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Controlling Emotions
I am learning from buddhism to not allow circumstances to alter my emotions. Because happiness comes from within and not from external things. I am having some trouble though. Sometimes I am able to allow things to happen and they would normally make me scared to feel hurt and I don't feel that way anymore. The trouble I am having is, if someone close to me says something that hurts me, i take it to heart and i get sad and then i feel really depressed, the other thing that happens, is if i am feeling like i don't have enough money to take care of things i start to get really depressed. Now I am working with the law of attraction, and it works really well for me, but I would like to improve it by not allowing money stuff to get to me. Does anyone who is practicing these methods have any advice for me or a good book that I could read? Thank you
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hello!
i am really glad that you are trying to practice buddhist teachings,keep going and you will surely find good results.this whole thing about getting hurt often confuses most of us on the spiritual path,because it is a really very difficult to stay unruffled and practice equanimity,when some one close or otherwise says something to hurt you.what I would suggest is for you to use/channelise all these problems to turn even more to God.try talking to God about this problem.everyone has it in them to communicate in different ways and methods with God.try it and when he responds,you will be in bliss.complain to him,tell him,that your close friend or person or family member hurt you.in a few miutes,you will get an answer,if not in words,then in some kind of message that God will give you.the whole thing is to keep on being a good person that you already are!practice even more buddhism with sincerity,surrender to the buddha,his dharma and sangha,and remember to do some thing like sending love and good will and blessings,first to yourself,then to your close people,then to everyone.this way you will grow spiritually.be more loving,try your best to be a good listener,and do your daily duties so that no one will even have a chance to complain!be loving,cheerful all throughout your life.be nice to everyone etc.be a good strong loving link in buddhas' chain of love across the world!and remember,every single act of love or kind words or any kindness is not a waste.the other person will benefit from it.good luck!
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The delicate balance of Buddhism, and why you must carefully reconcile many teachings and not just pick & choose, is that you can:
1. ignore all emotions and be purely happy from within, not being affected by outside events
or, 2. be sensitive and compassionate to others and try to alleviate suffering by feeling and responding to it.
I have always followed the second belief, because only someone who is very well trained, who is very wise, or who is enlightened, could be purely happy from their own Knowledgeable Truth and be unaffected by suffering while still curing suffering. I'm not a monk, I'm just a layman. I would rather be sensitive to others and feel a human connection in their joy and sadness.
You worry about the words of others hurting you. The actuality is, it's their intent to cause harm, and the betrayal that is hurting you. When you don't have enough money to take care of your obligations, you feel powerless and fearful. The Buddha, unlike christ, taught that money and wealth is a Virtue. With money, people can help others and give donations to the temples. You aren't wrong to want or need it.
With the law of attraction, you may find it is at strange angles with basic Buddhism, which overall states we are reliant upon karma, we must try to escape samsara. I believe the "law of attraction" talks about just waiting for the things you need to come to you by wanting it, because the universe loves you and wants to feed you. That's a very gentle and self-serving principle, but studying Buddhism you must know that gaining wealth and prosperity without doing good acts and earning it is impossible. Living gently, being generous to others, being peaceful even to our enemies, practicing patience, avoiding the company of fools and dangerous people--all these lead to prosperity and good opportunities arise when they are followed.
I've been studying Buddhism for about 3 years now and my life has made some really major changes, all for the good. I'm sure if you are persistent you'll also find the happiness and peace of mind you're looking for.
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Hi.
I'm Buddhist and I can understand where you are coming from. :) It's okay for you to feel like your emotions sometimes take over. It happens to me too. I sometimes feel like I have no idea what is wrong with me. Dealing with criticism is especially hard, but you should remember that anything that anyone says about you should never change what you feel about yourself. The most important thing is to be completely confident in yourself and in your self worth. As far as the law of attraction, I'd recommend reading The Secret, if you haven't already. If you have you should reread it because there are key simple steps in it that will help you through your money crisis and in other areas of your life. Anyways, I find it amazing that you sound so similar to myself. I also am having self issues at the moment, especially with confidence, so I hope I may have helped you in some way. :]
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