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I Just Don't Know Anymore... I’m just going to hurt him more if I stay.
f,15
So for the people reading this you're in for a rollercoaster and if you would give advice I'd greatly appreciate it. Okay so here is my story… I’ve been going out with this guy for almost 7 months now and things have been great and all but these past few days it’s been, I don’t know just different or wrong. I know it’s me it has to because he really hasn’t done anything wrong. I guess if forgot to mention he’s my first boyfriend but I really don’t think that has anything to do with this. So in these past few days I’ve even had the thoughts of ending the relationship because I feel like I don’t want it anymore and I’m just going to hurt him more if I stay. My life isn’t the same anymore I don’t really have my friends anymore because we’ve been drifting apart and I don’t like it at all I feel like I’m alone and I have no one but him but I don’t want him anymore. I really feel like I have no space I want to have time to myself to talk to friends but he’s always there and I can’t do this anymore. I do love him and I know you probably think that “You’re 15 you don’t know what love is” but I do, you must not get it…..I love him but I’m not IN love with him. The only reason I have stood up and ended this already is because he’s in a hard stage. He says a lot of things saying that I’m his everything and stuff like that but I don’t feel right when he says it. If I ended things with him right now I’m scared of what he would do and how’d he react because I KNOW he wouldn’t take it well. He was in a really depressed state before we started dating and I feel like he can sense my feelings or something because he sounds like he’s been going back to it and just now when I was going to talk to him. I want to end it but I don’t…I don’t know what to do so if anyone actually read my story any advice? Please and Thank You
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I've seen a lot of questions like this and the solution is simple: BE HONEST! Tell him that you care about him but this jsut isn't working out for you. There is no way that you're not going to hurt him. I would be lying if I told you there was a way you couldn't hurt him. He might be might or upset with you. Give him time and sapce and let him think about things and I'm sure he'll be okay eventually. Love is hard, but it's better that you know he's not the right one for you. Now you have to do him a favor and do yourself a favor and tell him. Good luck!
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Your feelings are common. I can understand you have a certain amount of guilt going on because you are an empathetic human being.
But here is what is happening: the human brain keeps developing until around age 25. Consequently, your thoughts, feelings and sensibilities evolve with that and what was great at one juncture of your life is something you no longer want at a later point down the line.
Now when you graduate high school, you will find that everyone will just scatter and you probably will see few or none of your friends again and there will become a point at which you won't want them in your life anymore, period because you've just moved on. What you say to your boyfriend is, "sweety, I really enjoyed being with you and I'm glad we found each other, but I think I'm growing apart from you (which is the truth---telling the truth is always best because remembering lies is a bitch) and at this point it would be best if we break up."
Look, kiddo, it's your life and you have to do what is right for you. You aren't anyone else and therefore you cannot allow yourself to get ensnared in the needs of others when it impedes your progression as a human being. Life can be painful or awkward at times and having to pull the trigger on splitting your relationship will actually be a plus in fostering your individuality. Kinda funny how that works sometimes, huh? That's life.
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Ok, well your happiness is the number one factor here. Its your life. You can't waste your teenage years and be miserable just for the sake of someone else's happiness. Its very sincere of you, but you deserve happiness. These next few years are going to be the best years of your life. These next few years are going to show you, WHO you really are as a person. You shouldn't be tied down to a boy; you should be out with your friends, partying, going to the movies, and most importantly doing things you like to do!
It's normal to feel this way. I know you love him, because if you didn't you wouldn't be fighting with yourself over what you need to do.
Your boyfriends depression isn't your problem. I know your going to feel like its your fault, but if your feeling the way your feeling than its better to end it now. The more you stay with him and feel this way, the more he will become attached to you, and the more it'll hurt him.
You have to let him know that you love him as a person, but not the way that he loves you. Let him know that you need to figure out who you are as a person, and you just feel like you can't do that with him hoovering over you. Tell him you need space and time. Let him know that you think he's a great guy, and you don't want any negative feelings between you too. YOu just have to do what makes you happy, and if he really loved you, he'd be happy that your following your heart instead of leading him on.
Keep your head up, I'm here for you, and I'll help you get through this one step at a time!
Good luck to you<3
If you need anything else, please do not heistate to inbox me!
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