/pink/gyne.html
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