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Pressured. [Am i too Young ; kinda long]
Alright. Im 15. And I do know that right now is really early to start having sex. or whatever. But i feel really pressured. Everyone had girlfriends or boyfriends. And Im like the odd one out. And I feel like, whenever I do have a boyfriend, and I do refuse to have sex, they might breakup with me. Because right now is so sex realated. Everything is about sex. And more sex. Or "head".. I dont know. So Im thinking what is the worse thing that can happen if I do decide to have sex right now. I will just be up to date. And If i use a condom. Everything will be ok..??
And just so you know. Im not the one just to go find some dude and have sex with him. I will go through the regular process or whatever. and like wait like 3 months to start..but im still really iffy about the situation.??
I dont know. I just feel out.
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Normal.
Very normal.
Let me explain how kids work.
When they do something, they encourage others to do it. Because if everyone you know is doing something, none of you can be wrong, right?
Thats how young adults think. I used to do it myself. At the absolute best, having sex right now may be right for them, and is not right for you. At worse, having sex right now is not right for them OR you.
Dont put a time limit on it. You should not have sex until you know you will not regret it afterwards. Until you know you wont regret who you have it with afterwards either.
Sex is going to be around you. That doesnt mean you need to start as early as other people do. You have a very good head on your shoulders, don't let what other people do confuse you about whats right for you personally.
Honestly, I am very impressed by you. Rarely have I encountered a 15 year old girl who can see the situation and the pressures she is under this clearly. Most just think "well I want it, I guess I should now"
Its that immature line of thought that I just mentioned that is why you know so many other people who are having sex.
Read up on it, first of all. Google has all kinds of things about sexual instructions. Just do a search and start ingesting information.
As far as condoms and such.
Get on birth control. I say this to anyone. Get on birth control. It is one of the most foolproof methods, its easy to do, and its another line of defense. Condom, in my opinion, is more for preventing STDs than pregnancy. You should always have a second line of defense.
Also, look up VCF. Vaginal Contraceptive Film. Its basically spermicide. If you put it in 15 minutes before sex, you are on birth control, and you use a condom, it would take an act of God to get you pregnant.
Thats what my current and I do. And you know what? Never a single real pregnancy scare, never had to deal with an abortion. And we're both tested clean on STDs.
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Darling,
Young teenage girls go through a lot of peer pressure and end up doing something they regret like sex and end up pregnant. Using condoms aren't that safe as well.
Trust me if a guy leaves you because you don't have sex with him how stupid is he? Very. So your better off without guys like that. The advice that i'm going to give you is straight forward but the wisest thing to do.
Honey don't have sex because your friends are and just to get in with it. Your friends may be popular because they have but they are making huge mistakes and are acting like sluts, they may be popular now but what will they do when they get pregnant? Do you actually think they will be in a great situation then. No.
Sweetheart you are in a safe position so keep to it until you are old enough to have sex and it's with the right person not after 3 months or whatever. Sweety safe yourself while you've got the chance so don't do anything you'll regret.
Mandy
xxx
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You're right, everything nowadays IS about sex. We live in a very sex-saturated world. It's very hard not to feel the pressure to have sex when it seems everyone else is. I'm sure that you want to see what the big fuss is all about. Believe it or not though, not everyone is having sex. A lot more people claim to be having sex than actually are having sex - especially at your age people tend to exaggerate their sexual experience.
Now I'm not going to tell you what to do, but consider this: a couple of years from now you meet the guy of your dreams. You end up in a relationship with him for a prolonged period of time and everything feels right. It comes to the point in your relationship when you're both ready for sex. Would you regret the fact you lost it before you met him because you felt pressured to do it? Will you have wish you had waited for him (i.e. someone special) ? Ask yourselves these questions. Many people regret having sex at a young age because they were pressured and weren't ready for it. That, and it wasn't "meaningful"
Ultimately, it's up to you, only you can make this choice. Please do be careful (and safe about it) and make sure you don't do anything you will potentially regret. You only lose your virginity once afterall. Do it when it feels right to you regardless of what everyone else around you [appears!] to be doing.
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Don't feel left out. I know there is a lot of pressure from others to have sex. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and just don't jump right in to anything. Good for you!
I won't get to preachy because I know you will
do what you feel is right for you. I will give you a good site at the end loaded with useful information.
Read some of it if not all. If you do decide to become sexually active BE PREPARED. Don't jump right into it and then ask questions afterward, when it
may be to late.
Accidents happen. I know there are a lot of trustworthy fellows out there, but first and
foremost, no matter how much you like and trust
a guy, a girl needs to take care of herself.
Don't take anyones word that they will "pull
out in time", will "just put it in for a minute",
any of those lines. Not even one time! Thats all
it takes to alter your life forever. No condom,
No entry. :)
Oral sex and anal sex can also spread STDs.
Read up and know all about all this before
you take that step into having sex.
This site will tell you about your body,
his body, birth control methods,pregnancy, disease...all in a way you can understand it.
It is written for teens.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Feeling out is nothing compared to what can happen when you have sex. Sure, I first had sex when I was 16 and my bf was 15, but we had been together a while and neither of us had had sex before, so there was absolute certainty that neither of us had an std. But I did have a few times when my period was way late and I thought I might be pregnant. That would not have been good.
Anyway, you said you want to know the worst thing that can happen if you do decide to have sex right now. Here is the list:
Pregnancy
AIDS
Gonorrhea
Clamydia
other STDs
And if you use a condom, well, they are not guaranteed. Condoms can break. Guys have even been known to lie and say they are using them. In the heat of the moment, it may not be noticed. Or you could just forget. All it takes is one time. That is how I got my son (Ok, I was 20 and engaged, but still . . . one time without a condom and I got pregnant).
If you do decide you are ready for sex, it is not a bad thing. You just need to be sure you are ready and that you are with the right person. Make sure that person knows what you want (insist on protection!). If you want to wait, that is good too. Sure, you don't feel like part of the crowd, but are the risks really worth feeling in? Think of this: they are all having sex, possibly a lot. They are all at risk for the problems. If being in ends up meaning being in the hospital, is that where you really want to be? What is most important is what you are comfortable with, not what everyone else thinks you should be doing.
Anyway, you seem really uncertain. You even say you feel iffy about it. To me, that says you aren't quite ready yet. I think that is good. Stick to what you feel good about. If you give in to pressure, you may not feel so great about it. Your first time should be on your terms, not theirs.
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hello i am 15 too and yes i know exactly what you are going thourgh and to tell you if i were you if you do get a boyfriend dont wait 6 months in the relationship thinking your both madly inlove wait a year im telling you its the best time to wait. 15 is a border line ready not ready to young its confusing and if you just go ahead and have sex it can change your mind about things drastically not just little and if you do use a condom it doesnt mean your 100% safe from becoming pregnate. the purepressure thing sucks to the limit of all about being a teen and the only way to live above the purepressure is to do what you think is really rite and waiting 3 months into the relationship to have sex or give head in my oppinion is not ok. it would take me at least a year i would want to reallly know the guy it would be better if the guy was your friend for a year or two then you guys went out for like a year and had sex. emotionally you are not ready i can tell already and maybe not even physically. so waiting is a key thing to do and it doesnt matter if everyoen has a boyfriend you dont have to be like everyone and having a boyfriend or girlfriend is so hard you always have to talk to them theres the gifts worrying if they like somone else if they are cheating on you why are they acting differnt all of a sudden so really think about it if your going to have sex or do anything to do with sex. be safe get the rite guy or girl. but i really hope your going to take my advice and wait and dont think about it if somoenes telling you to just do it they are deffinalty not someone your going to want to hang out with or you know. follow your own path.!
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just because your friends are having sex doesnt mean you should. I had sex at a young age and regret it. The guy isnt with me now and i gave something valuable to him. I suggest you wait till you feel your ready not anyone else. I cant make choices for you but saving yourself for the right guy is what i think you should do. Dont just look for a guy you find attractive and have sex with him 3 months after make sure the relationship is commited and you feel like both of ya can grow from this. If a guy breaks up with you for you not wanting to have sex it only proves thats all he wanted. If you do end up having sex make sure its with a condom so you dont end up either pregnant or with any diseases. Everyones experience with sex is different but the worst that can happen is that you end up pregnant, since condoms arent always 100%.
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