Hello, my name is Sam. There's a lot that I can say about myself, but if you'd like that then you could always message me and we can have a nice cup of tea together :D
I am not very old, so I might not have too much life experience, but I do like to help people. I know that life often throws unexpected blows at people, but I am so extremely optimistic. Hopefully some of my optimism will rub off on the people to whom I am giving advice. I am happy to help with anything! :)
Gender: Female Location: California Age: 17 Member Since: February 24, 2007 Answers: 477 Last Update: October 17, 2011 Visitors: 29153
Main Categories: Love Life Friendship View All
Favorite Columnists GilbertMar xcheerbabex108 yarmica seriouslyteenangel LoveMeDo runawayxlove
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16/f
i never sweat anywhere in my body other than on the palms of my hand and the soles of my feet. it's a problem. it could be the coldest day of the year and they'll still be sweating like crazy. i pretty much try to avoid holding hands with guys as much as possible cause they feel all clammy and it's so embarassing. so i'm not really all that worried about the feet. but does anyone know what i could do about my hands? sometimes i'll be sitting at a table with my hands on it and when i lift them up they'll leave sweat marks, that's how bad it is. haha so please help!! (link)
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You probably have hyperhydrosis. My brother has it, and its a condition where you sweat excessively from your palms and feet. If you go to your doctor he can prescribe a baby powder-like substance which helps you sweat less. Hope that works for you. :)
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I'm 17/m
at the beginning of this semester we got this new guy in our class. he calls himself and emo and wears skinny jeans and even eyeliner. he doesnt have many friends. I started talking to him and hes actually really nice and i think i'm starting to get feelings for him?! i think about him all the time when im not with him and when i am i sometimes just feel like kissing him and taking him into my arms. i just dont know how to handle this. I'm pretty much the only person he talks to but i dont think he's gay coz he always checks out girls. ive never had feelings for a guy before so im not used to this. ive never had a real girlfriend and never had deep feelings for anyone except for him? hes not really manly and seems like he often needs protection. hes also pretty like a girl. so do i feel attracted to him because of that? i think im falling in love here.
im really scared to tell him how i feel coz it might ruin our friendship. im his only friend and hes always happy to see me i mean he never smiles except for when hes talking to me. does that means something?
i dont even CARE about what others might think. hes just more important
i need advice FAST (link)
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I think you are gay. My best friend realized he was gay a few years ago. At first he said he never really liked too many girls, then one day he too met a guy and completely fell in love with him. Being gay is something that is obviously not easy to tell someone, especially if you're afraid it might ruin your friendship. I think if I were you, I'd try to be certain whether or not he is gay. Maybe you could mention something with regards to being gay in general. Like how he feels about it and whether he knows anyone who is, ect. Maybe in one of your conversations with him you will discover something you didn't know about him. Or you might just confirm that he is strait. If he is strait, then take it from me, it's much better to try to move on. I was nearly in love with my best friend (who's gay) so obviously he never liked me back and it really hurt me. That is a situation that you don't want to be in. As for being gay, I really hope that there is someone close to you that you can confide in. Maybe you could tell this friend that you are gay, without telling him that you like him. I'm certain that if he really is your friend he will support you. And one day you'll be able to tell everyone. I hope I helped you and if you need anything I'm always happy to help. :)
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14/female
ok, i dont think a guy had ever liked me,well aleast i never knew it so i want a guy to like me. any tips or ideas?? i know flirting is a sure way but after a while you have to step it up.... (link)
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:)
Well it helps if you aren't really shy, because it's hard to talk to someone who doesn't really talk. Anyways, always be open and friendly. Let the beauty that you have within you show through. Whatever it is that you are good at: sports, school, music, ect, be proud of that special part of you. Comb your hair, dress how love to dress, and be happy and optimistic about life. Nothing is more attractive to a decent guy than a girl who loves herself for exactly who she is. Happy attracts happy and insecure attracts insecure, so be what you want in a guy. And plus, you'll be happy too. I wish you only the best.
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14/f
Ok I've liked this guy for quite awhile now. My friends boyfriend found out I liked him. I deny it but he went and told the guy I like I like him. He still talks to me but its...idk weird. Her boyfriend said he will tell him I don't like him. I don't exactly know what to do. Now I'm so nervous to even be around him. He still jokes around but her boyfriend said, "pick on her" so yeah. I don't know what to do! I don't even know what my question is! I need help. Its bugging me so much because I really do like him but I'm not freakishly obsessed but I like him. Please help. Thanks so much! (link)
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I get how it can be really awkward when someone knows you like them. But did your friend's boyfriend say whether or not the guy likes you too? Because if he does then it really just means you should hang out more since you both like eachother. But if he doesn't like you, then pretend like this whole thing never happened. Try your best to be completely normal around him and make him think that you really don't like him anymore. And eventually you will stop liking him.
A week ago, I really liked this one guy, who I had liked for like a month or so, but then I found out that he might/does like someone else. So I told myself that I wasn't going to make a big deal about it and that I would just try to stop liking him. So basically, I haven't been avoiding him, but just not exactly trying to be around him all the time. I want him to see that I have no feelings for him. That way hopefully if we ever become good friends it won't be awkward. I hope I helped you.
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okay so this weekend was crazyyy! parties were wild and they were in cities that are half an hour and over an hour away! well I met this guy on friday at the party and we've been talking ever since then. he told me and my friend that we should go to the party Sunday and long story short he wanted us both and he wouldn't make up his mindd! so Sunday I got wasted and was all over the guy and a lot of them were all over me, prob is this guys a player apparently and he prob just wants action but he says to me that he likes me and stuff so I really dk what to do I really want to believe him but at the same time I can't bc I'm prob not the only girl he says this to. he said he wants to see me soon and that he wants to kissme and that we should do shots tg and get naked he says he's jk but he didnt take advantage of me at the party so idk, there are so many details and so much drama went on this weekend and even though I know this guy prob just wants action I can't stop thinking about him! what should I do? :( we live only a half hour away from each other and hes 18 I'm 16 I left out way too many details though but I just kinda needed to vent to people who know nothing about the situation and see what they think!
thank you for your helpp!
(link)
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I think that sometimes parties and drama create confusion that would otherwise not be there. Let's say you knew a guy at school was a player and he expressed interest in you, but there is still that doubt. I'd say just in terms of the age difference and the whole weird "lets get naked joke" that it just seems too forced. Isn't the idea of a sweet guy who really appreciates you and takes the time to get to know you a lot better than that of a guy who has a history of sweet talking girls? I believe that there IS a better guy for you out there and that you should never settle for a guy who seems even a little questionable. I know he was probably really nice to you, but like you said that's probably just his strategy. You are a beautiful person inside and you deserve someone who truly respects that beauty and wants nothing more than to love you for who you are.
So, I think you should try to get him out of your mind. Just remember where you were before this weekend, and try to go from there.
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Ok... the last time I had sex, the guy did something that I'd never experienced before. He rubbed my clit over and over. Other guys had just fingered me, moving their fingers in and out of my vagina... It might sound weird, but I needed to ask him to stop because it felt like I was about to explode or pee myself haha It felt sooo amazingly good, but I kept moving myself away from him because I couldn't handle it... I've never experienced anything like it. If I had held on, would I have orgasmed? Or would I have peed on him? lol And how do I hold on? haha
x (link)
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Yes, you would've had one. You wouldn't have peed. I think that holding on would have been hard but just try your best haha. It'll pay off.
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so on friday i hung out with my friends at a football game and was with this kid john* so me and john* were hanging out too. and if i went somewhere he would come too. and he kept going in my pockets and taking my phone and camera. and i was freezingg. so he kept asking me if i was cold so naturally, i said yes and i got a big hugg. and that happened alott. :] so i like john* then i didnt see him before i left :[ and when i was walking out i was with my friend devin* and devin* had his arm around me but we are just friends. but i did like him before, but don't now. i dont think he likes me and in front of us was my other friend joe* and he was with me and john* before and now he sees me with devin*? so idk if joes* going to tell john* or not. and idk if john* will find out and be madd. so i have a class with him tomorrow too but its a silent study. and my friend kelly* is in all my classes so im usually waiting for her down at her locker and johns* locker is 2 over so its right theree. :]
but do you think he really likes me?
and should he be mad if he finds out about devin*?
_____* means name was changedd!
please help meeee! thanks so muchhhh! (link)
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Aww football game romance =]...my favorite. Sounds like he likes you. I don't know if Joe will tell John, but if he does it actually won't ruin anything. Tomorrow, when you see John, talk to him by your locker. Give him a hug. Just make it absolutely clear that you kind of like him. Smile so that he sees that he does have a chance with you and so that he doesn't feel like you like John. Everything will be fine tomorrow, so try not to worry. John sounds like a really cool guy. I wish you the best =]
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I am learning from buddhism to not allow circumstances to alter my emotions. Because happiness comes from within and not from external things. I am having some trouble though. Sometimes I am able to allow things to happen and they would normally make me scared to feel hurt and I don't feel that way anymore. The trouble I am having is, if someone close to me says something that hurts me, i take it to heart and i get sad and then i feel really depressed, the other thing that happens, is if i am feeling like i don't have enough money to take care of things i start to get really depressed. Now I am working with the law of attraction, and it works really well for me, but I would like to improve it by not allowing money stuff to get to me. Does anyone who is practicing these methods have any advice for me or a good book that I could read? Thank you (link)
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Hi.
I'm Buddhist and I can understand where you are coming from. :) It's okay for you to feel like your emotions sometimes take over. It happens to me too. I sometimes feel like I have no idea what is wrong with me. Dealing with criticism is especially hard, but you should remember that anything that anyone says about you should never change what you feel about yourself. The most important thing is to be completely confident in yourself and in your self worth. As far as the law of attraction, I'd recommend reading The Secret, if you haven't already. If you have you should reread it because there are key simple steps in it that will help you through your money crisis and in other areas of your life. Anyways, I find it amazing that you sound so similar to myself. I also am having self issues at the moment, especially with confidence, so I hope I may have helped you in some way. :]
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Are there any unexplainable topics that bother you?? Maybe like witches, ghosts, maybe your evil school teacher? i am doing a paper for school and need to know. (link)
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I have 3 questions.
1)Existence.
Creation. And then with creation comes the question of destruction and whether or not death leads to complete destruction (i don't believe it does)
2)The human mind.
The subconscious and its effect on the conscious mind.
3)Why? or perhaps Why not?
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So there is this guy at school and we might end up having a "thing". There are a couple problems though, i dont find him attractive at all. He also also completely not my type (i am kind of edgy and hes not at all). also at my school, status depends on how much money you have. Unfortunately he doesnt have any really. However, there is just something about him.
should i still go for it even considering these things? (link)
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Do you like him as a person?
I mean, would you be able to hang out with him for long periods of time and really find things you have in common?
If not, then this is not a good idea.
If you think you can relate to eachother then you could give it a go. But if you don't find him as "your type" then you shouldn't push yourself. There is nothing wrong with remaining friends.
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what do you do if you still like someone u broke up with (link)
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Well it depends on what kind of relationship you had. Did you just break up? And like how did you break up, and are you still friends? And who broke up with who?
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This is probably lame and a waste of your time to read, but if you want to, go ahead. I seriously think something is wrong with me. I am usually a nice person, but I feel so frustrated altely. People think Im fake cause Im like nice all the time. I know its impossible to be nice all the time, but I feel like if I be mean, then Im not making the world a better place.
Ugh, I don't know I feel so inferior to my best friend, she has all the guys and I don't. If I sound immature im sorry, its just that I wanna cry. I feel so much like crap. No guys like ever like me, the ones I like are all taken, i don't know its probably me. I was reading this phobia list and I have like every phobia that has to do with love. It makes me so upset, b/c I never been in love, I want to know what its like, but every chance I get with a great guy, I run from it. I think im crazy, i don't know why anyone would want to be with me. It probably goes back to middle school, I had something happen to me, that I can't escape. I have tried to get over it sometimes I can't but sometimes I want to hurt myself in regret. ugh. I notice that im really negative about myself but nice to everyone else. Im losing interest in singing which I love to do. I feel like i suck at everything. I have an ocd problem and sometimes it gets so intense that I feel like id be better off dead.
I know this may seem totally over dramatic, and if i was reading this about someone else Id tell them to calm down. But sometimes thats easier said then done. I don't even know what im asking, and at this point it seems so effortless.
Can anyone explain whats going on with me? I'm scared of losing myself.
thank you so much for your help, I realize that i am totally insane, so no need to mention it.
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I don't think you are being overly dramatic. I have had similar problems. I always tried to be kind to everyone, but I felt like everyone else is thought it was stupid of me to because everyone had a mean side to them. And what would happen was that the meanness that I didn't put on others, I actually ended up unleashing on myself. And that is exactly what you are doing. You are bringing yourself down because you don't take out your frustration on any other source. Wow, it's insane that you ask this because I was having this same conversation with my friend last night about me. What she told me was that I needed to tell people when something was bothering me. See sometimes, I don't like to burden people with my problems because I feel like they have their own, but I am only hurting myself by not letting my feelings out. So tell someone if you are upset. Tell your best friend that you need help, I guarantee she will do her best.
As for the relationship phobia, this issue can be challenging. I have been in one relationship, and it was awkward and didn't end well, so ever since then I haven't been able to properly show any guy who I really am. I get nervous and weird, and feel completely uncomfortable. I don't know if the same applies to you, but I do know for sure that someone would want to go out with you. You aren't completely insane, you are just going through something. All I can really say is that you have to talk about your problems, like you have done with this question. I find that when I bottle up my emotions, that is when I go crazy. I know people always say to "be yourself" around guys, but its more than that. If you meet a guy, just talk to him like you would to anyone else. If you feel like you are making a fool of yourself, don't worry, it's all completely in your head. He won't even notice. Just try to control your emotions as best as possible, and if your medical condition is really bad, then also consider seeing a doctor to possibly prescribe something that might help. I hope that I have helped you.
yay im so glad i could help you! =]
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Im 13(male) and i want to have sex. My girlfriend is willing to. But the secret is i REALLY want to have sex with my best friends mom. What should i do? (link)
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Keep it in your pants, buddy. You're 13!
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So they say if you wanna lose weight
STAY AWAY from junk food,
i mean i understand you shouldnt eat 2 MUCH.
but why wud u stay AWAY from it completely?
i mean if you lose all the weight you want then you go back and see all the food you love
and you want some ull jus gain it all back
dont you think you should have whatever you want but in small amounts? (link)
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I think the important thing about a diet is understanding that losing weight is not only so that you look better but also so that you can avoid diseases later in life. So yes, if you like certain junk food, you can eat it but not so much of it. Even once you get down a few pounds you should still be conscious of what you are eating. The important thing is to be healthy, but if you like chocolate or the occasional chips then go for it. But don't eat fried chicken everyday. Anyways I think you know the difference between healthy and not healthy.
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theres a song that goes
"im tryna tryna walk away but i know this ...(either crush or love or something) aint goin awayy away away aint goin away" whats the name and whos it by?
btw my google is all messed up and it wont make serches and i tryed metrolyrics.com and couldnt find it....thanks! (link)
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It's called Crush
and it's by David Archuleta.
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so for the first time in a long time, i really feel like all my friends have moved on from me. they either got bored, or found someone better. i am usually very confident and happy, i'm just shy with new people. i'm not sure what to do with myself anymore. also, i'm drifting from all my best friends; especially one that i've had for 11 years. (i'm 15 , shes 17). i feel like i can't relate to anyone anymore, many of my friend's changed. if anyone has gone through this, what did you do to cope? any help on this would be appreciated, thankyou so much (link)
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I understand how you feel to some extent. Last year I switched schools from all of my close friends and felt like i had absolutely no one. And I think my sadness made me kind of isolate myself from everyone else. Like I feel like they only saw that sad alone part of me rather than the real happy fun person that I know I truly am. For nearly a year I did nothing about it. But that was a huge mistake, think of all the stuff I missed out on! So I thought to myself, "I have to show people the real me. I have to forget the mistakes I've made because I can't change them anymore. I have to accept that I am no one else bu myself, and I have to be the best version of myself as possible."
So when I started school again, I talked to everyone in my classes. I tried to get more involved in clubs that really interested me and took electives that I thought would be fun. Suddenly I go from hating school to looking forward to each new day. Now, I still don't have super tight friends, but I am working on it. It's only been a week, after all. But I am trying to show people who I am, not who I think they want me to be. It took me so long to figure that out and now that I have I can honestly say that I have found happiness in myself. I hope you can do the same. The key is to do what you love and show everyone who you are. Being shy isn't really an option. Try to initiate conversations and make new friends. It will take a while, but at least know that you aren't alone, because I'll be doing it too.
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ok i probably already asked this question but i miss him badly and i try really hard to just get over him and its officially been a year since we broke up its just we went out for a year and a half on and off and he was always there for me in a time of need and i just miss talking to him.
i dont want him to like go out with me or anything i just miss us talking. he said he wanted to stay in touch and i was suprised but dont all guys say that to make it seem better and their the good guy but there not. i just dont know what to do.... CAN ANYONE HELP ME????!!!!! (link)
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Is there any way you can call him or talk to him again? If there is and you really deeply want this guy just to talk to, then I don't see why you shouldn't. The reason you miss him is beacuse you obviously spent a lot of time with him and bonded together. All good relationships are based on a strong friendship. Try to get your old friend back, unless he doesn't want the friendship, in which case leave me a message in my inbox and I can help you from there. Happy monday!
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I am going on a date with a really nice guy soon and I want to make a great first impression on the date. He knows me from work but I really want to show him a different side of me. I am really already shooting for another date after this first one, as long as everything goes smoothly and there isn't some twisted shocker by the end of it. I think I know him pretty well but I want him to be as interested in me as I am in him.
I know I need to dress nice and be polite, but I'm sure that's not all. He's never seen me outside of the work environment and I really want to wow him with myself. I am a pretty down to earth girl, and I don't do anything wild or risky (I don't drink, smoke, have sex, etc.), but I want to show him that I'm interesting.
Can anyone just tell me how to make a great first impression on a date? I mean, how in the world do you act on a date? I don't want to be pushy but I do want to show him I'm into him. What do you do on a date? How do you act on a date? Are there specific things I need to say or do while on a date? (link)
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So naturally you might be nervous. That's fine, because most people get a little nervous on dates. There are just a few key things to remember.
-First, please remember who you are. By this I mean your strengths, your hobbies, things that few people know about you, your philosophy, or anything else that is unique to you. Being able to sustain a conversation is very important during a date. When the two of you talk, you will find out pretty quickly if you are alike or not.
-Second, you should try to remain calm. This is where most people blow it. It's like as soon as they see the guy [or girl] they freak out, turn red and forget everything. If this happens to you then it's okay the date isn't over yet! Say hello and get a conversation going.
-Lastly, as for the whole "making a move" part, you should pay attention to his signs. He might like try to hold your hand or something like that and if he does you should let him. Whether or not you want to kiss him, is your choice of course so do what feels right.
I hope that you have a great time on your date and many more to come.
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Okay, i've known this girl christie for so long that i can call her my sister. I've known her since 6th grade, and since then we've hung out basically every weekend and every day during the summer. I'm apart of her family.
then this girl casey comes along [i introduced them, i was friends with casey first before christie] and she ruins our friendship/sisterhood.
well, im best friends with christie again, but not with casey. christie is having her sweet16 in december. shes putting casey on her candles BEFORE ME. that really pissed me off and i just wanted to LEAVE her house. casey is candle 7, im number 8. I told her that it pissed me off and she said suck it up. I told my sister and she said its not a big deal, but deep inside it hurts me to death that she thinks about casey before me. and her and casey havent been hanging out as much. casey is going into 9th grade, and christie and i are going into 10th. Don't you find that annoying? Imagine if your best friend dedicated a candle to someone you introduced to them first.
Is it okay that im feeling this way? jealous.. i think thats what i would call it. i told her that i should be before casey, but she just ignored me. and my friend bekki was also over and she said she doesnt know what christies deal was for that, and she found it bitchy too.
i need alot of help. i was thinking about leaving after the 6th candle goes up for the bathroom so i dont kill the girl. and come back intime for me to be called up for the 8th.
(link)
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I have personal experience with a really similar situation and I want to tell you that this is completely natural. I have two best friends that I introduced and I remember feeling just as you do right now. I even told my other friend and she would tell me that it wasn't cool that they were always together and that it was messed up. I never told them how I felt though because I was embarrassed. I think that jealousy comes from fear, fear that something is wrong with us that is making the other person want to hang out with someone who is better. It's insecurity. It probably isn't great hearing that you might be insecure but I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I honestly think that your friends care deeply about you. But you have to try to let go of the thought that she thinks about Casey more than you. You owe it to your friends to not be mad at them for unintentionally hurting your feelings. Once you get rid of the jealousy you'll find that you will be much happier and feel closer to your friends. I wish you the best.
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okay I lost my self. I use to be very understanding person and had high postive, well two summer algo i had a freind was so unpostive and betrayed by a freind and well thing is I am over it, but now and days I still have crap going on in head and getting bad thoughts. and I bored these days. I don't do alot, I babysit twice or 3 time a week, I don't drive, I am 23 years old and I have certain disbities, I live with my parents and I have freinds but not freinds i like to have now to talk to. i mean i don't want borther my friends who are in collage and have there own life it good meet new people. well thing is i want my life back I want be postive and understanding again. there a book somewhere that help your selfhelp about being understanding and staying postive alot more? or music? I know i not saying i am mean or anything. just sometimes i get cought up with my minds out no where i say things or get upset easy. and i need trust back, i lost alot trust to. thanks (link)
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I have the perfect book for you! It is called "The Secret" and it teaches you how to control your thoughts and your mind. Give it a read and I think it will really help you. It helped me when I was feeling unsure of myself. I hope I helped!
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