A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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Last night I attended a local theatrical production and encountered a first-time situation for which no one had a solution.
The problem is that this is an intimate theatre with only about 60 seats: no one would be further from the stage, or any other patron, than about 25 feet.
One of the patrons had an incredibly strong odor about her person. This was not just one's run-of-the-mill body, tobacco, or food odor, but was
akin to a mix of human body odor, skunk, stockyard, and cat urine. The odor was overwhelming to the entire theatre, there was no safe haven.
No one wanted to be seated anywhere near this patron. The cast as well as everyone in the audience (except the offender) was visibly irritated and suffering.
Is there any proper way to address this situation? As a patron should I have made a comment? Should the management of the theatre have taken any action?
What could be done in the future if this patron returns?
Thank you for your advice.
Sincerely,
(contact info removed, please don't identify yourself in questions.) (link)
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Theres really not alot you can do.
Ask for your money back or a raincheck for a different showing. Talk to a manager of the location and explain the situation and see if they are willing/able to do anything.
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my boyfriend asked me to marry him but i thought i was under age so i said i cant then he asked to get engaged to me and i dont know what to say
im 15 and hes 16 is it ok or not?
(link)
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Say no.
No couple who were dating at 15 and 16 who "got engaged" at that age has ever actually had a successful relationship (that Ive ever heard of or witnessed)
Children, in their desire to see themselves as more adult, often imitate adult behavior. That is what you guys are doing. You want to feel grown up so you imitate making a commitment that you dont actually understand and arent able to relate to.
The answer to the question "will you marry me" should be "if we're still together when Im 25"
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my parents are literally forcing me to go places I don't want to go and do things I don't want to do. All the time. 24/7. I am seriously getting sick of it. My sister doesn't have to go anywhere she doesn't want to only because she doesn't want to.
Like now, for example. My family JUST got back from tubing in this river which was supposed to be only one hour long, but turned out to be six hours. Then we went to a family reunion which was seriously boring because I sat in the same place for 4 or 5 hours doing nothing.
And now, I am FORCED to get up early and FORCED to go to a water park all day with cousins that I don't even like, and FORCED to spend the night with them. No options.
What I'm trying to ask is, can my parents just take complete control over my life like that and force me to do whatever they want me to do? And also, what can I say to my parents to get out of the water park tomorrow?
They are seriously wasting my time... It's getting so old. Please help me! (link)
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On the one hand, talk to them. Tell them you want to do some of your own things.
On the other hand, nothing they have "forced" you to do is really that bad. In fact, I would love to have people telling me "You have to go tubing with us, and then to a waterpark tomorrow"
But thats just me.
It also sounds to me like this is not 24/7. You only provided recent examples, I think perhaps you are blowing this a bit out of proportion. Talk to them. See what comes of it.
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this sounds stupid but if you have sexual intercourse (like the penis going into the vagina even a little bit) but the guy doesn't finish, are you considered a virgin? like if you were one before. (link)
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By every definition of losing your virginity Ive ever heard of, no, you are not a virgin after that.
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14/f
I'm a flirt, and I love being with guys and just being out there and fun. But the problem is..I've never really made out with a guy. Everytime I get the opportunity, I just clench up and kindof freak out. It's kindof like I don't know what to do, and I just don't wanna deal with it. Most people don't believe that I haven't been to THIRD, let alone first. Am I prude for being like this? I don't know what to do, cause everytime I could hook up with someone I feel all shaky and strange. (link)
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A prude is generally considered to be someone who thinks that certain things are wrong or immoral.
You're just nervous
They arent the same thing.
Take things slowly, if you really arent ready to try something, dont. Its not your job to be what your friends think you are or should be. Its not your job to do things you arent ready for just because someone might think you are a prude or say so just to get you to do something you dont want to yet.
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i weigh around 134 and im 5'7, i know im not overweight but i feel really fat and ugly. like my butt is flat and gross -> real gross. my tummy has a little extra baggage so if i wear tight shirts it looks horrible.. what excersizes can i do to fix up my butt and stomach?
(link)
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Walk, light jog, and swim.
Swimming is a great full body exercize, if you swim some laps you use muscles you didnt know you had, walking is just a great way to burn some calories.
Also, if possible, cut down on the red meat and try to eat a little more fish. Fish have some very good fatty oils that actually aid in weight loss rather than just stacking up like the fat from red meats.
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im 16/f and my boyfriend is 19/m. we have been together for 11 months now. i am a virgin, and plan to stay that way until i get married, but my boyfriend on the other hand isnt. he always tells me he loves me and will wait for as long s i need. but we still fool around. but the problem is, i dont do much foolin around. cause idk what to do. i mean he gets blue balls all the time and i feel bad because i dont know how to fix that problem..i meani know a hj or a bj would do the job but i dont know how to give a hj or a bj. please help me...he gives me pleasure all the time, i want to return the favor. (link)
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First, its going to take experience more than anything. Every guy is different, likes different things, and has different areas that excite more than others. Only by exploring are you going to find them.
Im not going to give you specific blowjob instructions. If you want to try it, then just try it. He knows you dont know what you're doing, tell him to feel free to give you a little guidance. Often.
Remember that gentle touch is often the most sensual.
Touch him all over. Neck, back, shoulders, chest, stomach, even his legs can be erogenous if you touch them the right way. Be soft and gentle.
Types of touch to try.
Kissing- Kissing is a unique sensation. It can be varied from quick pecks on his shoulders to softer kisses on his neck, and its always hot when you use a tiny bit of tongue while kissing.
Rubbing - Fingertips, or palms of your hands for more firm touch, can be amazingly relaxing.
Nails - Running your nails lightly along his back can raise goosebumps.
Licking - You dont want it to be very wet. You arent wetting him down,but a light tongue touch can be very, very sexy.
The entire body can be a turnon if rubbed or touched the right way, even with the right attitude. Make him feel like he turns you on and show him that you are turned on and he will love it, and it doesnt really matter what you do, he will enjoy it all.
And once again, dont be afraid to try anything. Even if you get technical instructions (this isnt the best website for it) you are still going to have no experience. Everyone has to start somewhere, so just start when you feel comfy and watch the teeth.
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i dont understand bjs. im immature i guess but why put your mouth where the other person pees? its kind of weird. (link)
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You will understand it someday. Dont worry about it until you happen upon the knowledge.
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Background: I'm East Indian but born in America, but my parents were immigrants to this country. I've always been loyal to my family, but its almost like they are determined to sabotage any happiness in my life.
The girl I was going to marry- they hated b/c she wasn't Indian or up to their standards, and made my life and hers such a living hell that she had to leave. I love her still, but I know that my parents will never accept her.
I'm debating if I should just bid my parents and my family goodbye and try to find myself? My parents were arranged and they expect the same for me. I don't want that, but I'm torn b/c I'm loyal to my family but I want to be in love when I get married.
This pain of conflict is tearing me apart inside, that I've started drinking too much at times and maybe taking some other pharmaceuticals to relieve the pain (ie vicodin, percocets).
I still love her and I don't think that I'll ever get over the girl I was going to marry.
(sorry if this doesn't make sense, but i'm a bit drunk while writing this). (link)
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There is nothing in the world, nothing your family can give you, no amount of love and care, will help you when you are lying next to a woman you dont love who is your wife and feeling alone in the world.
I come from a roman catholic family. Our traditions are different, but no less strong. And not so different in the area of family approving of you, or your potential spouse. I understand very well the potential for permanent estrangement. I am not on speaking terms with anyone in my family. They disapprove both of my life and of the company I keep. They refuse to have anything to do with me until I am the person they want me to be.
Your parents decided to allow themselves to be arranged in marriage. They were ok with that. You are not. And for someone who desires romantic love there could be no worse existence than one completely devoid of it.
Tell your parents to fuck off and go after the girl you love. You will regret it if you do not, probably for the rest of your life. Find yourself a partner that you approve of, make her the center of your world, and with that accomplished move on to tackle the rest of your life. I will tell you from experience that life in all its aspects is better when you go to bed and curl up next to the woman whom you want to spend the rest of your life with, and whom wants the same with you.
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my boyfriend is a total jerk. he dosnt say hi to me anymore. he hangs up on me swears at me is violent to me says he dosnt care about me nemore as much as he did says he hates seen me gets ppl to tel me hes not were he is so i dont come see him. says he hates seen me and that he dreads it says that im on the bottum of his list of prioirtys. he dumped me and said he was treating me bad so i wud break it of with him but then he wanted me back. hes grabbed my throat and said hel hit me. he tells people he dosnt want to be with me and im annoying and wishes i would dissapear. altho we hav a serious relashionshop and hav dated for about a year hes gettin himself into serious trouble and been arrested and charged and drinking every night. i love him so much and my biggest fear is that he wil cheat on me. i dont think he loves me neither do any of my friends. i just have alot of fun with him on weekends even tho he ignored me and yells at me for anything and everything i dont have the power to break it off PLEASE HELP ME IM DESPEREATE iv talked to him about it so many times and he gets mad and tells me to fuck off! (link)
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Even if you cant do better, theres got to be a more appealing side-grade...
Someone with issues you can handle a bit more easily, like some guy who collects and catalogs mushrooms or something.
Drop him.
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okay im 16/f and i met this boy he's 22 on myspace and he lives in the same city where i live katy,tx and i met him and seemed really nice. but i mean he still is nice and i've gotten to know him over the week. and we started dating. but i feel like he doesn't really like me. because like on myspace he'll tell me im beautiful and on the phone he'll tell me that plus i love you. but the first time we met we were dating he just hugged me and kissed me. but he didn't say i love you and that im beautiful. and i sent him a message on myspace that if he really likes me that he needs to start showing it. he just read my message but didn't say anything. oh and i called him like 10 times today but he doesn't pick up. i've noticed that when i call sometimes he won't pick up. and we're suppose to meet at the park today around 3. and i don't want to break-up with him so what should i do? And also and whenever i talk to him he's like uh huh okie dokie or yeahh. i don't feel like i can talk to him or connect with him. what should i do?
(link)
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You arent together yet. You're probably suffocating him. You met him once, you cant expect him to actually say "I love you" with any real conviction. Its alot easier to say that stuff over a myspace message thats not even neccesarily in real time.
Hes not going to act the same in person as online. He has to get used to you. Callin him 10 times a day and him not answering is a sign.
You should probably move on.
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hi, well my freind has been having family problems, and today he told me that he prayed a lot to god, to sort it out and what not, and when he got home, he told me that they were sorting it out, and it was getting better. is this the work of "the allmighty" or just a quencidence, because im not fully persuaded? what do you guys think? thanks (link)
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God helps those who help themselves.
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After many people have told me that I should keep doing what I am doing, (posing as a 13 year old girl on chat sites, tracking and logging potential sexual predators), I have decided to keep doing it.
I even started a website about it, and I modeled it after, perverted-justice.com. On my site, I show the chat conversations and I give the predator's MSN screen name.
Some people have told me it's wrong to give out these people's MSN addresses. Someone even said I could get into a lot of trouble, or arrested for it. But shouldn't I be allowed to put potential predator's screen names up to warn people? They're the ones that started talking to an alleged 13 year old. What do you think? (link)
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It is not a good idea.
It exposes you to backlash. Your website can be traced back to you.
If you want to do something like that do it within the frame of an organization, that way the organization is as far as they can back trace whats going on. Setting out on a personal vendetta is a good way to get someone in through a window at 4 am trying to find your bedroom.
Seriously.
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Does anyone know who is asking this question but me , or is the info who i am private? Thanks :D (link)
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I can see into your very soul.
Whoever you are.
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Okay well im a 14 year ols female and my boyfriend think we are ready to have sex and i was wondering , what do you think i can do to pleaseure him (link)
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Id reccomend starting with a scalp massage, working down to a shoulder massage, then have him lie down on his stomach and walk on his back, just be careful not to put your full weight on his spine.
Seriously though, dont have sex. If you're coming here to ask us questions like this you are nowhere near ready.
Go read every word on coolnurse.com, then come back and ask for more instructions.
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okay so im only thirteen. but yesterday or two days ago..i dont remmeber...my boyfriend and i made out for the first time, and he really liked it and i did too i guess but he kept making out with me in public or like in front of his friends, and i dont know if hes because he really wants to make out with me, or he wants to show off to his friends. and i dont like to make out with him in front of people, because i dont really like having an "audience", but at the same time i dont mind because i love kissing him. how should i tell him that and how should i figure out if hes just trying to show off or not? (link)
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Tell him no in public. If he has any kind of a problem with it its because he is showing off.
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22/f
i live with my boyfriend and we're sexually active. lately i've had a really high sex drive and its been going on for about two weeks now. whenever me and my boyfriend have sex i'll normally orgasm but then ten minutes later i want to have sex again and my boyfriend is always too tired to do it. so i normally go and masturbate. i don't want to masturbate if i have a boyfriend. what can i do to make him last longer or what can i do to calm my hormones after sex? (link)
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1) Build him up to it. Sometimes guys take warming up too. If you spend a while turning him on before the sex begins hes going to be more aroused.
2) Give him a little time in between. About 5 minutes. Especially if he has an orgasm himself.
3) Reseduce him. Let him lay there exhausted and just have fun with him. Play with him, rub him, kiss him all over. Get him aroused again (which is thankfully easy to tell with guys, youre lucky =p) and just get him back in the mood.
4) I cant think of a guy Ive met who would object to laying on his back and having his girlfriend do the work. This can be an extension of #3
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I'm 18/f he's 21/m. My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for over a year now. Yesterday we tried a new position and if made me queef (I think that's what it's called). Anyway the point is I was really embarassed about it. My boyfriend is sweet and said he didn't care, but I don't know. Does that kind of thing gross guys out? (link)
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Guy perspective?
Nah, we really dont care at all.
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okay. 15/f. is it normal for a 15 year old teenage girl to fantasize about having sex with women? because whenever I think about a man and a woman having sex, I get grossed out. But the other way around (people of my own gender) I'm fine with that. does that necessarily mean that I am a lesbian?? Or do all teens go through this 'stage'?
0.o? (link)
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Youre 15 years old.
In all probability you dont know exactly what you like yet. And even when you figure it out, its subject to change as you get older.
Stop worrying about it so much.
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To Start with I am Female and 16. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 months now and he has brought up having sex quite a bit recently. Me and him are both virgins and he seems pretty keen to get it over and done with. I am worried however, not because i don't think i'm ready, but because i was wondering whether I should shave down there because he would prefer it or should i just leave it? I keep getting told different things. Some of my friends says it shouldn't matter, but then a majority of people I have spoken to said that guys prefer it to be shaved. Does anyone know what guys prefer? (link)
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Shaving isnt a great idea. Between ingrown hairs and razorburn it can be quite unpleasant for both parties.
Best idea is to get a trimmer and keep it relatively short.
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