I want to sleep with more than one guy--does this make me a slut?
Question Posted Sunday January 4 2009, 4:40 pm
I'm 26. For ages I've stayed a virgin for a number of reasons, but finally I decided I wanted to sleep with a guy I just started seeing. He knew I was a virgin and after only seeing each other a few times we had sex. He's been really sweet. However, I got out of a bad relationship a few months ago and was really hurt emotionally. I'd made a mental pact to date more than one guy once I started dating again, just for my own self-preservation. So now that I am dating again, there are a few guys that have asked me out. I'm interested to date 3 guys at once, but have to wonder, now that I'm sleeping with one (using protection and on birth control), what if I want to sleep with the other two guys? Would that make me a slut?
TimothyDanger answered Monday January 5 2009, 11:51 pm: Actually I think you're probably just making up for lost time. As long as you are not in a committed relationship to one person, how are you supposed to know you found the right person until you tried a few flavors out? Both guys and girls do it (only guys dont have the stigma girls do socially), so rock and roll. [ TimothyDanger's advice column | Ask TimothyDanger A Question ]
WittyUsernameHere answered Monday January 5 2009, 10:40 pm: If you're willing to talk it over with the guy you're sleeping with.
Does this make you a slut? Does that matter? Do you think its a good idea is more the question. Sex with one person can be complicated enough and you want to maintain sexual relationships with three separate people?
Most people would say that was stupid, whatever other labels you want to put on it.
I understand the desire to have more partners. I lost it early, have been with many people, am in a 4 year relationship, and STILL have sexual desires for other people, including the general "I'd like to sleep with someone other than my girlfriend because I haven't in so long" urge.
I do not indulge in any of them. Because while yes, I am in a committed relationship, I am also think that sex is a little more important than that, and because I don't want my life to become the eternal hell juggling more than my already-a-pain-in-the-butt girlfriend already is (that was affectionate sarcasm, since tone is hard with text)
If you wanted to date around, you shouldn't have involved sex. Most guys don't like being one of three. Most girls don't either. The only real exceptions are swingers and people who engage in plural marriage. You don't seem like either.
dottie4 answered Monday January 5 2009, 9:42 pm: No definitely not. Your old enough that you can take responsibility for yourself, and you are using protection so I think it's fine. Just be careful because you might get your heart broken again. Hope I helped.
Sweet_LiL_Angel answered Monday January 5 2009, 3:36 pm: A slut is what you make it out to be. Someone may call you a slut but that doesn't make you one. If you were to call a female a slut. What are the reasons you are calling this girl a slut? Are the reasons you listed to call this girl a slut, what you are doing?? Its simple a slut is what you say it is. If you feel like you are being a slut than maybe your shouldn't be doing it.. its not like you are cheating if the guys know you are dating and not in a relationship. good luck. [ Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column | Ask Sweet_LiL_Angel A Question ]
mangoes93008 answered Monday January 5 2009, 3:30 pm: Consider the reason why you wan to sleep with more than one men. There is a possibility since you were heart broken you want to fill in that gap with men and one man is not filling that gap so you desire for more than one. If I am off track, I'm sorry.
Razhie answered Sunday January 4 2009, 6:21 pm: Frankly, once you are out of the high school gossip mill, the only person you EVER have to worry about considering you a slut again, is yourself.
In my life, I've found that I can't happily maintain a sexual relationship with more then one person. It's just nothing something I can do without stressing myself out, feeling divided and even disloyal (no matter how honest I've been with my partners).
Sleeping with more then one person at didn't make me a 'slut', but it did make me feel like one sometimes, so I stopped doing it.
But as for you: going from bad relationship, to single, to non-virgin, to totally sexually liberated lady-about-town... that's an awful lot to handle awful quickly.
So my advice to you: don't rush yourself.
Frankly, in jumping into bed with this guy after only having started to see him a few months out of a bad relationship, that already smells of rushing it. Unfortunately, many of us trying to get over our ex by getting under someone else, and it never really works. So I would advise you not to go further complicating your life with more lovers any time soon. It has nothing to do with being a 'slut', you just have enough on your plate without adding multiple lovers. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
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