Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30927
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So my best guy friend recently got a gf. Ill start from the begining. My bestfriend got us to like eachother....a lot. I soon fell for him, and I think he did for me too. We Did do things (I.e. make-out) and soon after we were telling eachother that we loved eachother. He was the first one to say I love you too me also. So lately I asked him out..he said "I would. Say yes, but i might be going to jail, and I don't want a gf if I go to jail" I said "ok" kissed him, and he walked me home. I knew he also liked another girl along with me. So I'm guessing that either he asked her out, or she asked him..he apparently said yes. He decided to tell me over facebook....here i the conversation. Him:hey, I hve some bad news, me:ok what??, him: I kinda sorta have a girlfriend, me: oh....., him:yea, me:so what now?, him:idk, me:oh wait..let me guess who it is..(the other girl he liked name). He didn't reply, and soon after..he blocked and deleted me from his friends list. I don't understand why though... I don't think i did anything wrong, did I?? Can someone please tell me what is going on?? (link)
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I'm kind of interested in the jail angle. Is the guy a ratbag or does he think you're young enough that he would face charges if he had sex with you?
Anyway, he probably blocked you because dealing with you while going out with another girl is just too awkward. It's not your fault. It simplifies things for him and is probably for the best. He may regret it later and come back to you and apologize.
Imho, it is possible to love multiple people very much and he may indeed have loved you or even could love you, now. I've been there in my relationships. So just look at it as a thing and keep an open mind because relationships at your age tend to be shortlived.
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Well I went over to my boyfriends house who is 2 years older than me. I am 13 and hen is 15. I went over there and we were up in his room we were just talking and then he told me he loved me of course I told him I love you to. Well then he said if you really love me then you will do something for. I asked him what. Then he said will you suck on my dick? I told him okay but I warn you I have never done it before. Well while I was doing it he started grabbing my boobs and fingering me well I went along with it because he has done this stuff before and well I hadn't. Well afterward we just kissed and stuff. but please tell me was this wrong? (link)
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Pretty normal behavior. He wanted to stimulate you, too, and make what was happening as less of a one way street, but also with the benefit that feeling your boobs and your wet pussy turned him on further.
At this point, though, what I would like you to do is put off vaginal intercourse until you are at least 16 because you will know your body a little more, your boyfriend will be a little older and mature and more likely to make your first time a pleasant one.
You will need to determine what you want sexually from here on in. If you don't feel you're ready for those decisions yet, then don't do that which you haven't decided on yet. It's your body, so you get to own it and tell people what they can't do with it when they try something. If the other party doesn't like your decisions then they know where the door is.
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This is by far the most weirdest dream I have ever had.
First it started out at a gas station; my boyfriend was with me and there was a woman with a german shepard; her daughter was up against the fence, and she had her hand on my boyfriends face. I saw him get closer and closer to her; and I told her "Dont you touch him!" and than I noticed my boyfriend getting mad, and I looked at her and said, "I'm kidding!" and she laughed.
Than I fell in a hole. There was a piece of wood that caught me inbewteen my legs and people started laughing. Than, somehow I ended up in the back of a car, and got out.
Than I ended up at my house, and saw my yorkie alot bigger; like normal size (right now she's two months) and my boyfriend and my dad were playing a video game, and my boyfriends penis was hanging out of a hole in his boxers and it was opening up like a Tulip. Than I noticed on my leg, I had a big bruise that covered up my entire calf. My dad smacked it and I started screaming; I couldn't breathe at all; and I began to cry.
I woke up screaming and crying. My boyfriend had to wake me up to get me to quit.
What does this mean? (link)
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It means you had a weird dream. I had a weird one the other night myself. Not nearly as emotionally wrenching as the one you had, but sometimes shit just happens when you sleep. Don't worry about it.
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General question...
We fought a lot, we werent even "together" but couldve... anyway, we were both mad at each other, now he doesnt e mail... he didnt reply..
i feel i missed who i thought he was...
do guys mean what they say when they say they dont care, do they really NOT care? or like girls, do they still think of what couldve happened, what is she thinking...
why do girls think a LOT about situations, and guys seem to dont care as much?
(link)
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Xenolan has it about right. If you want to really get down to brass tacks and know where he is, you're going to have to sit down and talk with him.
Just as a bonus on this question, though, let me say this: most guys, especially teenage boys, don't really know how to argue with women. Women are a lot more verbal because that is how they bond, through a lot of verbal disclosure to their girlfriends. Guys bond by doing stuff together and we don't talk about our feelings. So what that does is create an environment where men and women talk past each other when they argue, which increases the frustration both parties feel and it leads to a kind of vicious cycle.
And, in your case, both of you are rampantly immature and insecure, which further inhibits rational or satisfying discussion. So you will need to directly tell him what it is you want out of your relationship with him. Guys generally say what they mean (except when they are running for political office or are engaged in some kind of business transaction, then it is bullshit ho!). But when they feel cornered by the way women argue than you get kind of empty non-statements like, "whatever," or "I don't care" as a way to feel back in control since men are dominance oriented and don't want to be shown up by women.
Don 't try to read his mind because when women attempt to do that they tend to believe that guys think like girls do, which they don't.
So when you talk to him, don't corner him, don't emotionally blackmail him, don't call him names and accuse him of being a bad guy. Draw him out step by step, really listen to what he is saying, take it at face value and then speak in bullet points: "I am hoping for this out of a relationship with you, what do you think?" and that sort of thing.
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f,15
So for the people reading this you're in for a rollercoaster and if you would give advice I'd greatly appreciate it. Okay so here is my story… I’ve been going out with this guy for almost 7 months now and things have been great and all but these past few days it’s been, I don’t know just different or wrong. I know it’s me it has to because he really hasn’t done anything wrong. I guess if forgot to mention he’s my first boyfriend but I really don’t think that has anything to do with this. So in these past few days I’ve even had the thoughts of ending the relationship because I feel like I don’t want it anymore and I’m just going to hurt him more if I stay. My life isn’t the same anymore I don’t really have my friends anymore because we’ve been drifting apart and I don’t like it at all I feel like I’m alone and I have no one but him but I don’t want him anymore. I really feel like I have no space I want to have time to myself to talk to friends but he’s always there and I can’t do this anymore. I do love him and I know you probably think that “You’re 15 you don’t know what love is” but I do, you must not get it…..I love him but I’m not IN love with him. The only reason I have stood up and ended this already is because he’s in a hard stage. He says a lot of things saying that I’m his everything and stuff like that but I don’t feel right when he says it. If I ended things with him right now I’m scared of what he would do and how’d he react because I KNOW he wouldn’t take it well. He was in a really depressed state before we started dating and I feel like he can sense my feelings or something because he sounds like he’s been going back to it and just now when I was going to talk to him. I want to end it but I don’t…I don’t know what to do so if anyone actually read my story any advice? Please and Thank You (link)
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Your feelings are common. I can understand you have a certain amount of guilt going on because you are an empathetic human being.
But here is what is happening: the human brain keeps developing until around age 25. Consequently, your thoughts, feelings and sensibilities evolve with that and what was great at one juncture of your life is something you no longer want at a later point down the line.
Now when you graduate high school, you will find that everyone will just scatter and you probably will see few or none of your friends again and there will become a point at which you won't want them in your life anymore, period because you've just moved on. What you say to your boyfriend is, "sweety, I really enjoyed being with you and I'm glad we found each other, but I think I'm growing apart from you (which is the truth---telling the truth is always best because remembering lies is a bitch) and at this point it would be best if we break up."
Look, kiddo, it's your life and you have to do what is right for you. You aren't anyone else and therefore you cannot allow yourself to get ensnared in the needs of others when it impedes your progression as a human being. Life can be painful or awkward at times and having to pull the trigger on splitting your relationship will actually be a plus in fostering your individuality. Kinda funny how that works sometimes, huh? That's life.
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do girls get pregnant without losing virginity???
please tell. (link)
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It can happen, but it is super rare. Generally, it would involve something like you guys being naked below the waist and his cum or precum somehow getting close enough to the opening of the vagina that the millions of sperm in either his semen or precum latch on to the mucus lining the vagina and ride it into her fallopian tubes (I am really oversimplifying here) and one fertilizes the egg.
So my advice to you: dry humping should be done with the guy still wearing his pants, not just his underwear, if you are in your panties. If you are masturbating each other put him on his back so that he will shoot his seed on to himself and not on to you. Then wash your hands with anti-bacterial soap to kill whatever sperm might be on your fingers.
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My bf is 16 and im 13 every time we hang out he would ask me if i wanna have sex with him i would say no and he accepts that but what if he brakes up with me we love eachother so much .and sometimes he would kiss my kneck and try to take my shirt off . What should i do o; (link)
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Your boyfriend is preoccupied with one thing: putting points on the board so he will be praised by his male friends. Guys his age are not psychologically prepared to have sex in a way that girls will find satisfying. Moreover, the chances that your relationship with him lasting for any real length of time is between slim and none. So tell him that he will have to wait, minimum, three more years before you want to even contemplate having sex.
Yes, he may walk, but taking control of your own body and your life will make people respect you more and you will feel better about yourself in the long run. Remember, your life is about YOU, not what other people think you should do (for their benefit, btw) or be.
At 13, you don't really even know who you are or who you will become. So please, take the long view (I know this is tough for teenagers because I remember when I was one).
Just one more note: if you sleep with him now, it will be all over your school within 24 hours because he will brag to anyone who wants to listen about bedding you, with perhaps some play by play tossed in there, too. And since "she got fucked at 13," all the guys who know you from that point forward will figure that you're an easy mark for a lay. Shutting that shit down now will make you look more respectable and you will be taken more seriously. So again, take the long view in all this.
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i had this friend ever since freshman year. let's call her A. anyway. A and I are seniors but over the summer and this year our friendship has been fading into almost nothing. It was uncomfortable for me to be around her for some reason. She wanted me to go to Emporia with her so we could be roomates but i didn't really want to roomate with her. i told A I got into Emporia, but she hadn't heard anything from them yet (this is a good college for education, something we both wanted to do) and her reaction was exactly like this "WHAT! UGH!! WTF. i applied way before you did." I thought she'd be happy for me but I guess not. So recently I found out A had been talking to one of our mutual friends, emily, about me. She had told emily how i had gotten into Emporia before I did and how I had gotten into all these colleges and that I was indecisive about where I wanted to go and it made her mad about how indecisive i was. I had asked the Emily what she said and she confirmed that she talked about my indecisiveness about college, but then I came to find out A had told another Emily in our class the same thing. So that was at least two people she was complaining to me about. I'm a little offended that she talked about me behind my back. what should i do about A? (link)
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Dude, why are you even worrying about this? Once everybody graduates from high school, they scatter to the four winds. It is part of life and it is one thing that helps people keep moving forward as they have more varied life experiences. 'A" sounds like someone who is pretty narcissistic and it would be best of you just erased her from your life.
Don't worry about getting tied down at your age. Date around, explore life, live overseas after college for a while, and just keep progressing and growing. That is how you will ultimately find out what you want and how you should approach your life.
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I am 13 turning 14 next month and I have been thinking a lot about sex but when I'm ready how will i be able to get the protection i need without my parents finding out?
Also does it hurt for most girls when its there first time and what's the less painful position as in girl and guy sex (not talking about a blowjob!) (link)
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Sweety, I ain't no prude, but you shouldn't even begin thinking about having sexual intercourse until you're at least 16. So be patient. Guys your age are not psychologically capable of making sex with them satisfying for girls. They are immature and more focused on putting points on the board to prove something to their buddies and you are merely the vessel for that. So just relax and give yourself some time to grow up. The sex you eventually have will be a lot better for it.
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This is going to be a long story, and I can't believe how I got to this point, but I feel like I have a huge metal problem on my hands.
I started dating my boyfriend last year. He was my first for everything of course, i lost my virginity to him, I opened up to him, told him I loved him. We're still dating to this day;
I remember myself last year, I was happy, random, confident, funny, always making people smile, I was the one giving everyone advice, inspiring everyone. I'm sure he was attracted to my personality,because I felt comfortable with myself.
I'm looking at myself and am finding that I've become completely lost, and on this website asking for some kind of help.
When we first met, I thought he was so handsome, and he was very artistic. Though I've always been confident on the surface, I was paranoid to be myself because I've always been shy with guys i'm into, and hated having my guard down. I liked to keep things light and fun, but every odd and crazy thing I said he didn't really respond to. This only made me try harder, and he did say some things and over time I felt successful in having conversation with him.
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This is very important : He said I reminded him of his ex (who was one of my good friends) But they technically didn't date. they dated for about 2 weeks and she wasn't into him, probably for the same reason as I stated above (he wasn't very..random..interesting..or whatever) **
When we met, he had 2 months until he went off to college to go to art school across the states. In those 2 months we had sex and were very close. Then, we broke up when he moved away.
Throughout the whole time he was across the country, he'd call me every night and we'd continue talking, opening up to each other (so technically,we considered it still dating. more like,on and off) and just becoming really good friends. Of course I wasn't over him,and when he was away I was in a state of deep depression.
He came back winter break, and we were more-so "friends with benefits". This ruined me more, but I would've rather been that than nothing (and I was also friends with his friends- so being together was kind of natural)
Then this time, he left without saying goodbye. I was heartbroken,but I still stayed strong, because I know this wasn't part of my mentality to break down- especially in front of my friends, though I know they could tell I was very much upset.
I finally regained my dignity and cut ties (unanswered phone calls, if there were even any at all).. until he came back this summer and we just "naturally" again, connected.
I told him off the bat that I didn't want to do the whole "benefit" thing again, and he said he wanted to "get to know" me more before we got into a relationship. I agreed, but needless to say that next week we were official again (A lot of my friends didn't approve).
(I'm trying to cut this as short as I can, I really hope you can stick through this!)
Then..some wave came over me. Slowly, I lost contact with all my friends. I became paranoid that I wasn't as good as his ex (my friend-- mind you I hadn't talked to her in awhile). And then his other ex (who is very also friends with his ex. Basically, the two ex's were best friends. They both broke up with him for the same reason)
So what I did was..become friends with his ex's this whole summer. Because I thought- if I hung around them, I'd be like them,and thus he'd like me more. But also- we did become really, really good friends because we were so alike! The catch, is - my boyfriend didn't know I was hanging out with them (he hated one of the girls). He doesn't know I was ever friends with them this whole summer. We went on crazy adventures, had amazing times.
He told me he loved me in the midst of the summer, and I fell more deeply for him and said I loved him as well(of course). Then, I started getting those feelings of ill confidence again. I felt like the ex he compared me to would always be better than me, and that's where I am now. I beat myself up about it from time to time, and I feel like I'm lesser of a person. This is clearly a confidence issue, and I'm afraid he's going just get bored of me because I'm not good enough.
I wish I could give every detail, because I feel like I'm in such a hole of psychotic behavior that I can't get out. I realize what I've done hasn't been normal or right or moral in anyway, and yet- I don't know how fix the way I feel anymore. I feel disconnected with reality, and different from who I used to be. I want to be back to who I was, and I feel like I'm close but something's stifling me. I love my boyfriend very much,and he's never done anything like what I've done (from what I've known). And he lights me up in ways no one else can. He knows more about me now than anyone in my life. Which is valuable, but makes me feel vulnerable. We still get along, but I don't know how to conquer this feeling.
I've cut contact with those two friends, and am trying to get myself back. But I need another perspective, if you have any advice I'd really appreciate it. I hope this wasn't too much torture to read :o thank you! so much (link)
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I'm not being patronizing when I say this, so don't take it as that, but take a deep breath and relax.
First, you are obviously a good person. So you don't need to worry that you aren't. Unfortunately, because beauty is the main method for women to merchandise themselves to men they end up too often picking at themselves and accuse themselves of baseless things.
Yes, we all have self doubts. The curse of being smart is that we realize what the range of possibilities of behavior and knowledge out there is and we become in touch with how we may perceive ourselves as lacking in certain areas. You can't obsess on that. All you can do is be honest, ethical, reasonable and nice and then try to build on that throughout your life. You have totally overthought your perceived failings (and women very commonly do that) and that is why you are brooding on your self worth so much and running back to a guy with whom you had a relationship that was actually over years ago.
Moreover, one can only be oneself. Trying to be something we're not results in neurosis. So relax, learn to enjoy who you are, even with your perceived faults (we all have faults anyway; it's that damned imperfection of the human race thing) and determine what your agenda is for your life and pursue it. Don't let yourself be sabotaged by the agendas of others and be in control of your life. That is all you can do.
Finally, if that one guy liked you that much, there are at least ten others who would get in line to succeed him for a position by your side. That is just a fact. It isn't bullshit. Plus the better focus you have on who you are will make it easier for your mates to know who they are dealing with and so having a relationship with you will become much less difficult.
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I'm 15 and male, my partner is 15 and female. We are both virgins. Is it impossible for us to contract STD's? (link)
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It depends on how you define virginity. If it is, like for most people, I think, the absence of penetration, it is still theoretically possible for STDs to be contracted through oral sex, but far less so than with vaginal or anal intercourse. You guys can get tested to see if either of you has anything (and some people are carriers even if they had never had sex before). Make sure that your screening includes one for HPV, which is probably, other than herpes, the most frequently transmitted disease through oral. Once you come back clean, then lick and suck to your heart's content. It's fun.
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my step dad works for 4 days and then he comes home for 4 days. Every night that he's home him and my mom have sex, they're very loud about it too, that's how I know. How do they not get ever get sick of it? They never take a break. It's like a nightly routine for them. (link)
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Minding your own business is a good thing.
Look, I recognize that the thought of your parents being sexual people is gross. And one day, your kids are going to think the same of you and your partner. In addition, considering that your parents suffer long absences from each other, the frequent sex is understandable.
Look at this way: at least your stepdad isn't screwing around on your mom on the road because if he was you wouldn't be hearing him banging your mom every night. When they start getting it on, listen to your IPod or something.
So relax. Sex is a part of life. Stop being such a prude.
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is it wrong to be friends with my ex when i have a boyfriend right now? we only dated a few months and broke up BECAUSE we were better off as friends. im sure it makes my boyfriend slightly uncomfortable, but my ex is a pretty good friend. we dont hang out, mostly just text. not hiding anything. opinions? (link)
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Kiddo, let me clue you in about men:
generally speaking, guys will only stick around a girl when they have some kind of sexual interest in her. Men are TARGET ORIENTED. Once that disappears, so does the guy. So yes, you need to cut the cord with the ex so that he can learn how to move on and so that you won't promote insecurity in your current boyfriend.
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how to turn my 15 year old boyfriend on so he will kiss me (link)
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You have a boyfriend and he hasn't kissed you? How does THAT work? If he won't take the initiative then you have to. So lay one on him! Good luck!
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18/ female
I started a new type of pill called yasmin. Iv been told to take three packs together with out the 7 day break and have a 4 day break after the three packs. Its good cos I don't get a period! But I'm on my second pack with a week left and iv started getting cramp in my lower stomach,like period pains sort of, pains in my chest and feeling sick at night. I should mention that last week I missed two pills in a row and had sex anyway.
I'm not sure if I'm reacting badly to this new pill? (link)
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There have been reported problems with Yasmin.
http://www.resource4thepeople.com/defectivedrugs/yasmin.html
My advice: Get off of it and have your doctor prescribe you another birth control pill.
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how to stop masturbauting, i just fed up by trying many ways but i could'nt give me some tips to avoid this... (link)
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The urge to masturbate is completely natural. The inveighing against it by the usual coterie of religious cranks is completely unrealistic and counterproductive. So don't worry about it. Keep doing it and enjoy!
The only time it would be a problem is if it interferes in other areas of your life, but that would have to be some pretty extreme behavior. So don't worry about it.
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So today at school my guy friend walks by and goes into the bathroom and then I ask me friend who was sitting across from me if she has another sweatshirt cause i was cool and she said no and then he comes out of the bathroom and I asked him and he was like no and I asked if i could have the one he was wearing and he said no and i said please and he said y and i said cause im cold , please then he gave it to me ( he NEVER gives it to anyone!)then he just stood the and smiled and looked at each other then he went to class. Then later when he asked cor it back i went awww then he said i could have it again tomarrow and on the inside i was going YAY!!! And i was SO happy cause i have a crush on him but does he like me? Oh and by the way im a 13 year old girl and hes a 17 year old guy. (link)
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Dude is too old for you, kiddo. Give him his sweater back and get one of your own.
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Well I started talking to this guy and all of a suden he asked me out well when we first started dating he told me he wanted to make out with me it was literally 5 min after we started dating but then he just stopped talking to me and I dont know why do you have any advice (link)
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"Hey babe, want to make out?" "Now THERE is an opening line. Jesus, what is up with some people? I can't believe you didn't just laugh at that awkward attempt at seduction.
As for why he stopped talking to you, you don't say what you mean by that. For example, does he not take your phone calls? Does he ignore you? Or does he just clam up when he's with you? If you guys are teenagers, what I suspect is going on is that he has just never really learned what to say to women. Some guys have innate social skills, but others have to basically be taught. So you're going to have to sit down and tell him exactly what it is you want to know about him and that you want to be let into his life.
Remember that guys don't bond through the kind of elaborate self disclosure that girls do. We bond doing stuff together. We rarely talk about our feelings to one another except when it has to do with some expression of aggression (generally speaking). Consequently, trying to communicate with women can be extremely awkward and intimidating for some guys.
If he was pervert, as a couple of the other responses to your query insinuated, he would have kept pushing until he bedded you. But he stopped pressing you after merely some heated kissing or necking (apparently). So this could be a more complex dynamic than what you portray.
Either that or the guy has no content to offer. But you won't really know that until you really begin drawing him out.
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So there's this guy that is a good friend and we're really close. Some people have told me that the age difference wasn't good. We kinda had a thing going on for awhile. Just making out and touching kind of stuff. I'm not having sex. Anyways, I'm 17 and he's 19. In March he'll be 20. So it's like a 2 1/2 year difference. We're waiting till I'm out of high school to get more serious but I was wondering if the age difference is bad even if we're not having sex. (link)
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I see nothing wrong with that age disparity.
The thing that concerns me, though, is that I don't think people your age ought to be getting tied down. Date around, explore life and just give yourself time to grow up. If you don't have that exploratory phase you will always regret it. So keep an open mind.
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about two months agoo, i started talking to this guy we would txt 24/7. he would always txt me first like always! he would call me cute and beautiful and a bunch of cute things. i felt like he liked me cuz he would ask for kisses and stuff . at school he looked happy to see me and he always hugged me alot. but then i had a feeling that he was trying to flirt with someone else so i kind of lost interest in him so i won\'t get hurt yu know? & i couldnt do it so i txted him and he was txting weird he didnt put smileys or anything and it was just the awkward type of convos. i dont know why but that made me feel like he didnt want to talk to me. but then at school he still hugs me the same and everything and its been a amonth kinda that he hasnt txted me at all! but i dont wanna txt him cuz i dont wanna bug whyyy is it that he doesnt txt me anymore or he doesnt txt the same when i txt him? plezzz help! (link)
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He sensed that you were pulling back and so he was reluctant to keep sticking his neck out. Either that or he is just doing the minimum to maintain a relationship with you so that he can make you the relief pitcher should the other girls he is going after not respond to him the way he wants.
Listen, if you're gut tells you something is wrong it is indeed wrong. Always listen to your gut. You did well to do so here.
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