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I am in a group of 4 girls. They are always complaining about being fat(because they are very "womanly" with well defined hips) and point at me and my other friend(aka.May) saying we are sticks whitch we aren't. I am like 5'9" and 127-130lbs and May is 5'9" and 125-128lbs. We both don't look like a "woman" we don't have hips our like an 'hour glass' shape we have more of a boys body i guess you could say.
My question is are my friends actually fat?
Meg: 5'6" and 136lbs
Sara: 5'5" and 140lbs
IDK why i need to know i just do. Its been bothering me and i need to show them that they aren't fat. They won't beilieve me or May. (link)
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Height and weight alone don't tell anything. By the standard BMI chart, most Olympic athletes are obese, because muscle weighs more than fat.
But that's not the point. If they're complaining about being fat, and it's getting on your nerves, tell them to please stop doing it. If they continue, then you might point out how studies have shown that bitching and moaning does not burn a significant amount of calories (look at the size of Rush Limbaugh or Michael Moore, and you can see that's true).
If I were you, I'd suggest to them that the four of you get into an exercise program together. It'll be something fun for you all to do, it's healthy, and they can stop worrying about being fat and start doing something about it.
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Okay so my 2 friends *girls* told me that theyve kissed before.. and then one of them was like trying to get me to kiss her.. but without me noticing.. and a while ago i asked the other one about it and she said yah she like wanted to kiss you.. Its been 4 months since they told me and im really curious what itd be like to kiss a girl.. I like really want to all of a suddon..:S
please help me:)
Thank you (link)
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I can personally say that I've kissed a few girls and found it thoroughly enjoyable. I have no idea how I'd feel about it if I were a girl myself, however. :)
By all means, go for it. But before you try to satisfy your curiosity, you might want to make sure they weren't just yanking your chain. It isn't that big a deal, but it can BECOME a big deal if someone decides to make it one, and before you know it you've been unfairly labeled.
They say they've kissed each other before? I suggest you ask them to prove it before you tell them you want to try it yourself. And keep Murphy's Law firmly in mind - make sure you're not in a situation where someone might walk in on you at EXACTLY the wrong moment!
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if i were to purchase an anti-nazi t-shirt, and wore it out, would i get dirty looks off people? like in the street, from ordinary people, not nazi's? (link)
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It strikes me that wearing an anti-Nazi shirt would be kind of like holding up a sign that says, "I don't like to be kicked in the neck." It's kind of taken for granted that a person feels that way unless they specifically state otherwise.
I wonder why you would bother. It's not like there's a need to raise awareness about the Nazi problem; most people are pretty much on the same page with it already. If you have a personal problem with Nazism, such as a family member who was victimized by them, then there's probably a more constructive way to express it than by wearing a T-shirt.
Furthermore, the only people who ARE going to respond to your T-shirt are the ones who are offended by it; that is, those who actually are Nazis or something similar. This is not a group of people known for kindness and reason. Certainly we should not submit to such groups as the Nazi Party when we are threatened by them, but really, why tease the animals?
By wearing such a shirt, you would basically be pissing off any Nazi you might meet, and galvanizing them to take action. I guess I just don't see the point.
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Ok my hard drive is all of a sudden like buzzing on random moments like a bee. I don't if i should do soemthing about it or what? (link)
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This is a good sign that it's about to break.
Hard drives work with a very high degree of precision. There is a magnetic read head which is suspended only micrometers above the platter surface; if this read head is knocked even a tiny bit out of alignment, it can make intermittent contact with the platter. The buzzing noise you're hearing is the sound of this happening while the platter spins at up to 7200 rpm.
Backup your data immediately, and start shopping for a new hard drive. This one's on its last legs.
NOTE: It may not be the hard drive. It may be the fan. Listen carefully to be sure; if it's the fan, then you can probably fix it with a puff or two from a can of canned air, and save yourself some money.
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I am 42 and I just recently got married to a woman I have known my entire life but we both got married to other people shortly after high school. She has three teenage daughters Sam is 19 Meagan is 18 and Audree is 16. Their father left them shortly after my wife had her youngest daughter and so she has raised them all by herself. They have always been pretty affluent because my wife's family has quite a bit of money and she is a magazine editor. She lets the girls get away with murder and they get everything rthey could possibly even dream of wanting. I have a very big issue with this since my three sons (19 18 aand 17) are expected to follow very strict rules. I was in the army for several years and my children are expected to abide by my rules or face the consequences.
The girls however are completely out of control, especially the youngest one, Audree. My wife and i both agreed on a curfew for the all six kids when they moved in. She convinced me to change the curfew of my sons to be midnight for all of the kids. I agreed but with hesitation. Like always before my kids have always gotten here on time or before their curfew while her daughters completely disregard the rules. For example, Audree was late for curfew 4 times out of the 7 days last week. My wife didn't even talk to her about it. When i confronted her al she said was "She is only 16. I think we should just let her live her life." I found out the other day that her girls have never been grounded, never had acurfew, and are very open about teh fact that they go to parties and drink. Sam has gotten in 4 accidents since she has lived here, and Meagan has her boyrfriend over all the time without supervision, all things i dont tolerate from my own kids. Audree came home in tears the other night because she got a ticket for driving 19 MILES OVER THE SPEED LIMIT! My wife just hugged her and tried to calm ehr down the entire night and i never heard a single word about the ticket, which i had to pay for sicne none of her kids have jobs. I almost feel as if she is condoning this outrageous behavior since she never repremands her kids. I don't know how to explain to my kids about thsi double standard in our house but i feel like i can't interfere quite yet with her disiplining (or lack there of)since i am not their real father and have only been in their lives for 3 years. I just don't know how much more of this disrepect i can take from them. They are beautiful girlsand i love them like my own. I wish i could treat them this way though. I feel like i owe it to them to lay down the law and punsih them for things like curfew and partying and bad grades but i dont know if it will just put more stress on our relationship that could eventually cause tension between my wife and I. How should i handle this? (link)
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I can only imagine what this is like for you, having never been in a similar situation myself.
This much is clear, however: you won't be able to do anything on your own. The girls have absolutely no reason to listen to you or give your disciplinary measures any weight as long as their mother does nothing. They know that they can always go to her and receive a get-out-of-jail-free card, so why should they bother worrying about what you think?
They're in desperate need of discipline, that's for certain. Unfortunately, 16 years of lax parenting has done its damage, and it will be very difficult to undo at this stage of their lives. Since you are still a relative newcomer, they're likely to blame you for what they will see as unreasonable demands and intrusions into their lives. Finally, the 18 and 19 year old are both legal adults and there is a limit to what you can do about them; you can insist on a curfew, but you have no real means of enforcing it, since as a legal matter they can be out as late as they want.
In order to have any effect on these girls whatsoever, you need to get their mother on the same page with you. That is a fact, and if she won't do it you may as well give up on the matter, because nothing you do on your own will make the slightest difference.
In the case of the older two girls, you're limited in your tactics due to the fact that they don't have to live under your roof; they can go off on their own any time they want to (though how they'll survive I have no idea). Actually, the most effective course of action may be to kick them out - in which case you will have gained two very bitter enemies who will use your relationship with their mother to retaliate. Furthermore, if you use other tactics on the sixteen-year-old (who you do have some measure of control over), she will resent it and likewise turn against you.
So, what can you do? In the end, the sad answer may be "nothing". But there is one thing that might do a little bit of good.
I suggest you talk with each of the girls, one on one, and see if you can give them the benefit of a little wisdom. Address the problems that they're all having as a result of their behavior, or the problems that they're GOING to have, and see if you can get them to at least think about whether that's the way they should be living their lives (fortunately, you've got no shortage of bad examples to point to in the media: Paris Hilton, Linsdey Lohan, Britney Spears, Nicole Richie, etc.). Maybe they'll blow you off; maybe it won't do any good. But at least you'll have given them fair warning for what's coming, which is that Life is going to give each of them a major wake-up call someday.
And, it goes without saying that you should be careful not to let your boys be affected by this, if at all possible. Fortunately, they should be able to see for themselves the consequences of having no self-discipline, and it shouldn't be hard to keep them on the right path. They'll probably be thanking you for raising them right after all is said and done.
When it does come down to disciplining the girls, there are some effective measures you can probably take. I'm assuming they have access to a car, or that they each have their own vehicles. However, if the title is in yours or your wife's name, you can take away the keys. If you're paying their cell phone bill, you can cancel that account. If they get some kind of allowance, you can cut it off.
These things may or may not be effective, but they will definitely NOT work if you and your wife are not working together. If she's undermining your efforts to discipline the girls, then nothing you do will ever have any effect.
Someday, these girls are going to go too far, and when they do you AND their mother need to be united - or they will divide you. If it comes down to a choice, odds are your wife will choose her children over you. You need to show your wife that by setting necessary limits and making them face certain consequences, she IS choosing the welfare of her children. If she can't understand that, then I suggest that for the sake of your own kids and your own sanity, you end the marriage on your own terms.
It's a terrible situation. Best of luck to you and your family.
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I'm not sure what subject this was supposed to go under but here goes. In september i'll be turning 19 and i want to throw a party. i was in hospital for my 18th and couldn't walk for months afterwards so i couldn't celebrate. so i want to throw a big party for my 19th but i don't know what to do. does anyone have any cool themes or ideas?
Thanks in advance! (link)
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Depending on how well you've recovered by now, it would be appropriate to do something you were unable to do for a long time - something active, in other words. Perhaps you might do an outdoor party and set up a volleyball net and barbecue, have some good dance music playing, and ceremonially burn a pair of crutches or something.
Another idea might be to do an "18 again" party. In other words, do the entire party as if it IS your eighteenth birthday, and really make an issue of it. Get plates and decorations that say "18!", put 18 candles on a cake shaped like the number 18. Watch the movie "18 again" with Geroge Burns. You didn't REALLY miss your eighteenth birthday - you're just having it a little late! (Next year, though, go ahead and be 20, or people will think you're weird.)
Anyway, those are two ideas. Happy birthday!
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I became depressed and never liked myself because of who I am I want to run away from every one to keep them away from my depression. But I couldn’t hold it in, I told them what was wrong and they said I should tell Lara how I feel. I deny it for 7 years to not tell her but it got to the point that I was about to blow! So I told Lara that I am bi sexual and I am in love with her. Lara was in shocked but stayed there by my side to listen to me. She respected me and will try to help me as much as she can.
After I told Lara how I felt 10 months ago I went to a party and met this guy, nothing happen but I told Lara about it. She then got mad, she said she was not sure to be happy for me or pissed. I didn’t understand what she meant.
I told her that I am moving on and you are not making it easy on me. And she said she was jealous because she didn’t want to drift apart from our friendship and was afraid that we won’t be close anymore. She told me that she was jealous of my last two boyfriends in the year of high school. I told Lara that the reason why I went out with them is because I want to get over her and move on. And that’s why I want to move away to rethink my thoughts. She ask me why I liked her and I told I don’t know (and that’s truth).
I got mad at Lara because it sounded like she like me back and I didn’t want her to (even thou I do wish it)
Because I don’t think I can be good in a relationship because of me not believing in myself.
I told Lara that but she didn’t respond to it.
Everything is fine with me and her now.
But I am wondering…
Did she like me back more than a friend or was she afraid of losing our friendship?
And
What does she mean “we won’t be close anymore”?
(The only thing of close I can think of is that she leans on me and holds me sometimes for no reason)
And
How can u fall for someone and you don’t know why u is?
(link)
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There are three things that need to happen in this situation, and they need to happen in order. DON'T skip to step three without doing one and two first, or you'll only cause more hurt and pain all around!
(1) You need to stop hating yourself (or disliking yourself) over your sexuality. Until you do that, you shouldn't even try to have a relationship with another woman; it's not fair to her to have to live with your guilt and depression over it.
(2) You need to decide exactly how you feel about Lara, and what you would want from a relationship with her. Do you want something long-term? Is this a fling, or is it serious? Do you envision yourself being married to a man someday, meaning that you would inevitably have to break it off with her? Do you think your friendship will survive that? You don't need all the answers to these questions, but you need to be thinking about them. As long as you both DO and DON'T want her to like you back, any relationship with her - including your friendship - is doomed.
(3) Have you done steps one and two yet? Make sure you do before proceeding!
Here's step three: Have a truth-session with Lara. You need to answer her question concerning WHY you like her; when you say, "I don't know," it's hurtful because it's like saying there's nothing particularly special about her, it's just how you feel. Think about it carefully, and you'll come to some answers. Think about why you fell for HER, and not some other girl. What does she do that stirs your emotions? People like to imagine that love is mysterious and that we can never really know why it happens, but that's only as true as you make it. There ARE reasons why we fall in love with certain people and not others.
This truth-session needs to go both ways. She needs to be clear on how she feels about you. It's possible she considers you as a best friend without wanting further intimacy; it's also possible that she feels something for you that you clearly do for her, but she's even more uncomfortable with it that you are.
You say, "Everything is fine", so maybe you don't want to re-open this can of worms. If you are truly over her, and you are content with things the way they are, then let sleeping dogs lie.
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14/f
I'm a flirt, and I love being with guys and just being out there and fun. But the problem is..I've never really made out with a guy. Everytime I get the opportunity, I just clench up and kindof freak out. It's kindof like I don't know what to do, and I just don't wanna deal with it. Most people don't believe that I haven't been to THIRD, let alone first. Am I prude for being like this? I don't know what to do, cause everytime I could hook up with someone I feel all shaky and strange. (link)
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You're fourteen. Give it time.
I'd say that your feelings are perfectly normal, including the apprehension. Don't rush these things! It isn't a race to see who can advance the bases the fastest; physical intimacy is something you should do at your own pace, and at your own comfort level. I'd say that at this age, you're probably ready for serious kissing, and not much more.
Do it for the right reasons - don't do it just so you can say you did. You want your first kiss to be something memorable, not something you did just to get it over with.
Don't label yourself. You are certainly not a "prude" just because no one's felt you up yet. If you get to be 21 years old and still haven't kissed anyone, then you might want to re-evaluate, but for the moment you're on the right path. Those who get start getting sexual too early tend to eventually regret it - there's evidence of that all over this website!
So take your time. There really is no rush.
Incidentally, depending on how you define "third base", it might actually be illegal for a guy to go there with someone your age. You might want to check the local laws on that before you encourage some poor guy to commit a back-seat felony. Use Google, and look up "Age of Consent" for your state.
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Hey
i have so many pop ups. i deleted lime wire and there still there.
Please help. but dont send me a link bc i suck at technoligiy. i would really appriate a step by step help!
plus my firewall is on!!
weird i know!!
Thanks
xx (link)
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When you delete LimeWire, the adware that causes pop-ups doesn't get deleted with it. That stuff is still on your system, causing problems. There is a way to get rid of it, however, and there are things you can do to prevent this kind of infestation in the future:
(1) Download and install AdAware (http://www.lavasoftusa.com/) and Spybot Search & Destroy (http://www.safer-networking.org/en/mirrors/index.html). Run these programs to scan your computer for spyware, adware, and similar items. Do this once a month to keep your computer clean.
(2) Download and install Mozilla Firefox (http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/firefox/), if you haven't already. Use this instead of Internet Explorer.
(3) Install some kind of anti-virus program, if you haven't already. The most popular ones are McAfee and Norton, both of which cost money (of the two, I'd recommend McAfee). However, there is also a free anti-virus program available by AVG (http://free.grisoft.com/), and it works very well. You can pay to upgrade it if you want a more comprehensive package.
(4) Avoid file-sharing programs like Limewire or Morpheus, if you can. They aren't really "free"; they are paid for by the ads which are loaded onto your computer along with the software.
(5) Definitely avoid clicking on website ads for contests, free coupons, downloadable icons or "smilies", and that sort of thing. You really don't need that garbage on your computer, and it's an open invitation for spyware.
(6) If you see a pop-up offering to scan your computer for viruses or a warning that your system may be infected, close it at the "X" in the upper right corner. NEVER click "OK" on these kinds of pop-ups! They claim to remove spyware from your system, but in reality they install it.
(7) Keep sensitive information OFF your computer; things like credit card numbers, social security numbers, or anything else you wouldn't want to become public knowledge. If someone does manage to hack into your system, it's better if there's nothing for them to find.
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My parents are really starting to get to me now.. as they have been all my life! This time its about me getting a job im 14 nearly 15 and i told them i want a job but i want a proper job such as in a shop or at a restaurant up the road from me. But because they are not employing any people because they have enough staff at the moment my mum keeps saying how some of my grans friends want there hoovering done!!! I dont want to do old grannys hoovering for a job, but my parents say if you want the money you will not be fussy, they also said you will do what you are told juring this summer holiday meaning basically i HAVE to!!
They are really annoying me, i just wan tto be left alone and to make my own desitions not have them make for me! *I even said next year when im 16 i can leave home and they dont even care they just said well good you will learn the hard way!
please help GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (link)
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At the age of fourteen, you can't get a "proper job". No one is going to hire a fourteen-year-old with zero experience in a customer service position, where you are responsible for dealing with monetary transactions and representing the business to the public. Why should they? There are people older and more experienced than you who they can choose to hire instead. If you were hiring, would you take the 14-year-old with no job history at all, or the 16-year-old who has a list of satisfied customers from his lawn-mowing service?
I don't think your parents are being unreasonable at all, to tell you the truth. It seems to me that your mother offered you help in getting a job, and you threw it in her face. Hoovering for old grannies is where you start! Do good work for them, and their letters of recommendation will get you the "proper job" you want. Act like that kind of work is beneath you, and you project exactly the sort of attitude that will keep you from getting hired anywhere.
The reason why your parents are telling you what you have to do, and not letting you make your own decisions, is that you are making poor decisions. Yes, you can leave home when you're 16, but have you considered what your source of income is going to be if you're not willing to take the work that is available to you? Do you intend to simply stop eating if you can't get the job you want?
If you really do want to become independent, start laying the groundwork now. Take the work you can get, make some money and get a list of references going, then go after the "real" job when you can prove to the hiring manager that you're capable of doing good work.
I doubt this advice is making you happy, but please consider it carefully. If you want to be treated like an adult, you need to stop acting like a child. Responsible adults work for their money, and they do what needs to be done. When you say you're leaving home at sixteen but you show none of the initiative to do what it takes to make a living, you are basically throwing a tantrum. If that's your strategy for success, then your parents are right about one more thing: you're going to learn a lot of life lessons the hard way.
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so there's this guy, and we like each other. we also liked each other a long time ago. well we both recently got out of relationships. and we are going to a movie tomorrow and we decided that we're going to make out. first of all, will it be awkward to make out in a movie theatre because of the seat angles? advice on that please! and also, how do i tell him i don't want to commit to anything just now..i'm worried he'll ask me to be his girlfriend. thanks! (link)
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Here's how you tell him that you're not prepared to commit to anything right now: IN ADVANCE. Make sure he realizes up front that you don't want to go exclusive just yet. He won't be able to accuse you of leading him on if you're clear from moment one that this date is about seeing a movie and making out, not about long-term commitment.
Now, if he DOES ask you to be his girlfriend, you simply need to be honest with him. Don't shoot him down or blow his hopes out of the water; I assume that you aren't opposed to the idea of SOMEDAY becoming his girlfriend (and if it really never will happen, that's something else you need to tell him in advance). So, just tell him the truth - that you're both coming out of relationships and you want to be careful not to rush into anything else too soon.
Incidentally, when making out in a movie theater, keep the following in mind: you're in a public place. It may be a dark public place, but it's public all the same. Be aware that some people will decide that your show is better than the one on-screen, and some people may be bothered by it and have you kicked out. Either one is pretty embarrassing and won't do anything to help your new relationship. As far as how "easy" it is, it's really not hard at all; just sit in the back row, flip the armrest up, try not to spill the popcorn, and keep it QUIET - remember that there are some people there who actually want to watch the movie! If there's anyone sitting within twenty feet of you, find a less crowded theater.
And be careful about how far you go. I would suggest that if you're not going to commit, you shouldn't go much past heavy kissing and petting through clothes (for that matter, anything more than that is just not appropriate in public). Put it this way: as long as you have an open relationship, he's going to assume that whatever you're willing to do with him is something you're willing to do with other guys too. Lose control, and you could find yourself with a reputation you don't want.
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After many people have told me that I should keep doing what I am doing, (posing as a 13 year old girl on chat sites, tracking and logging potential sexual predators), I have decided to keep doing it.
I even started a website about it, and I modeled it after, perverted-justice.com. On my site, I show the chat conversations and I give the predator's MSN screen name.
Some people have told me it's wrong to give out these people's MSN addresses. Someone even said I could get into a lot of trouble, or arrested for it. But shouldn't I be allowed to put potential predator's screen names up to warn people? They're the ones that started talking to an alleged 13 year old. What do you think? (link)
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There's something important to consider here.
It is entirely possible to take a registered domain name and look it up on any number of databases, and find out not only exactly who owns it, but the owner's home address and phone number as well. I say this because it's entirely possible that you may "out" a very dangerous person someday, and they may choose to retaliate.
If you want to do some good against online predators, team up with a site like perverted-justice and work with them, not on your own. People can do more good against this sort of thing when they work together.
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Well I know what shallow is, but i wanted a real good definitions and some examples and situations of shallowness. and how shallow peopel act. Im not sure if im shallow or not. - thanks. (link)
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Shallow people tend to have the following characteristics:
(1) They are self-interested, and disinterested in that which does not directly affect them.
(2) They are uneducated and out of touch with that which really matters; most of what they know and talk about is unimportant and frivolous.
(3) They sneer at people with genuine depth of character.
(4) They often pursue popularity for its own sake.
(5) They value unimportant qualities in other people, such as physical appearance or unearned social standing.
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Alright. I have a huge situation, I have this ex boyfriend named nate. and he does alot of hard core drugs since we broke up. and i cant help but try too talk too him and help him. but i mean he wont stop! hes soo additiced he cant control it. He also drinks alot too. and i need help too comfort him!!!
♥Haley (link)
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If you want to save his life, there is only one way to do it: blow the whistle on him.
You won't be able to help on your own. Drug addiction is not something that people can be talked out of, or convinced to give up. It is a disease - a self-inflicted disease, but a disease nonetheless. If he can be helped at all, it will be through the concentrated efforts of friends, family, and doctors, NOT by you alone.
You must inform his parents. Today. Right now, if possible. It may help if you have your parents with you, just in case they choose not to believe you; you might need supportive adults on your side.
Maybe he'll hate you for it, at first. But he'll have a chance to stay alive, and that's worth it. In time, if he is successful at beating this thing, he'll come to realize that your actions were necessary to save his life.
And he may not beat it; he may die. If that happens, you don't want to live with the fact that you knew what he was into and told no one about it.
Bottom line: Don't try to do this alone. You will fail.
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There is this quy from work who without any doupt in my mind is attracted to me and has deep feelings for me. The problem is he hasn't asked me out. Sometimes i get the feeling that he does really like me as more than a friend but other times he acts more like just a friend. Some days he's very attentive and caring and other days he's indifferent. By his body language, eye contact, and the way his friend from work treats me i know he's crazy about me. So why then hasn't he asked me out? Do you think he's waiting for me to make the first move? (link)
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There could be a whole host of reasons. Maybe he's shy. Maybe he has a girlfriend already and feels guilty about being attracted to you. Maybe he's waiting for some kind of "right moment." Maybe he just doesn't think it's smart to ask out someone from work.
I think if you want something to happen, you're going to need to rattle his cage a little. Try asking him to join you for lunch sometime. Lunch is good because it's not really a "date", but it gives you the chance to have a little one-on-one time with him.
If he doesn't ask you out then, he's probably not going to. And if he isn't sufficiently attracted to you to get over whatever's in his way and ask you out, it's probably not worth it.
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I really like my best friend Jacey's boyfriend, Tom, So what do I do? (link)
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Best friends' boyfriends are off-limits. To consider him otherwise would be disrespectful to your friend.
The sole exception to this rule is if you feel you are truly in love with him - not wow-he's-cute love, but genuine I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-him love. If that is the case, then you need to tell your friend about it - and be prepared to lose her over it.
That's what's at stake if you pursue this guy in any way. That's what your risking if you reveal your feelings. It's not worth it for "really like".
Now, depending on how strong Jacey and Tom's relationship is, and depending on how close you are with Jacey, it might be safe to tell her about your feelings for him even if it's not real love. That's a judgment call that only you can make. But err on the side of caution! In an ideal world, friends can tell each other anything, but we live in reality and she could be seriously upset by such a revelation. Consider very carefully whether it's best to spill the beans or hold your tongue.
Real friends are few and far between. Think hard before you risk losing one.
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Further response, based on feedback:
If your attraction to Tom is something you told her about once before, then she is probably still aware of it. However, under such circumstances, it probably wouldn't hurt to tell her that your feelings haven't changed. Make sure you stress that you would never try to "steal" him away from her or otherwise stab her in the back, but that as a friend you feel that you need to be honest with her about this.
Best-case scenario: she decides that you and Tom makes more sense than Jacey and Tom, and essentially steps aside. Of course, don't forget that Tom also has a say in all this, and he may simply not feel the same way about you as you do about him.
Keep it honest, and keep it above board. No one should be able to blame you for having feelings. Actions are what count, and as long as you act honorably, you're being a good friend.
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Well me and my ex after we broke up we were still talking. and then after awhile we didn't talk for a year. And then out of the blue he starts talking to me again and like i still ahve feelings for him deep inside of me things that make like i can't stop thinking about him. and then one night he calls me and was like baby i love u ur the 1 that makes mi heart go crazy and was like making me feel like some1 realy cared about me that much
so he was like i'm going 2 call you like 2marrow or the next day but it's been like 3 weeks and he never called me. and wen i looked at his myspace he's always talking 2 gurls. But wen he's on and no1 ealse is on like mi profile view's go up like 20 views up. i mean i have these feeling wear i can't stop thinking about him.
can people help me like with things like 2 help me talk 2 him are things 2 do in my situation? (link)
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When a guy says he's going to call, and then doesn't, the reason is usually one of the following three things:
(1) There was some kind of genuine emergency that prevented him from doing it.
(2) He's so nervous, he can't bring himself to do it.
(3) He's blowing you off.
It doesn't seem to me like #1 is the explanation, because apparently he has time to go on myspace. I also doubt that he's too nervous, again because you have history and he has no reason to be THAT scared to call you. So, he's blowing you off.
I think he needs to be called out on it. It's inconsiderate of him to rekindle something like this and then shut it down. I think the time has come for you to call him and say something like, "You said you were going to call the next day. Then you didn't for three weeks. Are you trying to hurt my feelings, or are you just being thoughtless?"
Here's what I think is really going through his head: I think he's afraid he said too much in the heat of the moment during that last phone call, and he's having second thoughts about whether he wants to start this relationship again. So, he's spending time looking at your myspace page and thinking about you, he's talking to other girls and comparing them to you, and in the midst of all this he's probably completely lost sight of the fact that three weeks have passed since he said he would call. I'd STILL call that a blow-off, even though it's not a malicious one. He's still thinking only about his own feelings and not considering yours, so you have every reason to be upset.
If you want to get some results out of him, then put it in his terms. Guys like things to be straightforward and clear, so you need to give him something of an ultimatum. If he wants to get back together with you, then (presumably) that's something you're willing to talk about. If he's not, then he needs to avoid things like calling you, feeding you some lines, and then clamming up for a month while he thinks about whether he really meant it. It's not fair for him to play games with you that way.
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if your boyfriend cant get it up does it mean hes not attracted to you?
also if he cums real fast, will he ever get better? (link)
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(1) The most likely reason that he can't get it up is nervousness. If he weren't attracted to you, the relationship probably wouldn't have reached the point where the state of his erection would matter. In addition, you wouldn't be having the second problem you describe.
(2) Climaxing too fast is a result of inexperience and, again, nervousness. He's probably just too agitated to take it slow. This is something that will probably improve over time. Women almost always take longer to reach orgasm than men; he just needs to be willing to put in that time and make sure that your needs are being met. Help him by giving him guidance on what feels good to you. Also, consider that just because he's fired off one shot, it doesn't mean he's done. Next time he's early to the finish line, see if you can work him up for another lap.
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Don't get me wrong, I love my mum and she's not a bad parent but...
Well it's just us, and she has barely any friends and no one to vent out anger onto. So when she's feeling angry (Which isn't very often don't worry) she vents it all onto me. She'll yell at me for the littliest things, ground me and send me to my room. If I try to defend myself...she hits me.
She's been angry lately and I'm scared she'll hit me. She's been saying threats like one day she'll grab ahold of my throat and won't stop until I pass out and I'm getting scared to just do anything. I get really apologetic and apologize for the littliest things.
I can't talk her out of it because any word that comes out of my mouth she yells at me and gets even angrier. She seems to think that because she's the adult and I'm the child I don't get an opinion or the right to say something.
What do I do? When I tell my dad he thinks I'm just saying it because Mum and I are in a fight. I don't trust teachers or councillors and I don't want my mum to get into trouble. (link)
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My sincere condolences for your situation. No one should have to go through what you're going through.
You must take action. This cannot be allowed to continue as it has been. Here is what is at stake:
(1) Your life. People who cannot control their anger are inherently dangerous, and your mother apparently has this problem. The day may come when she hits you just a little too hard.
(2) Your relationship with your parents. Unless this problem is solved, you will grow up resenting or even hating them (and you will have reason to do so). A good relationship between an adult child and his/her parents is a wonderful and valuable thing, and should be salvaged if possible.
(3) Your own children, when you have them. It is a fact that kids who are abused often become abusers themselves.
You are the one who will have to make the call insofar as how much actual danger you're in. If you are fearful for your heath and safety right now, then it may be necessary - no matter how much it scares you to do so - to get outside help. If you don't trust your teachers or councilors, consider whether there is any other adult out there that you can trust. Remember, though, that a school official is required by law to report instances of abuse - if you tell one of your teachers, then something WILL be done about it.
If you do not feel that you are in immediate danger at this time, then there is an alternative. From what you're saying, it seems to me that you are trying to deal with the matter during the heat of the moment, right when your mother is angry or immediately after she's had a blow-up. Try approaching both your parents about it, together, when the situation is calm. Your mother may be in a more receptive frame of mind and better able to see that she's hurting you; and if you're not actually having a fight, your dad won't be able to blow it off as such. Approach the matter with as much calm and maturity as you can; screaming accusations will not help, and neither will sobbing uncontrollably. It may very well be the hardest thing you've ever had to do, but it must be done.
If nothing gets better, then it's definitely time to go outside your family to get help - but no one will be able to say you didn't try to work things out first.
Your only other alternative is to simply deal with it until you're old enough to move out. Before you decide to go that route, though, look again at the list of what's at stake and think hard about whether it is worth the risk.
You have my sympathies. Best of luck to you.
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Is it appropriate to wear a bright red dress
to a wedding?
The wedding is a formal evening wedding. The
dress is a simple sleeveless dress. It has a
scoop neckline and shows just a little, but
not a lot of cleavage. I would wear it to other
formal events, just not sure if its appropriate
for a wedding. (link)
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Red is a bright, celebratory color and is entirely appropriate for a wedding. The one color you don't want to wear to a wedding is white, as that is viewed as an attempt to upstage the bride.
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