A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
Location: No where you've heard of.
Member Since: July 16, 2007
Answers: 2588
Last Update: April 13, 2014
Visitors: 96930
Main Categories:
Love Life
Random Weirdos
Mental health
View All
|
| |
|
Every time I ask "mom, can I get gauges" she always yells "NO"!!!! If I ask "why not" all she says is "because I said no". If you are going to ask....... I'm 13 years old...... and please don't say I'm too young.... I have thought long and had about this,and have decided that I really want them. I know everything I need to know about them, like how to clean them, and take care of them so they won't get infected. I don't really want big ones..... like a 12 gauge?? Or mabeye a little bigger?? But not too big. So please, how can I convince her to let me get them?? (link)
|
Ever heard the phrase "pick your battles" before?
I don't have a 13 year old yet, but I can tell you that in 13 years if my kid comes and asks me for gauges my response will be "you can get them when you don't have to ask my permission to get them legally" and my response to why will probably be "because I said so" as well.
Sometimes parents just view something as unacceptable for someone your age and don't see the need to allow you unlimited freedom to express yourself at 13. You won't change that, so instead stop trying to figure this out, bide your time, and bring it up in the future when you want something else and you can throw out there "well you told me I couldn't gauge my ears and I accepted that, can't you be a little more reasonable" to sweeten the pot for some other future conflict.
Strategy, young one. Strategy.
|
Let me start off by saying that I have been with this guy for just over 3 years.
I really do love him.
I trust him more than I ever have many close people in my life. He is definately one of my best friends. I hate the thought of ending our relationship, but the thought has crept into my mind over this summer.
The problem is, he is pushing our physical relationship more and more. I think he feels left behind because his friends that have been in relationships about the length of ours have all had sex. I was raised in a Christian home..and I've always wanted to wait till marriage. It didn't ever cross my mind to not think that till this past winter. All the sudden I understood his urges..And Its AWFUL to control. Over the summer we went to far. There was touching...and he did some oral stuff with his mouth...and i did the same for him. I actually hated it..I cried for a long time after that.. I tried to explain I wasn't ready..and for most of July I was hateing myself for what I let happen. I couldn't decide..and last weekend I gave in again...and I feel worse than ever because..Even though I want to believe He is the ONE...I'm only 18. I know I dont want to get married this early in my life..but I still have the problems that come with being a teen.
My question is really...what do I do now? I would break my own heart to loose him..but I don't know how to make it clear (for both of us) that we went to far. We tried talking..and he doesn't understand my reasoning for believing we went too far. I dont like the feelings I've got right now...but I want to work this out. I have a really great relationship.. depending on me to make this right. I really do love him...I just need some help..HELP? (link)
|
God.
Adviceman! Shut.The.Fuck.Up. with your grandfatherly rape chat. Seriously? Don't tell people when they were raped. People know. You're offensive. And making grand assumptions which indicate a severe lack of reading comprehension.
Questioner.
This isn't really going to work. He does not believe what you believe or think what you think. He did not go too far. You did. It's your principles which were violated and you need to accept that and move on without all the self hatred. Guilt and shame serve no purpose other than to prevent you from actually learning a valuable lesson from the experience.
You know what desire is now. Welcome to the world of adult sexuality. I won't get into the religious part, I'm agnostic and nothing I have to say you want to hear. But you need to accept the fact that you followed a natural impulse for sex and intimacy with someone you loved and accept the fact that you want more and have to live with that desire unsatisfied.
You need to accept the fact that you're human and humans fuck up, as well.
On his side, you aren't going to make him understand. I get it, I was raised Catholic and know all about waiting until marriage and sexual guilt/shame. Anyone who doesn't accept the worldview you hold is going to have issues respecting your choices as much as you'd like them to. He wants intimacy, and it's not just about getting laid. People in relationships with other people naturally want to be emotionally and physically intimate, and guys are somewhat hardwired to be demonstrative with their emotions in physical ways. That and trained by society to be emotional mutes, so sexuality is one of the few acceptable avenues of expression available to image conscious male teenagers.
Bottom line, he wants something you want to avoid. He doesn't want to wait until marriage. You do. Break up, because he's not the one and if you convince yourself he is you'll be marrying him so you two can have sex years before you're anywhere near old enough to start looking at people with the perspective and maturity of a woman who's read for marriage herself.
Frustrated virgins trying to figure out who the one is so they can get married and fuck like rabbits (finally) is a recipe for unmitigated disaster in every sense of the word. If you want to stay a virgin find a guy who shares that conviction, because strapping yourself to a guy who doesn't when you know you want him too is a recipe for more self hatred when you inevitably bow to nature and physically express yourself again.
Believe me, he's not going to want to stop you any more than he's already tried (not at all, apparently)
|
So please try to understand me and what I'm about to say. I'm a sixteen year old female and I've had the same group of friends since I was in 6th grade we're in 10th grade now. There are six girls within our 'group'. Two of which I can trust and tell anything and not be afraid of them judging me or talking about me behind my back. Another two I can tell things too but I don't know how they really feel because they tend to agree with anyone who is talking; I kind of think they don't like confrontation and just kind of follow what everyone else at the time is saying and just go along with it. The last two are the ones who I have the most problems with lately and who were also my closest friends and constantly judge what I do- I will refer to these to as Kellie and Laine since they are the ones this question is mainly directed towards.
Ever since 7th grade I knew I wanted to experiment with different things one of which would be drugs. My group of friends and I started drinking in the summer going into 8th grade and have been ever since. In the summer going into 9th grade me and a few of them started smoking weed- Laine found she didn't like smoking and quit after her 2nd time, while Kellie and I smoked weed whenever we had the opportunity too. During 9th grade, Kellie and I also did ecstasy together and started to go to parties every weekend up until she got caught at the beginning of this summer and we had to stop hanging out a lot. This summer, I tried benadryl and that's when problems arose. Kellie and Laine saw this as a huge no-no. I know my limitations and I always research what I take before hand just to be as safe as I possibley can. I found I didn't like benadryl so I know I won't do it again. This summer, I also took up smoking cigarettes not on a daily basis and only on occasion. When I told Kellie and Laine they again told me how stupid it was and how bad. But I just don't care. So a few weeks later when Kellie asked for a cigarette I was surprised but gave one to her and when we were at a party and Laine saw her smoking I tried to cover for her. Since then, four of my friends have taken up smoking as a occasional thing. Remember that during this time Kellie's mother didn't like us hanging out and Kellie always told me how she wanted to party with me soon again but I felt I couldn't because her mother would be furious. About a week ago her mother allowed us to hang out again. Kellie seemed to want to start partying with me again but I just don't feel right if we do that so soon after being unpunished so I'm not going to for a while. I have so many memories with this girl.
This summer I also got a boyfriend, David, who I care deeply about and who also cares immensely for me. He goes to another school so my friends don't know him well except for what I tell them which isn't a lot because they never seem to care. He and I will do drugs occasionally together. On Friday him and I were hanging out with his friend and one of my friends in our 'group'. The rest of the 'group' went to this fair were I was supposed to meet up with them later. We took drugs that night. I took ambien. I found myself not going to the fair and meeting up with them. So we drove to Kellie's house (where they were all staying the night) and they met David for the first time but 4/5 of them were pissed at me because I had blown them off so it was not a pleasant encounter. I gave one of them a cigarette which she asked for and then they made us leave. We left knowing they were so pissed and kind of just laughed it off because we were having a good time. So the girl who really didn't care and I trust not to bad mouth me came over today and I had her tell me what they were saying about me. I found out that Kellie and Laine were talking about how if I get worse they were thinking about telling the person I care most about which is my uncle. I know they won't have the guts to do that, and I know I'm not gonna get 'worse', I know my uncle will still love me and not judge me as they do, and I know they wouldn't want me to tell there dad or someone important to them if they were me, and I know telling my uncle will absolutely have no effect. The thing is I get on honor roll, and I get along with people, and drugs is just something I do on the weekends. They act as if I am a herion addict spiraling out of control. That is not the case. They should know that when I need help for myself I will get it. They should know if they want to help me they should just be my friend, except it, and wait for me to come to them. By Kellie doing so she is being a hyprocrit. She knows if she was me she would be doing the same exact thing, she won't admit it but it has happened countless of times. I was told they said “They would be devastated if something happened to me”, “they WANT something bad to happen to me so I can learn a lesson”. I just think what they say is just awful. They have also said “drugs are more important to her than her friends” and that “she thinks google tells her everything!” Both of these are untrue. My usage doesn't have to involve them if they didn't let it. And true I use the internet to find out information but I check countless of sites to get the most accurate facts I can. The truth is they don't even know the half of it. They never asked me what happened that night. They don't care to even try to understand. I find it hard to believe that they “care about me so much” when they talk bad about me without even attempting to hear what actually happened. I find them extememly petty and immature. I know if things keep going as they do we won't last as friends much longer. Which I kind of feel is inevatable but I also don't want to happen. I know my limitations, and I know what I want. I just wish they wouldn't worry so much about things they really don't need to stress to worry about. They may say they 'only care about me' but if they really cared wouldn't they try to understand and stay my friend? (link)
|
I'm going to leave the drug use part mostly alone. I was a party kid like you starting at around the same age. I thought I had my shit under control, I lost my shit more than once, I got my shit under control, and I imagine that just like me nothing anyone says is going to convince 16 year old you you have anything to worry about or pay attention to.
Just keep things in balance. You don't want to find yourself needing substances to have fun, even just on the weekends. Be aware that your teenage years are when you are supposed to be developing emotionally and learning how to forge relationships and to some degree it's already getting in the way, which means that to some degree it is a problem.
I measured my success in self control by the fact that my clean and sober friends had no idea how not clean and sober I ever was while we were in high school. Might not be a bad idea for you.
Anyway, onto the friendship issue. Some of this is just how it works. You grow in opposite directions from some of your high school friends. You don't look at the world the same way that they do and it's a problem for them.
That's where that "we want you to learn a lesson" comes from. They've been taught (like everyone is) that drugs are horrible and will ruin your life if you go near them. You want to find out for yourself if that's true. The fact that they take this "truth" for granted and you don't upsets them. Or perhaps they want to do what you do and simply cannot or will not actually go through with it. Regardless, be prepared because this will not be the last time you butt heads with someone who takes what they were taught by others at face value and thus judges you for not doing the same thing yourself.
People tend to be protective of their beliefs, right or wrong. They believe that you'll either straighten up like them or crash and burn like they've been taught drug users tend to do. If you manage to not do either you make them look and feel stupid.
No one likes that. And people these days are surprisingly resistant to having their preconceptions challenged. Thus, you are a threat because you challenge your own preconceptions and challenge theirs too in the process. Anytime someone makes life choices based on information you think is untrue that someone tends to get up in arms. It might well mean the end of the friendship.
Don't expect them to grow up. Yeah, it's incredibly petty. "We want you to suffer because it would prove us right and we'd feel better about our own decisions" is a stupid ass childish thing to say.
You won't stop hearing it any time soon. Adults can be just as petty even unto their death beds. Find friends who agree with you, who don't judge you but will still step in if they think you're getting out of line and fucking up. People who's standards match your own closely enough that when they tell you you're out of line you actually listen to them.
And don't blow people off. Whatever the other issues being a flake isn't ok and being a flake because you're taking ambien in high school is a bad precedent to set. Hiding in your room doing meth because you can't afford coke and scratching the sores that result from malnutrition and spending too much time sitting or laying in one place starts with blowing people off because you popped a pill and didn't feel like doing anything else after. Yes, that's a specific person I knew.
Remember. Balance. Always balance.
|
|
I'm a 13 yearold girl i'm a blond and blue eyed.A lot of guys ask me out.Anyway my boyfriend is 16 and he changed me into someone i'm not.When we started dating he told i should dress more “slutty”.Then i started waring “slutty” clothes. Our relationship started from a little kissing and making out to being in a sexual relationship.My friend saw the change of my personality, even i saw the change.i turned from a blond who did the right thing to a blond who is a slut and does anything right.i want to change but i don't want to end my relationship with my boyfriend.Please give me advice.i can't stop thinking about my situation. (link)
|
That's creepy.
Let me explain.
There are two types of sexually active teenaged guys. The first kind is the guy who seeks girls who are like him, interested and willing when it comes to sex. The second is the "mold your girlfriend into what you want her to be" kind of guy who gets off on sleeping with virgins and changing girls into what suits him.
Your boyfriend is the second kind. The second kind has the additional downsides of not respecting you as a human being and a person, and being willing to manipulate you to get what he wants in all kinds of different ways, none of which will be fun or enjoyable for you.
The only real advice is that this needs to end. At 13 you don't have the life experience for me to really explain to you in a way you can understand exactly what this guy has done to you, but it amounts to removing your chances to learn to see the world in your own way, and substituting instead his way of seeing the world.
As people grow up, everyone develops their own perspective on things. They have their own opinions on what's right and wrong, what's good and bad, what's sexy and what's not.
He's taken your chances to figure that out for yourself and inserted his own desires. So where you would have been free to come up with your own ideas of how to be attractive to guys, instead you just dressed "slutty" because he told you to.
This is not a healthy relationship pattern.
He will actively fight the changes you want to make because he knows exactly who he wants you to be and you don't yet.
Decent sexually active guys break up with girls like you or don't date them in the first place. I avoided virgins like the plague in high school. It was nothing personal, but the more experienced the better when you're someone who wants an actively sexual relationship.
You don't really know what you want yet. You aren't supposed to, you're 13. We try to protect kids your age from sex for the simple reason that there are alot of other things you need to figure out about dating that all take alot of time to work out for yourself that need to be addressed before you hit the point where you're sleeping with someone.
If you were three or four years older, you probably wouldn't have given this guy a second thought. It's easy for a 16 year old to seem like a cool, mature, intelligent, worldly guy worth dating to a 13 year old. It just is, you don't have enough experience with losers and douchebags to know what you're seeing.
Ten years from now, you'll see guys who still act like him and be disgusted. The 26 year old guy dating a 16-18 year old who just makes your skin crawl because he's so goddamn creepy.
You don't have the perspective now, you aren't supposed to, you're 13.
Break up. You aren't going to figure this out with your manipulative dick of a boyfriend sitting on your shoulder telling you there's nothing wrong with what you've been up to and you just need to relax and go with it. He's not going to really give a shit that you think somethings wrong and want to figure that out for yourself.
He's just going to be pissed that you stop putting out, and he's going to move on to another girl who hasn't figured out what you just figured out (that there are guys out there who will manipulate the hell out of you to get laid).
|
|
Ok well 15/f I have put this off long enough well we got a new male teacher at the beggining of the school year, and well like its an all girl class of about 10 people, and well sinse the first day he says innappropriate things like the first day talking about balls, another day bringing up dicks and yes the bad way, btw hes a young teacher not married no kids. Any way me and my friend Cali were like wow. Then the next day he came up to me in the hall way while i was on the way to the bathroom and walked biside me and he goes heyyy and i was like woah you scared me and he was like I get that a lot then he raised his eybrows up and down at me over and over, then he followed me all the way to the bathroom no joke not sayin anything then when I got to the bathroom a teacher walked out of a near by classrom and he saw the teacher and i gues feaked out cuz he made a weird face then turned around and left. Later on I told my friend about it and she was like wow this is really getting freaky, so then the next day we go to class and the teacher stared at me the whole time and sometimes smiles and my friend even noticed it to cuz she was like woah did you see him today and i was like yah lets add that to our list. Also he continues to do that everyday now for another really freaky thing the other day me and the teacher mr.(Hanson) were talkin and he randomly says to me I would give you a big hug but I canr because of teacher student realationships and then he winked at me and smiled and I was like...speechless than later that class period he came up and started messin with my hair like running his fingers through my hair and stuff and twirlin it, and kinda pattin my hair. Which was really freakky! now also the other day I was walkin to gym class with my friend and he was staring at me the whole time i walked by once again my friend even noticed it! and then yesterday when our class was just gettin done talking to him he looked at me and winked then smiled, he's done that so much now! now for one last thing soorry this is takin so long but Today I was playin the keyboard and well he came over and put his arms around me and was all up on me and I was like eeek what do I doooooo. Then like I was lookin to my side tryin to signal my friends Cali, mary,and Trailey and they finaly saw and there eyes got wide and one of them screamed MR. HANSON! and I sware he jumped up faster then lightnin when he saw they were lookin! Well he's done more but I don't wanna take up anymore of your time so I was just wonderin what to do its really freakin me out! the way he acts! do you agree he is acting inapproprite and harrasing? Please helpp! P.s. He also points out innapropriate things in songs too and says like why would they be doin that or makin jokes about it and smilin. Well thanks! please help! (link)
|
Get your friends together and sit down and write every example of this stuff you can down on paper. Ask around if you get the chance and see if anyone else has similar stories and get them to write it down too and sign it. Turn this in to the principal before you have another class with him.
It's Saturday, two days till school's back in, get crackin.
|
|
hi my boyfriend ejaculated in me 6 or 7 times but i got period, STILL. does this mean am i infertile or something else? i'm 34 and my boyfriend is 41. i'm not on a pills. we both want to have a baby. thanks you guys. (link)
|
Hmm. Well the first thing a doctor will probably tell you is that you need to be trying for a year with no results to be considered and infertile couple, and even then it's not necessarily impossible.
http://www.fitpregnancy.com/getting-pregnant/fertility-conception/how-get-pregnant
That's a good random resource. Google things like "how to get pregnant" and "guide to conception" for more information.
|
|
Well I made a very big mistake and I slept with one of my teachers at the university.he is married and he has one kid.I know where his house is.well I was trying to stop the sex so I didn't go to his office anymore and he kinda found out and he accused of me being a pervert girl that goes around to be with guys.(while this is actually the first time in my life sleeping with a married man).and he broke up with me!!!!and let me tell you though he didn't even help me a little bit when he wanted to give the grades last semester and i got an A my self!.now i am so pissed at him and i want to black mail him that if he doesn't give me a good grade this semester I will tell his wife about our relation ship.I know that what i did was wrong but he had no right to accuse me as a slut!!I mean this relation ship had nothing for me!!and I am mad as hell!!I need help!How do i black mail him?? (link)
| |
Blackmail is a crime.
|
|
Hello, hopefully I can get a fast reply - it is needed. I've recently broke up with my girlfriend, the only thing is, this is a long distance relationship, she lives VERY far away from me... anyway, I dumped her because she has become far too obsessive, I can't talk to any girls in real life or online, if I do then that means I am automatically cheating on her... she is emotionally blackmailing me because I no longer want her... I can't get in touch with her family so yeah. :/ /Please help? (link)
|
If you know her address, look up the local PD and give them her location and tell them what you've been told. If you have e-mails feel free to forward them to an address they provide as further information.
If you don't know where she is just block her and move on with your life, because there's nothing else you can do except get manipulated into further contact.
Suicide threatening over a relationship is sometimes serious and sometimes not, depends on how unbalanced the person is. However, in all cases it is akin to a two year old banging their fists and feet on the floor and screaming at the top of their lungs for attention.
It doesn't matter what kind of attention they get, they just want to keep you from cutting them off and disappearing. They'll take positive or negative attention, and worse if you try to talk her down it's just more opportunity for her to drag you back in and probably to her a confirmation that "you care about her".
Block her phone, e-mail, every way she has to contact you. If you get a letter from her in the mail burn it. Change your phone number as soon as possible because as soon as you block one number she'll probably try to find another. Cut her out of your life like the cancer she is and realize that if she is actually insane enough to hurt herself over you the only thing you could have done to stop this shit is to have somehow magically picked up the scent of crazy before she ever got invested in you.
And if it makes you feel any better, 99/100 times the person who does this is literally just throwing a tantrum to get control back and will sulkily move on to the next object of their obsession when it becomes clear they can't even talk to you to try to suck you back in.
|
|
i have been with this same guy for over three years now,and we are good together.we have always had exciting sex life,and he says he loves me much,but the other nite,he told me he had sex wtother girl,4o5times,we started working on us,then he admited he was still seeing her.we r talking again,nd he swears no more lies,thathe is only wt me,but im hurt nd he dont understand y its so hard 4 me 2 believe in him again. can i ever get past this,o just walk away be 4 he hurts me again?? (link)
| |
Yeah, you do walk away.
|
|
OK so I am 16/g and im gay. Ever since I came out to my father we have been ok and close enough but I feel uncomfortable talking about this with him, as well as some of my gay friends. My school doesnt have a sex-ed program and the community center doesnt have a course for gays/lesbians. I am confused on everything at the moment. Anything and everything anyone could tell me would be useful about now. (link)
|
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+do+you+have+lesbian+sex
Some of the sites suck, but I'm sure you'll find plenty of information in there.
|
19/M
I have this friend who is two years younger than. He is really cute, and I had a huge crsuh on him for a while, but he told me that he was straight so I just dropped it. Well, our conversations are almost always about sexual topics. We have talked about a lot of things. And he asked me to send him a pic of myself. And he knows I am gay, and I was just joking and said "Do you want me to be naked with a boner? Lol!" And his reply was "Kinda." And I was just thrown for a loop. I mean, I sent him one and he said he was going to use it to masturbate with, and I jokingly asked him for a nude shot and he just went with it and sent me a nude of himself with an erection. I was so stunned! I mean, I liked what I saw and it made me kinda start to think I should try to talk to him. Then I asked him, "Ok, I have asked you this before, but are you into guys?" And he replied, "No, it is just what I jack off to. I am not into guys, it just what I like to jack off to." And then he went to bed. I am so confused by all of this. He is a cute sweet guy and we have the same morals. I want to pursue a relationship with him, but he says that he is straight, he just likes to jack off to guys. I am so confused by all of this! Any advice?? (link)
|
Aww shit.
Closeted. Totally closeted. I'm bi and was brought up Christian and homophobic and definitely went through the "I don't like guys I just think the male form can look great" phase.
You can't push him into something he's in denial about. All you can do is likely provoke confrontation, which might get him to realize whats up but also will kill any chances that he'd date you anyway.
But probably not. Everyone works differently but it took me four or five years from the point he's at to really admit it to myself and start to try to be OK with it.
Part of it's the identification that he has to be straight or gay. I'm bi and my wife is about to have a kid with me. I find guys very attractive but if you put a hot girl on the left and a hot guy on the right I'll still spend 90 percent of my time looking left.
It's funny, because knowing I like guys didn't stop me from being completely happy having married a girl, but having accepted that part of me helps me feel just a little more like a whole person than I used to, which is never a bad thing.
Also, I'm sorry, but the average guy's ass is just so much nicer than the average girls. Boobs just trump all.
|
|
I'm not racist by any means, but the area we live in is very much a white place. My daughter, 18, has begun to see a young man who I believe is in his early 20's. He seem's nice enough, he works and treats her well but he is an immigrant from the Caribbean, and we all have heard the stories about these types of men, I don't mind her being friends with him but I think she should not be seeing him on an intimate level, how can I tell her to not be with him without her resenting me? I am currently the only person she has told within the family about their relationship and if others find out I'm afraid they will disown her. (link)
|
You're being racist and you should shut the fuck up and support your daughter. If he's a mistake it's because he's a bad individual not from a bad race and she has every right as an 18 year old adult to find out for herself. If he is a decent guy and they work well together you should stand up beside her to the rest of your apparently bigoted family and try to shoehorn in some tolerance there.
Sorry for the coarse language but your attitudes are straight up offensive.
For the record I'm a white male.
:Edit:
Also because literally the only generalization I've ever heard about Caribbean men is that they're great in bed, if this is about sex you also need to accept that your 18 year old woman wants to get laid just like you did/do.
|
do boys like hairy pussy?
(link)
|
Honestly, most guys I know are of the opinion that less is more. This includes myself. It's kinda gotten to be so uncommon you meet a girl who goes natural that few guys are even used to it anymore.
I personally think it's something worth compromising on. I've trimmed myself when ladies have asked me to, and kept up with it.
Different people have different grooming and hygiene expectations, but they usually are expectations that people will consider deal breakers.
I won't generalize with "shaved". Trimmed can be quite nice, different strokes.
|
|
I'm due september the 7th when was roughly my conception date my ultra sound also said I was 15 weeks 1 day on the 17th march 2011 do I count back them many weeks to get my conception date? (link)
| |
Roughly. Actually we just found out my wife is like 7-8 weeks, doctors told us they can't narrow down the exact day of start or finish.
|
|
Well, I'm 14 and I'm not really sure how to go about this so please bear with me. My mom is thinking about getting an abortion. For awhile she was really sick so we went to the hospital and found out that she's pregnant with twin. I was SHOCKED but happy nonetheless. I already love those two as much as I love my little brother (he's one). I honestly thought my mom was happy too but I guess not because she dropped the bomb today that she was thinking about abortion. Now, my mom has A LOT of medical issues going on, most of which I don't even really know. However I do know that she has fibromyalgia (a type of arthiritis) and she had to have surgery on her stomach more than once :\ Both of her pregnancies (mine and my brother's) were high risk, but we came out pretty healthy (despite our asthma). She's no longer with the man that gave birth to my brother. But she's got me, and the rest of our family for emotional support. So, I guess what I'm trying to ask is: how can I get her to say no to abortion? Thanks :) (link)
|
This is your mother's choice.
You really aren't capable of understanding the decision right now, the issues at hand, but the closest I can get to helping you get it is this.
Imagine if she dies in childbirth (and with a high risk pregnancy, possibly losing the twins in the process anyway) and suddenly it's just you and your brother?
She doesn't have a stable father figure. She has a 1 year old in the house. Even with family support, a single mom with two newborns and a 2 year old is a burden few people are functionally capable of bearing.
Your job is to be strong for your mother. You're old enough to get that she needs your help already, and to get that as a woman with two children this decision is immeasurably painful for her to face.
Support her _whatever_ her decision. She needs that of you, and she deserves it. Whatever her opinions and whatever yours of abortion, this is something that she is going to feel absolutely horrible about even if she chooses to have the kids. You need to be understanding, you need to try to think about this pretending you are a mother who is uncertain about her own health who is trying to do everything she can to take care of the two kids she already has and to make sure she's alive to see them grow into adults and keep loving them.
You're obviously a loving person. It takes a loving mother, especially single mother, to turn out a kid who reacts to situations like this with the openness you already have shown.
Show a little more of that openness now. She needs her daughter to believe in her, to trust her judgment, and to tell her that no matter what happens, you understand and you love her.
Even if it's not true now. Trust me, someday you will. Someday, if you keep a close relationship with her, she might share with you some of the pain she's feeling. I promise you, you aren't the only one who loves those two, and she's probably feeling quite alone and like she carries the world on her shoulders.
The only thing you need to do right now is make damn sure she knows she isn't alone.
|
|
Hi I'm a guy and recently I had sex with two different partners. With the first girl, we used condoms and I got blowjob and sex afterwards. However, with the second girl, being drunk, we both gave oral without condoms and used condoms after for sex. From the looks of it, she gets around pretty often. And it's been about five days since I had sex with her and I have a very small red bump about quarter of an inch below my lower lip. I'm still pretty young so sometimes i get pimples, but this seem to be bit different looking than pimples. Could this be herpes? If so, which type of herpes could this be? What kind of things should i avoid doing for awhile? And would there ever be cure for herpes? (link)
| |
No, five days later it is not herpes.
|
|
brain tumor-i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, we are close as can be and the perfect oppasites attract, oppasites in absolutly everything but we have the best time ever together bein stupid n playful our smiles just dont disappear. but his family has forbidded me to see him for two weeks so far. He was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor and they say he wont live past 40 and no clue when he may die..he acts just the same as always, all into sports and happy. the news crushed me though, i was in depression before it but now life just seems halted. i lost my aunt and baby cousin this summer too i just cant accept the chance of loosing him he is my absolute everything. i need help handling this for either of us? what to do to be in his arms again cause hes banned from me? i dont wana leave his side but i cant even be by his side, what do i do for or about anything im just lost? i can just curse at the sky and cry for days (link)
|
If you want to be with him (and it sounds like you do)personally, I'd go up to his family and say something like "You can all go fuck yourselves, I love him too and the only one of you with any right to tell me to leave is him. If he wants me here I'm staying and you can't do a goddamn thing to stop me" and then walk past them into the house to see my partner.
Feel free to be more gentle about it and avoid the profanity or outright defiance, but that kind of shit would make me angry. I'm married, and there's not a goddamn person who would have kept me from my wife even before we were married (nor her from me).
If you love him and you want to stand by him, assert that. Not just express, assert. "This is what I am want to do, where I want to be" instead of "please will you let me?" or something similar.
|
|
Can anyone tell me what legit online job I can do at 17 years old. Please give me the website. I really do appreciate the help. (link)
|
You have to ask here because you couldn't find anything yourself. You couldn't find anything yourself because there are no legit online jobs.
Telecommuting is not the same as an "online job". People who work from home either manage an online business of some kind (usually that they started up themselves) or do web development work or have some kind of genuine career they got an education for that is flexible enough to allow them like being one of several types of lawyer and not having to show up to the office on days you aren't meeting with any clients.
The below being a pretty good example of starting your own business. "Can you make a great product yourself and do everything required to get it into the hands of someone who will pay money for it? We have a website to help you advertise!"
|
I met a guy back in October.. told him that I wasn't ready for a relationship. Then somehow by staying friends and hanging out.. we are now a couple. He tells me that his life would be bleak and crushed if I weren't in it. I don't feel the same. HE is 29 and I'm 32 years old.
The BIGGEST issue(among others)is I have no physical attraction to him, just void for me. Now when I do see him.. I am constantly getting sick to my stomach because I just can't handle being around him anymore.
To make matters worse.. he's a truck driver at the place I work.. so I'll see him at least twice a week no matter what.
What do I say to break it off without actually haven't to say that "I'm not attacted to you" or that the physical attraction is missing?? I know he's going to ask why.. plus how do I break up with him and still remain decent considering I will have to see him in my work week?
Thank you for your help from the bottom of my heart. -Christie (link)
|
Lie.
I've never met anyone, including myself, who can maturely handle a declaration like that from a stranger. It's anecdotal, but I've met alot of people.
He is not a stranger. You said "break it off" which means rather than having an unknown question answered you're contradicting a basic assumption he has about your relationship.
Come up with something. Pretend to be emotionally unstable, give him a three sentence explanation, say you think you might like girls more than guys and don't feel comfortable exploring it while you have a boyfriend, actually take this opportunity to explore your bisexual side if it's there, anything other than "I find you unattractive"
It's about the only truth I think is better left unsaid. Anything, including dead silence, is better.
|
|
if your byfriend call you a bitch and said fuck you what can i do should i live him? (link)
|
If you're genuinely upset by it, probably yeah.
If you want to you can tell him you don't like it and that he needs to stop and see if he does. Given this sites age average he could be a douchebag or he could be a man/boy-child who doesn't know how to behave himself and is imitating his parents relationship skills or something similar.
Your judgment. Relationships are alot more about what each of you is ok with than some universal standard of ok.
|
|