I think I have insomnia, I swear. I get really tired at night, but I cant fall asleep until 3 AM and I go to bed at like 10! Someone help..I dont know what to do. My mom doesnt really believe me.
Oh I SO hear you. I'm going to give you some suggestions my doctor gave me that work for most people and hopefully you'll have more luck with them than I did.
Only use your bed for sleeping, that way you'll only associate it with that. Don't read on it or do homework or sit around, just sleep. When you lie down at night, if you don't fall asleep within half an hour, get up. Get OUT of bed and, say, read for fifteen minutes. Go back to bed and repeat. That way your body will come to associate your bed with sleeping and hopefully learn to obey.
Also, try relaxing exercises, like clenching each muscle starting from your head down and then releasing it.
What I found to help too, is very funny sounding, but it works for me. I choose something--adjectives, songs, bands, tv shows--anything like that, and for each letter of the alphabet, I try to come up with a word. For instance, if I used tv shows, I could do "Alice I Think, Bones, Corner Gas, Degrassi . . ." and so on. It keeps me concentrating on that and nothing else. If you're not a literary person, you might have better luck with counting slowly to yourself, or multiplication tables.
It really is a pain in the butt, isn't it? I'm on meds and I'm a lot better than I used to be, combined with the alphabet games, but I still sometimes have trouble.
Good luck, though! I'm sure you'll find something that works; just keep trying.
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Well i dont know if this goes in this catagory but here i go. i have been taking ballet since i was 3 1/2 years old. i am now 13 so i have been dancing ballet for a long time. my ballet teacher said that i am now accepted to take the demi-pointe class, but two problems.
1.I take basketball twice a week and i am not allowed to quit.
2. it will cost alot of money and i dont come from a rich family.
what should i do? please help me.
Is there any chance you could help teach some of the young kids or otherwise help with classes in return for free or less-expensive lessons?
Why aren't you allowed to quit basketball? If you think it's unreasonable, talk it out with your parents, but stay calm above all else so they'll continue to listen to you.
I would be inclined to discuss the first option because it would still incorporate your love of dance, plus it's really fun to help teach others about something you care about!
Otherwise, you might be able to make a few dollars with a paper route or doing chores for people, but those aren't exactly great options, and they're rather time-consuming.
Good luck, I really hope it works out for you. And congratulations on your accomplishment! You should be very proud.
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My mom used to be very thin. Not too thin, but a little below average. Now she's gaining weight. She's a little above average now..and it makes me sad every time I see her eat something because I see it happening. She won't exercise or diet though. She cares, but she doesn't care enough to do anything about it.
Is there any way that I can do anything about this? She is very sensitive and would be offended if I mentioned anything about her weight.
You sound like you really care about your mom, so hopefully that means you're not embarrassed to be seen with her. ;0)
Maybe you could try going for walks together? It would be less about being active and more about "you time" but it would still get her moving. Or, if there's a sport you both like, maybe you could play--volleyball, basketball, baseball, tennis, badminton? Some local high schools or sports centres will offer cheap use of their equipment a certain night of the week, so it would be a fun thing. Maybe even swimming?
Are you old enough to do some cooking, or even suggest healthier food? You could say that you're trying to be healthier yourself, and even if it's not strictly true, being healthy is always good.
Good luck. I think it's awesome that you're concerned about her.
One other thing--you say she's sensitive. Have you seen any signs of depression? I know that a lot of people are sensitive without having mental health problems, but over-eating can sometimes be indicative of emotional difficulties.
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For entertainment purposes I'd rather tweeze the hairs on my legs than shave because it passes the time and also gets the hair at its root. Could this pose a health problem?
I do the same sometimes (although I still shave, just tweeze when I'm bored). It should be fine UNLESS you find yourself obsessed with it; then it could be a sign of trichotillomania. If you're not obsessed, you should be fine. Just like waxing really, except it takes a lot longer.
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now this isn't for weight loss or anything. i am in pretty good shape. but i was wondering if it's possible to pull a muscle in your stomach. because if i stretch, like tilt my back back, i can't because it hurts soooooo bad. it's not cramps or anything. so i was wondering if i did pull it, how can i like make it better pretty much, and if it's not what is it and how can i make it better
If it feels the same as other pulled muscles, then it's probably a pulled muscle. Treat it the same as you would other pulled muscles.
This site might help:
http://www.healthsquare.com/mc/fgmc0731.htm
If it lasts very long, or if you're really worried, definitely see a doctor. Better to be safe than sorry.
Hope you feel better soon!
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Is Anxiety different from stress or depression? and How?
Anxiety is substantially different. Depending on its severity, it can range from feelings of nervousness to a full out panic attack. Anxiety has nothing to do with being depressed--when you're depressed you're sad--and little to do with stress. It's all about feeling anxious or nervous or scared.
Hopefully that's what you wanted to know? If not, let me know and I'll elabourate.
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Is the book Lovely Bones a good book? I just want to know if its worth reading.
It's decent. It's kind of a neat concept, but the ending really disappointed me (which I of course won't give away).
But that's just my opinion of course!
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Hey, does getting your cartilage pierced hurt? If i were to get mine done, I would go to Piercing Pagoda, where they use a gun. Also, I might have to take it out after about 4 or 5 weeks to play softball, but I would put it back in right away. Would it close up after being outs for about 3 hours? Thanks a lot!
You should absolutely not get cartilage pierced with a gun. Rather than explaining it in my own words, I'll let a jewelry site explain it (but there are many, many more that confirm what it says):
"So what's wrong with doing ear cartilage piercing with a gun? The skin on the cartilage is held in place by a connective layer to the cartilage, when the stud goes through the cartilage it tears the connective layer away from the cartilage and fluid fills the void between the skin and cartilage. This fluid crystallizes and forms what is called Cauliflower Ear* ( *usually seen in boxers who fight without ear protection ) this bump looks awful and is not the desired effect for ear cartilage piercing. The cartilage piercing takes and inordinate period of time to heal due to the lack of room for the skin to heal through the hole of the cartilage because the piercing isn't big enough for the tissue to enter the hole in the cartilage. Besides that the cartilage isn't suppose to be pierced that way in the first place."
Quoted from http://www.pacificbodyjewellery.com/smkgun.htm
Really, really not smart.
And admittedly I can't answer your other two questions, but I thought it essential to reply to the gun part.
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okay so I love my boyfriend to death and does lots of sexual favors for me and vice versa. we have been together almost 2 years now and we are both 17..well he loves blowjobs and I absolutely cannot stand the taste of semon..I need to know what to do..but don't tell me to tell him know because I want to give them to him I just kinda bear with it and deal with it..and well do the deed. So no guys I do not tell him no, I just do it..but I end up having gag reflexes deep down in my throat..any suggestions how to fix my little dilemna?
Try it with a condom. You can get flavoured ones, and it's safer anyway. Condoms are always a good idea, really.
I don't have a whole lot of experience to be honest, but I would think it would at least help.
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I have my big winter dance coming up on February 3rd. I am a 15 year old female, 5'5 and 163 pounds. I desperatly need to lose weight. Here are my problems:
-I love to eat
-I eat wayy too much
-I don't have enough time to excersize a lot
-I drink 1-2 sodas a day
I have 45 days to get into shape. I'd like to lose 30-40 pounds.
Here's what I'm looking for:
-Pills
-Drinks
-Powders
that speed up matabalism or just make me lose weight all together.
Most of you will say, "Don't use those things, just excercise and eat right." Yeah well being heavy runs in my family and I've tried the excercise and eat right thing and I'm just not getting the results I want.
What I'm looking for from you:
- Specific brands of pills, drinks, or powders
- Maybe even different types of excersies
Thank you so much!
You absolutely cannot safely lose that much weight in 45 days. The recommended maximum of weight loss per week is two pounds. Since 45 days is just over six weeks, that means the most you should lose over that period of time is 12 pounds. Even that won't be easy if you're not willing to work for it.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it is the reality.
It IS about what you eat and how much you exercise. Examine your "healthy" foods--you might find that they're not so healthy. Keep track of how much you're exercising and build on that.
Also, results take time. It typically takes about two weeks for me to see the effects of changes in exercising or eating habits, so perhaps you gave up too early.
You have two choices--be healthy, or make yourself sick. Making yourself sick is the only way to come close to losing that much weight, and chances are good that even then, you won't lose a whole lot more than if you'd been healthy to begin with. Not only that, but you'll mess up your metabolism, almost guarantee future weight gain, put yourself at risk for an eating disorder, and generally be miserable.
Be patient and be persistent. Most of all, be healthy.
There's really no other solution, much as we might all want one.
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I stumbled across this site by accident. I seriously doubt many of you have the qualifications to give real people proper advice. After reading some of your responses to people's inquiries i was quite astonished as to how teenagers find they are able to give quality advice and information to real people in need with such little life experience. If you ask me you are not in a place to give your "personal opinion" when people truly believe you are giving them the right answer simply because you claim "people think i give really good advice". (eg. i am still at a loss as to how a 17 year old girl thinks she can give advice to someone regarding conceiving a child) I know you try to come across as a "godsend" to poeple who are in some sort of personal crisis and need a fast easy answer but the truth is, in the cases where it really counts, there rarely is one; at least not from you.
You know what? I agree in most cases. But here's the thing--the site's here, and people are going to ask. So why I personally am here is because there's a great deal of misinformation being distributed (mostly related to health issues), and I'm doing my best to correct that.
I don't think I'm remotely talented. Just because I want to study psychology doesn't give me any special qualifications. But what I do have is common sense, and a fair bit of book knowledge. So that is why I'm here--to dispel myths that would otherwise go unchallenged.
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When I shave my bikini line I get these nasty bumps(they kind of hurt when I touch it) and they are dark so you can see it when i wear a bikini. It's the winter now so i don't need to worry but it has been around ever since I started which was in the spring.
What can I use to minimize the number of bumps and the reduce the dark color?
It's hard to tell from your description, but I would suspect you're suffering from ingrown hairs. If so, it generally helps to (gently) exfoliate the skin the day after you shave so the hair is more likely to grow through the skin rather than under it.
Waxing can also help, but it's painful (or at least it always looks it--I've never had the guts to try).
If it's not ingrown hairs, you might have a problem. I would suggest seeing a dermatologist or a doctor just to make sure everything checks out okay, if that's the case.
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is there any way to run windows XP and linux on the same computer? thanks in advance
Nathan
Yup, you have to partition your hard drive. I suggest getting a Linux for Dummies book, or something similar. They should have a section on dual partitioning, creating a boot disk, setting your computer to actually boot from said disk, and so on.
You might need a partitioning program which can run fairly expensive, or there might be one included with the book.
I attempted it on an old computer and the disk wouldn't partition correctly (I suspect because the software was even more outdated), but I learned everything else.
You should do a backup before you touch any of your settings, though. You might be better off getting an experienced friend to help you through it, too. Dangerous stuff, tampering with your computer.
I think I'm going to try it soon on my laptop, though. Should be interesting!
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do any of you know how to retouch photos? like covering up acne and stuff? would appreciate help very much.
I use Gimp to retouch my photos (when I'm ambitious enough to actually do so). It's free, but it has a bit more of a learning curve than does Photoshop.
If you're interested in it, you can check it out at http://gimp.org and see what you think. There are tutorials in abundance, and I'd also be happy to help if you need it, just let me know.
Good luck.
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is it unhealthy to have less than 750 calories a day if you still get all your vitamins?
Yes. The minimum suggested caloric intake is 1200 calories. Below that and you're on a fast track towards an eating disorder.
Besides, on fewer than 750 calories a day, I fail to see how you would get all your vitamins and nutrients in the first place. Pills can only do so much.
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Okay well im not sure whats wrong with me because lately it has hurt when i went to the bathroom and today i think i peeed blood do you know what is wrong with me?
Perhaps this is going to sound condescending or such, but I feel obligated to make sure--it's not your period, is it? If it's your first time to have your period, thinking it was a problem would be understandable.
If it's not your period, it would be a good idea to visit your doctor. Chances are he or she will order a urine test, which is non-invasive, although obviously I don't know for sure.
But excreting anything with blood is never a good sign. I'd get it checked out asap to be safe.
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ok soo i need to lose weight can anyone help me??
First, make sure you actually need to use weight. Check your BMI and find out if you're in a healthy range. You might actually not need to lose weight at all (and if you're unhappy with your body, toning might be a better choice).
Second, I have to totally disagree with Lola's suggestions. That's a very dangerous way to begin a diet and I would guess that it would put you on the fast track to an eating disorder.
There are no bad foods. It's okay to eat sweets once in awhile, just don't do it often. Eat more fruits and vegetables. Eat leaner meat. Get some more exercise--even if you park further away from the store or the mall or whatever, those few steps add up.
One pound is equal to approximately 3500 calories. If you keep that in mind, it's simple math. If calories in exceeds calories expended, you're going to gain weight. If you consume fewer calories than you use, then you'll lose weight.
But be careful not to go too low. 1200 calories per day is the absolute minimum you should consume--below that and you end up screwing with your metabolism and setting yourself up for future weight gain, along with an eating disorder. Honestly though, you shouldn't be counting calories at all. Exercise more, eat healthy foods, and the pounds should come off.
Eat when you're hungry. Don't eat out of boredom. Water is good, but water should NEVER replace proper nutrients. If you're hungry, you're hungry. Eat. If you're not, don't.
Just be careful.
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Hey people.Ive been thinking about piercing my own nose myself.please dont say"Go get it done by a perfesional"ive would of done that already,please dont ask why i didnt.Anyway. Does anyone know how to pierce it yourself?I bought my nose studs already.If i do do it myself,is there something i need to do to it or whatever. i really need help i want to do this,but i dont want to end up in the emergancy room,lol.so please be specific.Thanks!I will really appreciate anything.xoxo
If you're really determined to do this, do it right. Purchase sterilised needles intended for that specific purpose. Use gloves. Use good-quality jewelry. Read up about proper technique. Read some of the stories on bmezine.com Be careful.
You're wandering into very dangerous territory. You have to keep your piercing clean and your hands away from it. If you see any sign of infection, you have to get it looked at. Cartilage piercings are especially dangerous because if they get infected, they can cause the cartilage to collapse.
You're better off waiting until you can get it done professionally. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the safest way to do it.
If you're determined to do it yourself, you might want to look here for supplies:
http://www.bmeshop.com/ProductCart/pc/mainIndex.asp
They offer needles, sharps containers, gloves, and everything else you'll need. That's the only safe way to do it.
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Ok, I don't know if this is in the right catogorey or not but oh well. I have been sooo deppresed latley. I just don't know if i can deal with it. i need some help, i can't talk to my friends and i don't want to talk to my parents. i've even talked about killing myself. i really want to do that so i don't have to deal with my huge problems anymore. what do i do?
13/f
I totally get the not wanting to talk to anyone. I really do. I suffered for years in silence because I couldn't make myself talk. But eventually it got to the point where I was in total self-destruction mode and I was scaring myself, so I did what I had to do--admitted the truth.
I've never been good with words except in writing, and I find it hard to talk to my parents. I approached a teacher instead, with a written note explaining what was going on. She sat me down and talked to me after, made sure I wasn't about to freak out, and then asked me to talk to the school guidance counsellor. I knew the school would have to contact my parents, so I didn't ask them not to--that wouldn't have been fair. Making the first step by talking to someone else was a huge help, though.
Depression can be fixed. There are medications and therapists. Today, I'm doing well. I still have days where I'm downright miserable, but the majority of the time, I'm content. Sometimes I'm downright happy. I enjoy my life for the most part. I have to get my drugs adjusted occasionally, but you know what? It's worth it. It's worth the fight for the beauty.
I totally get that it's terrifying and lonely. But it doesn't have to be this way. Find courage. You have it, I know you do. Reach out. Let people help you and love you. It will be hard at first, but it will be worth it. Killing yourself, on the other hand, is far from worth it.
Allow yourself to be loved and helped. You deserve it.
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Greetings,
I had been dating an admitted commitmentphobe for a little over a year until she dumped me last Sat. night w/ the help of liquid courage (I only drank two beers). At the end of the night I promised her that I would remain in her life as a friend, then she kissed me and said that I am free.. I am going to give myself time to heal and call her in a few months. Right now I am obsessively entertaining the thought of getting back together w/ her someday. We started off as a couple, spent two months apart and then dated for nearly seven months. During this time we got along rather well. At first the relationship was sexual but then she pushed me away. Initially I felt rejected but remained loyal to her b/c my gut told me that she wanted to know that I loved her and not her body. Anyhow, we had minor conflicts... usually w/out raising our tonalities and I was content w/ our relationship. I identify as a realist and an idealist.
For the past few months she has been stressed out b/c of school and financial constraints. I've helped her by listening, offering validation and lending money, too. I really wanted the relationship to work and wasn't expecting her to break things off. The other night she told me that 1. i am too good for her (have heard this before), 2. she changed her mind about seeking counseling for her commitmentphboia, 3. that she likes a girl in her class (the girl is in a relationship) and 4. that she focuses on my major flaw- drinking. I was overwhelmed but told her that had already made the conscious decision to stop drinking in excess. I am a fully credentialed substitute teacher w/out many stressors...mainly went to the bar out of boredom. If I had known that this bothered her, I wouldn't have done so. Still she said that she doesn't want me to change for her.
She told me that she doesn't want me to wait for her and that she wants me to date other girls- she has said this before. I have told her in the past that I felt awkward asking other girls out when i love her- she didn't respond.
During the two months that we were apart I read two books on commitmentphobia. I lent them to her but she hasn't read either one.
I have a history of falling for girls who have been sexually abused and are bi-sexual. It turns out that she was molested by her step-father and claims to hate men. Her mom gives minimal love if any. The night she dumped me she went on to say that she doesn't love anybody-not even her son. In the past she has told me that she loves me but admitted to not always meaning it. Most of the time she sounded sincere. I am rather innocent, she said naive, but she seems loving- think that she has trouble loving herself, though. We have talked about this, also.
Now she wants to stay friends but isn't returning my calls. I too need time alone to heal but don't want to give up. Do you think that she really wants me to? I am having obsessive thoughts about getting back together someday and want to know what you think.
Thank you,
Best,
PS: I am 32 and she is 29 and a single mother.
It's a tough situation, and I won't pretend to know I have all the answers.
I would be inclined to say she needs therapy for more than just commitment issues--they likely stem from something a lot deeper, like her molestation as a child. That said, you obviously can't force her into therapy.
It's hard to know what to do. You don't want to abandon her, yet you don't want to crowd her, either.
I would tell her that--that you'd like to remain in her life, yet you don't want to be overbearing, and see what she has to say.
Obsessive thoughts about getting back together probably aren't good. Thoughts are fine, but if you label them obsessive, you might want to try to let them go.
You might actually benefit from counselling yourself at this point. There's nothing inherently wrong with you, but a therapist might be able to help you better see where she's coming from, and advise you on how to help her, or deal with the possibility of not being able to help her.
It's interesting, too, that you tend to fall for women with a history of sexual abuse. It's not necessarily a bad thing, I would suspect it arises from some sort of desire to protect. A therapist might also help you understand just why you've had that pattern, and whether or not it's healthy.
I wish I could offer more concrete suggestions, but unfortunately, I don't have the training (nor the experience, really).
I hope you manage to work things out, though. You seem like a genuinely caring guy in a difficult situation. I hope you can both heal and find what you need in life.
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