Member Since:
February 13, 2007Answers:
449Last Update:
January 2, 2012Visitors:
30601Favorite Columnists
Razhie
orphans
HectorJr
Daimeera
Main Categories:
Love Life
Mental health
View All
about
I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
to post/comment on a topic =]
advice
I got a new third generation iPod nano and I hooked it up to my computer so that I could get all my songs and videos I have onto it and charge it and stuff. (I had an ipod before this) It said I needed to update to iTunes 7.4 or higher, so I went to apple.com and downloaded itunes 7.5. However, when its almost done with the installation, it brings up an error code 2203, and then it wont install the latest itunes. what shold I do? I looked on google, for what to do, but the only answer was for people with Vista. I have windows XP, NOT vista (just to make that clear) What should I do about it?
Whatever you found on google may work because xp is still fairly advanced. However, if nothing you find works, you can download this other music player that works with older computers as well as advanced ipods. The link I found that allowed me to do this is http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?threadID=1306587&tstart=0
basically (or to rephrase the link) you must first install WinAmp at http://www.winamp.com/ Then, you must install the plugin found here: http://sourceforge.net/project/showfiles.php?group_id=106528&package_id=114821
It's not itunes but it works just as well (or, at least, songs are going into my ipod) and it's easy to install. To get the music on your ipod, click on the ipod icon under "devices" to the left side of the screen. Then click "sync" to get your playlist onto your ipod. To get your music (from your old itunes or whatever) onto the player go to file: add music (well now I'm just spitting out pretty basic advice but you get the idea).
I have been sick since august and we are trying to figure it out. We saw an allergist, and found out that I am allergic to a certain kind of mold. We also found out that the mold is growing in my school, very bad. So what should I do? I mean my school is trying to fix it, but in the meantime... I mean thats not fair because they make me go to school, shouldnt they pay for my doctor bills? Anyways, I am always sick with a bad sore throat and I dont know what to do cause this cant go on like this for the rest of the year.
There are basically two options: you switch schools/ find a way to attend school less often, or you learn to deal with the allergies. If your allergies are bad enough, you could always try to scope out other schools in your area, and request to go there as a transfer student (a student that switches schools in the middle of the year, or in the middle of high school/ middle school/ ect.).
If you are uncomfortable doing this, an easier solution would probably be to see your allergist about different kinds of medications that will stop your allergic reactions. There are many drugs available in your drug store that are non-prescription, and if they don't work you can go to this allergist for something stronger.
I'm not sure how much the school can pay for your doctor bills, though you could try asking a guidance councilor about that. Hopefully the school will clean up before long, in the meantime, investigating in allergy meds isn't a bad idea anyway, especially since you may have some other kind of similar mold problem in the future.
is there a different between making-out and french kissing?
Making out is more of a loose term to describe long, intense periods of kissing and, in some/many cases, touching (groping, caressing, whatever). French kissing is when you kiss someone with tongue. Since making out is a less definable set of two words, long periods of kissing or french kissing are usually considered to also be making out.
14/f -- i'm not prude, but i don't hook up with people alot. the last time i did was in october, and before that in may. i don't know if i'm a bad kisser, but one of the guys i hooked up w. told his friends i was but he changed the story. so i don't know -- but getting to the point, is there anything i can do with my tongue that people generally like to improve my kissing? or my hands, or basically anything that will make the experience for more pleasureable for both of us. i know that everyone likes different things, but just from your experiences or what you've heard, i guess.
With your tongue you could try exploring the other person's mouth with your tongue, flicking up the end of their tongue, or circling their tongue. With your lips (and just the lips on this one) you could try to kiss them just on the bottom lip, or just on the top lip. You could also try changing the speed and pressure - just have fun with it. With your hands, normally you'd just put them on the person, almost like you were hugging them. You could also try moving your hands around their back/ hair as you get more into the kiss.
Also remember to go with the flow. I've never tried spelling out the alphabet, but it may feel better if you don't focus so much on the technique and just get into it. Don't be too afraid to try different things or things you haven't heard of before if it feels right in the moment =].
okay so i really need help.
i really like this guy.
weve been friends since the beginning of Freshmen year.
but over the past couple of months ive started to see him as more than a friend. well i talked to a couple of my close friends about what to do. They told me to tell him, all he could do was say no. that he didnt see me as nothing but a friend. sooo i told him this past friday night. i typed 4 paragraphs about how great he was, how he deserved better than someone he was talking to that screwed him over, big time, and telling him that i really liked him. well all i got in return was "your so fn sweet and cool" then today when i walk into 5th he grabs me and gives me this huge hug, then i go sit down to do my bell ringer and he comes by me and starts hitting a bunch of keys. (He sits infront of me, in keyboarding) after that he messes my hair up. then he leaves to go donate blood 15 mins after 5th started and he stairs at me the whole time hes walking to the door/out it.
soo yeahh does this mean he likes me as more than a friend??...wouldnt he have told me??....am i not good enough for him???...why hasnt he told me anything, whyd he leave me hangin and then today do all that?...should i ask him if he likes me as more than a friend?? or just wait and see??
He probably likes you, but either doesn't want to rush into anything or is confused slightly about his feelings. The best thing you can probably do is to wait it out, yes, but also flirt with him when he starts to flirt with you (the hitting keys, the staring). Think of this sort of flirting as a way to test out the relationship without getting serious or possibly getting hurt. In response the the things he does you can tease him, hit his keys in keyboarding, whatever feels natural. If all is well (he keeps acting like he may like you/ flirting), you can casually ask him out... say you're free and ask if he would like to get a hot chocolate/coffee with you, that kind of thing. It sounds like he isn't ready to necessarily be committed or confess his feelings totally just yet, so take things slow. Remember also, that "your so fn sweet and cool" could be his way of letting you know what he thinks of you; he just may feel awkward saying "I also really like you" or something of the sort. Be patient, and see how he continues to act around you. So far it looks pretty good =]
I need serious help
Im always sad and i havent stopped crying in like 3 weeks
i have thought of suicide alot before
and im thinking of it agian
there is so much stress in my life right now
i feel worthless
useless
unloved
lonely
and incredibly empty
im missing something in my life
and i dont know what it is
im afraid of myself because of my constant upsetting thoughts
i keep having horrible nightmares and i cant stop thinking that i have no future
i dont know what to do
my parents dont seem to care
and they made everything worse when i told them how i felt
please help me
im desperate and really afraid
As bleak as it gets, tell yourself that you can get better, no matter how much you don't feel it right now. Trust this with all your heart. Whatever you do don't attempt suicide. This is not the answer; think of how much worse your parents would feel then. If anything, when you find yourself seriously contemplating this, call a suicide hotline (and I found one online: 1 - 800 - SUICIDE... wow, not hard to remember... or 1 - 800 - 784 - 2433).
Everyone feels out of place at times, maybe even a lot of the time. It's rare to find someone, at least at your age, who isn't searching for something and who doesn't have it altogether. Sure, it seems like there is no future now, but part of that is because you haven't fully figured out yourself yet, and that is perfectly okay.
I'm assuming you have depression. It's actually pretty common. If your parents didn't seem to care even if you rationally told them how you felt, yes, that does make things more difficult, however there are other places for you to turn. School guidance councilors may be useful, even if you have one that may seem remote and not helpful. They are trained to look out for issues like these, to some extent, and may be able to direct to to where you need to go, whether that is a therapist or a psychiatrist or whatever you need. Family doctors are also good because they also have this type of contact information, and also have enough training to treat you themselves. If anything, you can talk to a friend; they may not know exactly what to do but talking does help. The worst thing you can do is isolate yourself or give up.
As for your stress, try to get rid of the things that cause it. You shouldn't stop completely with homework and whatnot because then that becomes an issue in itself, but try to consciously tell yourself to worry less. The things that you worry about probably are important, but not as important as you are. Try to work in something you like to do every week, whatever that may be. Find something that can center you and make the sadness more bearable - loud music, punching a punching bag, writing in a journal - whatever that may be.
Also - telling yourself you are unloved and have no future: not helping. When you start to think like that, make a list instead of the people that love you, and the things you can do (or the things that you like to do when you aren't so stressed out). It sounds cheesy but it works, and will make you feel a lot better than telling yourself you won't get anywhere.
Of course it's difficult to see how you'll get somewhere right now, but it won't last forever. Always remember this: no matter how tough things get, you owe it to yourself to pull through. Get help and don't look back. In time, you'll be so much tougher for the struggle you'll have gone through.
i am soooo depressed like my parents dont believe they say it will pass.... well that was a year ago and im still depressed, i really need help cuz i cut myself adn do other stuff nothin deadly but things to cause me pain. for depression pills do you have to see a doctor or wat???? not that it would make a differance cuz im only 15 couldnt drive anywhere to get them.....
If you told your parents that you cut yourself and do "other stuff" that is similar, likely they will take you more seriously. It might also do to throw in that they told you it would pass a year ago and it hasn't, and now you would like to seek help. Going to a guidance councilor/ therapist/ nurse that can do therapy can be an important step in the right direction, however, the only way to actually get an antidepressant prescription is to go to a family doctor or a psychiatrist. If you really need to get around your parents, you could always ask them to step out of the room while you speak to your family doctor, and use the subway or some other form of public transportation to get antidepressants from a drugstore. I'm assuming, though, that you want your parents to support you? Approach them when they seem the least preoccupied, and ask them if they have a moment. Then, tell them how you feel, that you cut yourself, that you want to get checked out for depression (and anything else you'd like to tell them).
It's hard, because it's not like a physical disease where anyone can see the signs. You'll have to keep telling them seriously until they listen. If nothing else do what you have to do... and this could mean seeking help on your own through some kind of therapist/ guidance councilor. It's good that you're trying to get help for this. I wish you luck =]
Does anyone have any real, personal sucess stories of how you overcame depression sans medication?
I don't have a personal success story, but I do know a friend who went from attempting suicide to being... well more than depressed. Originally he went to a private school where he was less than loved by the student body, then switched schools, switched out of private school, and now has truckloads of friends.
Changing your lifestyle can help; it often does help a lot. However, this is no reason to have a completely one-sided outlook on anti-depressants. As Rhazie said, they will not "cure" the depression, but give you the tools you need to get through it. Running for for hours a day actually is a good way to combat the disorder/ disease/ whatever you want to call it, but most who have it lack the energy and willpower it takes to do this. That's just something that depression does to you. Anti depressants aren't for everyone and I'm sure people do get better without it, but whatever you are doing, I urge you to seek out the system first for all the extra help it can provide. The first time I did get depression I'm fairly sure the medication one of the main things that was actually helping me.
Otherwise, though, I don't discredit the efforts of the individual to combat depression through changing a lifestyle, making friends, therapy, or working out. It's all those factors together that help you get "better".
I'm using blubster..and i loved it!
The problem i have is it has so many pop ups and ads! is there any way i can remove them from the blubster??
Please help me!
There are many pop-up blockers you can install in general for web browsing. Noscript is a good blocker for anything at all that is an ad or not really part of the website you are visiting. You can download it here: http://noscript.net/getit
The only downside is that it may block some things, like the videos on youtube. This is easily fixed by clicking at an icon that will appear at the bottom right of your screen that will let you allow all websites being blocked temporarily or permanently.
I plan on being a virgin until I'm married. I am currently a fifteen year old female. I've been confused lately about whether or not I should be dating and in relationships. Can I be in relationships and still manage to stay true to the no sex thing?
[By no sex, it includes everything, not just intercourse. No oral, fingering, touching someone below the waist, nudity, cybersex, phone sex, etc.
]
And no, these aren't rules set by my parents or anybody else. My parents have set no boundaries on me or even talked about it. This is something I decided on my own.
Sure, sex can be part of a relationship, but there is so much more to a relationship than just that. Besides, it would be fairly difficult to have a working marriage with someone you have never dated, and harder to get to know the person.
It might be hard for some people to not have sex in a relationship, but this doesn't mean that it will necessarily be hard for you, and there are things you can do to make it easier. First off the guy you pick to date is very important. If you start to date a guy who is known to be promiscuous, and he is always pressuring you for sex, it may be harder to stay abstinent. When you enter into a relationship, get to know the guy first to make sure he does not have a one track mind. Do lots of things like talking out in the open in a place with lots of people during the day. Make sure he is the type of person that is not just interested in your for the physical aspect of a relationship, and tell him early on that you do not plan on having sex until you are married.
As well, taking it slow will help. Make sure you establish relationships with lots of talking, and don't speed into things like being felt up above the waist per say, because the faster you move from base to base the faster the question of sex will come up. As well, know that if you ever get into the situation where you know that it would be difficult to be abstinent, you can easily avoid placing yourself in the way of temptation by having dates outside in the sun in front of people as opposed to inside in the dark in a bedroom while you are drunk.
Another tool you can employ is your parents, even if they have placed no boundaries on you. If you tell future boyfriends/dates that you are not allowed in the bedroom with them, you are less likely to be in a situation where you will break this promise to yourself.
Wow. I realize I just babbled on and didn't entirely answer the question. Yes, yes it is possible. If anything there are plenty of people that plan on the same thing that you can date in the future.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years and I love him alot. Things are pretty good in our relationship, we don't really fight or anything.
Anyways, he recently got a job and he got a cellphone. I was putting my parents phone number into his phone and noticed there were two girls numbers in there that I've never seen or heard about. As I was doing that, he got a text message from one of the girls. And it simply said "Hey". Then the next day I went to use his phone to text message my sister and noticed that his inbox had been cleaned out. So of course, I get the feeling that he's hiding something..
Basically, it this harmless text messaging that's going on between them or should I be concerned? It's really none of my business who she is, but I'm curious as to where he got the number. I don't know if it's my place to ask him, let alone even know how to approach him about it.
Any advice/help would be great!
This is probably nothing. Sure, there is a chance that he is cheating on you. There is always a chance that he's cheating, but you can't be aware of every time he talks to someone female in a day the same way it's probably okay that he has female phone-acquaintances that you have not heard about.
Most probably these numbers are from girls that he is friends with, but not enough to necessarily talk about. It doesn't necessarily mean that he is hiding something; it could be that they haven't had any sort of interaction interesting enough to mention. He could be cleaning out his inbox because all the message said was "hey," so likely it wasn't important enough to save.
You should probably just forget about it and trust him. If it's really bugging you, you could always ask him about it in a neutral, not upset way. This might be hard to do without sounding like you are suspicious, so you could also try beating around the bush, asking questions like "Are you meeting a lot of new people at work?" The specific to the point way may be "Are you meeting a lot of new people at work? I noticed you added lots of people I don't know onto your phone list." And keep it as neutral as possible.
I come from a very religious family and go to a christian school.
We talked about God all the time in classes and mostly good things.
God is all about love, forgiving, a way of life.
The thing is, that we were only being tought just chosen quotes and not the hole thing.
I bumped across this site that has all those particular stuff chosen from The Bible, The Old and New Testament and I found out crazy evil stuff inside there.Horrible stuff. Of course I am not gonna argue with my parents, let them think whatever OR my friends.
This has really been a life changing experience for me, something really mind opening and a new way of life free out of human stupidity.
Stupidity that tells you "Dont be evil cause you ll burn in hell", when it should actually be more like "Dont be evil cause you shouldn t be".
Or sayings against premarital sex or "Smoking sends you to hell" and that drinking is evil.
I get drunk like twice a year, and dont feel the need to drink more and more. And by drunk I mean a little bit tipsy.
Or why is oral sex evil and immoral? What harm does it do?Its been a while since I found joy in both giving and receiving it lol...
In case you were wondering, this is the site
http://www.truechristian.com/confessionboothx.html.
It talks about, slavery, in breeds (Lot) and put things in a way new perspective.
I have validated the facts from the bible.All it takes is make a little extra reading from what they tell you to read in school.And you are free to find out for yourself.
Of course I am not going to turn Muslim, the Allah religion is way more obscene and violent.
But I do believe in soul and one true god.
I also do believe in Jesus as an historical figure and share the same philosophy. All the good things he said.
But priests, school, religious people and books written by people, rules build by people (for instance oral sex.drinking,smoking) are violating Jesus work and the real Gods work.
No I dont expect Jesus to be smoking, but he was a human and a God. And there is no need for some being to expect from us to not be doing those stuff if that greater being gave us the present of life in the first place.
Do you suppose there is another sub christian party that works according to my beliefs? Of course I dont mean a church where people get drunk or something, but a church that celebrates life just as God intented instead of looking forward to death.
I'm pretty sure that the person on that website was not entirely factual and or sane. Some of the stuff that I read there was very non Christian, for example, laughing over atheists burning in hell and calling them homosexuals and communists. I'm fairly sure that not all atheists are both of those things.
First of all, remember that everyone who is religious looks at religion a little differently. For example, the man who created that website may believe things that you do not believe. That is okay, even within a religion. Sure, the Pope is a world leader for Catholics, but that doesn't mean that everyone who is Catholic agrees with everything that he says, or even that the majority of Catholics do. No matter what religion you are part of, you will probably agree and disagree with certain things. This doesn't mean that you need to give up religion altogether, as it's perfectly alright to have your own individual interpretations. The man who created that website had viewpoints that very very many Christians would disagree with. The fact that there are people like him out there does not mean that Christianity is like that or bad, it just means that he has a certain way of believing in God, and that you have your own.
Second of all, "the Allah religion", Islam, isn't inherently obscene or violent. There are a few extremists that make it that way and that don't represent what Islam stands for, just as that website does not represent what Christianity stands for.
So back to the bible. Yes, there are many things in there that are not taught in schools and as part of the Christian religion. The reason for this is that Jesus, several times in the Bible criticized the Pharisees, religious leaders at the time, for paying so much attention to specific rules in the Old Testament that they forgot the main messages, which were to love the Lord with all your heart, soul, and mind, and to love your neighbour as you love yourself. In fact, Jesus actually went against teachings in the Old Testament, for example, as a lady who had committed adultery was about to be stoned according to a law made by Moses, he stopped the stoning famously by asking whoever had not ever sinned to cast the first stone (though I'm sure you've already heard of that story). It is generally thought that, yes, the rules in the Old Testament were important thousands of years ago, but today they are less important and it is more important to look at the philosophy that was Jesus' teachings.
Generally, the books of the Bible are extremely contradictory. In genesis, it mentions there being several gods, whereas in other parts of the bible is says that the Lord is a jealous God (implying that there might be other gods), and yet there are also multiple instances where it is written that God is the only god. A good way to look at the Bible is that different things were written at different times and in different societies. Genesis, for example, can be looked at as a very metaphorical book. Some do believe that the world was created in seven days, however, another way to look at it might be that it had to be explained that way, using days instead of however many years, because the concept of days is easier for a simple shepherd living thousands of years ago to understand.
I'm not entirely sure which sect of Christianity, or which religion in general is right for you. A good idea, to discover this, would to be shop around by sitting in various congregations to see what you like best. It's also important to find a community that you will feel a part of. Find friends with different religions (people not from your school that you know? People from school that celebrate a slightly different version of Christianity? and ask if you can worship with them, or think about what you personally believe in on your own.
For the record, I'm fairly sure that most Christian religions do celebrate life. In the New Testament, at least, there are multiple accounts where it is written/ said by Jesus that God is the Lord of light, not death. If you really feel a connection with the basic Christian philosophy, you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss the good you have gotten from being religious because someone may interpret what is in the Bible differently. At the same time, looking around to see what else is out there is not a bad thing, either.
About 3 weeks ago i had a fling with this guy named cody(i don't know his last name) and now he goes to my school. (I'm bisexual and engaged to a girl.) He even has classes with my girlfriend, but for some reason he won't talk to me. I mean he will talk to my girlfriend and he will talk to my other friend who was with me the night i slept with him. I don't understand why he won't talk to me. Before we has sex we even said that it was nothing special and that neither one of us wanted a relationship from it. (I had a carwreck that night and just wanted comfort) but now he won't talk to me. Why will he not talk to me? Please help me! We were fine the morning after, so why won't he talk to me now? Sorry so long!
~~~HBA~~~
The only way to know for sure would be to ask. But, to be honest, there are tons of reasons why he may not want to talk to you. First of all, you both technically cheated on your significant others. Secondly, he had sex with a guy, so he could be now questioning his sexual identity. It's also possible that the sex meant more to him than he thought it would. By not talking to you, he could be either avoiding you so he doesn't draw attention to the two of you together, so he can forget what happened, or so he won't have to worry about how he acts around you. He may just not know what to say, or how to think about you after the event. Or it could be none of the above things. Once again, you'd have to break the ice to know for sure.
Well I've tried shaving down there before, but it came back thicker and darker and grosser. I wanna wax it, but I don't know how.
How can I buy a waxing kit or something? I doubt my mom will buy it for me.
You can buy waxing kits at any drugstore, and they are probably also in places like supermarkets. In general, hot wax works better than cold wax though it is messier and more difficult to use at first. The instructions come on the box. Two extra tips that might not show up there are that the strips are reusable, and cold strips work best when warmed up briefly by placing them beside something hot, like a light bulb.
Your mom probably would buy you wax, if you talked to her first. She probably uses it herself. In any case, I recommend being careful and always reading the box to make sure you actually can use the wax "down there". In most cases where people remove hair there themselves that I've heard of people either shave or get it professionally done.
Hey, im 14.f and a freshmen.
alright so finals are coming up, and obviously its my first year taking them.
im very very nervous, considering it counts for a lot of my grade and im really nervous i wont remember anything at all.
But my real question is, What are some good ways to study that seem to work?
because i think, since im in highschool now, i need a stronger technique that will help me remember more information, because seriously, i dont think what i'm doing is helping me much anymore.
i mean i study for tests, i know the information, but then its like i dont remember what i reallly need to know.
I get B's or C's on tests i should ace.
so will anyone pleaseeee spare some good studying techniques or habits?
thank you sooo much.
Good habits would be finding a quiet place to study, without distractions, and being organized with your studying. The latter basically means to start studying well in advance (ei, now), and to study a little bit every night/ every other night instead of cramming, where you will lose focus after an hour, anyway. It's good to have a glass of water with you while studying, and to take some kind of break for say, ten minutes after every hour of studying.
Good techniques depend on the subject. For math, the best technique is to do math questions. If you do not have a review sheet already, try going to the textbook where there is a review after every chapter. For subjects with lots of key terms, glossaries are incredibly useful. I personally like to make mine as flashcards from a stack of cue cards I buy near exam season. On the front you can put the word, and on the back you can write a definition, and draw a picture. Pictures are very useful for subjects that have some sort of visual component, for example, science (maybe not physics but biology is pretty visual). If you are taking some sort of history/ social science/ english exam, a good way to study is to practice writing essays or paragraphs on topics you know you will cover. If you studied a book in English, it's useful to pick out important passages and then explain why they are important, or make a chart that contains things like theme, character, and symbolism. Charts are also useful in other subjects because you can use them to compare many different things (ei. you make a chart of different rocks for geology, and for each one you say how they are formed, when they are formed, ect.). Another useful thing to do, if you are taking a history course, would be to make a timeline.
Once you have done everything, it's good to call a friend up and go over everything you think you should know, as she does the same. You will be able to fill out any holes in your studying. As well, once you are done, it's useful to think of questions yourself and answer them, or go over your textbook/notes/workbook and find questions you left undone and sheets you have not filled out and finish them. Always write down questions you have while doing this so you can ask your teacher about things you missed/ did not understand to ensure that you actually know everything you should.
Good luck =]
What's the difference between having a Academic and Aplied class? Is it the intellectual skill of the work or do you do the exact same thing but differently?
I just heard form people that you do the same thing but get no or less homework =/
Applied courses do have less homework, however that is not the only thing that is different. The material covered is also a lot easier than an academic course generally. The intellectual skill really is different, and I'm pretty sure they are taught more or less the same way. The downside of this is that universities won't look to these courses as prerequisites, and at times you can't use them as a prerequisite for another high school course (I'm assuming you're in high school). For example, if you take grade 11 applied math, you can't take grade twelve advance functions or calculus. If you take applied grade ten math, academic grade eleven math may be difficult for you, and so on. As well, taking an easier course can make you get bored of it if you are able to learn at an academic pace/ like a challenge. In general, taking academic courses is a good thing unless you really don't understand the material and are sure you don't want to go on in that subject.
Well he asked me out about 4 months ago and we had sex and everything but he's in the army and he's going 4 training and stuff witch I'm ok with he's helping free our contrey I'm proud of him but then he said he wants 2 go on active dutiy 4 3 years and I already worry about him like 24/7 I mean he's my life I'm just scard that he might not make it and it hurts but I would miss that he always wants sex even if I'm crying r something he talks 2 me and when I stop crying he asks me if I want 2 have sex its like he's horny 24/7
Talk to him about how you feel about him being in the army. Tell him it worries you; that makes sense, as there is real danger there. However, eventually part of you has to let that go. Yes, you are worried, but once you've communicated this to him, there's not much else you can do. It's up to you to figure out how you are going to cope with the situation. It might be best to try worrying about him a little less, if you do that 24/7. Try going out with friends more, or taking up a hobby, something that will distract you and make you a more individual, happier person.
As for the sex, it's all right if he wants it a lot of the time. As long as he doesn't pressure you to have it when you say no, it's fine. Scheduling more dates outside and in the open might help to make him less horny.
i just started my period and i hate pads already. but my tampon hurts like hell when it is in and i can't find any other way to put it in it also hurts when i take it out. what should i do?
It's always hard the first time you use tampons. It may be harder for you, however, if you are using a type that is harder to insert. Try buying tampons with an applicator, if you aren't already (it should show this on the box). Try to find tampons with applicators that are plastic, or that have a rounded end as these will be much easier to use. If you can't find this on the box, I would recommend brands such as tampax and playtex. There's no need to find the fanciest version, but I find personally that a good applicator makes a huge difference.
Also, it helps if you always insert the tampon at a 45 degree angle - think sitting with your back slightly arched. Always look to see where you're putting the tampon until you've had some more practice, and make sure that you're pushed the tampon in basically as far as it will go. One of the main reasons tampons are so uncomfortable can be because they aren't in far enough. As well, as you are just starting your period, it might be better to start with regular, ultra-thin or light tampons as the heavy flow tampons are bigger and harder to get used to.
Also, remember that you can only keep a tampon in for 8hours max, so as much as pads are annoying, it might be best to wear them to bed.
Don't worry - after a while you'll get used to all this =]
16/f
Hi. I only like guys who don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, and are nice, smart, and a virgin... but it seems like there are no guys out there at all who fit my description. So I'm just wondering, are there any many guys who are like that? Or are my standards too high?
There are guys like that, they just may not be people that you normally hang out with (or they may not be guys that know people you hang out with). Going to a church to meet guys is not a bad idea - if you are Christian. Other good places are after-school clubs and co-ed sports teams where most of the time you end up making friends with people that you may not normally be friends with.
You may also be having trouble since guys that are out there doing drugs and having sex will talk about it - whereas guys who aren't doing those things won't stand up going "I'm a virgin and don't do drugs!" because they would probably get weird looks. It only seems like everyone does certain things because that's usually what people tend to talk about. Try talking to the guy who doesn't say anything, perhaps, in a group of people bragging about how high they got. Or try instead talking to the group of people that you wouldn't normally consider; they may surprise you.
As for your standards: they certainly are going to limit the amount of guys you would look at or potentially date. On the other hand, do you want to just go out with anyone? Be patient. Those guys do exist, and when you find them, you'll be glad you didn't waste your time with someone who you wouldn't have gotten along with anyway.
First I am currently in the United States Army deployed to Iraq. I am really a good looking person, and in great shape. But throughout my whole life, I have never been able to be really affected by emotions. I am married, most likely going to end up in divorce, only because I don't feel in love. No matter how many long term or short term relationships, I never feel happy, sad, or anything, and always yearn, for loss of better words, that feeling. I don't mourn the deaths of others, or family members. I am not fearfull of death or anything. Do I have to try to feel this?
Well, it depends. No one has to be anything, but if you would like to, that is a different story. In the army, it is a very good thing not to feel emotions, especially about the deaths of others.
As horrible as this sounds, it may not be convenient for you to discover your emotional side right now, if you are currently in Iraq and not about to leave soon. Getting out of the army is a good idea if you plan on discovering your emotions; if you are unable to do so, it may be a good idea to wait a little bit more.
The reason why you can't feel emotions is probably due to the fact that it was not okay for you to show emotions in the past. Perhaps you were told that crying made you weak, and hence tried to bury feelings of sadness inside yourself. This is dangerous because without feeling sad sometimes, it is hard to feel happy.
If you would really like to feel more, seeing a professional is not a bad idea. You may not have a kind of depression that stops you from going to work in the morning or causes you to burst into tears regularly, but seeing someone can't hurt, can it, even if there is nothing specific that is "wrong" with you. Know that a lot of people (mostly males) have trained themselves to not feel anything. I encourage you, however, to try. Personally, it helps for me to draw something or write in a journal to get feelings out. This is not a bad idea, actually; you could try writing anything that comes in to your head, to get in touch with how you feel.
Honestly, you don't have to feel anything, but if you are yearning for something more, getting in touch with emotions may not be a bad thing.