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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
m a virgin and its like im supposed to lose my virginity to my boyfriend back home... everything is so perfect and we haved talked about it having sex. before i left for vacations we talked about it and agreed that if it would happen, it had to be after i went back home ... i couldnt be happier with him but now ive been gone a month and i have been dating a guy here.. im with my friends and he even came to have diner with my parents. i already met his and his friends; everyone is so happy that we are together and we see each other everyday. his friends tell me and my friends that they havent seen his so happy with anyone and the truth is that im happy with him. here is the dilema, do i sleep with him or not? i want to but i have a bf back home and if i dont tell him that im not a virgin, can he find out physically? like what other ways can i break my hymen? advise plis ..
I think that considering the fact of you losing your virginity shouldn't be about the guy: it should be all about you. It's who you're comfortable around and it's who you feel more compatible with to give up something so precious and valuable to him. It has nothing at all to do with who you have waiting for you at home. If you feel more compatible with the dude you are with more than the boyfriend at home, then you can tell the boyfriend at home that this isn't working and that you truly do need your space . Or that this relationship isn't taking the right course. You wouldn't be the first b/c other teens do the same thing. You're not married and there's no serious committment. HE won't find out that you're a virgin unless you tell him.
My friend was forced to take a drug test by his mom and it he failed now shes callin his friends and tellin their parents to drug test their kids shes gonna call my dad soon and have my dad test me i want to know if its true that if you dont do marijuana often that it will clear out of your system faster than if you do it constantly?
No. It doesn't matter how often you do it. If you do marijuana regardless of the hours or how many times you do it(costantly or not) if you do it they'll detect it. So if you don't do it, then you have nothing to worry about. If you do, I'd start drinking things to flush it out of your body.
my problem is my friend who is girl, we both work in a same office and recently only(about 3& 4 month) we had become close friends (well i was atleast) in this three month we used to talk about everything, eat together with our group
but recently because of my nature i started carrying for to much or more u can say carrying like sister(my age is 22 and she is 30 un married)
but insead of what i feel about her she has taken the wrong impression of what i feel for her
i had a meeting with her told her told her my feeling
but she said she is feeling Uncomfortable with our Relationships and told me not to call her
and for work related mail her
i know y is she felling that way because of me as i said before i starded to care for her interfere with her life i even told her to give me a miss call on my cell when she reaches home
and once we had gone for a movie on friendship day
and when she did not sit next to me i made a huge promblen between the movie i was on my cell messaging any things to my friends and when she asked me i told her u were not sitting next to me thats y
so please help me i dont love her
i really like her has a sister and a friend
And will always do
I think that you need to respect the space that she needs. She really needs time to figure out her feelings towards you and she needs to do this alone and this requires some time. You need to respect her space and you need to let her grow. She has a right and she really deserves it. Just tell her that she really is just a good friend, like a sister, and that you'll respect her space. I know that it will be difficult since she is such a good friend and all but she needs to know that you'll respect her wishes and give her the distance she needs. And if she doesn't want to talk with you anymore , respect it and move on. That is just the way people deal with things. Especially women. Move on and don't let her get to you. Just try to be understanding and you know just be real with her. If she's too immature not to address this directly, then trust me, you could do a lot better .
hes moving tomrw to nebraska and i live in new york. i dont know what to do because were not technically together we just hooked up a lot but never dated since he was moving. i cant stop crying and i dont want him to leave. he told me he wasnt gunna get a girlfriend cuz theres nobody hed rather be with then me. and this makes me feel horrible because im pretty and i could get a boyfriend easily and dont like being alone. What should i do? i cant just forget him because hes coming back for breaks and is gunna call me a whole lot. but i love this guy.
You can't put your life on hold for him. If you two can keep the long distance relationship by using the computer/ and or phone, then by all means, do it. But don't put your life on hold for him. It's long distance and you don't know what he's doing. Technically all you know about what he's doing is what he tells you. So you should not reject the opportunities that may come available. You two are not married and you two are young. Don't worry. If you don't like to be alone, then explain your situation to him. I know that you may love this guy, but like I said, if you love him then this long term relationship will work . There shouldn't be too much to worry about. But remember what I said if an opportunity comes knocking. Technically, you only know what he wants you to know. If you feel a rift, then you have to decide what to do. We, advice columnists, can't tell you what to do. We only can lead you to your heart. So, question is where is your heart. And what do you think?
;; i REALLY need your help ;;
my sister hates me i think.....
;; whenever i ask her to take me somewhere (she drives) shes like "no"
;; i ask her to cook me somthing (because last time i almost burnt the house down) she says no and i have to wait till about 1 im the morning for food
;; she treats me like crap
;; she always askes "do i look pretty????"
;; she slaps me
;; she called me a whore because i didnt feel well and she didnt also
;; ill get her a soda, the vacume, TRY to cook something, give her money, talk to her, get her something she needs to clean. walk the dog, feed the cat && dog && birds.. im practally the maid for when shes home.
;; she makes me clean the hallway (because i threw my books outta my room).... also HER bathroom and i have to clean her garbage she leavs at my comptuer.
;; i ask her for a simple thing "can you drive me 1 mile away from home so i can get something to eat" she automatically says NO
;; she calls me.. a bitch.. a slut.. a whore.. a faggot.. brat.. spoiled.. discusting.. etc.
;; i wanna be her friend, but i cant ever talk to her barely.
;; i always give her MY money, the money my grandma gave me for my birthday (it was a thousand dollars) she said she would pay back... now i only have about 100 left. she took 900 bucks from me, and i was saving up for a shopping spree.
;; she steals my money also.. she has a credit card, gas card, etc. but she wont use them!
please help me... i htink she hates me, is that a sign of hate? and sorry if this was too long for you
You have to understand that this is the way of older sisters and , just naturally, sisters. It's natural for them to argue, fight, and steal from each other. But she shouldn't steal that much money with a great amount like that. I could see 20 maybe 50 but 900 dollars is unthought of. You need to tell your parents(or someone like an aunt, uncle) what she's doing b/c it's just plain worng and abusive and stop trying to talk to her. Let her come to you and show her that you do have a life.
my daughter(19) has a abusive boyfriend (16).
He is at this point only verbally abusive, but i fear it could turn physical . Tonight they went out with her brother (who is twice the boyfriends size) and her cousin and friends. My son came home very angry telling me how this boy was rude, mean , and hateful to his sister. My daughter begged her brother not to say or do anything. His comment(my sons) to me and my husband was "If the boy behaved this way in front or her 6' 5" 230 lb brother, how did he treat her when they were alone? " This is a great point and scarey thought. My husband is ready to step in . What should we do? I discussed this with her and she admitted he is verbally abusive. I am afraid it will turn into physical abuse. Remember she is 19. She is of age to do what she wants, but has never exercised (or even spoke) of that right. She has always been a good easy child. How can we get her away from this boy? Should we demand she not see him. I have a parental gut feeling he could hurt her. We are also friends of his parents . They are very nice people who would never think their son did any wrong.
My husband wants to talk to them and
end it. What should we do? HELP!!!!!
the relationship is 9 months old and I am positive they are not sexually active. If it turns into a sexual relationship, it could REALLY get bad, and since they are both virgins he will never want to let her go. We Must Act Now!
I advise that you talk to your daughter about this and her worth. That she is worth a lot more than what this guy is giving her and that his view of her worth will not change. Some dogs you know just don't change their spots. She probably feels that he's the best she can do but tell her she can do a lot better and she can do a lot worse than him. It's all about life experiences, and there are plenty of relationship involved in life situations for her to experience. Plenty , especially now that she is of age. Tell her, perhaps suggest, to slow it down a bit. That her worth and what she deserves is far greater than his. He lacks respect for her which means to a degree that he lacks respect for himself and that is possibly dangerous for herself and him as well.
so yesterday i put my contacts and and took them out w/o a problem but now today my right eye is making weird noices. is there something wrong with it? cuz i start high school in 3 hours and i need to put my contacts in. k thanks.
Maybe you need to rinse your eyes thoroughly with water for 5 to ten minutes and perhaps that'll help cleanse it . So, try that and you should be fine. Or maybe you should go to the doctor. Three hours doesn't give you a lot of time so I advice that you cleanse them and keep your hands away from them.
Okay, this is gonna be long..but- 2 years ago a met this guy and we became friends turns out..he's MADLY inlove with me! That's all fine and dandy, I don't mind reject people I don't like, but it also turns out this guy is suicidle! Now, please don't say get him help! He's gotta better about cutting himself, and he sees a therapist. But every time a guy asks me out, even the ones I like, I make up a stupid excuse and walk away for fear the 'suicidle guy' will kill himself! He's told me before I'm his reason for living! What do I do? I rate high!
Maybe you need to talk to this guy and tell him that some people are meant to be together and that you too just aren't those people. So you need to explain a lot of things to him. And sometimes, maybe you need to tell an adult what is going on / and or what he is saying. I know you think, what use is it. But telling an adult what he says may cause and save a lot of damage for happening. Explaun it to him because it's not fair for him but it's also not fair to you,
I know this sounds like a wussy story, but for the life of me I do not know why I feel this way....
I have this female friend whom I have been good friends with for many many years, We almost went further than friendship, but I declined cause I felt I would lose such a good friend.
Over the years we have always been friends, and I know now that she is the one for me, but how do I tell her?
she has been married and divorced, moved to another country with her boyfriend where he dumped her.
I moved to another country for career reasons, she has asked if she can come and stay with me for a few months, I am really exicted about her coming, but deep down I am full of fear because of the way I feel!
If I tell her, I may lose her or it could be I am gutless in the face of the one I truely love!
Any ideas people?
Don't let your fear overule you and do what you need to do since she is a need/ neccessity for you. It's alright to have fear because fear is understandable. You also need to learn how to control your fear. As long as you are understanding and communicating and give / and or be willing to give time, then somethings(the basic issues) might as well be covered. Just give her time and don't force it but be gentle enough that she knows that you are always there for her when you need her. So i hope I was some help and have a nice day. You really do need to tell her and let her know that you're not rushing her into anything that she may not want to do,
well i recently met this guy at a party this summer and weve became really close but the thing is hes 19 and im 14...but i really like him and hes going off to college this fall and im scared that i wont see him that much and eventualy we are going to drift apart? and i havent really told him how i feel...should I??
Yes, I think you should tell him how you feel so you know what kind of relationship this is for sure. So you will know exactly where you stand and how you 2 stand together. Maybe he thinks one way and you think the other way. Right now is an excellent opportunity to talk about issues or concerns that need to be talked about . So go and talk to hum. Get things straight and find out answers to all of your questions.
this year I want to dress more preppy. What are some styles that look preppy? I rate very high!
Wear pink a lot. Makeup. The indian/bohemian skirts whick I hate to admit that I love. Just be an air head. It is more about the way you act and the way you wear the clothes than what you actually have on.
hey
basically i have till september to loose about a stone. (12 lbs) i dont have much money to join a gym, ive been eating healthy stuff everyday like salad, pasta, fruit i drink mostly water for like 2 years and i have barely lost anything.
i really want to do this as im starting college soon and i want to make a new start. i walk everday for about 1/2 hour i walk my dog regulalry and where i work has loads of steps and i climb them at least 10 times a day. and nothing seem to shift the pounds. i am really determined to do this as i am only 5 foot 3 and i weigh roughly 12stone so i am not exactley slim. any one with any good advice on how to loose pounds quickly and fairly cheaply will get rated 5's lol.
please help me
emma* xoxox
Crunches, situps, pushups, or known yoga steps to you all at home for free. Continue the step thing too. Oh AND you're going to have to work more than 1/2 an hour. I'd say at least 40-45 minutes you know. You're going to have to run too. No starch foods, including pasta or a lot of bread. And you're really going to need to drink a lot of water, juices . Just lay off bread and work, work, and work. Stay moving and get that heart rate up.
Me and my bf have been dating for 6 years and everytime he takes me out to a romanctic place and we come back home he always tries to have sex with me. I tell him sometimes I want to wait til im married. He says he understands and all but then he tries it again in a week. I mean I don't blame him for being horny but I gave him a handjob once but it was like a couple months ago. Now for some reason everytime I see him this month he seems to get depressed everytime. I ask him whats wrong and he says nothing. We still kiss and stuff but I feel like Im doing something wrong. So I gave him another handjob and have been but he still seems depressed.
Is there anything I can do to get him alittle more happier?
and don't think about saying hes gay or something
It might be a family problem. No matter but if it is, be there for him. Talk to him if it is a matter of family problems. If this guy wants you to jump in the sack wiht him, tell him to forget about it. You 2 really need to talk about sex then. Officially. IF he doesn't respect your views on the matter, then he doesn't respect you or your wishes . So he's not worth it. It may be family too. But you may just need to have the BIG AND OFFICIAL talk about sex.
hey...
..There's this guy I really like. I'm 14 years old and he's 17. We used to just be " buddies " and he used to talk to me about the girls that he liked but I knew that he would never in a million years talk about me that way. Boy, was I wrong.
..I've liked him for about two years now, and he's finally noticed me now since I " grew up " if you know what I mean. We've been talking about hooking up for a while now, but the problem is is that he's my brother's friend and if my brother found out that I was hooking up with his friend he would kill me and his friend. So... we really don't know what to do. At first we decided to just be friends with benefits lol :) but that didn't work...We just keep on talking about how it would be soooooo great if we were actually bf and gf. I really don't know what to do about this because I don't want to mess up my brother's friendship with the guy and I don't want to lose someone that I like very much. Please help in any way that ya'll can. Thanks.
- Melisa
Tell your brother that you are growing up and that he's going to have to accept the fact that he can't beat every guy away with a stick...maybe a fist... that walks by you one day and says, gosh that girl is hot I want to get with her. If need be, tell him to get a life and that to get used to it. You deserve to be with this guy now that you've waited that long and now he wants you. You deserve to have him and tell your brother this. This is your life not his. Are you really...really...going to let your brother dictate to you when it comes to who you go out with or who you won't go out with. Come on . Get real and tell him to get real too.
Is magic real? Can you really hypnotize people? I saw this thing on tv where this guy made this girl float..sounds totally not real but if you saw it you would probably believe it. But anyways, is it actually real?
No magic not real. Hynotize not real. Why? The brain isn't something that can just be opened like the pages of a book. If it were so, then everyone could get a silky dreamy voice and talk to you and you'd be spilling out your most valuable secrets. The brain is the most complex, most structured part of any human body. It can not be easily opened. TV is fake . That is fake.
i broke up wit my exgirl a couple months ago but i cant stand bein away from her i want her back i feel like i cant live wit out her wut should i do?
Tell her what you told us, and more. Tell her that you were an idiot and that you were WRONG. Girls love to hear this stuff and they really do. But don't act like you're trying too hard and look her directly in the eye. And don't tell her that you'll change your old ways . Let her mention it first and when she does don't deny or defend them . Never do that. Just acknowledge that you're messed up and that you'll do your best to try and change. Say this only twice. Unless she stresses it more and when the time is right you'll know. No stuttering and not a lot of ums and ahs. Be real . Be you and don't lie. We're very good when you guys are lying.
OK my ex boyfriend calls me everyday to talk about his day. He slips in a sentence about me and him then he talks about his girlfriends. Yes that is plural. He has more than 1. He asks me to rate him on how hot he is on a scale from 1-10. I rate him a 7 and a half. He has a nice body but he's not niice to me when we date. This guy, does he still like me or not? I rate! Sorry so long. We had a relationship for 2 months before I found out he cheated on me.
If he's cheating on you with other girlfriends, and that is plural, then he doesn't like or love you. The fact that he asks you how he looks really shows his arrogance and the fact that he does have others show that he doesn't feel that you're worthy. So get over him. You could do a lot better and worse than him. It's just all about your choices. And when you think about it, it's sort of comforting. Unless you're hazardous to yourself then not so much. Oh and the time that you two were together doesn't matter b/c he has "others" and you deserve a lot better than that. It's not about the time but it's about if he's treating you right. Oh and break up with him first before he does it to you. Maybe that will die down some of the arrogance.
my boyfriend was fingering me the other day and like all of a sudden i felt like alot of watery stuff..and i blamed it on him and was like u CUMMED on me..and he was like i didn't i didn't even feel anything..and so he takes the blame and says sorry..but still promises he didn't feel a thing and so i get up and notice the sheets are really wet only to find blood all over them..meaning that wet stuff was ME bleeding..is it possible to bleed THAT much? i mean it was everywhere
Fingering ...ew. Second of all, are you sure that it wasn't what your... period. Maybe he did something to damage ...something...but it could've possibly neem the beginning of your period. Of course if it stopped and it might...MIGHT...have been your period, then something is terribly wromg. But if your nasty guy screwed up, then I suggest you not let anyone do that to you again. I know that I wouldn't at all.
what is the difference between giving heads and s blow job! i kinda know what they are but then someone used it in a weird way and i just want to make sure i have them straight! thanks a bunch!
love ya!
It's the same disgusting thing so don't let them try and confuse you. It's the same thing.
A couple of weeks ago I was invited to go to the NJ shore with one of my best friends, Sam. I was very excited...each of her siblings is bringing a friend, and she chose me to go for the week with her & her family! The date is August 13th-20th. Just today, however, she called me and was like "I just found out Catherine is coming too, is that all right?" Obviously I said yes...I wasn't going to be rude & tell her no. However Catherine is Sam's friend (their families are good friends too) and she does not go to my school. I have met her before, & she is very nice, but I really don't know her well. To be honest, I am not sure that I am so psyched to go anymore, because she is going to have Catherine there too. I know it sounds mean, & I have nothing against Catherine, but it just seemed rude that Sam never mentioned she would be there before. I am not sure if it is just her, or her entire family comeing (it is a very big house) so I don't know if it was like her mom who invited her or what. I honestly don't know if I want to go for a whole week anymore...I mean I am sure it would still be fun but it is just not the same. Do you think it is silly for me to be upset? Should I just go, or should I decline? I mean I still want to see the NJ shore & go to the beach & be with my friend, but it is just confusing now. Should I talk to her? If so what exactlu do I say? Sorry this is so long!
Get real. You said you don't even know this girl. To spend a week with this girl would obviously provide the opportunity to get to know her. So what you really need to find out is why you REALLY don't like this girl. Don't lie to yourself. Is it b/c of Sam. If so , don't hate on her. If it's not Sam, then you really should go. Besides the fact that Catherine will be there, you have a week at the beach. GO. There are NEW PEOPLE that you meet at the beach. GUYS YOU KNOW. So go. Get to know her or just forget her and have fun. But I really don't think that you're being fair. To Catherine. I think that you don't need to judge her , or dislike her, when you haven't taken the time of day to get to know her. I know you met her once may 2,3 times, but it's not the same. If you're going to pass judgement on somebody, know who they really are and that takes time. Lying to yourself about that person won't help you gain knowledge about who that person is. I think that others would give you the same courtesy as well. You know what I think so have a nice trip. That is if you go.