Sometimes my advice is good advice, and sometimes it's just an opinion. Sometimes people don't take good advice (ironically.) If everybody would just talk to each other, we'd have world peace, so you probably won't see "just talk to them" in my column.
I worked as a Registered Nurse for a few years so I know a little about health.
I think and read about spiritual things. I answer spiritual questions without trying to convert anyone to my own beliefs. I'm a non-denominational Christian, but I believe everyone has a path to follow, and God is patient, so I answer spiritual questions from where you are.
Gender: Female
Location: FL
Occupation: Old wise woman
Member Since: January 12, 2004
Answers: 327
Last Update: June 8, 2006
Visitors: 16185
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When I was going out with my ex boyfriend,*Greg me and his best friend were sort of into each other.Actually really into each other. It turned out Mike was going out with someone else so I dumped him. After that Mike made sure that me and his friend didn't hook up. I was avoiding Mike, so he made sure whenever I was talking to him that he was in the situation. It got uncomfortable for us to be together. So I haven't seen or talked to the friend,*Marc for a while. But I can't get him out of my head. I really miss him, and I can't stop thinking about him.However I know it would hurt Greg if I went out with MArc,and I don't want to hurt him since he sounds sorry for what he did. But I'm still lusting after Marc...what do I do? (link)
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Let's see if I understand this:
You were going out with Guy #1 (Mike?). Guy#2 (Greg?) is Guy#1's best friend. Guy#1 went out with someone else while you were going out with him. So you dumped him. But you were going out with Guy#2 at the same time as you were going out with Guy#1 anyway. (Who is Marc?) Guy#1 tried to be sure that you and Guy#2 didn't get together, but you want to go with Guy#2. You think Guy #1 is sorry for going out with someone else and will be hurt if you go out with Guy#2. Your question is what should you do?
Forget them both and get a hobby.
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hey its brownie* i have a question.. yes i wonder about stuff 2 even though i help some people in my spare time! please someone help me! GUYS.. I REALLY WANT YOUR OPINION ON THIS.. even if it is just a sentence long!! girl i want to know what you would do please! i really dont want this to go wrong because of my friends ship with this person:
Yes it it me again.. the one who liked her bestfriend that was a year younger.. well i cant stop thinking about him... when im trying to go to sleep, he is there in my mind! and this morning in church i couldnt hardly focus on what our preacher was talking about because i kept thinking about him! this isnt good.. i have decided that i am going to tell him how i feel.. but i havent talked to him in 2 days.. i have no clue where he has been, maybe that is y he has been on my mind soo much! do u think that it is wrong for girls to make the move? i asked him about this a while back, and he said that he thinks guys should make the first move... but i dont think i can wait that long.. because knowing him, he likes to be shy about his feelings and not let anyone know how he feels. i am soo scared of how he will react to what i will tell him next time i talk to him, what if he freaks out and doesnt talk to me for a while? i wont know what to do, because then i will be thinking about him even more! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!! PLEASE!! shay*shay-you gave me some good advice last time... can you help me agian? please! i have never felt like this about a guy before.. ive always been the one guys come to and just tell me that they like me.. i dont know how to make the frist move either.. even if i did!
brownie* (link)
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It sounds like you are "obsessed" and that is not a good thing for you. Try to cool it a little. I know it may not help to say that, but do your best to think about other things and get a little distance from this.
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There is this boy that keeps calling me. He called me 5 times in 2 days and left a message asking me out for the whole world to hear. I told one of his friends to stop calling me..gently though. His friend was a little harsh and i don't think he likes me anymore. What should I do? (link)
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You told his friend that you didn't want him to call you. It is completely logical that he would leave you alone then, no matter how his friend put it. You can't have it both ways. I would just let it go.
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I am in love with this boy Joey. He is in 8th grade and I am in 6th and he will be leaving for high- school soon. I don't want him to leVE BUT i DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL HIM BEFORE HE LEAVES. i WANT TO HUG HIM AND TELL HIM HOW I REALLY FEEL BUT I DON'TR WANT TO BE EMBARRESED
WHAT SHOULD I DO? (link)
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I was going to say: I would hug him and tell him you will miss him. You may be embarrassed, but he will probably feel good about it.
But he may be too immature and react badly. So you can just not take the risk and like him from a distance.
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my boi likes me alot and i like him alot but i like someone eles also and he knows what should i do? (link)
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It sounds like you should not commit yourself to one boi. Keep you options open. Let him know you like him, but you are not ready for him to be "the only one."
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I want to go out with a guy!I love him but he only wants to be friends with me what should I do! I think he likes my friend and I am really confused? (link)
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If he only wants to be friends with you, then I would just be friends. You can't make someone like you in that way.
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I am caught in a love triangle I like 2 guys that go to my school they are both my friends but I don't know what to do Who should I choose. THe person my age or the 8th grader?Plese help (link)
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I think you should not choose. Why do you have too? Keep them both as friends.
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I like this guy named Joey and he is an 8th grader and I am a 6th grader and I really like him but I don't know what to do! People are like ask him out but I don't know what to say what should I do? (link)
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I think you are too young to ask a boy out in 6th grade. But that is just my opinion. Just keep liking him, and find other things to do besides "date" at what, eleven years old?
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i am really good friends with this guy. i never really thought about it, but he comes up to me one day and tells me that he likes me. now, dont get me wrong, but hes a really nice guy and i will feel really bad about saying no when he asks me out. worst of all, my neighbors are his aunt, uncle, and cousins. im basically in a loose-loose situation. what do i do?
(link)
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This is a very difficult situation. You are just going to have to tell him something like he is a nice guy and all, but you don't feel that way about him. Yes, he will probably be hurt, but what else are you going to do? You have my sympathy.
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at the dance s i always rejected this guy i know, but now i like him and he probably wont ask me. he has a girlfriend now, he went out with her to make me jealous, so he doesnt like her. what should i do? (link)
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Just ask him to dance. But be ready for the consequences from his other girlfriend.
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I like this boy named Robert. The only problem is he doesn't know. How can I tell him? The next problem is he doesn't know my name. I think I'm cursed. What should I do? (link)
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I bet he does know your name. Anyway, I would tell his friends that you like him. Then see what happens.
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i really like this guy. he's been really weird lately and says that he wont go out with anyone until hes in tenth grade. he did like me for a week, but he wont answer any of my friends about me. i want to stop liking him, but i just cant! i really like him! what should i do? (link)
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Either he just really doesn't feel the same way about you that you do about him, or he really doesn't want to go out with anyone at all right now. Either way, I would leave him alone. I don't think you will make the situation any better if you keep trying to get him to go out with you.
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There's this guy at school i like and he likes me. the problem is he has a girlfriend. he never liked her, but shes madly in love with him. i recently heard from his friend that he's dumping his girlfriend for me. but last week his girlfriend's friend yelled at me during PE and LA. If he does ask me out what should i say? either way i'm hurting someone. i really like this guy, though. should i say yes or no? (link)
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This is a classic love triangle. It is logical that his girlfriend would not like you. Depending on her personality, she will show it by yelling at you, or gossip, or other more unpleasant things. So I don't think you will be able to be friends with her unless she changes her feelings about the guy.
I would hesitate to say yes. If a guy dumps one girl to go out with another girl, that may be a sign of the way he will act with you later. I would say no, even though you like him.
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i posted this question earlier:
what do you do when u fall for you best friend? i know it sounds like the CLASSIC relationship question.. but i really dont know what to do! i have been best friends with this guy for 3 months.. that mite not sound like a long time... but we have grown really close in that time! i like him as more than a friend now and when he starts to talk about who i like... i dont know what to say! he says im shy.. and well i agree.. lol cause im not the foward type to just come out and tell someone that i like them... i dont want to ruin our friend ship by telling him how i feel, but what if he likes me 2 and he wants me to make the first move?? please someone help me..
and id like to thank everyone who answered.. but one more question on that subject.. we go to tha same school and im in 8th and he is in 7th... i know that shouldnt really matter, but ppl will make fun.. what should i do if we do get together and that happens? thanx tons (link)
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Be the first older girl - younger boy relationship in your school. Look at Demi Moore - there are a lot of examples lately in celebrities with the girl older.
Really, it shouldn't matter that much if you both like each other and people will get used to it if you ignore any dumb comments about the difference.
Besides, he may like the idea of an older girlfriend.
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my friend thinks it's funny that she's not doing her homework. Every time we try to talk to her, she doesn't listen. She's failing and i don't know wht to do. (link)
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She may be nervous and trying to avoid letting you know what is wrong. If she doesn't understand what is going on in school, she may not want to admit it. I think offereing to do homework together sounds like a good idea, and hopefully she will accept your offer. If you are really concerned you can bribe her - do homework together then something fun afterwards.
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ewwww.......I am constantly spitting out green mucus in a styrofoam cup as we speak...any thing that will get rid of it? Help! its so gross... (link)
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I would spit it out in a kleenex and throw it away instead of looking at it and getting grossed out.
Drink plenty of fluids, eat healthy, get enough sleep, and it will probably go away in a few days. If it doesn't then go to a doctor.
It is better that it is green than yellow. Green is an infection but may clear up without antibiotics. If it was yellow, I would say go to the doctor now.
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Well basically I'm really out of shape. I don't play any sports i don't take dance classes or things like that. And i would like to stay in shape even though it's really hard for me. Does any body know any excersises that i could do over a couple of minutes to keep me in shape? (link)
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I just recently read an article about excercises you can do sitting in front of your computer. (Prevention magazine, January edition) Let's see if I can remember some examples:
Stretching - twist from the waist, grabbing the back of the chair. Or back the chair away from the computer and stretch out your legs reaching for your toes.
Strengthening: Lift your body off the seat part way then sit back down. You can either support yourself by the arms of the chair or cross your arms over your chest. Do this several times.
Aerobics: Run in place sitting down. Lift your feet up and down. Do this for as long as you can.
This gives you the general idea. You can probably create a few of your own, as long as you don't hurt anything. "No pain, no gain" is not true.
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My friend hasn't been doing her homework and she has 6 zeros in the grade book. I'm afraid she is going to fail. What to do? (link)
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The most obvious answer is: ask her what is going on with her and why she has let her grades become so low. But, beyond the obvious, I think the best thing you can do is to encourage her. Point out the positive, where she is doing well, and set a good example by keeping your own grades up.
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I'm about as butch as the next girl. I don't shave anything, I hate make up, I have a mean left hook, I don't take any crap on the street. My husband is a sweetheart, I found a rare gem in him, but his bull dyke best friend hates me. I have tried EVERYTHING to befriend her. I have tried ignoring her, I don't know what else to do. She HATES me. She tells total strangers what a seething bitch I am (well, I am) and she has tried to break us up many times. She has even threatened me with physical violence. I don't tell him who to be friends with or not, but she just won't let up. It's making him take a 2nd look at his friendship with her, and I'm afraid he's going to leave her behind. What can I do? I think she may be jealous of me. Does she want him, or me, or both of us. She has a history of sleeping with his other girlfriends, but I'm not bi. I'm letting him sort this one out for himself, but I feel kinda bad about it.
Violet (link)
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I think you answered your own question. "I'm letting him sort this one out for himself." I can't imagine why he would want to be friends with someone who hated his wife. It would seem like a very difficult relationship.
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OK, Here's the deal. I kind of dated a guy a while back and when we stopped talking, I turned to his ex-girlfriend and found out a lot of stuff about him. It took so long to get over him and I can finally say that I AM OVER HIM for sure. Anway, his ex and I became confidants and we talked trash about him to each other all the time (ya know like girls do) and in a way, I really think that she's to be credited for me getting over him. Well, we were talking one night and I knew that the two of them had slept together when they were dating (they went out for like 2yrs.) and I told her that I was glad that I hadn't slept with him. He was her first and the only guy that she has slept with. She found out not too long ago that she has cervical cancer...she told me this and continued to inform me that her doctor had told her it was from HPV (the std). Ofcourse, she and I are both convinced that this guy is responsible for giving it to her (after all, he is the only guy that she has ever slept with). That's not my only problem: he has no idea that she has cancer and she is sooo scared to tell him. He and I share a mutual friend and that friend just happens to be my best friend (the two of them on the other hand hardly ever talk). So here's where the advice comes in, "our" friend knows about the cancer thing with the girl (he knows her too) and he has been on MY back about it ever since he found out (an accident by the way)...he wants me to tell the guy that he is carrying HPV and that his ex has cancer. I KNOW that he needs to know but why should I have to tell him??? I haven't even seen the guy in six months, he's dating someone now and chances are they're sleeping together. I would hate for someone else to get a venerial disease just because this guy is the selfish slug of a man that he is but i don't know what to do....PLEASE HELP! (link)
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It is really the responsibility of his ex-girlfriend, your friend, to tell him. In fact, why hasn't she? She doesn't have to tell him she has cancer, but she should tell him that she got an std and he was her only partner.
The other problem is that all of this is just what your friend has told you. I don't think she would lie about this, but she in the one with all the first hand information, not you.
I would tell your friend that she is being irresponsible by not telling him, instead of telling him yourself.
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