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Religious confussed boyfriend!
Im 15/ Female from Ada
Ok... my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. And well, me and him havent had sex but we mess around. Like oral and fingering and making out. Well he says oral isn't sex, so it doesn't go against the bible. By the way, he is very religious. I think that oral is sex... but I don't want to tell him my opinion. Because I don't want us to stop, I like it! So what should I do, we are totally in love and I wish we could have sex. What should i tell him to have him understand that I enjoy that kind of connection with him and don't wanna stop? In my past, I feel that I have always been rejected. And i don't want to feel that way with him.
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First you need to agree to disagree about the whole is it really sex question. Nobody has reached any kind of consensus on that as there will always be people who believe it is and or it's just fooling around and that intercourse is the definition of what sex is.
Personally, I agree with you that it is sex as it is a sexual act but you'll find people will never agree on that. The bottom line is you are mature, intelligent and making sure you are safe and totally aware of what you are doing and enjoying it safely as he is.
No need to voice an opinion to him really or feel guilty. just know you'll always disagree on the definition of sex and that it's okay.
Talk to him and tell him you enjoy it when you are initimate in that fashion and feel a strong connection emotionally to him. Let him know you respect his stance on sex but wish he would reconsider as you know you really want to experience this with him and you really feel that with conviction.
The other thing you could do here that is mature and responsible is tell him you enjoy what you are doing and hope he does too and that you know he wants to wait until he is married for sex because of religious beliefs. Tell him you totally understand and respect that.
A lot of religious teens and their partners these days decide to remain virgins or not have sex with each other or others until marraige and make a promise to one day wed.
That's a heavy durty decision for someone your age but you can always break the marraige part of the promise should you part ways. Doing this will show him you're serious and will honor what he decides about sex (intercourse).
Have a heart to heart with him and express all these points and see where he stands on it. Waiting won't hurt you as it's got to be right for both of you. I'm sure what you are doing currently will be unaffected as he must be okay with it or he wouldn't be engaging in it with you.
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Okay, well you may like my advice and may not... When you really love someone you would appreciate there opinion. But at 15 you seem alittle too young to be having sex.
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