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Hi! I'm 17/F and I have been diagnosed with several pain conditions which make eating and working out severly painful. In the past 6 months, I went from weighing 115 to 145. It's very disgusting. I am wondering if anybody has any way to lose weight/tone muscles that doesn't involve pills, exercise, or eating (I understand this is a stretch)?!? The pain conditions are CRPS (known as mankind's most painful disease), IBS (which limits my food to almost nothing), and others that make it impossible to move without severe pain. Thanks for reading this and I look forward to all of your responses!!

Hi. First off, I am really sorry to hear about your condition. Particularly since you are so young.

Now, in one way or another, losing weight will involve eating, though in principle it is the absence of eating. Fundamentally it's calories in vs calories out. If you are gaining weight, you are eating more than you burn. This is very likely due to the fact that you use very few calories during the day being stationery.

I don't know what you normally can eat, but I will give you some tips which you of course should ignore if they conflict with your situtation. First I would recommend that you eat carbs very, very sparingly. The more static you are, the less you need them. Also eliminate any empty calories from stuff that has sugar added etc. Keep saturated fats (found in fatty animal products) to a minimum as well.

In regards to muscle growth. This cannot be done without making the muscles work. Muscle growth is a response to damage to the fibres caused by stress. However, can you use electrical muscle stimulators?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electrical_muscle_stimulation

By all means do check with a doctor before you try anything, but if you can use them they might provide an alternative to exercise. I know a trainer who specialised in using those things for rehabilitation. She said they were very effective (though what she used was considerably more powerful than the regular stuff people buy from the shopping networks or whatever).

Apart from this, I cannot think of anything that does not invovle exercise in one way or another.

I am not sure if this was helpful for you, but I figured I would give it a shot. Good luck.

Alin 34/m

ok so, i have a stationary bike. i just got it 7/7/09 and i've been using it every day. the first day i went for 8 miles and today i did about 4. my question is, how much weight could i lose by the start of school, 9/8/09, if i bike anywhere from 4 miles? should i do more? what should i eat? also, is 5 pounds a week too much to lose? if so, what is the maximum weight to lose in a week?
*im a vegetarian, so if youre going to make meal suggestions (i would like that :]) please no red meat or bird. thanks!

Hey there.

How much weight you lose depends on your calorie balance. Of course exercise helps a lot, and it has countless health benefits, but in the end your diet makes or breaks it.

In regards to how much you can lose, well that varies a bit. Extremely obese adults can push their weight loss above the typical 2 pound/ week recommended max. I dont know how over weight you are, but I can see you are 14 according to your data. In general at your age its not very good to stress the system too much (since you are growing). I would tentatively suggest one pound a week.

So, your exercise routine sounds ok. I dont know how long this takes you, but to get optimal cardio benefits I would say you should train at least 4 times a week, for over 20 minutes, at a pace where you could still just carry a conversation. You can go longer of course, and more frequently, but this is just to get the best cardio benefits for your system.

In terms of food, stick to wholesome non processed foods. Base your meals around a good protein source. In your case, that could be low fat dairy products, egg whites, fish, beans (all sorts but soy are particularly good), lentils, tofu.

If you get most of your protein from plant sources, make sure you eat varied each meal (including secondary sources like nuts, seeds, etc) since plants are incomplete protein sources.

Moderate your carb intake to match your activity level. Carbs are something we tend to over eat on. Also, eat most of your carbs before periods of activity rather than afterwards.

I think google can do a better job than me for coming up with vegetarian meal options. Even though i was a vegetarian for many years, I was not a picky eater, and I am not sure that what I ate would go down well with everyone :)

Just make sure that 1. you dont overdo the carbs, 2. you limit saturated fat BUT include small amounts of essential fatty acids daily 3.have a negative calorie balance 4. exclude empty calories from junk foods, stuff with sugar added etc.

Good luck

okay so ive been busting my ass working out today. i ran straight without stopping for 2 hours then i lost four lbs. I WAS SO HAPPY WITH MYSELF. i started thinking how much weight i could loose. then i drank water and chilled and my house. i went to go weigh myself and now im 3 more lbs!?????????!!! WAT THE F! this is so depressing that its bringing me to tears. i need to loose 30 lbs asap for modeling and i dont see how i can if the little that i eat and the water i drink make me gain 3 POUNDS. HELP SOMEONE PLEASE =(

First off calm down. Second, never weigh yourself at different points in the day. Our body weight fluctuates constantly.

Pick a time of day. I recommend early in the morning before breakfast. Then only weigh yourself at this time to compare progress (in the end progress is the only thing that matters). When I lose weight I prefer not to weigh myself more than once or twice per week since that makes patterns more easily discernible.

Just remember if you have a negative calorie balance you will lose weight. Dont push yourself too hard mind you, starving the weight off will backfire on you very quickly due to muscle loss.

Good luck.

EDIT:

Fruits and vegetables are good, but you need to eat balanced meals. That means you need good sources of all protein, carbs and fats.

Good carb sources (in moderation): oats, whole wheat bread, brown rice, whole wheat pasta, beans, lentils, etc

Good protein sources: lean meats, low fat dairy products (cottage cheese, yoghurt etc), skinless chicken/ turkey, tuna, protein powders, soybeans, lentils, etc

Good fat sources (it is crucial to get a small amount of essential fatty acids every day... particularly omega 3 which I will label separately): Oily fish/ fish oil supplements (omega 3), walnuts (omega 3), flax oil (omega 3), other good quality oils, other unsalted nuts, dark leafy green vegetables (minor source but healthy in many ways).

If you are not very active you have to pay attention to limit carb intake (as well as your overall calorie balance of course). This includes certain fruit to some degree as well. Do not neglect your protein sources. It is very hard to gain weight from lean protein and it protects you from losing muscle mass.

Ideally aim for 4- 6 small balanced meals a day. This way you can customise what you eat in regards to what you are about to do in the next 3- 4 hours... i.e. if you are going to be active you can eat proportionately more calories and carbs... if you are going to take a nap, keep it mainly lean protein.

Good luck.

Is it possible to get toned, shapely legs from simply weight-lifting? Or does one have to do Pilates and yoga and dance and whatnot to achieve that?

The short answer is yes.

The long answer is... toned is a mystery word. A muscle can grow or shrink, and fat can be stored or used. Tone implies muscles growing and fat percentage dropping.

Weight lifting is great for making your muscles grow. It reigns supreme in this category, so it is way better than anything else that you can do.

As for fat burn, well, thats down to a negative calorie balance. Since you cannot target fat loss to an area, in the end its calories in vs calories out. So of course cardio, sports, pilates, etc can be helpful in that they burn calories (and have other health benenfits). However they are in no way neccessary for the body to lose weight and for the mysterious "tone" concept to take effect :)

So again, weights are definitely enough for that goal.

how long does it take for the body to shut down completely without eating at all?

Well, the body does not fully shut down until you die.

As far as I know it takes about two months (maybe a bit more) to starve to death. You do however start causing permanent damage to organs after about one month of starvation.

my friend is the biggest liar ever!!!! she lies about really small stuff that is easy stuff to look over, to huge giant stuff that its shocking someone would even make up these stories. she makes up these huge stories. & she even just told one to me, and i'm her best friend. she told one girl in one of her classes her older brother was fixing her tv one day, and she doesn't have a brother or any brotherly figure. i keep having nightmares about this & i keep dreaming that she'll be really mad and won't talk to me. i don't really trust her with anything, and don't tell her any secrets anymore. i'm not good with talking about feelings and i don't like too. i don't know what to do. :(

When I was young I used to have a friend that was very similar. He would lie about everything under the sun. One of his classic things would be to top your story... if you had an unusual story, he would listen and then tell you a similar one that just happened to be more dramatic.

Check out this article, it is about compulsive liars and it seems to describe your friend (and mine) quite well...

http://www.ehow.com/how_2086429_spot-compulsive-liar.html?ref=fuel&utm_source=yahoo&utm_medium=ssp&utm_campaign=yssp_art

Personally I do not believe that a person is much of a friend if you cannot trust them. Lying in general is pretty lousy, but lying to a friend is simply unacceptable (in my opinion).

I have been reading up a bit on compulsive lying on the net. The problem is that it is very, very hard to get a liar to admit he/ she has a problem. The general gist of what I read was that in most cases the best you can do is walk away.

Well, if I were you, I would make one effort to let her know that you wonâ��t accept it. It's just that, even as I type this, I am 95% sure it will have no long term effect. But, itâ��s worth a shot maybe. If not, then it might be time to abandon the friendship.

Well the title pretty much says it all.

I've come back from uni for the summer and I was tidying up the spareroom and found a tape in the machine. So i know it probably wasn't right of me to watch it but it turns out it was porn! I looked in one of his draws and there's like 7 tapes in there!

I really don't know what to do, I want him to stop doing it. But i don't know what to say to anyone? Or whether i should say anything at all?

I don't think it would bother me so much if he wasn't over 65!!!!!!!!!!!! It's disgusting!! And it's really on my mind loads.

we are moving house soon, so i was thinking maybe i could 'misplace' them in a bin somewhere and he wouldn't notice?

thanks in advance...

Hey there.

I realise that the question was pretty thoroughly answered below, but I thought I would just chime in with my opinion.

First I do realise that this shocked you. I also read your feedback to the other columnists and I considered thoroughly if this was my own parent.

The problem is that most people don't like to think of their close family as sexual beings. Parents often shudder at the thought of their children having sex, and children shudder at the thought of their parents engaging in intimate relations. This situation is not exactly the same, but it goes along the same lines.

If a human being has sexual urges, why should it not be acceptable that they are dealt with providing that no one is harmed in the process? Let me turn this around. It is unfair for you to consider interfering with his life solely on the basis of your discomfort. I honestly don't mean to attack you, I probably would have the same feelings. But no matter how I twist and turn the moral equation in my head it arrives at the same result: it would be blatantly selfish to interfere.

As for his age, well, you have many people that are older and still have not lost their sex drive. Again, looking at it objectively this could be seen as a healthy and good thing.

You have asked the other columnists to see it as though it was their father. I believe we have. Now I ask you to do the opposite. Distance yourself from your immediate feelings and try to see this objectively. Generally, when evaluating a situation, its a disadvantage to be so emotionally involved. That is when one ends up doing things that one will come to regret.

As for misplacing the tapes... for the first thing they can easily be replaced. For the second thing if he realises you interfered (as Razhie said) it will make your relationship extremely awkward.

So please, just give it some time. I believe you will be able to come to terms with this, no matter how disturbing it is now. In any case, you risk making things much worse by rashly acting upon your feelings.

hi im 13 and i would like to know if i should fight back to a bully thats ripped and hes twice my size and i need some tips on how to fight

Well, I for one am totally for having a good grasp of self defence. I am not saying you should pick a fight mind you, but I think its great to be able to turn the tables when one comes under attack.

However, no one can tell you whether or not you should fight. If you dont know how, you will lose. Learning useful techniques will take months in the very least. So probably, in the short term, the answer is don't fight.

However, to avoid this in the future you could start training now.

I don't see how I could teach you anything practical online. The problem is that you not only need to learn techniques, but someone needs to monitor your progress as you practice them endlessly. Only when they have become reflex are they of any use... thats why those bogus 2 day "learn to defend yourself against a mugger" courses are not worth a dime.

So, the best I can do is recommend what you should learn. Fighting can be broken down into components. It is important that you have some understanding of each one.

1. Stand up fighting: This includes both long distance (where kicks and punches are used) and close up (which relies on shorter punches, knees, elbows, and grappling).

2. Ground fighting: This is where you can gain a serious advantage over your average thug if you are trained well. Many, if not most, fights eventually go to the ground. There are techniques for fighting both in the upper and lower (as in underneath) position.

You can either take the components separately or you can join an all-round art. I strongly recommend ju-jitsu (particularly Brazilian) or shootfighting. Combinations of arts also work e.g. boxing or karate + wrestling or judo

I stress again, do choose something with the ground fight element (not just karate or boxing) because you will have a greater edge over every single untrained person.

Many of these arts (particularly those of Japanese origin) also teach discipline, restraint, and focus. Not bad things to learn at any age.

Strength training is always a plus as well, but you need a program specifically made for someone who is young.

Thats all the advice I can give you.

Good luck. I hope this all works out for you.

Alin 34/m

Hey there i was wondering can a man be circumsized at any age? also does being circumsized inhance sex and make it last longer or is that all mind over matter... Sorry if this makes no sense lol

Thank you for listening

Yes one can do it pretty much at any age.

As for the sex... well, opinions are highly divided on the matter. Let me say this with certainty, you lose quite a lot of sensitivity in the penis, which will prolongue sex. However, you will also lose some of the sensations that a non circumcised man will have. It will never be quite as intense for you.

Of all the people I know, only one has actually had it done as an adult, and this is what I am basing this on. The other opinions are obviously a bit useless since they have always been circumcised or not circumcised.

Mind you the procedure is not without its share of pain, and the healing process is quite long. Just so you know :)

hi, so I play soccer, and it's pretty competitive at the high school level. at one of my games at least 2 months ago, i was running and a girl kicked out my shin and i fell, not only hurting my shin, but i also fell right onto my pinky finger. a few minutes later my pinky blew up and was blue and purple and was huge. i never went to the doctors, and it eventually the swelling and color has healed, but my knuckle is still huge. does anyone know what could be wrong with my knuckle? it does hurt pretty badly still and it has limited flexibility..thanks!

You could easily have broken or fractured the bone. I have had numerous soccer related injuries on my hands (I used to be a keeper for a few clubs when I was younger) and I have broken my fingers about 5 times. I did not go to the doctor and now I have 3 deformed fingers (two of them broke twice).

Anyway, what I am getting at is... don't do what I did. Sometimes they may not be able to do anything, but other times they can make sure the injury heals right.

I can't say with certainty what happened to your hand, but I think you did more than just sprain it. In time the swelling in your knuckle will go away, but it might still be an idea to get it checked.

By the way, I am curious, does the finger that healed look and feel normal?

So im an offensive lineman for my football team and im basically the the entire line, im the only one on the team that is athletic, strong and fast. The thing is though is that Im not quite sure I want to play. Ive been working out since January and no one thinks i dont like football because i was encourage other ppl to play and im just like the prototypical jock, so quitting football would be ridiculously hard, and my coach would be pissed becasue the talked to me and said i hav a good chance to play for teams like USC, Miami, Penn State, etc. I know that would be awesome but its not my "love". I love throwign shot put, I just have this great camraderie with my teamates and im currently number 1 in the state for my class (sophmore). Also the other thing is, is that my track coach is extremely supportive and truly cares about where things are going with me(the ideal coach. My football coach always seems like he is worried about himself like if i get this kid into a big school it'll make me look good and if i keep doing it i'll get a shot and coaching some college, blah blah blah. My track coach cares about my team so much that he turned down an offer from a D1 track college right down the street.
Now if I were to go about quitting football and breaking the news to my coach how do you suggest I do it in a formal matter where its just not, I dont want to play?

Look, in my opinion you just have to be three things: honest, polite, and assertive.

I think its appropriate that your coach gets more than a passing "hey... I don't want to play anymore" :)

So, find the right moment, pull him aside, and explain to him what you decided to do. Its ok to apologise for having given him the wrong impression, just make sure that he also realises that you were confused about the whole thing too.

If he insists, or if he argues, just be firm and underline politely that this is the decision you have arrived at. In the end it is your life and your future.

Good luck.

I have purchased the prescription Chantix and am now on my way to a smoke-free life. I have been noticing some things that make me (my body) feel different after not smoking for a few days. For example, I feel like I have A LOT more energy...is this from quitting? Will I notice more things like this as I continue this journey? Or was this just nervous energy and all of this is this just in my head?

Well when I quit smoking I noticed the extra lung capacity pretty quick. That meant being able to perform better in physical activities. I cant say I noticed any energy change... but I also had a very hard time quiting. I almost didn't sleep the first 2 weeks.

Another thing I noticed was a dramatic improvement in my sense of smell. Seems it had been dulled over the years.

Anyhow, its great you are stopping. Its a dreadful habit that does more damage to you than many illegal drugs. Stick to it and your overall quality of life will be much higher- particularly in your older age when the risk factors tend to seriously kick in.

Good luck.

Im a relatively thin person, but i have an annoying patch of armpit fat which isnt part of my boobs, but isnt part of my arms. what can i do to get rid of it? because it really affects what shirts i wear :/

You cannot spot reduce fat (i.e. target fat loss). Exercises will only build muscle on an area despite so many popular myths.

All you can do is drop your overall body fat percentage, and eventually the fat will come from your problem area. Unfortunately, it will also come from other areas too.

Sorry but, short of surgery, that is all you can do.

hi over my 13 years of life i only did 2 sports which were wrestling and swimmine but what are the benefits of wrestling because after 2 years i didint see much results because im still kind of chubby so what sport should i do to lose weight? and what should i eat?

Look, for weight loss you need a calorie deficit. That means that you need to burn more than you eat. In principle you can do all the sport in the world and still gain weight. Similarly, one can be a couch potato and lose weight. My point is the diet makes or breaks it.

Now, in regards to sports, the more calories it burns the better. Sports where you run around a lot tend to burn more calories. For example soccer and basketball will burn more than american football or volleyball.

Sports like wrestling and weight lifting are good too for building strength, preserving muscle mass, and improving your metabolism.

There are many options you can do, and I urge you to take the ones you feel you can stick to. E.g. for fitness buffs, a weight training and cardio (e.g. running, stair climbing, bike) combination is very effective.

If you want to just pick one activity then I would go for an intense, high impact sport like soccer or basketball. However if you feel you can do more activities then by all means to so. Some weight lifting and cardio are always good for weight loss, general health, etc.

My current routine for example consists of soccer twice per week, weight lifting 3 times per week, and cardio training (stair machine) 2- 3 times per week (same session as my weights).

One note on swimming. Some studies have shown that swimmers often have trouble with their weight. One theory was that being in the water raised your appetite disproportionately much relative to the calories that you burn. For whatever reason, if you swim you have to pay special attention to the amount you eat.

I am into spearfishing myself, and I know that after a couple of hours in the water I am ready to eat my weight pizza :D

Right. Now onto what you should eat. Eat balanced meals consisting of wholesome non processed foods. Minimise saturated fats (fats found in animal products) and eliminate empty calories from things like junk foods and anything with sugar added to it.

One area where many people go wrong is they eat too many carbs (e.g. from bread, potatoes, pasta, etc). Go easy on those and also make sure the bulk of your energy is eaten before periods of activity not afterwards.

If you are still not losing weight then drop your overall calories a bit until you are.

Good luck

Alin 34/m

so i want to loose 40lbs.
let me rephrase that. i need to loosd 40lbs.
i'm supposed to weigh 120 for my height. but 135 is good too.
i weigh about 175 right now.
but anyways, i've been going to planet fitness for about a month now.
my routine:
20 minutes arc trainer or eliptical
10 minutes tredmil or bicycle
15 - 20 minutes on leg and arm toning.
60 crunches. 20 on each side. 90 in total.

i recently started the slimfast diet.

do you think this is a good workout routine, or too much/too little

Well, its a good start but it needs some tweaking in my opinion.

First off, you can do the slimfast diet, but you are better off with a reasonable balanced diet. Diets like slimfast are too generic and don’t account for individual differences, activity levels etc. Moreover, its always healthier to get your calories from actual food and also eventually you need to train yourself to be able to control your normal food intake. Otherwise when you get off the slimfast diet it will be hard to adapt.

Now, if you really cant do it any other way, then use it. Otherwise just consider a sensible diet.

Onto the exercise. Your cardio is fine both for health and weight loss. You can always add another 10- 15 mins later when you feel fitter if you want.

The other exercises I am not so fond of. I also dont really understand what you mean by arm and leg toning exactly. Girls use this term a lot and it has very little meaning. Muscles grow or shrink, fat is gained or lost (but never spot reduced/ targeted to an area)... Have a look at this article:

http://exercise.about.com/cs/weightloss/a/toning.htm

The crunch training is also a bit off. One of the basic principles of exercise is that you must train opposing muscle groups. If you do crunches, you should train your lower back to avoid posture/ back problems. Also, considering that spot reduction is impossible, I think this is disproportionately emphasised in your routine.

I think doing some resistance training is an excellent idea, but I would do it differently. You are much better off with a full body routine. It burns more calories (including affecting you metabolism), it makes you fitter and stronger (not just in your arms) and you will not have to worry about creating a disbalance in your muscles.

So I would suggest this:

- Start with a short warm-up.

- Then do resistance training. Choose a full body workout which starts with the big muscle groups first and, as much as possible, sticks to free weights. Machines generally produce worse results, increase risk of overtraining and injury, and ignore supporting/ stabilising muscles groups.

I don’t know how often you train, but for resistance training you should always have a day rest between training the same muscles. A full body routine can be done say Mon, Wed, Fri.

- Next you do the cardio routine you have above. You can of course do cardio on days where you do not do resistance training (just make sure to take at least one full rest day per week).

Well that’s my suggestion anyway. If you want help with your routine or anything, you can always drop me a question. Otherwise the trainers at the gym can also help you there.

Good luck with the weight loss.

Alin 34/m

okay so for two years i ran track in high school. i did sprinting. (i got 5th several times in the state meets.:]) so my leg muscles are wide and big. i know they are fast-twitch muscles from sprinting but i want to turn them into slow-twitch muscles that are slimmer and skinnier looking. please help! :)

The body adapts to whatever kind of stress you expose it to. Of course, as Mousy said, there is a genetic component and certain body types fit certain types of exercise better.

However anyone can make serious progress in whatever direction they choose. What you need to do is 1. stop doing any kind of explosive training with your legs (this includes most sports, sprinting, weights etc) and 2. focus on long distance endurance exercises like jogging, cycling etc. There is no magic formula here. Just expose your body to the right kind of exercise and the changes will take place automatically.

Of course it may take a while, but the changes will come. The human body is built to adapt.

Good luck.

Hi, I'm 17/f and there's this guy that I've been talking to on and off for about 4 years now, and during this time we've both gone out with other people but we always go back to eachother for some strange reason, though we've never actually gone out. I recently lost my virginity to him and now we talk almost everyday, and we do other stuff occasionally, like go out to eat, and we always talk, never about sex or anything, but he's always asking me to come over and now almost everytime we see eachother we have sex. I'm pretty sure he doesn't talk to other girls, and I don't talk to other guys either but I can't tell whether he's just using me for sex or if he really does like me. I really like him and I always have, and we've talked about it before and he claims he does really like me, especially since we've known eachother for such a long time, but idk. When I told him that if we're gonna keep having sex that we should just be together, he said he wanted to be with me too but he didn't wanna rush anything and he said we should just play it by ear... It's been a little over a month and nothing has changed. Should I continue talking to him or what should I do?

First off, isn't the "lets not rush thing" speech supposed to be given to delay sex in a new relationship. I must say I have never heard it in this context.

From the info above I do think he is using you for sex. I do not understand what it is that he does not want to rush. This whole relationship progression is on backwards.

However, the easiest way to find out- which is also what I would recommend that you do- is to put him on the spot. Tell him you really like him but that you will not accept your relationship as it is now. Tell him you want to be with him, but as something more than just sex buddies.

In the end, if you are unhappy with your current relationship, you have nothing to lose. Just be honest and straightforward and this time do not accept anything but a clear answer.

Good luck.

I am writing a short story and it's going to be about the end of the world, basically. In the story, the main character is going to reveal items he has stashed in his backpack he's been carrying around for this journey, but I'm sort-of clueless on things he should bring along with him.

So, the world has practically ended. It is now a time that people must fend for themselves. There are no running stores or even gas stations. People have sorted through left-behind homes and are surviving day-to-day, but it's still a fairly new concept so people are still trying to grasp onto the society they did have. Sometimes that means people carry around items that have no "value" to them other than sentimental.

The main character has gone through houses for supples and has now traveled quite a distance. He is opening his backpack and laying out all he "owns" onto a table, sorting through things he can trade off for canned foods and things he can currently use.

What would you pack in your backpack if the world was ending? What would be your survival necessities?

Please, feel free to elaborate why you choose the items you choose. Feel free to list as many things as you want to, as long as it all fits into the backpack comfortably. Remember, the main character travels long distances by foot so objects with substantial weight aren't a great idea.

Thanks for any ideas!

Hey there. I will give this a shot.

Tools

Weapons (both for defence and maybe hunting)

Medical supplies: first aid kit, antibiotics, etc

Other useful survival gear: compass, pocket knife, scissors, matches/ lighters, tape, safety pins, rope/ string, bags, blanket/ sleeping bag, fishing line/ hook

Electrical equipment: walkie talkies, radio, batteries

Clothing articles: raincoat, gloves, boots, hat

Sewing stuff: needle & thread

Well thats what I can think of off the top of my head.

Good luck.

I just started talking to this guy. I really like him and I think he likes me. We're hanging out again tomorrow. I know what guys can tell girls that make them feel good.. but what do guys like to hear?

We are all different of course, but actually I think a lot of guys are suckers for compliments. Myself included lol. But it should be genuine you know, otherwise its going to seem forced and he might see through it.

So, if you like something about the guy then just mention it in passing. You know, like "hey, thats a heck of a grip you got there" :D

What is important is to stay away from girly compliments. Avoid words like "pretty", "dainty", "cute" (in many contexts anyway) etc. Also if the compliment were to be aimed at something he does then it will probably go down even better. If he is totally into a sport for example he probably will like the ego boost. We can be a bit shallow that way sometimes hehe. Its one reason guys take it up a notch when girls are watching, even though they know deep down that 90% of the time they couldn't care less about the sport.

One rule of thumb, most guys like to feel "manly". So think of the things that define him as a man- or rather the things that he percieves define him as a man, and you are on the right track. Then keep the compliments genuine and don't make a big deal out of them.

Good luck.

my bf is 17 and when he gets an erection his penis is bent over to the right hes insecure about it i told him not to worry its normal isnt it?

Yes it is. There is no set standard for these things.

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