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he doesn't care...?
General question...
We fought a lot, we werent even "together" but couldve... anyway, we were both mad at each other, now he doesnt e mail... he didnt reply..
i feel i missed who i thought he was...
do guys mean what they say when they say they dont care, do they really NOT care? or like girls, do they still think of what couldve happened, what is she thinking...
why do girls think a LOT about situations, and guys seem to dont care as much?
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Ohhh been there...actually I am still there and I hate to be the person to say it to you but as a good friend(and stranger ironically enough) I have to say break this to you-- you're just not the one. At some point he probably did care but he isn't mature enough to go forward with anything. I read this online magazine called WhatMyManDid.com and I swear it is the only thing that helped me laugh this stupid situation off. I've come to grips with the fact that we really never were...give him 6months he'll come running back and you would've moved on...it will feel so good.
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cause guys just dont want drama and when they feel like there is drama they ignore it
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Xenolan has it about right. If you want to really get down to brass tacks and know where he is, you're going to have to sit down and talk with him.
Just as a bonus on this question, though, let me say this: most guys, especially teenage boys, don't really know how to argue with women. Women are a lot more verbal because that is how they bond, through a lot of verbal disclosure to their girlfriends. Guys bond by doing stuff together and we don't talk about our feelings. So what that does is create an environment where men and women talk past each other when they argue, which increases the frustration both parties feel and it leads to a kind of vicious cycle.
And, in your case, both of you are rampantly immature and insecure, which further inhibits rational or satisfying discussion. So you will need to directly tell him what it is you want out of your relationship with him. Guys generally say what they mean (except when they are running for political office or are engaged in some kind of business transaction, then it is bullshit ho!). But when they feel cornered by the way women argue than you get kind of empty non-statements like, "whatever," or "I don't care" as a way to feel back in control since men are dominance oriented and don't want to be shown up by women.
Don 't try to read his mind because when women attempt to do that they tend to believe that guys think like girls do, which they don't.
So when you talk to him, don't corner him, don't emotionally blackmail him, don't call him names and accuse him of being a bad guy. Draw him out step by step, really listen to what he is saying, take it at face value and then speak in bullet points: "I am hoping for this out of a relationship with you, what do you think?" and that sort of thing.
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It all depends on the situation and who the guy is and how they deal with things. Everyone copes differently and everyone deals with things differently. A guy is least likely to show any kind of emotion where as a girl is more likely to get really emotional. There was a time where I've fought with a guy and he said he didn't care I wouldn't hear from him for months or even years and randomly they would either show up or call or text me randomly out of nowhere. And sometimes the guy would never contact me again. You have to understand whatever is going on now isn't important. If someone wants to be in your life they will be in your life. ANd if someone wants to walk away from you let them walk. Some people are meant to be with us in our future and others aren't and thats just the way it is.
It's hard to let someone go trust me I've been there but if they care about you and they truly love you they will come back. SOmetimes they come back at the right time and sometimes they don't come back at the right time.
like girls, do they still think of what couldve happened, what is she thinking...
why do girls think a LOT about situations, and guys seem to dont care as much?
I'm sure guys think of the "shoulda", "coulda", and "woulda" but in the end how does that help? Don't live in the past, as hard as that may seem it's not going to help you any. I know you are trying to find the answers and surfing on the web to see if you cna get some closure. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself and make yourself happy right now. Guys come and go, and I'm sure there will be another guy in your future and you'll forget what this one's last name was. As girls, we follow our emotions, sometimes its okay to and other times not so much. It's sometimes makes us look illogical because we don't think of the outcome or what could happen we just think how we are feeling in that moment. That one moment though can somehow affect much more. The myth I don't believe is that guys don't care, they care its just they don't show it as much as we women do. That's just how it is. Hang in there and try not to worry about it too much!
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There are two possibilities; either he is pretending not to care because he doesn't want to reveal his true emotions about the matter, or he really doesn't care. But either way, the result is essentially the same.
It's not that guys don't think as much about "situations" (and I can only assume that I know what you mean by that!). It's just that they don't talk about it as much, and certainly not with someone who they're mad at.
Whatever it is, he won't talk with you about it until he's ready. If he genuinely doesn't care, that will be never. Either way, it's best for you to let it go.
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