Neetz's advice column

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Q: so far ive been in four long distance relatioships and now im in a relationshp with someone and its not long distance and its my first one that isnt but it kind of feels like it i only get to see her or talk to her every other week my other relationships didnt go so well and i want to prevent that with her because i love her
any tips would be very helpful also this is the first time ive been with a girl so any relationship advice would be great

oooooh,a guy in love!! ur gal IS the luckiest girl in the whole world!!

are you ready for what will come in the future? commitment?marriage?the best way to make her feel extremely happy,is to slowly but surely tell her,that yes,I am in love with you,i never have felt this way,and i want to be committed to you all my life.write her love letters.write everything.but only if you are sure that she is becoming serious about you...dont reveal too much too soon.

another way is to joke about it.tell her,what would you say if i said,youre the one i want for life?

this will take some time,but be very careful.dont overdo anything,and dont put too much pressure,causing her to back off.be sincere and tell her you are in love with her.any girl will be blissful,if she hears that!best of luck and god bless u both!!

Q: do you wear a bra to bed or no? (for females)

personally, i would feel uncomfortable but i just saw another question about this and i would like to keep my bras in better condition because the straps always get twisted.

no,i never wear a bra to bed,it is most uncomfortable.i sleep well without it,so i prefer it that way.

Q: I dont know if any of you know about "The Secret", a film about happiness, but I was a strong advocator and supported of the belief that we all need to be happy. Ever since 10th grade I have been a happy, upbeat, smiling person. Nothing phased me, I gave lots of advice here to others about happiness.

That was then. Now, I am about to start college at a great university, Ive already met so many people its all exciting. Yet I am so utterly stressed and miserable. I don't understand why! Actually, I do... but I dont know what to do about it.

See the thing is, I used to date this guy last year, we were together for 6 months, I loved him but wasnt head over heels or anything. We broke up june last year. I was OK. Really.

January of this year he came back to me with a million promises and I'm sorry's and i love yous. Stuff like i still love you, i cant be without you my life isn't complete etc etc. He made 1000 promises that hed changed and hed never take me for granted... i took him back.

Needless to say after enough time, he broke his many promises. He doesnt mean to but he is lazy, he is inconsiderate towards me, he does take me for granted, and weve been through SO SO much together its a little ridiculous. We were in a terrible car accident on the highway he ended up having to get surgery, and even though I was also hurt in it, I helped him heal, stayed with him through his rages of being in pain, gave him support, loved him. Now that hes getting better hes putting me in the shadows. When he was sick I understood, he was in pain, but he says the pain is making him not be the best boyfriend. Well he can do things and go out and be a certain way with other people, but not with me??? Hes so selfish and I'm constantly trying so hard to make him better because he is still healing yet I find I am so miserable in my day to day life. I'm making preparations to go to college, and have fun and I cant enjoy it to the fullest because somewhere along the lines of this relationship I lost myself. I lost my ability to be happy because I fell in love with a man that doesn't consider my feelings. He just sees his... I tell him and he reverts to the fact that hes the one in pain and hes suffering, etc. But when it comes to other things hes ok... I just dont know anymore, I had a fight with him the other day, and told him hes never going to change, and he just goes "what are you saying? you want to end it???" And i cant. I want to but I dont want to. i love him, but it hurts me to be with him... and to make it worse the other day we were at a friends birthday party and he was in pain again and because of that got drunk and i was driving him home when he started telling me how I was right, and he didnt deserve me, and i shouldn't be treated the way he treats me and all these things about how much he loved me and im an angel and hes going to change. But today, him sober, i asked if he remembered and told him what happened and hes back to his old self where only his feelings matter. My friends and family are all telling me its time to end it, and I know it, but we still both love each other SO much.... i just dont know what to do anymore... please any advice????

hi dear miss sunshine,

get rid of him.you have pinpointed clearly that he is the cause of your misery.so the best thing is to remove him totally out of your life.you will be back to normal.
the biggest problem is when a guy says I love you.and then starts using us for their selfish ends.i was a girl who never looked at guys,until one day,a guy came and said i love you!he caused me a lot of pain.i actually fell in love!u know what i did?in spite of enormous pain and heartbreak,i ditched him,within a month.
this guy isnt worth the trouble you are going thru.i mean it,and am telling you,get rid of him.otherwise,u will get more trapped,you will feel like helping him,he will say more i love yous,be inconsiderate towards you again and again,and use you to get his work done.gosh,you are smart girl,now use your brains and get rid of him.and tell me the good news!!

Q: I dont want to live.bcz of my personal problums.i want to know easy ways to die.plz tell me.

hello dear,

I have felt this way too.but be strong and get out of this feeling of sadness and hopelessness.Life is for living to the maximum,have fun,youngster!!

you can choose between 2 things...1,to be full of life ,strong,brave and positive
2,to give up.

choose the first!everyday,wake up and think,I am going to enjoy my life to the fullest today,be positive,be smiling!you can inspire so many other people,who are feeling like you!

okay,i will ask you a simple question.you feel you have a lot of problems.open your eyes wide and come to the present moment...look around you!there is nothing!so problems are just in our mind!there is no problem outside.

if you have personal problems,speak to me or someone close.I will guide you the best i can.feelings of killing oneself,come because you feel you are a bad person,or you are not good enough...believe me,you are equal to everyone on earth...the greatest ppl,the lesser ones too.there is no difference,except the effort the great ppl put!

believe in yourself for 2 minutes daily,what happens is your invisible spirit inside you gets activated.the problems will just disappear,within a day or two!!God is invisible,because everything visible is Him,so believe in Him,within or outside you.just believe ,and see miracles!!

and funny thing is,have you noticed?the problem is usually here today,and gone tomorrow!!so show it a finger,and bade it goodbye.

be brave my dear one.become someone great...you can do it!!just believe in yourself.take care,and say get lost to these feelings of 'suicide'.dont lose,be a winner.

Q: Am from Ghana, am 25 years. I had some misuderstanding with my boyfriend about a call.

It all happend, one Monday night aroud 10:30pm. I had a call from a guy who is just a friend to me. When the call came I realised that I have mistakely changed the name to female. So when I recieved the call and heard it was a male voice I was shocked, and did't no what to do at that time since it was late and I did't what us to have any problem. I answered the call by saying Hellow stweatheart, since that is the way I recieve my calls from any one that call me and moreover too didn't want to him to suspect anything. After speaking to this guy, my boyfriend ask, was it a man that called me and I told him it was a girl friend of mine. Since the person's name on the phone is female. So this guy called again in two minute again and my guy picked the call since the phone was with him. He gave the phone to me after realising that I have told him a lie since the voice was a male voice.

He told me he didn't want to have anything to do with me again that am cheater, lier, he is dissapointed in me and he don't want to see me again. And later concluded that he has broke up with me.

I have apologize to him in serval occasion but still insisting on the breakup. I really love him and I don't want to loss him.

please help me am lossing it.

This is my email address niceladyasiedu@yahoo.com

hey!

its sad that this happened...i feel you must email him with the details of the truth about what happened,as you wont be able to do it face to face,he probably cant take it.try your best to save this relationship,because its worth it.since your guy is innocent and really liked you.it shows because he was really hurt.

Q: 25/F/US

Three years ago, I met a man. Our relationship was brief but very intense... I don't entertain any delusions regarding love; I didn't know him long enough to feel such a thing. But, when I'm honest with myself, I have to admit that no man I have met since can rival him. I've never been more attracted to a person, on so many different levels, or felt myself connect with a person emotionally and mentally so quickly, so easily.

During the past few years... I've tried to move on. I've dated. I've fallen in and out love. At one point, I was even engaged to be married. I can go for months without thinking of him at all... But once he runs across my mind, he's hard to push back out again. And I can't push him out without a tremendous amount of effort, without missing him terribly.

I want for nothing more than for this to stop. Recently, I've been thinking of him and it's driving me absolutely CRAZY.

Please help me make peace with his memory. I've tried addressing the feelings of anger, rejection, sorrow, regret... I've even thought that maybe HE isn't really the problem. Maybe the problem is just that I'm lonely and remembering a better time.

They say, whoever 'they' is, that the first step of the healing process is to acknowledge the problem. I've acknowledged the problem. I've acknowledged a combination of problems.

What now?

hey!

all i can say is that we feel this kind of love-when we see the best,or the 'divine' in a person..sometimes,the person doesnt reciprocate,for some reason,we embark on guilt,and anger,and feelings of rejection.just tell yourself,you saw the best in him,and he didn't,not because it was your fault,but for various other reasons.it hasn't worked out,God has kept the best for you in the future,it is yet to come.so move on,stronger,more peaceful,and accept that you are a wonderful person yourself,and look forward to the day u find someone perfect for you,and who reciprocates that love.God does exist,and if you havent got that person,he isnt the right one.soulmates happen when both have mutual love,and God will make your life and wishes fulfilled.just look at the pattern happening behind the scenes in your life,that will make you accept that the best is yet to come.

Q: well i have been having a really tough time lately.
My mum late last year had a brain heamorrage and almost died.
My parents are divorced. and my sister was reacently in hospital.
and i have been bullied all my life , PLUS i just started year 7.
Any ideas of how to handle this? P.S im 13 from australia. Abiee xx

hey swthrt!

sweet hugs and lots of pinches to your cheeks.you have to accept that all the problems you mentioned come in many people's lives all over the world.i believe kids should never feel bad about divorces.both your parents are wonderful people,and that will never change.there are so many different reasons for a divorce and your parents had their reasons to go through it.dont worry about it.you are a fine young person,pray a lot more,for your mother's and sister's and your health.God is always there,so turn to him,and communicate directly with him.tell him that you dont want any more problems,tell him to watch over you and your family forever more.he will take care,just trust him!being bullied is very bad,but who cares? it is temporary,the person who bullies you,doesnt remember it after a few minutes,and you will feel bad for many days.just accept that its a weird world.you will be fine,you be a strong lady,okay?

Q: well im 15 and love everythign about make up and was wondering if there was a school that just teaches you about make up and maybe hair too, but not a school everyday, like something to do AFTER real school. is there a such thing? and i live in massachusetts

hey!youre just like me,i have always loved makeup too!i guess,the internet can be ur best school,i dont think you would be some one who wants to enroll in it full time.you can browse real nice sites online,which will teach you a lot of stuff.

Q: I attempted (for the first time) the smokey eye makeup look and I have no clue if it is right... so help me please to understand if it looks right (or some-what right? haha)

http://img32.imageshack.us/my.php?image=rscn2108.jpg

http://img193.imageshack.us/my.php?image=rscn2106.jpg

its not too extravagant, very subtle with some glitter.

please and thank you :)

hey!

the colour is invisible girl!it has got to be applied a lot more darker.btw,you are beautiful!

Q: 14/f

okay heres the point. i want out of my house. its not that i dont want to live with my parents, its the fact that i cant take the stress of living with them anymore. they do a lot of things that bother me. and its making me want to hurt myself. i know your going to say talk to them. work things out. but everytime i try to talk to my parents and work things out they dont want to agree on any solution that works for all of us. a few weeks ago it got to the point were i overdosed on some medicine and was in the hospital for a couple days. and today i came so close to cutting myself because i cant take this anymore. they are supposed to be setting up councling for me but still have yet to do that. i cant take it anymore. and every single day i cry because i cant take the stress of living here anymore. :(
so does anyone know anyways i can get out of my house. maybe go live with a realitive or friend.
please please do NOT try and tell me to work things out with my parents. ive tried it. it did NOT work. and please dont tell me to wait it out. ive waited to long and i cant take it. please please please anyone help.
please and thank you.
-cuttechick24

hey dear,

the thing is that you have to see it this way,usually when you see the bad things [or faults]about your parents,it seems like an endless list of things.this causes severe stress.it is called negative thinking.to break this endless cycle of thoughts,replace it with something positive.remember,they are the ones that took care of you ever since you were a helpless baby and child.people,i mean your parents,may have many things that they do,that you do not approve of.it only means you are sensitive and a fine person.dont take extreme steps,no matter what the situation in life is,or whom you feel is making you feel low.you are too precious for that.worship yourself.pray a lot more,this helps,because then you will have a direct hotline and bond with God.then you will be able to talk everything with God.tell Him,i want money,i want everything to be fine in the family,i want my parents to behave a particular way etc.believe me,god will make it work.

to get rid of stress,lie down and relax,breathe deeply.just try admiring life and the beauty around you.enjoying beauty,whether nature or man-made paintings,whatever,makes you feel good.you should feel happy,life truly is beautiful.the problem is when we give in to negativity.

Q: hello, i'm 19/f and i weight about 145. my friend is also 19/f and she is about the same height as me (5'6") and weighs around 108. i've been exercising everyday for two hours and even been taking ephedrine pills and i have not lost weight at all. i've also been doing crunches and i've seen no results. however, my friend has been also working out less than i have and she's already got a 4 pack! (it's only been a few weeks). i'm just wondering why i can't seem to lose weight and it's so easy for her to get a 4 pack so soon. thanks in advance.

hey!dont feel low dear,its just that different people have different metabolism rates,that's how some people never put on weight no matter how much they eat!dont compare yourself and your friend.usually,for overweight people,exercises,pills and crunches arent the answer.the answer to burn a lot of fat is- to walk very long distances,and the magic words here are -brisk walking[remember this,normal walking doesnt help as much as this does].so take long walks alone,early in the morning or later in the evening,and build up your times from 15 minutes,to half an hour or more.this will work brilliantly believe me.i am one who lost nearly 38 pounds this way!and these walks in fresh air can make you feel divine,it is really so enjoyable.good luck,try this,for a few months,you will lose pounds like anything.take my word for it.

Q: So basically to make the long story short, I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half, because he wouldn't find a job, get his license, make time for me, and stopped caring for our relationship. To be honest I am very hurt, and I miss him very much -- I'd die for him. But I felt this was the right thing to do right now.

Well in the past week, all I have been having were these dreams about he and I. One was about him and I breaking up then he got over me the next day and found someone else (which didn't happen), when where he cheated on me (didn't happen either), when where we fought and he broke up with me (didn't happen), and then just last night I had a decent one actually, when he and I were together, just us, having a great time on a road trip together (didn't happen). I had a couple more but I don't remember those, but I do remember in most of these I woke up crying..

I just don't know what to do. Can someone help me, please? =[

hey!i can understand that you are hurt and miss this person,this happens because you feel rejected by the guy.when someone stops caring it is very hurtful,but try to accept that there may be many other reasons for whatever happened,and the reason isn't you.always tell yourself,that you are a great and valuable person.dont feel hurt anymore,because it is definitely not your fault.if you want him back,you have to tell him about it[with the risk of getting more hurt,if he says no],or getting over him,and living a normal life again.you are a wonderful girl,no matter what has happened ,or what will happen.believe that you are fabulous,and you will be fine.good luck!

Q: Okay. Here's the thing. This boy (14/m) and I (13/f) have been super close for the past year. We really like eachother but agreed that we wouldn't date because we dont feel like we are at a mature enough age to handle it. Also, we knew ahead of time that he would be moving away at the end of the year and I really didn't want to get invloved with him just to have him pulled away... Well I tried as hard as I could but when it comes down to it you can't control your feelings and Ive really fallen for him. He totally understands me, and knows me better than I think some of my friends do. This summer is going to quite literally suck without him. He's not just a boy I like, he's my friend and I dont know what I'm going to do. My friends can see the writing on the wall. They already know what a mess I'm going to be and I know they will want to help but I dont want to have to depend on them. I'm fairly independent and I am mad at myself enough that I have let this boy mess with me so much and I want to be able to handle some of his being gone (not ALL of it, I know not super girl) on my own. So if any of you know any good tips (please dont tell me to just throw myself out there, I'm soo not that kind of person) but maybe just give me some pointers or a few really good promises I can make to myself that I can look at when I am feeling down. You know like "I promise myself I will not mope everyday" or "I will not text/call/IM him everyday" because I really want to move on. I'm too young to be try a long distance relationship (especially when we weren't even dating to begin with!) and I think I just need to get over him, but I ned help. Tips and promises I can make to and practice myself please!!

i do feel sorry for you,its unfortunate that this has happened,because such feelings should be kept within,until mr.right pops up later in ur life.but dont worry,remember that he is a friend above all.and always keep your mind and yourself engaged in something else,some interesting stuff.when you do different things,it kind of takes your mind off all these things.its like this,the trick is that the mind cannot concentrate on many things at once.so when your mind is occupied,you will be least bothered about other things.

you are a great person,a valuable one too.so dont feel down,for any reason.get over him,and be back to normal again.wish you luck!

Q: thanks for the wounderful peace of advice.. i try to improve myself. i should somehow stop thinking about it.

it would be great if you can extend your friendship hand and give me with some valuable upliftment...thanks, i would like to be in touch with you, it would be great if you can provide me your email id.

yes,I would love to be your friend...please add me on yahoo ,by this ID neeti_kamath@yahoo.com

and neetikamath@hotmail.com,neetikamath@gmail.com,neeti@zenbe.com,any of these.thank u!neeti.

Q: neeti,

nowadays i dont want to go office, it doesnt excite me anymore. feel bored more often, though i try to make girl friends it has become distant reality. these things have made me loner.

i dont know why girls play so hard to get on?

hello dear!
I can understand how you feel,and most girls are like that,they play hard to get,and are proud and even arrogant.what I feel is,though you feel lonely because of all this,remember that you can always be happy,it is a feeling from within that does not depend on anything outside at all!be happy all your life,develop that happiness,it is all always within.you are a wonderful person,and though no one will come up to you and tell you that.so concentrate on 'looking' your best,on 'feeling' your best and most of all,'feeling confident'.the feeling confident part is something you have to develop too,just believe in yourself ,man!you are the best,so dont depend on anyone to tell you that,and know that people are not in the habit of complimenting anyone,it is a natural thing that they dont compliment each other on how nice anyone is,you know what i mean?unless,they make it a habit ,or a point to.so you do it instead!try complimenting people on how nice/good/goodlooking etc...they are.say it from the heart.and tell everyone you care,that you do care!show them that.show the people you cherish,that you do,and tell them that,in a private conversation.laugh a lot,hug people you love,i think you get the picture.then everyone can even be friends for life,they surely will be.just be the good person that you already are!that is enough for others to take notice,if you are happy and make them happy too!thats important in life,none of the other material stuff is.see,if girls just want guys for their money,then you dont need such people,but mostly,naturally girls need to be told,all the time,that they are fabulous!believe me!I am one!and its true.so be yourself,you are a gem ,man,in the eyes of God atleast.pray often,and make it a habit to develop all your good qualities,surely you will find some really nice person,to be friends with,or to be your girl friend!and to tell you the truth,people are naturally selfish,we all are,and no one is to be blamed for that.so go ahead,start enjoying your life,being happy,makin others happy etc!boredom is there only if you leave your mind idle.so acc. to me,give it something repetitive to do,like chant God's name,or like any creative stuff like your hobbies,or things that interest you....music,painting?be yourself,and be yourself always,dont be like someone else.wishing you the very best,neeti.

Q: I am 16, female.
At age 14, I had a boyfriend, a best friend, all A's, confidence, I played volleyball and I was a cheerleader.

I am now 16, I have no best friend, no boyfriend, a B average, no confidence, and I recently had to quit all sports for 2 years due to a Spinal Disease. I'm not sure what to do anymore. My best friend and I have tried to go back to the way things were before she and I tried drugs, I quit but she took longer and we were not permitted to see each other.

I miss my life. My parents are worried sick about me because I spend all my free days laying in bed watching TV. I hate it. I used to be a fun-loving flirt that was able to bring the best out of people.

But now, I second guess my every thought, blame myself for everything, and just can't seem to find my way again.

Help, please.

hi dear!
be strong and don't ever think that any of it is your fault!don't blame yourself and stop thinking this way.things change in life for everyone and that is normal.remember,you are still yourself,but since you are fun-loving,you miss that part.but see,that's a part of growing up.now you are 16 and a very normal ,sweet person,so think about doing nice hobbies,learn nice arts and crafts stuff online,study well,because that's the way to a bright future,put aside an hour a day to create a handbag or jewellery of your own etc.tell your parents, that you would like to learn some interesting course online apart from school/college.think about your career,plan it well,and work towards becoming a successful person with a great career.its your life,you can either spend it feeling bad,or feeling good.so feel good,be positive,say positive things to yourself,and believe in yourself.everything will be alright,start making effort to change anything in you that has to be changed for the better,take rest when needed,and enjoy your life,girl!you can be happy wherever you are,whatever circumstances you are in.laugh and enjoy your life.move around your house and do small things like giving a helping hand in everyday routine stuff like cleaning etc.you will be fine.wish you good luck!

Q: Hey, I am 16f and I am not feeling very happy lately,or at all. I am just so frustrated. My 'used to be friend" totally ruined our friendship since she used me to get to my brother,months ago. I cannot stand seeing her EVERY single night when she comes to suck faces with him and be a hooker for him. Its like I have this hole within me,in my heart,that just fills with hatred when my "friend" comes into the house. I can't stand to look at her since she lyed to me,backstabbed me,has my whole family on her side,and used me. No one understands that what she did is basically unforgivable. And I can't stop thinking about it since the problems live in my house. I just want to get away from this all, move somewhere decent, run away or something. Every day that I am in this house it brings me down. Just this week my mom sent my sister to my grandmas,and since my sister is the major baby of the family,even though she is ten, my mom thought that since my sis isnt here she doesnt have to be (Its the main reason she ever stays home). So she left for a whole couple days, when I thought this would finally be a perfect time to gain some alone time with her. I dont think she realizes that she has another child that needs care at times. Maybe it has to do with me being the middle child. It is true that the middle child gets left out.
She asked me to watch a movie with her, we got it started and everything, then just as it began the phone rang, she just got up and left.I was like 'wow,some quality time'. She didnt pause the movie like she even wanted to watch it with me, and she never came back. I thought if i was my 'so called friend' or my sister she would never do that to 'me'. She doesnt understand how I feel so put-aside. When I try to tell her,she says I dont get it,and that we can do it someother time,but there is no other times,and there usually never will be, since she is always doing 'something'. I feel I should just move out. As far as my dum ass brother (who already graduated) and his slut (whos in my grade, 11) live here, I won't find peace. I keep saying I will move out before he ever does, hes probly gonna be a stay at home son till he's 21. I want to move out NOW. I know a few places I can go already. Do you think I should wait another century, or is it even worth waiting?

to tell you the truth,your parents love you anyway,and they love you a lot though they don't show it and since that's the truth,you have no reason to worry on that count.remember,everyone has their own path to take in life,its their life ,they have freedom and they choose to spend it the way they do.so let them all be.concentrate on feeling good and tell yourself that you are a super person,and be busy doing your routine or things that you like to do.don't move out,according to me,even though every one can be so annoying.parents love all their children but show more to the youngest child,as usual.they don't know that you feel this way and they think that as long as you are doing fine,its not a problem.don't feel left out anymore,and know that they do love you,okay?be yourself,be happy and positive,stay nice and always be the sweet girl you already are.just lead your life,study,have fun with friends etc.Ignore people who annoy you ,like your brother's GF,[who used to be ur friend]u dont have anything to do with her anyway.its his life,let him beand let them be.enjoy your life ,basically,since you have your freedom and its your life.good luck!

Q: 18/f/canada.

I sleep in everyday, I never do laundry, I never do anything, I never cook, I never answer phone calls, I dont know what to do anymore. I feel like Ive given up on everything. I KNOW my life would be much better if I could make myself do these things, but I just cant. It wasnt like this before. Ive tried everything but nothing works. I dont want to hear 'it will get better.' Ive been waiting for too long. Help.

hi dear!
I can understand how you are feeling...but you must become more perky,more happy,more naughty and laugh a lot.You should know that you are a wonderful person and that merely because you wont do these things at present ,doesn't mean you are wrong or bad in anyway.just think of these routines as a normal part of everyone's life.talk to yourself more often,and do it positively.be more positive,self-confident.tell yourself that you believe in yourself.you may not be having the stamina or interest to do these normal things,but go ahead and do them little by little!think of yourself as a good cook and think of yourself as being good at these things already!all your family members might be needing a lot of help and wont be able to do everything without your help.so what you do is,help them,whenever possible.if you start doing cooking,laundry,etc,you will be useful to your family.they will delight that you have changed.you don't have to feel that you have given up on everything.enjoy your life,pray a lot,and be happy!start the effort,and keep it going.say nice things to family members and friends,about their cooking etc.take up a hobby,you can go to these online sites where they teach you a lot of stuff for free.sit and create a lot of arts and crafts,which can beautify your room or house!tell all your family members that you have decided on a hobby,ask them to help you with it too.when you do creative stuff,it helps a lot.you already are a wonderful person!spend atleast an hour daily on making your own jewellery,or hand bag,or make scented candles etc.these are a whole lot of fun!take long walks along with someone,or even alone,I have heard canada is picturesque!take care and wish you the best of luck!

Q: HI,
i am individual from dubai, with around 4 years of exp in software development (.net)...I plan to go for higher studies..I have a confusion whether to go for a MBA,MS or is there any more specialization courses...Cost involved is too high for an mba...and my 4 yrs of exp might go in air..Also i am not very talkative to go for sales...so can someone help me out,,,,,

hello!
It is my feeling that doing your graduation/post graduation by coming to and studying MBA or MCA in India would give you the best shot.Otherwise ,try distance learning MBA from India or London or other countries.search on the net for India MBA.if you still feel MBA is expensive even in India,you must try distance learning which is recognized and valid.otherwise,if not MBA,try MCA which is 'master of computer applications'.it will be for 3 years.distance learning from India is just as good,or you have to study in India.I am saying this because the whole thing might be inexpensive here.you can email them on Indian websites asking for more information.there are a whole load of specialization courses in India too.there is distance learning facility in Dubai as well,try that too.don't worry about the 'not talkative' bit,concentrate on getting the best and inexpensive education.forget about sales for the moment.you are already a confident person,and that is enough and even great!wish you the best of luck!

Q: i don't think i think like a normal teenager does, like i act like a normal one, but in my head i'm not really. like i worry about everything and i'm not carefree and i don't just care about having fun like a normal teenager. this seems like it wuoldn't be a bad thing, to have like a more mature mind, but i don't want to think like that. my sister is just a carefree teenager who all she cares about is having fun, smoking,drinking, partying,getting with guys,the way she looks, and her friends and family, but like she still gets good grades too. she never thinks of anything bad that could come in the future, except college, like she can't talk about death or getting attacked or what age she thinks she's gunna die, when she'll get married and if it'll work, etc. or she gets all worried. all she wants to talk/think about is like boys and everything that i listed above. i wish i could think like that, but instead i think of all of the bad thhings that have happened in the world, the future (like my adulthood), older times like the 60's 70's and 80's because i liked those times better, and fate, etc. it makes me kind of sad and worried/nervous all of the time, and i'm not carefree like other teenagers. i think the reason i am like this might be because most of my friends have depression or other types of problems, like cutting, etc. but we're all pretty normal. i ACT like a normal teenager, like drinking,partying,dancing,friends,but i don't worry about boys because i hate the way i look because i have braces and i'm very very inconfident and have never kissed a boy and none of my friends are even virgins. but i don't think like a normal one. when i party, i just think about all of the bad things instead of just having fun, like what if i pass out or throw up and my parents have to come pick me up, what if i get caught, what if i go upstairs into my friends room and a guy is up there and tries to attack me, what if this guy starts touching me without permission, what if someone thinks i'm a slut, etc, and some of you might say it's resp0onsible to always be cautious and sometimes its a good thing that i'm very cautious, but other times the thigns that i'm thinking are just ridiculous and unnecessary because no one is trying to do anything bad, everyones just trying to have fun. so please don't answer the question saying that im actually responsible because i go way over the top inside my head with the cautiousness. i so badly want to be a happygoluck teenager who lives to have fun but still does good in school, but is carefree about anything in life except have fun, besides the major things like taking care of myself, school, family, etc. i'm not saying like dumb ignorant and ditzy, i'm saying like i don't want to worry that much just live in the moment. because i can NEVER live in the moment, i'm always living in either the past or future. also, even though everyone does it in highschool, and i KNOW they do so please don't try to answer saying they don't, whenever i drink i feel guilty and like im' diong something wrong because my parents don't know,but seriously like do they really expect me and my friends not t drink when i KNOW that they did when they are my age? but like at parties after everyone gets drunk and some people start fighting or hooking up with random people or throwing up or peeing, i'm like, how is this even fun anymore? and i just feel bad, like omg what if my parents saw m e right now what would they think? and i hate it so much, like for once i want to actually have fun instead of worrying about if it's normal for everyone to be drinking so much. and like in my head i KNOW its normal, because like its highschool, so how can i stop worrying about what i'm doing and just enjoy the time i'm in? so my question is how can i become more like that and not think that everyone is out to get me and not worry so much about whats going to happen in life and just enjoy the time i'm at right now (highschool)?

you know,you are so right in many of the things you have said!you ARE on the right path.you are being very sensible in many ways,and that is fantastic.just try to relax and know that you are much more sensible than any of your friends,and a very good person as well as a really intelligent teenager.the thing is to have the best of both worlds,like your sister.its not a bad thing to take good qualities of others and try to bring them into your life.be yourself always,but laugh a lot more,and know that if you can be good and enjoy the present moment,be a good girl as you have been until now,then the future will be taken care of by God.think always of positive points,of the brighter side.concentrate on your studies and pleasing your parents by making your own future bright,they will be proud of you.by being sensible like this always,you can become a great person in future.wishing you the very best.