BLONDShorty's advice column

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Q:
okay so im 16 and i have never made out. i now have a new boyfriend and im nervous. like a part of me doesnt want him to kiss me and i dont know why. am i just nervous or am i still not ready? i mean im fine with the quick peck on the lips but i dont want to make out. i dated a guy for like 6 months without making out.. i know this cant go on forever but ah i dont know... also in a way the whole tounge in the mouth thing grosses me out... and i dont know how kiss so i wouldnt know what to do. everyone tells me to just go with the flow.. but sitll. wont your teeth knock together?
anyways..

what is wrong with me?

when i first did, his teeth knocked against mine. but, when they did. it was kind of cute. i always had a thing about saliva. like, it grossed me out like you wouldn't imagine. so, i was a little grossed ot about the tongue in the mouth thing too, but when i did it, it wasn't that bad. then i actually laughed at myself. i realized that i was just being silly. i promise you, it's not bad lol

Q: ok, i have an online friend who i've been friends with for 6 years now and i sort of have a crush on him and i think he does too...he's just an amazing guys but lately he's been moody with me and just an ass sometimes...sometimes he'll be so sweet and tell me sweet things like he likes me and that he wants to be my boyfriend and then the next time we chat, he's such an ass and denies everything he said the last time we talked!

what is that about???? can someone explain?? is he just playin with me? should i just stop talking to the guy?

I guess i should point out that he's never had a g/f, would that have anything to do with it?

ok thanks in advance for any advice given :)

maybe the one denying all of the stuff isn't really him?????

just an idea

Q: hey!
i was wondering if i can have your e-mail address so we can talk about the problem.
i just wanna talk more about it privately.
thanks.

yeahh i do

cristy_mar_xo@yahoo.com

Q: i'm completely stuck to my past. there's there two boys, let's call them cole and tommy. now, cole was my first boyfriend and tommy was my first love. somehow, one day, they popped in my mind. both of them. and now, i act like i'm going out with them, getting jealous with every girl that talks to them, being selfish. it just seems weird that they suddenly comes back to my life, and everything that happened between me and them just comes back to mind. now, i just want to be part of their lives all over again, and be more than friends to them. but they seemed to have moved on. and i guess i need to, too. but i can't do it. i want them back. i want everything back. now i'm just cherishing everything i had, and blaming myself for not being able to know what i had before i lost it. and last night, i suddenly had the urge of asking cole out. i would feel weird, but i do like him again, but i don't wanna seem like i'm desperate for a boyfriend or anything. what should i do? i really need perspective on this, from everybody. thanks in advance.

oh my goodness gracious. i didn't think that there was anyone out there that had this same problem as me! i am going thorugh the same thing that you are! i know how you feel. i had a situation like this with two boys. i don't know what to tell you exactly, since i have the same problem. but, seriously, if you ever need to talk about it, i would be MORE THAN HAPPY!!!!!! send me a message to my inbox because i'd love to talk if you ever need it.

i know i wasn't much help
i'm sorry =(

but, i can relate =)

Q: I'm 13. I have a MAJOR crush. But, according to my friends, he's not just a crush anymore. Well, I really like him. When I got ahold of his email, we started chatting online all the time. Finally some of my friends dilivered his message. He liked me too. One day while we were chatting he asked me out to the movies. I couldn't believe that I wasn't able to go. Anyways, now, according to my friends, he's my officail boyfriend. That the part I'm not so sure about. I mean, a boyfreind when you're only 13? I feel too young for that... Is he my officail boyfriend or am I really too young for that kind of thing?

no you're not too young at all. i remember when i was 13. that's when i started talking to boys and stuff. it's a perfect age

Q: AHH Please help me anyone!! My dad just started smoking and I'm sorry but I hate smoking and cigarettes and lighters and the smell I just hate every single part of it, plus I didn't want my dad to start smoking...so when he came home, I snuck into his car, and there is this little compartment where he puts his cigarettes and lighter, so I put this note to him that shows him all the bad points of smoking, and how it can effect you..and then I stole his lighter and it's hidden in my sock drawer!! But I am sooooo SCARED because he gets really mean sometimes (but he never abuses me or anything.) so I'm really scared for what he is going to do!! Was this a good idea?! I think he smokes every night outside from like 8:30 to 9:00 ( he doesnt think I know.) Please someone tell me if this was a good idea, or what I should do ?! PLEASE HELP ME ASAP!

P.S.- is it ok to keep a lighter in a sock drawer? Or will like my dresser blow up?!

Thank you so much!

well, i think it's a good idea. i suggest that you talk to him about it as soon as possible and let him know why you did it, but you're dad must be very happy to have dautghter/son like you!!!! that's very sweet of you to do

Q: I wear black eyeliner right now. But i was watching The Tyra Show and she said that White eyeliner makes your eyes stand out more. If Thats True Does it look good.

If you can answer by tomorrow or saturday. Thats wonderful but Anytime IS good also.

Thank you.

well, it's actually very good for the top of your eyes. put it on your eyelid but for the bottom of your eye, put black!!!!! when i bought it, that's what they told me to use it as

Q: Can you shave your legs using soap and will it give you razor burn?

yeah u can use soap but it probably won't give you the same results as shaving cream

Q: I am a female gonna be 20 next month.Me and that guy we've been together for 4 months.In the beginning it was so beautiful we were like 2 little birds but by the end of may everything change even if i call him he does'nt wanna stay on the phone with me, not only that but everything change about him.I ask him to break up he doesn't wanna,he said dat he still has the same love that he had the 1st day we have met.Do you think he got another girl or wat?Cuz I don't know wat to do

just play hard to get a little bit. he'll get the message

Q: Me and my ex-boyfriend (first love) might try to try it again and see if it works this time. I still love and care about him. But there's another guy who I like and he likes me as well and wants to be with me. He hasn't caused me nearly as much pain as my ex (actually he hasn't caused me any) but I don't know who to choose or what to do? I love my ex even though it's been over a year since we broke up, but I also am starting to catch feelings for this new guy. Please help me . I will rate

well, you're first love is always going to be your first love. you'll never feel the same about anyone else because he was the first one to give you the feelings you felt. my suggestion is that you get to know this new guy a little. just talk to him and see if he has true possibilites for you. but, you're always going to feel stronger feelings for the first boy! so, get to know the other one and if you think your first is better, which you most likely will. i say, go for it!

Q: Okay, so my older half sister and brother have planned this trip to Florida, 5 days in Disney World!!! I was really excited...until I found out two things...

1. My sister and brother might be bringing their side of the fmaily that I've never even met. Which includes parents and kids. (I do NOT like kids) I'll just feel like a blacksheep.
2. PANIC! AT THE DISCO is playing the SAME DAY I'll be GONE!! (San Diego, August 1st)

My mom has allowed me to choose whether or not to go. Should I stay and experience an awesome Panic! concert or spend 5 days in Disney World with people I don't really know????

I don't want any regrets...

hey, i live in florida so i've been to disney world a countless amount of times in my life, and it's amazing! it's still amazing every time i go even if i've been there a guzzilion times...... but disney is also about the people you go with. you won't have fun if you go with people you don't know..... i suggest you go to the concert because if all those people are going, you probably won't have as much fun as you would if you went with those you do know and know that you would have fun with

hope i helped xoxo

Q: Ok, first of all I'm very self concious about the number of friend I have so I was wondering how many is a good amount? Or just any advice on that problem at all?

Next, I'm starting a new school next year and going to camp this year and all that jazz. Do you have any tips on making new friends?

well, quality is more important than quantity.

although, it is important to know as many people in school as possible and to get along with them

but have a few you can really trust

hope i helped xoxo

Q: i dont really want to get into things but i want to forget this guy REALLY BADLY! i dont need him, but its really hard to forget & go on...what can i do? he basicly doesnt talk to me anymore after i said i hated him (it was this stupid fight about feelings & shit). what can i do???
please and thankyou

the best way to get over a guy is to find a new guy =)
hope i helped xoxo

Q:
Ok,I'm 18/F and the other day I caught my brother he's 16 dressed in my clothes,I mean everything bra,panties,mini-skirt the works when he saw me he started crying,,,,too make a long story short he told me he has been wearing my clothes for a while and that he wants to be a girl. He said that he's sick of pretending and asked if I would help him shop and teach him about makeup,I love my brother an told him I would but I find this very weird. What should I do ?????

well, you are his sister so ur brother probably loves you very much. maybe he doesn't want to talk to your parents about this. your closer in age to him than they are, so if i were you, i would talk to him first and try to figure out what the problem is exactly and ask him why he didn't say anything before. talk to him. ur his sister and he probably wants to talk to you first before going to your parents!

Q: this may be a little weird...but i was wondering, is it better to sleep with a bra or without one? thanks

without is definatley more comfortable most of the time but when they hurt sometimes, i think a sports bra is really comfortable to sleep with

Q: My friend said the first time she smoked a cigarette, she got "high" and she felt jittery and light-headed. Is that true? I mean, can that happen with a cigarette? I'll rate high for good answers. Thanks

some people are more sensitive to cigarettes than others, so it just depends on the person
hope i helped xoxo

Q: Let me start of by saying: I would not be asking this if I didnt already feel bad && want to change this. SO please, don't preach.

Down right to the point?
I stole my friend's new 300 dollar digital camera. (reminder: I know it was wrong, no lecturing)

While doing it, i KNEW it was wrong.
When she noticed it was gone, she cried.
It broke my heart.

I know God forgives, but my gut tells me..he won't.

I don't know, I want to send it back to her.
I think I will, as soon as I get her adress.
i CAN'T APOLOGIZE THOUGH. I CANT TELL HER.

I don't even know why I did it.
I love her. Im not jealous of her.
I don't need a digitial camera.
I don't want one.

But I did it anyway.
Just because I knew I could.
I knew I wouldn't get caught.

I'm evil. I'm a really bad person, I know.

Yet, I can't change it.
Here's where I need help.

- appologizing to God for this.

HOW? I knew it was wrong while doing it, I knew the devil was pushing me and God was telling me not to, yet I listened to the devil.
It's happened before. I never learn.
I'll always do the wrong thing.
So what? he's just going to keep forgiving me?

- how do I stop this

any ideas?

- this feeling

even if I give it back, I'll never forget what I did. seeing her cry. knowing how much it meant to her yet still taking it. how can i forgive myself for it? what should I do? I know myself very well. I wont change, I'll do it again. And I wont let myself forget it. I know I'll always feel bad because of this.

AHHH GOSSSHH just help me please, I feel awful.
what should I do? with everything?

this feeling is sick.
I want to die.

as far as God forgiving you: yes, God always forgives. But, while you are asking God for forgiveness, ask him to give you the stregth and help you not to do things like this anymore, if you feel that you will continue. or go to confession

about the camera: you saw her crying and it touched you! so, you know you have the heart to give it back to her. whether you are going to admit to her that it was you or not is your choice! auno how old you are or how old the girl is, but if that girl lives with her mom, she's probably gonna give her a hard time about the camera, and how much it cost. she is probably telling her "i can't believe i bought someone so irresponsible something so expensive" or the girl herself probably feels irresponsible. but, if her mother knows someone took it and is giving it back, maybe she'll give her daughter a break

i hope i helped xoxo

Q: hey im 14/f and my bf is 19/f i dont have a problem with it but i just wondered what do other people think? Well that isnt really my problem. The thing is i havent actually met him. When we meet we are gonna sleep together, he is gonna come such a long way to come see me and im not sure if im gonna do it because i want to or because i feel like i have to because hes gonna come all this way, i dunno the next time ill have a chance, but i do want to, I love him, What do i do? I really like this guy. What do you think about my situation, and what should i do?

well, i think that you should be extremely careful! if you've never met the guy in ur life, then how are you so sure that he really is what you think he is. he could be a 50 year old drunk that sits infront of the TV and drinks beer all day! and if this is the first time that you "meet" him, you shouldn't sleep with him. i'm not saying any of this because of the age gap. i mean, i know that 5 years might seem like a lot to some people, but that really all depends on the way that each individual looks at it. but my advice is don't sleep with him on the first date. hopefully, he won't be the kind of man that i described, but just be very careful. you might want to have a friend with you if you do decide to meet him. just incase

i hope i helped
xoxo

Q: I was looking at my feedback but I forgot which question I answered so I went back and checked. As I was looking I noticed someones answer and I didn't know if it was true.

I don't want to embarass anybody so i'll just describe the situation. One girl stated that she hasn't had her period in 4 months and was wondering what she should do. Then this one girl answered:
If you have oral sex then there might be a chance of pregnancy, but if not, then it is probably just still irregular. It takes up to two years for a period to regulate, and if you have had your period for over two years, then you should tell your mom or a doctor.

Is it true you can get pregnat from oral sex?

&&thanks

absolutely not!!!!! thers just no way

Q: I`m going to start out by saying this will be long, but thanks so much to anyone who reads this all and helps me out.
I have this best friend, Casey. Words cannot descibe how much of a bff she is to me. She knows everything about me, and always knows what I`m about to say. Were with each other 24/7 and we hardly fight. She`s practicly my sister, we do everything together.

A week ago, she got this new boyfriend, this guy that I didn't like before she started dating him. His name is Nick, he`s 12, shes 13. Casey is a virgin, he isn`t. They`ve already done sexual stuff together and its their first stupid week together.

Last night I was hanging out with both of them and Nick lit up a ciggarrette, and exchanged some pot with another older guy. He offered us both some, Casey would have taken some, but didn't when she saw how mad I got. We were way back on the golf cart paths somewhere, and it was raining, I didn`t want to be in the situation so I started crying and ran away. I was lost along the paths cause I had no clue where I was. Casey didn`t follow me, even though she promised me earlier if I wanted to leave she would come with me. Nick chased after me, blew smoke all over me, and burned me with his ciggarette to make fun of me. I ended up calling Jordan, my other best guy friend, he and his mom drove 45 minutes back into the woods to pick me up only to find I was stained with the smell of ciggarrets, and crying all alone, cause I knew my best friend was slipping away. I don`t know what to do, she used to be a good girl, she never would have done any of this. Now she won`t listen to me, at all, she said she`ll never accept any of the drugs, but I know she will, she almost took them last night and she told me "they were no big deal" She got mad at me when I left cause I was being "immature and embarrassing her" When my dad picked me up, after Jordan dropped me off at her house, he smelt me and now he thinks I`m a smoker, and won`t belive that it wasn`t me. What should I do? PLEASE PLEASE guys, I`m really upset, I`m losing her, please.

ask her if she wants to risk the friendship that you have with her or her relationship with everyone else just for one stupid boy that's nothing but a pothead!

xoxo

bio

I started this column when I was 15 years old, so you'll notice that the advice has gotten better and better. I've always been interested in counseling and I started this column to gain experience. But, I found a lot more than that. I found a support system of caring and loving people. I received a degree in child development and currently working towards becoming a school psychologist. So, I hope you can feel confident in trusting me with your questions. This is more than just a fun site for me. I look back on my own questions from years ago, and I laugh when I read about my problems at 16. I've really come a long way! I'm relatively young, but I've had several experiences in life that have aided me in helping others. I hope to use those experiences for the greater good and help others who are not in their ideal situation!