A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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okay everytime me and my boyfriend have sex i get this really weird feeling down there thats kind of uncomfortable and idk what it is does this ever go away? (link)
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Way too general a question for any decent answer
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This is going to be long, I won't lie to you. I would post this question to the whole site, rather than just you, but it's damn hard to find a guy who will give an honest answer. I've been looking for a while, and I think that I've found that guy.
So feel free to ignore this question if you don't have the energy to answer another confused girl looking for advice on men.
Basically, I'm a 17, and a junior in high school. I've like this same guy since 6th grade, back when I didn't even know what liking someone meant. He asked me out once, however I turned him down. Now, I'm pretty sure he's moved on and forgotten about me, however, I definitely haven't forgotten about him. Whenever I think about him or pass him in a hallway or something, I feel awful. This is mostly because I don't know if I'll ever get another chance with him.
I don't want to graduate high school and never see him again, only to wonder about what would have happened if I had the guts to talk to him.
So, basically, my first question is:
what should I do about him? do you think I should talk to him, even though it would be weird because I haven't talked to him for about four years?
or should I try to let go of him?
Okay, moving on.
There's this guy in my math class whom I've befriended. He has a girlfriend, and even though he does, I can't help but imagine myself with him. I don't even know if I like him, but I'm pretty sure I do, because I've told him things that my best friend doesn't even know.
So, my question is, if you like a girl, how do you let her know that you're interested?
What attracts you to someone, and why?
Thanks for your time and I apologize for the length.
And seriously, thank you for being someone who I can go to for an honest answer. A lot of people on this site tell you what you want to hear, and I don't want that.
(link)
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Ok. I'll kind of give two separate answers, as they dont seem to be overly linked here.
So the guy you've liked since 6th grade. You should talk to him.
I'll explain something about guys and how we don't work like girls do. Most guys are interested in most people they meet who fit their orientation. And unless he has had reason to dislike you, those feelings are probably still there in latent form.
If hes single, go for it. Show interest. Be very obvious about it. Go so far as to ask him out.
The way I see it, you have less than two years left of high school. You probably arent talking to him right now anyway and things feel really awkward around him.
If you don't take this chance you probably will regret it. If it works out, then you are dating a guy you really like. If it doesnt, then nothing really changes.
Now, the second guy.
How do you let a girl know you're interested? We don't really. Usually its in some bumbling clumsy manner. I used to mention that I liked a girl around but not to her friends, so that word would get back to her and everyone would think I didnt want her to know. I'd walk a girl to class or just talk to her alot more for no reason at all.
As to attraction, that varies widely from guy to guy and to be honest, some people are attracted without ever knowing why.
Example, I dated 5 Choir girls in high school. I didnt even realize it until later that they were all in Choir (they werent all in the same Choir, most went to different schools) but it was something about a girl who would randomly sing a little bit that really attracted to me. Similarly, I have a knack for picking out girls who are sexual people with somewhat to very open minds. Its not neccesarily a concious attraction but every girl Ive dated has been a bit on the kinky side, and there are things that I apparently pick up on unconsciously where I can detect that in a girl.
Most guys are the same. Half the time you cant figure out exactly what it is about a girl that makes those sparks fly, but we definitely know when they do.
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me and my boyfriend have been going out for 9 months and two weeks ago i broke up with him because for the last 2 months he has been so mean to me it's ridiculous. well turns out he was so hurt from me breaking up with him he didnt talk to me for a week and i tried so hard to talk to him but he just said mean things to me. fast foward to tonight, we finally worked things out and i told him while we were broken up i kissed another guy thinking that he would appreciate my honesty but i just got screamed at for that. We are finally going back out but it has to be a huge secret because his parents dont want us together. so today he snuck over my friends and we were drinking and i told him not to drink too much sine he had to go home and he had 8 beers and was really tipsy and kept annoying me to have sex with him and like i finally gave in because he gets mad when I dont so i did but he could tell i wasnt into it [ i wasnt wet] so he got pissed off and flipped at me, but he was drunk but still. then he started screaming at me for kissing another guy eventhough he said he was over it and he broke up with me over it and whenever i say he hurt me he always goes "well you kissed that guy" and before he left he said dont listent o me im drunk i love you i promise ill call you tonight. and i said pleasse call it'll break my heart if you dont and he never called. this isnt the first time he's done this to me, he doesnt have a cell fone either and he has work tomorrow and i cant call his house ever. now the guy that i kissed really likes me and hes sweet but hes kind of not my type but hes hot and popular and an amazing football player, i just dont knw what to do please help me out! (link)
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That is quite the story.
At this point, I would say you don't want guy 1 whom you've been with for 9 months. Honest appraisal here, I mean hes no catch. He drinks too much, he pesters for sex, and you are having sex you arent into.
You kissed another guy when you were broken up. Yeah, there are always going to be bad feelings there. My girlfriend and I just got back together after a two month break. We both slept with other people. We're both working past those emotions together. The key there is working together. We talk about whats going on in our heads and work through it together.
He doesnt sound like the type to do that, he sounds like someone who just likes throwing a tantrum for whatever he wants. And your history shows that you give in. The relationship isnt going to change, not with someone who is that immature.
There is such a thing as too much bad history, and my advice there is break it off and leave it off. Honestly speaking, hes not going to change unless he gets a huge kick in the ass, and if you have any interest in being with him still, you guys need a break for a month or more. I normally say two to three months, enough time to make definite changes, not enough time to grow apart and fall out of love generally.
Now, the second guy, I'll just say don't read too much into a guy who you kissed. I used to be the sweet hot somewhat popular football player myself. I was also kind of an asshole, it comes with the territory. Proceed with caution.
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ok, this is going to be kind of long... I am in a relationship with this perfect guy, he seems like the perfect guy for me!! :) and i have never been happier in any other relationship. so we just hit our 4th mnth, and this is my 3rd relationship in my entire life. and i have never kissed a guy before (as in with tongue and all), untill i dated this guy, and so he is experienced and has gone up to third base, i havent gone anywhere, only 1st base! nothing compared to him.. the problem is, i dont want to move to second or third base yet, because i dont like my boobs being touched or any type of oral sex or groping and etc. whenever we kiss he touchs my back and so that is the only place he touchs, im happy he respects the fact that i dont feel comfortable being touched anywhere else, but i dont want to 'deprive' him of anything, because i am happy with where we are at the moment, and i dont want him to just bear with me even if he wants more out of this relationship. i believe he should be as happy as i am because we are both in the same relationship and together. i told him to tell me if he wants more from me, he said he will tell me, but i feel he is too much of a nice guy to actually tell me the truth, whether he wants more or not, and being afraid to lose me he wont tell me what he truly wants. besides the fact that we have hit our 4th mnth and he probably expects more from me than what he already gets... so help me!! i want to keep him and not lose him, he is too nice to tell me the truth, whether he wants more from me or not. and so.. please help!! any form of opinion or whatever will definitely help in a way i suppose.
thankyou!! (link)
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He wants more.
I guarantee it.
All guys want sex on some level. Some guys have lower sex drives than others. What that means to you, is that he might definitely be the kind of guy who never mentions it even though he wants it.
4 months without a tongue kiss is a while by most people's standards. Now is the time for you to figure out if you WANT to do these things with him at some point. You know, do you want to go further than a close mouthed kiss.
Once you know that, you can figure out trying to start pushing your own boundaries or not.
But yeah, all guys want it. Thats universal. I guarantee you that if you offered him more he wouldnt turn it down.
The trouble here is, will he wait? I cant tell you that. Don't know him, how he thinks, or what specifically he wants and is comfy with and how much he wants it. Talk to him. Try to figure that out.
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16/f okay so my bf smokes alot. just going to get that out there right now. weed and cigs. and at times it seems that he would rather do that then be with me. like sometimes he wont come to school because he would rather go do that. and me and him dont hang out alot outside of school so its like if he is dropping school he is dropping me.... anyways there is 2 things i can do. i can tell him we need a break and that i still like him but he needs to sort out his priorities or i can stay with him and believe he will straighten up like he says he will.he says he is going to start coming back to school and be a better bf which he has lately.... i just need to know what the right thing to do is. i mean when he is with me he makes me so happy and i cant stop smiling but he does hurt me too :( so somebody please help me. i want the most effective way and if he doesnt want to be helped and keeps it up i will break up with him and move on. but fully breaking up with him right now isnt an option, he means too much and i want him to knoe i am here for him. so please help me if you can and thanks in advance (link)
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Your boyfriend is a loser. The more quickly you figure that out and get out of the relationship, the better off you will be.
I'm sorry, but its the truth. Hes already starting a habit of allowing substance abuse to ruin his life. He is not learning how to be a functional person without the drugs and you would be smart not to get caught up in that.
Honestly, yeah you like your boyfriend. Exclusive attention from someone is always flattering. But I guarantee you that any guy you find yourself interested in is going to make you feel that way. Don't settle for him just because you arent sure about being alone right now.
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How do you break up with a guy without hurting his feelings? But without telling him the truth, he is bigger and i'm not physically attracted to that? We were friends before we started dating and i want to go back to being friends? Thanks!
16/f (link)
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Be honest with him.
Lying to him isnt going to do him any good. If you cant be attracted to him, as much as its going to hurt you, he deserves to know that. Because hes not going to change anything about himself that might need to be changed if you don't show him that the world is shallow and judgemental and that that affects things in his life.
The truth sucks, and yes, it will make him more cynical. But at least armed with the knowledge he might make a change that will make his life easier.
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i've liked this guy since i was in seventh grade & i'm a sophomore in highschool now; he's a bit older than me and my parents would kill me if they knew i was hanging out with him.
but i'd been friends with him since i was in 4th grade, and we've been keeping in touch since then.
so we hung out in secret twice, after the 2nd time he asked if i wanted to hook up with him... of course i said yes.
so afew weeks ago, he picked me up from a friend's house and i FINALLY hooked up with him, after all these years of liking him so so so much. he's all i would talk about, think about, and he was just my world. when he dropped me off we even kissed goodbye, too. afterward he said he really enjoyed it and was really glad it wasnt awkward. that just made me insanely happy right?
well after that, he stopped talking to me. we'd make small talk here and there, but nothing's been the same... he doesnt call me sweetheart or anything anymore:(
i even asked him if something was wrong and he totally denied it too. he said stuff like "i've been busy with school and work and everything" and that kind of thing. and after a bunch of one worded responses, he'd ignore me completely, and days would go by with no word from him
(sorry this is so long)
i've been a little stalkerish and he's been going about his normal life, which includes ignoring me now. what should i do? he's literally breaking my heart, i can't get over him i just see him as the perfect guy for me. . . and i'm not interested in anyone else at all. PLEASE help me i'm so sick of feeling depressed all the time. (link)
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Don't give it up so easily.
He never really liked you back, but he was perfectly willing to use you.
Stay away from him. Give it time. There is no fixing this, he is not the guy you thought he was and he is obviously not interested in you. If you keep pursuing him you're only going to postpone the time when you actually have to accept this and get over it.
In the future, make a guy work a little for it. Know that he cares about you before you have sex with him or anything like that rather than having sex and hoping that he likes you after.
"Hooking up" is a terrible idea. Don't do it anymore. Of course he was glad to hook up with you. He got laid. But thats all it was to him.
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I'm a 29 yr old female. Don’t know how to explain this, but I have a friend, actually "friends with benefits" sorta thing, whom I used to hangout with all the time, dance with, go clubbing, hang out with his friends, so we were like buddies…and YES we have been “physical”.
Lately he has been acting weird (cold, nasty attitude, careless...) and he simply stopped calling me or ask me to join him/his group for no reason and no explanation whatsoever! But he's still hanging out with his other friends & enjoying his life...while I am left out, boiling with rage…feeling dumped, used, and humiliated. My pride couldn’t let me call him to question him about his weird behavior.He’s a reckless bastard, and has many options on the shelf (so he doesn’t need me) which makes it harder to get him back on his knees! And i dont have other alternative friends whom i can move on with, cuz i've been hanging out with him for the last few months. I don’t love him, but I feel like a fool and want to revenge to regain my self image and self-esteem back!I’m just UNABLE to get over it! It’s frustrating me! And I will only be relieved once I make him feel sorry and regretful!!
(link)
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Sweetheart, you should have long since learned to let these things go.
Yes, you've been fucking a douche. It happens. I know plenty of girls who bitch about how they all do it too.
But, when you are looking for a friend with benefits, usually the guy who is into that kind of relationship for more than a few months is either a douche or has a wall 50 feet thick between himself and his emotions and generally acts in a similar manner.
Simply put, at the beginning he put what investment you required for sex. As time went on, sex was assumed and he didnt have to keep doing those things to get laid. He got bored with it, and this is the result.
You both used each other, and he was done using you first. Else you got more invested in him than you should have been for a fuckbuddy.
Move on, and don't be as careless with your feelings next time or don't get into FWB relationshps with douchey guys.
And just a little sidenote, I have been a vindicitive person. At the end of the day, getting your revenge doesnt make you feel any better. Because the cathartic jolt from punishing someone you think deserves it doesnt last very long.
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Alright. Im 15. And I do know that right now is really early to start having sex. or whatever. But i feel really pressured. Everyone had girlfriends or boyfriends. And Im like the odd one out. And I feel like, whenever I do have a boyfriend, and I do refuse to have sex, they might breakup with me. Because right now is so sex realated. Everything is about sex. And more sex. Or "head".. I dont know. So Im thinking what is the worse thing that can happen if I do decide to have sex right now. I will just be up to date. And If i use a condom. Everything will be ok..??
And just so you know. Im not the one just to go find some dude and have sex with him. I will go through the regular process or whatever. and like wait like 3 months to start..but im still really iffy about the situation.??
I dont know. I just feel out. (link)
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Normal.
Very normal.
Let me explain how kids work.
When they do something, they encourage others to do it. Because if everyone you know is doing something, none of you can be wrong, right?
Thats how young adults think. I used to do it myself. At the absolute best, having sex right now may be right for them, and is not right for you. At worse, having sex right now is not right for them OR you.
Dont put a time limit on it. You should not have sex until you know you will not regret it afterwards. Until you know you wont regret who you have it with afterwards either.
Sex is going to be around you. That doesnt mean you need to start as early as other people do. You have a very good head on your shoulders, don't let what other people do confuse you about whats right for you personally.
Honestly, I am very impressed by you. Rarely have I encountered a 15 year old girl who can see the situation and the pressures she is under this clearly. Most just think "well I want it, I guess I should now"
Its that immature line of thought that I just mentioned that is why you know so many other people who are having sex.
Read up on it, first of all. Google has all kinds of things about sexual instructions. Just do a search and start ingesting information.
As far as condoms and such.
Get on birth control. I say this to anyone. Get on birth control. It is one of the most foolproof methods, its easy to do, and its another line of defense. Condom, in my opinion, is more for preventing STDs than pregnancy. You should always have a second line of defense.
Also, look up VCF. Vaginal Contraceptive Film. Its basically spermicide. If you put it in 15 minutes before sex, you are on birth control, and you use a condom, it would take an act of God to get you pregnant.
Thats what my current and I do. And you know what? Never a single real pregnancy scare, never had to deal with an abortion. And we're both tested clean on STDs.
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What is the safest time for a woman to have sex? (link)
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Actually Cali is wrong.
After your period is safest, normally two days to a week after it stops.
During your period it is actually still very possible to get pregnant. Because you cant know until the period is over that the egg has definitely gone. But after your period, the egg is gone and normally you do not ovulate for at least two weeks after, which is the "safe" time.
Use a condom regardless, and get on birth control.
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OH MY GOSH. Alright so I tried waxing down there because I absolutely hate hair, and it was terrible pain. I don't like shaving because it gets itchy and they grow back in like two seconds. How can i get it to hurt less, or like numb it or something. I mean it's terrible pain. I'll take any advice I can get. Thanks soo much (:
14/f (link)
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Beard Trimmer.
In long experience with girls who like to maintain things downstairs, shaving is a terrible idea. Stubble sucks. It really sucks. Really really really sucks. It doesnt feel good for either party.
The same time... well personally I do not like a "natural" bush. I trim myself and I expect my girlfriend too (shes like you, hates having hair down there)
Our solution was a beard trimmer. With it, you can shave down below and get the majority of the hair out of the way. But at the same time, a beard trimmer is not going to get all of the hair off. What it does, is it cuts most of it off and you have tiny hairs left.
These hairs are long enough to be soft and non-irritating. No ingrown hairs or anything like that. No razorburn. But they are short enough that they do not get in the way at all.
Doing this has solved all of our problems in this regard. She keeps it short and manageable and avoids all the unpleasantness of a razor downstairs, I get a girl who is well groomed. Everyone wins.
Until we can afford laser hair removal (thats going to be her wedding present from me)
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my boyfriend is obsessed with my tits. he always wants to go up my shirt and see them and everything. we love eachother so it's not like im uncomfortable with it and i honestly dont care, so i guess my question is..why do guys like boobs so much? (link)
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Jeanne hit it on the nose.
I'm a guy. I dont have boobs. Thus, the fact that girls have them is one of the things that separates us from you.
I'll give you a reverse example. My girlfriend loves playing with me. She doesnt have a dick, and so being able to play with one is fun for her.
I mean, I have a penis. Always have. Having a dick is not something thats new to me. The penis holds no mystery. I know what its like to have one.
I cant say the same for boobs. So I enjoy them when I get to play with them, because its not something I can do every day (well, it used to not be anyway)
Its also visual appeal. Men, for better or worse, are ugly. I mean, really. The male body is utilitarian and practical. Compare that to a girl. Women are curvy, hips, breasts, legs, butt, it all flows together and is very pleasing to look at. Very sensual. And being a tactile species, that which is fun to look at is also often fun to touch.
Honestly, part of it is probably hes just inexperienced. I used to think a woman's cleavage was the end all be all of existence. I thought that nothing was better. Then I became sexually active, and breasts werent off limits the way they had been before. Now, I just enjoy them. I still very much love playing, but they arent a huge taboo mystery any more.
But always will remain the fact, I dont have any, and so I will always want to play with someone else's.
Its like when you're 10 and some kid down the block has this great toy that you dont have, and you always want to play with it. Pretty much the same motivation.
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Ok the girl i like got in trouble by her parents cause a guy she was texting said he wanted to send her a pic of his penis and her parents saw it... well now becuae of that we dont think her parents would let us go out and plus to make things worst im a senior and she is a freshmen (Both in High School) so her parents just think i want to have sex witch i really dont i really like her what should i do? (link)
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If it wasnt you who sent it, explain that to them.
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I had sex ONCE with my boyfriend in late October. He used a condom and it was only for a few minutes, but i'm so ridiculously paranoid. I know he didn't ejaculate because he told me. I've had my period sense then, but my stomach has been hurting for a while. There's been a bad cold going around so i'm pretty sure that's it.
is there any way i'm pregnant? (link)
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You would have alot more signs than a stomach ache by now if you were pregnant from one sexual encounter in late october.
You would be having morning sickness and a bunch of other signs by now.
So, 99.9% chance, you are not pregnant.
If you are worried, go get a home test. Confirm it.
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I've had a friend for about 3 going on 4 years,
we've never been anything more than friends but I liked him and he liked me at a time too.
We lost our virgnity to eachother once and got into this fight and didnt talk to much for a few monthes.
We made up and became friends again[i never stopped liking him]
He acted like he liked me ,but we still didnt go out.
Since about June,we've both been sexually active without ONLY eachother
but we aren't going out,but at the same time I still like him but i feel like its been way to long to tell him ,and he said he used to like me but idk about now.
And i learned about something called oxytocin,or "love glue" and i feel like im really attached to him ,because i havent been able to get over him no matter what,but ive been able to get over other guys i HAVENT had sex with,which i havent had sex with anyone except him ...
Do you think he's attatched to me to..?
I know its wrong to do stuff with someone your not going out with,and i dont have sex with him just because he wants to ,because i want to as well,but i dont know im kind of confused... (link)
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Be careful.
Every woman Ive ever met has become very attached to their first. Its natural. You don't want to let that go.
But... being in love with someone who is not in love with you is something that tears people up inside.
There may come a time when you have to walk away. You cannot be friends with someone you are in love with who isnt returning it. He is attached to you on some level, but I cannot say how far that goes without knowing him and talking to him.
Talk to him. Be honest. Tell him that you care for him as more than a friend and you want him to be yours, and to be his. See if he responds to that.
If not, its probably time to move on. You will have to eventually, and the longer things go the harder that gets.
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Hi, Im 24 years old and so I think im addicted to sex or just sexual pleasure Im currently in a relationship (3yrs) and its becoming a problem between us Im to horny she is not. I think about it all the time I need it from her or im just upset or down I show her love its not like Im just here for sex but it is a perk in a relationship or thats how I look at it. She never wants it, its more of an occasional thing I need it everyday more than once and its more like 3-4 times a month if that, and Ive delt with it for 3 years of being with her now its really becoming an issue and I hate it I love her and Im trying not to act on my sexual feelings like releasing as much as I can before I see her (sorry if its to much info trying to get it out literally lol) that doesnt work its getting so bad that I start scimming through porn I hate porn I want the real thing ya know. I have even notice myself flirting a bit more and thats the last thing I want to do is cheat guess what Im trying to ask is how normal is this and is this a therapy type deal should stay with her or is it wrong? (link)
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Off the cuff, my answer is that you two are not compatible.
I am like you. Incredibly high sex drive. Twice a day whenever possible is my minimum. I knew this about myself from day 1. I am a sexual person and I have to be in a relationship with someone who is very sexual as well.
It took me a long time to find my current. But, she is very like me in a number of key ways, that being one of them. Sex is a priority for her, the same as it is for me, and generally if we don't have sex its because shes too sore from sex earlier to be able to.
You may love her. But if you spend your life with her, you won't be happy with the relationship. Sex is a huge part of a serious relationship, both members have to see eye to eye. Its fine for her to have a low sex drive if you do too. But if one of you has a very high drive and one a very low one it causes issues because you will either be miserable, or cheat.
It is very important that partners understand that their job is to take care of their partners needs. The best relationships are based on this concept. Take care of your partner first and you second.
If you spend your life with a woman who is not capable of doing that in the sexual realm, I guarantee it will fuck things up. There is nothing wrong with you, its just a situation where you and her are probably not as compatible as youd like.
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Sorry if I'm not very descriptive but I saw someone playing this computer game. He was playing it with some friends and I manage to over hear and see a few details about it. Well I think it must be online multiplayer because they were able to meet each other, I think it's a combat/action type one because they were able to kill each other and see how many kills they got, and I think what they were playing was capture the flag on it since I heard one of them say they got the flag. What the environment looked like was they were running around and all I saw was like stone walls, secret passages, and ladders. And also they were playing on school computers so yeah it might be an unblocked site. All I want is I want to know game is that. (link)
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From the information given, there is no way to determine what game they were playing.
There are too many games to count that could fit that description.
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Does anyone know where I can buy sex lubrication in REAL LIFE. I know there are plenty of places to buy on the internet but I need to get it in real life. Preferably silicone based. Thank you so much. (link)
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CVS, Wal Mart, Target, any store like that will have lube in the family planning section where the condoms are.
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Ok we met on the internet and stuff he's really sweet and stuff but he likes 2 have sex WAY 2 much we met up @ this park and we were talking while standing next 2 his car with the door open and we we're talking about how much we love eachother and out of no were he kisses me about 10 times and I just ignore it but then he starts trying 2 get his hand in my pants but I wore a belt so he unbuckels it and starts fingering me 2 tell the truth it felt good but it shocked me and out of nowhere he gets on top of me and starts kissing me again I know he loves me because he writes me poems and stuff that leave me speachless and crys 2 me on the phone about how much he loves me. he's in the army I don't know what's going on I love him so much and I know he loves me I've tested him before and he's true 2 me I pretented 2 be my friend (she's a girl) and told him that I loved him on it and he told me he only loves destiny ( ps: I'm destiny) so I know that he loves me but what do I do about the sex thing (link)
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Stop him.
When his hands go somewhere, grab them, look him in the eyes, and say firmly "stop"
Talk to him and tell him that you arent ready to go that far.
I'll tell you, hes in the army. This means he has no chances to take care of sexual tension hardly at all. You cant have a high sex drive and be in the armed forces and not go completely insane. So when he sees you it comes out because hes very, very deprived.
You just have to have him understand that you have boundaries and if he wants you to eventually get comfy enough with him that you'd be OK with sex, that he has to not jump on you every time, but slow down and let you work up to intimacy at your own pace.
Hes also young. Just from his actions, hes either very young or very immature. Note that very young means under 20 to me. Younger guys havent learned the patience that makes you a great lover, and a great partner. They don't understand that about women yet. If you can teach him, you'll both be better off for it.
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I am 15/male.
Its pretty much exactley what it sounds like. Im sick of disapointing my parents. I fail school. I dress so awkwardley that there embarresed to be seen with me. Im a complete total fuck up. I have anger issues. Im always fighting with my mom. I told her i didnt want to be a part of the family, and the look on her face KILLED me inside. They found out i smoke, and my mom didnt do anything except cry. becuase her mom died at like 30 from cancer. Im always getting in trouble with them. Oh and i like men. and i cant tell them that becuase i cant and i wont deissapoint them more. Im sad to say that the easiest way to get through this, is to kill myself. Im not really looking for advice. Im kind of just venting to anyone who cares. :(
Sincerley,
Me. (link)
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You know, offering you an older perspective might help.
I went through my bad times as well. Looking back, I thought about it. I thought that it was the best way out for all involved.
But I can tell you a few things.
Suicide won't solve any problems for anyone. Your parents might be occasionally dissapointed in you. It happens. My parents were with me, we actually don't speak much anymore. But I know my parents and yours would be incredibly more devastated by one of us dying than by the discord. In time, you can and will grow closer to your parents. Rifts heal. So do old wounds and words.
If you're gay you're gay. Its who you are. You cant hate yourself for being who you are, when who you are doesnt make you a bad person. And I know its hard to look at yourself and say that you are a good person with potential, but there is that in everyone.
Maybe consider listening to them a bit more. Trying to do things their way a bit more. If what you are doing isnt working, try something new.
Suicide isnt going to get you through anything. Its just going to end things. I can tell you from experience that when you are older, you won't ever look back and say "Man, when I was 15 I should have killed myself then". Rather, you will look back and think "Im glad I got through that period in my life, because there were so many things waiting for me to stop bathing in my own misery"
You are self aware. You are not unintelligent. You have to decide that you want to make something of yourself, and then don't ever fucking stop working for it. Ever.
Because when you reach that point, where you look in the mirror and you like what you see, even with all the flaws inherent in yourself, its an amazing feeling.
Took me more than 20 years of living to do it. But when I reached the point where I saw that in myself, everything I have ever been through... the pain, the uncertainty, the fears, it was all worth it.
Because from this point on, I have a life, and I have a future, and I'm looking forwards to it.
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