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Think Im addicted to sex and currently in a relationship
Hi, Im 24 years old and so I think im addicted to sex or just sexual pleasure Im currently in a relationship (3yrs) and its becoming a problem between us Im to horny she is not. I think about it all the time I need it from her or im just upset or down I show her love its not like Im just here for sex but it is a perk in a relationship or thats how I look at it. She never wants it, its more of an occasional thing I need it everyday more than once and its more like 3-4 times a month if that, and Ive delt with it for 3 years of being with her now its really becoming an issue and I hate it I love her and Im trying not to act on my sexual feelings like releasing as much as I can before I see her (sorry if its to much info trying to get it out literally lol) that doesnt work its getting so bad that I start scimming through porn I hate porn I want the real thing ya know. I have even notice myself flirting a bit more and thats the last thing I want to do is cheat guess what Im trying to ask is how normal is this and is this a therapy type deal should stay with her or is it wrong?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First of all it is extremely rare except maybe in the first stages of falling in love, that two individuals will want sex at the same pace, or time or frequency at all times. It is normal to have one partner who wants it less than the other or just maybe not at the same time. People process life differently and sex is an agreement of two souls or at least two bodies...find a compromise. Right now you get action about weekly which aint too shabby...a lot of single people are not so lucky. Are you grateful for that? How are you treating her on a daily basis? If you are spending time in fantasy land, then you are not really appreciating and respecting her and the relationship in reality. All actions have consequences...even ones she does not "know" about have an enormous affect on the way you are then treating her and the relationship. She may want sex more than you know, but you may be pushing her away with your constant demands and complaints. Back off from any of the negative surrounding the issue and give her time and space to want you again...really want you. In the meantime, try to cool off the porn...it can become the wedge between you and what you really want. All good things are worked for...in the beginning of the relationship you worked to earn her trust, affections, respect and love. You showered her with praise and compliments, looked at her like she was an unwrapped present, someone you wanted to get to know...lately though, you have been different...it happens. Get back to earning your way in...she will be tearing your shirt off and you won't need to beg.
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Off the cuff, my answer is that you two are not compatible.
I am like you. Incredibly high sex drive. Twice a day whenever possible is my minimum. I knew this about myself from day 1. I am a sexual person and I have to be in a relationship with someone who is very sexual as well.
It took me a long time to find my current. But, she is very like me in a number of key ways, that being one of them. Sex is a priority for her, the same as it is for me, and generally if we don't have sex its because shes too sore from sex earlier to be able to.
You may love her. But if you spend your life with her, you won't be happy with the relationship. Sex is a huge part of a serious relationship, both members have to see eye to eye. Its fine for her to have a low sex drive if you do too. But if one of you has a very high drive and one a very low one it causes issues because you will either be miserable, or cheat.
It is very important that partners understand that their job is to take care of their partners needs. The best relationships are based on this concept. Take care of your partner first and you second.
If you spend your life with a woman who is not capable of doing that in the sexual realm, I guarantee it will fuck things up. There is nothing wrong with you, its just a situation where you and her are probably not as compatible as youd like.
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Well really the best thing to do is tell her about it.. but that just might gross her out.. So it's up to you. I would say this isn't normal because im a really horny person to and i like to have sex at least once a day but i dont crave it... I would go see maybe a doctor or a therapist to talk about how you feel.. Now if anything she has issue by not wanting to have sex that often.. most girls would love for a guy to wanna fuck them and plessure them.. You seem like my kinda guy.. lmao... but there is something wrong with craving it and wanting it that much.
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Normal enough, yes.
You don't need therapy.
You both may need a little kick in the butt.
Or maybe you need to break up.
Staying with her or not is a decision only you can make. Lots of couples have to deal with different sex drives, and some successfully deal with it and some don't.
But I will say this: You probably don't 'need' it everyday, and you probably aint going to get it from any girl (unless you are paying her) everyday. That is unrealistic.
If the message you are giving your girlfriend is that you 'need' it everyday, it might be a part of the problem. Feeling inadequate and like you are failing at providing for your partner is a big turn off. Keep your message positive about the sex you do have or she might be pulling away even more.
So, start talking, positively, about the sex you do have. Encourage her to talk about what she does like and want. Listen, and be open to what she has to say.
She might also just not want sex, and not be willing to compromise on that point at all, in which case, you simply need to decide if you can live with that or not.
Regardless of what you do, find some sort of porn, fantasy or erotica that you can enjoy, because you aint going to find a girl who can keep up with your idea of your 'needs'. Be pragmatic and be willing to literally take your problem into your own hands.
Be realistic and don't exaggerate! It only confuses people.
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