|
being a normal teenager
i don't think i think like a normal teenager does, like i act like a normal one, but in my head i'm not really. like i worry about everything and i'm not carefree and i don't just care about having fun like a normal teenager. this seems like it wuoldn't be a bad thing, to have like a more mature mind, but i don't want to think like that. my sister is just a carefree teenager who all she cares about is having fun, smoking,drinking, partying,getting with guys,the way she looks, and her friends and family, but like she still gets good grades too. she never thinks of anything bad that could come in the future, except college, like she can't talk about death or getting attacked or what age she thinks she's gunna die, when she'll get married and if it'll work, etc. or she gets all worried. all she wants to talk/think about is like boys and everything that i listed above. i wish i could think like that, but instead i think of all of the bad thhings that have happened in the world, the future (like my adulthood), older times like the 60's 70's and 80's because i liked those times better, and fate, etc. it makes me kind of sad and worried/nervous all of the time, and i'm not carefree like other teenagers. i think the reason i am like this might be because most of my friends have depression or other types of problems, like cutting, etc. but we're all pretty normal. i ACT like a normal teenager, like drinking,partying,dancing,friends,but i don't worry about boys because i hate the way i look because i have braces and i'm very very inconfident and have never kissed a boy and none of my friends are even virgins. but i don't think like a normal one. when i party, i just think about all of the bad things instead of just having fun, like what if i pass out or throw up and my parents have to come pick me up, what if i get caught, what if i go upstairs into my friends room and a guy is up there and tries to attack me, what if this guy starts touching me without permission, what if someone thinks i'm a slut, etc, and some of you might say it's resp0onsible to always be cautious and sometimes its a good thing that i'm very cautious, but other times the thigns that i'm thinking are just ridiculous and unnecessary because no one is trying to do anything bad, everyones just trying to have fun. so please don't answer the question saying that im actually responsible because i go way over the top inside my head with the cautiousness. i so badly want to be a happygoluck teenager who lives to have fun but still does good in school, but is carefree about anything in life except have fun, besides the major things like taking care of myself, school, family, etc. i'm not saying like dumb ignorant and ditzy, i'm saying like i don't want to worry that much just live in the moment. because i can NEVER live in the moment, i'm always living in either the past or future. also, even though everyone does it in highschool, and i KNOW they do so please don't try to answer saying they don't, whenever i drink i feel guilty and like im' diong something wrong because my parents don't know,but seriously like do they really expect me and my friends not t drink when i KNOW that they did when they are my age? but like at parties after everyone gets drunk and some people start fighting or hooking up with random people or throwing up or peeing, i'm like, how is this even fun anymore? and i just feel bad, like omg what if my parents saw m e right now what would they think? and i hate it so much, like for once i want to actually have fun instead of worrying about if it's normal for everyone to be drinking so much. and like in my head i KNOW its normal, because like its highschool, so how can i stop worrying about what i'm doing and just enjoy the time i'm in? so my question is how can i become more like that and not think that everyone is out to get me and not worry so much about whats going to happen in life and just enjoy the time i'm at right now (highschool)?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Health?
you know,you are so right in many of the things you have said!you ARE on the right path.you are being very sensible in many ways,and that is fantastic.just try to relax and know that you are much more sensible than any of your friends,and a very good person as well as a really intelligent teenager.the thing is to have the best of both worlds,like your sister.its not a bad thing to take good qualities of others and try to bring them into your life.be yourself always,but laugh a lot more,and know that if you can be good and enjoy the present moment,be a good girl as you have been until now,then the future will be taken care of by God.think always of positive points,of the brighter side.concentrate on your studies and pleasing your parents by making your own future bright,they will be proud of you.by being sensible like this always,you can become a great person in future.wishing you the very best.
]
There is no such thing as a "normal" teenager. Normal is a word teens use to justify stupid, irresponsible, and dangerous behavior.
Yeah, your friends seem happy from what you see. What you aren't seeing is that probably one in five of them already has an STD and hasn't noticed or has noticed and hasn't told anyone. What you aren't seeing is how lonely some of them are because when they lower themselves to sex toys thats all they can be to the guys who know, and being a sex toy isn't exactly status that gets you intimacy and love. What you aren't seeing is when theyre at home alone wondering if what theyre doing is right, and hoping it is. And what you aren't seeing is that the ones who aren't questioning themselves about these things are too stupid to know any better and will likely remain so for a long time.
What do you do?
Have fun responsibly. You don't have to drink to hang around those who do. You don't have to fuck every guy who gives you a look to hang around with people. If anyone asks, your choices are your own. You don't owe anyone an explanation. If someone tries to get you to do something, politely decline. If they ask why, just say "its not for me"
You will drink at some point. You will party. You will get laid. You might do other things as well.
And fortunately for you, you are intelligent enough that you will do these things responsibly. So when these girls who you know are dealing with aids, herpes, feelings of worthlessness because men don't value them, you'll be Disease free, not developing drug or alcohol habits while still doing what you want, and dating men who value you as a person while (hopefully) giving you great sex.
There is plenty of life after high school, and as someone who partied his ass off in high school, college is better in every way. But in the mean time, you DO need to relax. Instead of looking at how much fun everyone is, look at how sad it is. Theres a reason your parents would look down upon teens drinking until they pass out, piss themselves, throw up everywhere, or go fuck some guy they've rarely said more than two words to.
The big problem here is perspective. You think theyre right and you're wrong. And you are wrong, but not about what you think.
Its stupid to have random sex with random people. Its stupid to drink to the point of sickness, complete loss of consciousness and control, or to where you can be taken advantage of.
And all your friends, well as I said. Theyre either questioning themselves the same as you are, or they're too stupid to.
Thats the answer to that final question in your post.
::Edit::
Oh, and as far as boys go, smile more, make some eye contact, and try to talk to them a bit. It'll come.
]
I am 16/f, in highschool. and i refuse to drink, do drugs. and i do NOT want to have sex right now, not until I'm married ... and like, I know people pretend they're innocent and everything, but I'm being dead serious. So i know exactly how you feel about being "different" than everyone else and actually CARING. because it is good to care. and why make the same mistakes your parents or peers make/made? it's illegal what they are doing anyways, and your mind and heart is telling you its wrong so you feel guilty, thats why. and im not allowed to do any of that stuff either, its not how i was raised, and i also look at the people getting wasted and high and they do stupid things that they regret and will feel guilty about in the future, and WHY BE LIEK THEM when you can be you, and have your morals. they are all heading down the wrong path, and im not saying that they are bad people, they are just making bad choices. I know you don't feel normal, but you are, I'm not gonna say that highschoolers dont have sex, because lets face it, they DO, and its most likely with random guys when they are drunk or high or stupid because they are too young to know the diffference between love and usage. you have a good head on your shoulders, and you shouldnt criticize yourself for that, because that's GREAT, and ive gotta say, im glad you have the good sense to know that what they are doing isnt right or fun ... but if you want to be more carefree, its going to be very hard because you respect yourself and what others think of you, you dont want to end up having a bad reputation, but there are other ways you can be carefree other than drinking and doing drugs. you just haveta do things that make you feel comfortable, if it makes you feel uncomfortable or not safe, it probably isn't a very good idea. it's like, your natural intinct, some people obey it, some people don't. it just depends on how far you're willing to go, or how much youre willing to lose. you have alot of dignity, and these girls are probably NOT happy with their lives and feel that they have to do these things to be accepted, and being accepted = happiness. but thats WRONG. this is going to come back and bite them in the butt when they get older, and their mistakes might make them stronger, and it might be better to "learn from your mistakes" but there comes a point in time where mistakes just turn into failures and people getting WAY out of conrol, and rehab and such. and to be happy, and carefree, don't think about anybody else BUT YOURSELF. and what makes you happy and comfortable. like who CARES about what everyone else does, people will think much higher of you if you don't follow the crowd, and that should definetly make you more carefree. you can also go to parties and be sober, and not do anything, so you can be like ... the "designated driver" person. yuh know? the person everyone trusts. like, just be yourself. that's all you can do. don't try to do things that you dont like, its not worth it in the end. at all. trust me. and your parents are just looking out for you, because they probably would change some of the bad things they did in the past too. you live and you learn. i hope i helped, and dont let these girls get you down, its normal to have these insecurities, and you are perfectly normal. no lie. you are. trust me.
good luck xxo if you need anything else, just inbox me.
]
I used to think the same way. Always scared of getting in trouble. Always worrying about what other people thought of me. I wear makeup to make my self feel pretty. I dress to make my self feel sexy. There is a guy out there who thinks you are gorgous, amzing, the most beautiful woman on earth. it just takes time findind him and yes that sucks but its part of life. You are your own personality and what you make life out to be. Thinking about the future is good but dont worry about it take everything day by day. wake up and make your self feel confident. go out with your friends and jump up and down and dont get scared to be a little crazy. talk a little more, party a little more, maybe hang out with your sister some see how she acts. now if you dont feel comfortable acting carefree.. be you. care some. its a good think. makes you more aware. you can still have fun and worry.. when you drinking with your friends and worry about passng out make sure to drink some place you can stay the night.
]
More Questions: |