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how do i handle my boyfriends diagnosis of a deadly brain tumor
brain tumor-i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, we are close as can be and the perfect oppasites attract, oppasites in absolutly everything but we have the best time ever together bein stupid n playful our smiles just dont disappear. but his family has forbidded me to see him for two weeks so far. He was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor and they say he wont live past 40 and no clue when he may die..he acts just the same as always, all into sports and happy. the news crushed me though, i was in depression before it but now life just seems halted. i lost my aunt and baby cousin this summer too i just cant accept the chance of loosing him he is my absolute everything. i need help handling this for either of us? what to do to be in his arms again cause hes banned from me? i dont wana leave his side but i cant even be by his side, what do i do for or about anything im just lost? i can just curse at the sky and cry for days
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If you want to be with him (and it sounds like you do)personally, I'd go up to his family and say something like "You can all go fuck yourselves, I love him too and the only one of you with any right to tell me to leave is him. If he wants me here I'm staying and you can't do a goddamn thing to stop me" and then walk past them into the house to see my partner.
Feel free to be more gentle about it and avoid the profanity or outright defiance, but that kind of shit would make me angry. I'm married, and there's not a goddamn person who would have kept me from my wife even before we were married (nor her from me).
If you love him and you want to stand by him, assert that. Not just express, assert. "This is what I am want to do, where I want to be" instead of "please will you let me?" or something similar.
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Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry to hear this :( These kinds of news are never easy to handle.. but hey, we/I am here for you and I want to help. I've never lost anyone close to me before, but I've dealt with some issues in my life that I thought would be the end of the world for me. Nobody said life would be easy.. they just said it would be worth it. I'm not sure how old you are, but people tend to think that the world will end when something bad happens. For example- when I lied to my parents and they caught me and punished me for a long time, I thought the world was ending and I was so negative all the time. But what you need to realize is that life goes on. You can't stop life in its tracks. It will always be moving no matter what happens. Another thing you need to realize is that you need to take it 1 step at a time. I know its tough. One of my issues is that I tend to get overwhelmed when I look at ALL of my problems. But i'm learning to take it 1 step at a time. Conquer 1 problem at a time and eventually over time all of the problems will be gone. You can't solve everything over night. It will take time, patience, and effort.
Another thing you can do is let him know you're there for him no matter what. One time i was hospitalized. My friends came to visit me and got me gifts like flowers, teddy bears, get well cards. None of those things made me feel better.. the only thing that made me feel better was when my boyfriend held my hand and said he would always love me and always be there for me. Try doing that for your boyfriend. yes it is nice to get him some gifts, but most importantly just let him know how much he means to you.
It even harder that you can't be by his side. But you know what? Life is a giant obstacle course. Its a test to see how much you can handle. don't let 1 problem get in your way of figuring life out. Not being there by him physically is a little problem, but it shouldn't stop you from letting him know you're always there for him.
I'll leave you with 1 last thought. Life is tough. But its not about WHAT happened.... its about HOW you dealt with the situation. So instead of sitting there feeling all sorry.. stand up and take it 1 step at a time. Hold your head high, be brave, and know that any obstacle thrown at you is a test to see how much you can handle. Whenever I have a problem, I always tell myself this- "I am fearless. I am strong. I am courageous. I can overcome any obstacle in life. What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger"
Again, I'm so sorry to hear about this. I will pray for him to get better and for you too.
Edit** To cherish it.. there's not much you can do besides realize that everything happens for a reason and know that its life. You can't always control everything, and sometimes you just need to accept the fact and learn from it. Cherish him and the time you have with him, because one day it could be over, and you'll want to look back with happiness and no regrets. Embrace it.
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