|
I have a friend who is confusing me... is he gay or straight?
19/M
I have this friend who is two years younger than. He is really cute, and I had a huge crsuh on him for a while, but he told me that he was straight so I just dropped it. Well, our conversations are almost always about sexual topics. We have talked about a lot of things. And he asked me to send him a pic of myself. And he knows I am gay, and I was just joking and said "Do you want me to be naked with a boner? Lol!" And his reply was "Kinda." And I was just thrown for a loop. I mean, I sent him one and he said he was going to use it to masturbate with, and I jokingly asked him for a nude shot and he just went with it and sent me a nude of himself with an erection. I was so stunned! I mean, I liked what I saw and it made me kinda start to think I should try to talk to him. Then I asked him, "Ok, I have asked you this before, but are you into guys?" And he replied, "No, it is just what I jack off to. I am not into guys, it just what I like to jack off to." And then he went to bed. I am so confused by all of this. He is a cute sweet guy and we have the same morals. I want to pursue a relationship with him, but he says that he is straight, he just likes to jack off to guys. I am so confused by all of this! Any advice??
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Ask him if he's gay or straight then if he says he's gay then go out with him and if he's straight tell him that you should see other people
]
He probably doesn't know.
Or he might know, one way or the other, and just be screwing with you for fun.
However, a guy who says to you or to the world, that he is straight, is not one you can possibly have a relationship with. Doesn't matter so much what 'the truth' is, or how sweet and compatible you feel you are. If that is what he says, then the only possible outcome is heartbreak and embarrassment for you.
Look elsewhere for romance. This guy is either not interested, not ready, or is seeking to mindfuck you for his own entertainment. Doesn't matter which of the three it is: None of them is worth the risk to your heart.
It doesn't sound like you know him well enough to have a 'serious confrontation' with him about his sexuality. He doesn’t sound open to any deep or genuine discussions of his sexuality. It also sounds like this is a predominately or solely online friendship - which is something you should always be sceptical of.
Be wary. Very wary. At best, this is the behaviour of a confused boy who doesn’t know better. At worse, it’s the behaviour of an online collector and user.
]
This guy is playing with you.
It sounds like he IS gay, but doesn't want to be out to the world. He wants to get his sexual pleasure from male images but then be straight, at least to everyone else.
He doesn't know himself yet, and if he isn't sure with his sexuality then he isn't ready to be in a relationship with you.
I wouldn't give in to his requests for nude pics or sexual chats, because it seems like he is just using you.
You can try to have a serious conversation with him about this, but him accepting his sexuality, whatever it is, will have to come in it's own time.
Good luck,
-Abby
]
Aww shit.
Closeted. Totally closeted. I'm bi and was brought up Christian and homophobic and definitely went through the "I don't like guys I just think the male form can look great" phase.
You can't push him into something he's in denial about. All you can do is likely provoke confrontation, which might get him to realize whats up but also will kill any chances that he'd date you anyway.
But probably not. Everyone works differently but it took me four or five years from the point he's at to really admit it to myself and start to try to be OK with it.
Part of it's the identification that he has to be straight or gay. I'm bi and my wife is about to have a kid with me. I find guys very attractive but if you put a hot girl on the left and a hot guy on the right I'll still spend 90 percent of my time looking left.
It's funny, because knowing I like guys didn't stop me from being completely happy having married a girl, but having accepted that part of me helps me feel just a little more like a whole person than I used to, which is never a bad thing.
Also, I'm sorry, but the average guy's ass is just so much nicer than the average girls. Boobs just trump all.
]
More Questions: |