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I lost my old life.
I am 16, female.
At age 14, I had a boyfriend, a best friend, all A's, confidence, I played volleyball and I was a cheerleader.
I am now 16, I have no best friend, no boyfriend, a B average, no confidence, and I recently had to quit all sports for 2 years due to a Spinal Disease. I'm not sure what to do anymore. My best friend and I have tried to go back to the way things were before she and I tried drugs, I quit but she took longer and we were not permitted to see each other.
I miss my life. My parents are worried sick about me because I spend all my free days laying in bed watching TV. I hate it. I used to be a fun-loving flirt that was able to bring the best out of people.
But now, I second guess my every thought, blame myself for everything, and just can't seem to find my way again.
Help, please.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
hi dear!
be strong and don't ever think that any of it is your fault!don't blame yourself and stop thinking this way.things change in life for everyone and that is normal.remember,you are still yourself,but since you are fun-loving,you miss that part.but see,that's a part of growing up.now you are 16 and a very normal ,sweet person,so think about doing nice hobbies,learn nice arts and crafts stuff online,study well,because that's the way to a bright future,put aside an hour a day to create a handbag or jewellery of your own etc.tell your parents, that you would like to learn some interesting course online apart from school/college.think about your career,plan it well,and work towards becoming a successful person with a great career.its your life,you can either spend it feeling bad,or feeling good.so feel good,be positive,say positive things to yourself,and believe in yourself.everything will be alright,start making effort to change anything in you that has to be changed for the better,take rest when needed,and enjoy your life,girl!you can be happy wherever you are,whatever circumstances you are in.laugh and enjoy your life.move around your house and do small things like giving a helping hand in everyday routine stuff like cleaning etc.you will be fine.wish you good luck!
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I can relate... my life got turned upside down when i was 15-16 too. i went from being a social butterfly with tons of friends, VP of my class, played every sport ... basketball, volleyball, soccer, TKD, swimming... i had to quit because i moved, teams weren't funded... and i tried drugs as well so i lost a lot of my friends that way too.
now jsut a few years later, i realize it makes me a better person cuz i was able to get back up and start over. i don't live the same life... i'm not involved at school or anything but i work and hang out with all those people. that's what helped me the most... get a part time job and you'll notice that you'll feel better about yourself in general. if you want, get a therapist. i had one for a little while and she made me feel soo much better. focus your energy on school and work and get through it all and prove to yourself that you are capable of recovering and gettting to a new better life. feel better and feel free to ask me anything! <3
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You still are who you used to be or that person you think is lost forever. The only problem is you can't see it as it's buried under lack of confidence, drug problem, and lack of interest in life.
The problems in spite of the other illness you have are signs something isn't right medically and mentally. It would seem that you may have clinical depression or another mental health issue that needs to be addressed a.s.a.p so you can return to your normal life and move forward.
I know what I'm talking about as I have been in the hospital twice for mental illness and surrounding by people like you. I would bypass your family doctor as they usually know nothing about these matters and go to an emergency room. Yes, this qualifies as a medical emergency.
Have your family take you and tell the psychiatrist on call about everything you said here and then some. They will likely give you medication and monitor your progress. They'll only keep you there 72 hours if you are believed to be in crisis or someone who can bring harm to themselves, others or be harmed by others while ill.
This will be the best thing you could do for yourself. Things can only get better from it. Make sure to keep a journal or list of things bothering you so you can rattle them off to the doctor who can then tell how to proceed. Don't be scared, it's all a good thing and the only road to take. This all mental, not physical or a change of thinking. That won't do it alone.
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I'm sorry to hear that so much has changed for you. The past is the past though, so you can not dwell on it. There is no going back and you really need to work on excepting that. It is very hard, and personally i have had to do it and i am still working on being realistic about that to this day. Not having a best friend sucks, i know that for a fact! but unless your best friend from the past has changed her or his drug using ways, it is a waste of timne trying to go back, things wont be the same. bummer! Try not dwelling on what you dont have and focussing in on what you do have. Things can be pretty shitty in your life, but they can be worse. Look at what you have done, the people you have surronded yourself with and the actions that have led you to this fall out from your past. Except they are not good and go through the grief stages. (1.anger 2.sadness 3. exceptance) then forgive yourself whether it was your fault or not. You sound as though you are suffering from deppreassion, which is tricky to get out of. TALK TO YOUR PARENTS! I'm 17 and believe me im not super christian girl, but i have fucked up a lot, and the best thing i did was tell my parents. They will help you get the help you need. Tell them you need to see a therapist or find someone to talk to. Stop focussing on bringing out the best in other people, and try doing that for yourself. You cant make yourself happy by only pleasing other people. Turn off the t.v., find some friends (be picky with who you choose), talk to your parents, see a therapist-talk to someone, dont be a victim, and look at what you have not lost.
if you need someone to talk to, feel free to email or facebook me.
d-rainkrueger@hotmail.com
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i'm sure that you can still find that strong, confident, incredibly smart person! you've been able to quit drugs, honor your parents, and go through a spinal disease that caused you to sacrifice things you probably loves. that's strength. i think you just need to get out their again and go find her.
i know you probably miss your best friend, but, chances are, even if you started hanging out like you did before, things wouldn't be the same because you've now had different experiences. don't get me wrong, i'm not saying cut her off completely, because everybody and everything (especially friendships) deserves a second chance. try to talk to her more in school, so that your parents won't have to worry about you falling into a "bad crowd." but maybe you should also try to make some new friends in your classes. and even if you can't join a sport, i'm sure there's still stuff at your school, or even in you town, you could do. there's clubs and groups for just about everything when it comes to teens (unless you live in like a one horse town) from activism to art...everything. they'll do just about anything to keep teens "off the streets" so there's usually stuff to do. check out stuff at your school. this is an easy way to meet people (maybe even a guy with common interests) and entertain yourself and get out of your house. maybe you could even talk to someone at school that could show you the ropes of a club they're in.
as for the a-average-to-b-average thing, don't be so disappointed because a b average isn't the most horrible thing in the world, to high schools or colleges. this may not even be totally you're fault because the difference between two years in high school could mean work that is a lot more difficult. but if you really want to raise your grades, and you just think it's too hard, you could always look for a tutor. or, better yet, join a study group! (you can meet people that way, too.) if you're just not interested in the work, it may be hard, but just try to get interested. you won't raise your grades by being indifferent.
and, lastly, as for the guy thing, you seem like you'd be pretty good as an independent woman as soon as you regain this confidence that i know you still have. i know it'd be great to have a boyfriend to talk to, especially if you don't have many people to talk to, and who you know cares about you as much as you care about them, but you don't need a guy to know your worth. go out, be the person you know you can be, make friends, and the guy issue will take care of itself.
just keep hope, put a smile on, and go say hi to someone. you can be who you were again...the best we've ever been is always in us somewhere, we just gotta bring it out. (sorry so long) :)
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