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Virginity
I plan on being a virgin until I'm married. I am currently a fifteen year old female. I've been confused lately about whether or not I should be dating and in relationships. Can I be in relationships and still manage to stay true to the no sex thing?
[By no sex, it includes everything, not just intercourse. No oral, fingering, touching someone below the waist, nudity, cybersex, phone sex, etc.
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And no, these aren't rules set by my parents or anybody else. My parents have set no boundaries on me or even talked about it. This is something I decided on my own.
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I saw congrats on your plans for saving for marriage. I am also doing that as well and I am 23. Just to let in a some info. it WILL be a struggle. People will try to treat you different.They will think you dont know anything. AND ALoT of guys wont want to give the time of the days if they know they dont have a chance in bed.or they will try to pressure you even harder. But the way you look at it you wouldnt want to be with those kind of guys anyway. it does take time to find those type of guys that are willing to except you for who you are.keep me posted
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BRAVO BRAVO! i love you! =]
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Hi Sweety,
I'm glad you can be able to control yourself you can be in a relationship and have no sexual activities whatsoever. It can work and will if you keep hard at it. Well done it is a really mature thing to do and i wish you the best of luck.
Mandy
xxx
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It is definitely possible to have a loving relationship without sex.
My boyfriend and I have been dating almost 2 & a half years, and we don't have sex. As long as your feelings about it are in the open from the beginning, and the boy respects it, then things should be fine.
And boy who doesn't respect your wishes to not have sex isn't worth your time anyway. (:
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hey...my name is kendra..i am 16 and i also made the decision to not have sex until i am married at 15. For now im still sticking to my decision and its not for any religous reason. I have been in a few relationships and i made sure i kept my promise to myself not to have sex with any of the guys i've been with, no matter how cute they look. yess i am pressured everyday to have sex by the people who surround me, my peers, guys, tv..the media...but i know what i want and you know what you want..dont let anyone else control what you want.
Being in relationships allow you to see what you like and what you dont like in a guy. Its normal that a guy might pressure you to have sex but when you're with a guy make sure that your mind controls your body and not the other way around.
Have fun dating guys..althouhg you might find that some guys only want to have sex. if thats the case dont feel like you're holding back anything just move on....
hope i helped <3Kendra
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sex isnt part of a relationship. if the guy you are with cant accept the fact that you dont want to have sex or anything until your married that he isnt right for you. becareful on who you choice.
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Sure, sex can be part of a relationship, but there is so much more to a relationship than just that. Besides, it would be fairly difficult to have a working marriage with someone you have never dated, and harder to get to know the person.
It might be hard for some people to not have sex in a relationship, but this doesn't mean that it will necessarily be hard for you, and there are things you can do to make it easier. First off the guy you pick to date is very important. If you start to date a guy who is known to be promiscuous, and he is always pressuring you for sex, it may be harder to stay abstinent. When you enter into a relationship, get to know the guy first to make sure he does not have a one track mind. Do lots of things like talking out in the open in a place with lots of people during the day. Make sure he is the type of person that is not just interested in your for the physical aspect of a relationship, and tell him early on that you do not plan on having sex until you are married.
As well, taking it slow will help. Make sure you establish relationships with lots of talking, and don't speed into things like being felt up above the waist per say, because the faster you move from base to base the faster the question of sex will come up. As well, know that if you ever get into the situation where you know that it would be difficult to be abstinent, you can easily avoid placing yourself in the way of temptation by having dates outside in the sun in front of people as opposed to inside in the dark in a bedroom while you are drunk.
Another tool you can employ is your parents, even if they have placed no boundaries on you. If you tell future boyfriends/dates that you are not allowed in the bedroom with them, you are less likely to be in a situation where you will break this promise to yourself.
Wow. I realize I just babbled on and didn't entirely answer the question. Yes, yes it is possible. If anything there are plenty of people that plan on the same thing that you can date in the future.
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That's a really nice decision you've made by the way. I admire it.
Of course it can be possible if you find the right person who will respect your decisions.
I also hope you have enough will power to stay true to your word, because with you growing up and experiencing the world of dating etc, it might prove difficult to keep to it.
but I guess if it means that much to you to wait until marriage, you'll remember your reasons and hopefully not give in.
I really wish you the best of luck. :)
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I firstly want to say that I admire this decision. It is possible to have a relationship with these boundaries, but it won't be easy. Many guys will try to pressure you into things... As hurtful as it can be, some guys will even break up with you if they don't get any. Also, if you find a guy that you really like and want to be with, you may have an inner struggle with yourself. Your hormones will start racing and you'll get aroused. It will be difficult, but I encourage you to stand by what you believe.
-16/f
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I say that is a good thing that you set these boundaries yourself. And yes it is very possible to have relationships with no sexual actions other than kissing. It just depends on how much self control you have.
It would also depend on how much the guy respects you. You need to make sure that he knows where the sex thing stands. Sometimes you can get so caught up in a moment and in a relationship, you get swept up and forget. But once again like i said, it depends on the amount of self control you have.
xoxo
teardrops7
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Yes, it's possible to be in a relationship and manage to stay true to yourself and your ideas but it's VERY difficult.
If you date someone and aren't very absorbed in the relationship it's not as hard to say no to them. If you really start to fall in love you may want to go further to please someone and that is where your mind has to overtake your heart.
If you aren't the type of person that can't resist pleasing someone then you'll have a lot of difficulty.
I respect your decision and think it's great that you don't want to go far until your married, it's very remarkable that someone your age has that mindset and knows that you should save yourself for the one you're married to and you're going to be spending the rest of your life with.
As I said, it's possible, but VERY difficult to resist urges when you're deep into a relationship and really care for someone. It's also okay to change your mind later if you truly care for the person. I'm not saying you should have sex before your married - it's different for everyone. What I want to say is that if you ever change your mind just make sure that no matter what you're doing you play it safe. These days you can get STDs from oral sex and even different methods of foreplay. Always use protection. If sex ever comes up then use condoms and birth control. Together, if used properly, they have a 97-99% rate of working. You could always be that 1% though, so make sure you're ready to handle any consequence.
Congratulations on wanting to maintain abstinence until you find that special someone, it's very noble of you.
Of course you should be in relationships, how else would you find what types of people you're compatible with? Just be careful and remember your morals. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.
My own personal rules have usually been if one persons pants are down the other persons are up, always protect yourself and continue washing your hands. Sperm doesn't die when it hits the air so it's always better to play it safe.
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