Gender: Female
Location: UK
Occupation: Temp
Age: 26
Member Since: September 3, 2005
Answers: 222
Last Update: March 4, 2008
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my friend's 90 year old man who needs to put on weight for health reasons. he eats 3 solid meals and snack in between but does not seem to put on. if his weight drops, it will eat away the muscle. appreciate some answer how can he gain weight. (link)
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Hi
If your friend's man wants to put on weight then a dietician can help you plan your food to ensure you get enough nutrients to stay healthy. If you try to put on significant amounts of weight without one, it is likely that it will pile back on afterwards. A dietician can help to find the perfect plan for you, and also prevent you losing too much weight, and yes there is such a thing.
They will ask lots of questions about what you like to eat, what is your daily schedule, and from there set out with a plan that would work. They will cater specifically to you, the individual.
If you get a referral from your Doctor, the dietician they send you to will be state registered, and thus suitably trained. However if you clash with the first person they send you to, and feel they don't relate to your way of life or your specialist diet you may want to look for another. Your Doctor may be able to help with this, or you can search for one yourself.
Something your dietician will often ask you to do is to keep a log of your food intake for a week, with estimated portion sizes. In behaviour modification programs, you would also be expected to note the time that you ate, the activity you were engaged in, whom you were with, and how you were feeling. Though most dieticians don't insist on that, there is some real benefit in noting this information. Many people who see dieticians need more than information about what is wrong with their diet. They often need to solve problems in eating behaviour. Getting all the facts down about that behaviour can really help to identify problems.
The goals of a first session should be for the dietician to gain a clear understanding of why you are there and to get a good picture of your eating habits, to help you to identify areas of strength in your current eating pattern and areas for improvement, and then set up a specific plan for making necessary changes.
Once you've identified problems and solutions, your dietician can help you to put the information together in a couple of different ways. S/he might work with you to put it all together in a structured menu plan, but if you have lots of changes to make and are not in immediate danger of health complications, the dietician may prefer to prioritise changes, beginning with the easiest, giving you just one or two at a time.
Goodluck
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14/f.
Whenever my boyfriend comes over, we usually aren't allowed in the house (my parents are strict), and we usually end up hanging out at the park, but there's not much to do.. we can't drive anywhere yet, and my parents don't trust us with much.. It usually gets boring. What can I do to liven things up and make things less boring? (link)
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Hi there,
Problems with parents can be difficult to resolve, and right now your parents' attitude seems unreasonable to you. To get a better understanding of how to improve things it might be best to try seeing things from their point of view, no matter how much you disagree. You might want to consider how to prove to them you're an adult who is able to take responsibility for her life, including the company you keep.
Just telling them this might not work. In every sense you need to show you've matured into an individual they can trust to live her own life. If you try listening to things from their point of view then they in return might give you a chance to discuss the issues both calmly and sensibly.
Hopefully, the more you involve them in your life the easier you'll find it to gain the trust, and the space, that you deserve.
Goodluck
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I chemically straighten my hair, Its okay, I want to get a better side part though, is there anyway I can do that? Is there any websites to help me on that?? (link)
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Hi There,
Most people like to play safe with their hair, so it's a good idea to have some idea of you want, or at least what you like before you go. Look through magazines and cut out photos of styles you'd like. Think about how much you are prepared to have cut off and whether you want a classic neat cut (bob, crop, long and layered etc) or a modern, choppy cut. Take the pictures to the salon with you. If you want a 'celebrity hairstyle' find a recent picture of them, otherwise you may end up with a Beckham Mohican rather than a Beckham crop, or they may not know who you are talking about.
There is no point getting a high maintenance cut if you hate spending hours on your hair each morning, instead go for a versatile look that can be styled into a fantastic look, but which won't look too bad unkempt on those overslept Monday mornings.
Try to go somewhere that has been recommended by a friend, but only if you like their hair! You could also try asking people with haircuts you like where they got it done. Go along and have a consultation, and if you don't like what they say, don't get it done there.
Even if you're going to that fiver-a-cut place, always sit and talk to the stylist before you have your haircut. Any good hairdresser will take the time to discuss your look with you, saying when they don't think a look will suit you, and suggesting alternatives or new innovations you may wish to try. Show them those style pics and flick through their style directories. Ask them to point out pictures of what they are thinking of doing. Say what you hate about your hair and previous haircuts, and if it is a new stylist say if your hair is naturally wavy/ kinky, so that they can allow for this when they cut.
If your stylist suggests something you do not want then say so. If you allow yourself to get talked into something you really don't want you won't be happy with the end result, even if it looks stunning to others. Having said this, when you have found a hairdresser you trust, allow yourself to take a few risks with your hair, they may give you a style you'd never have dreamed of trying that suits you perfectly.
Want to keep that salon look? Then ask what products they used on your hair, and what they would recommend you use yourself. If you can't afford their products ask what to look for in a cheaper product. Also ask for tips on recreating the look by yourself.
Brave and/ or poor people should give model cuts real consideration. They are free, and overseen by a senior stylist to prevent it all going horribly wrong. If you don't have five hours to spare go to an advance academy who'll take half the time and have a much wider range of cuts they can do. Beginner's classes will tend to do the cut they've learnt that week and if you don't want to look like everyone else avoid them. Look for adverts in papers, magazines and salon windows.
If you still get a bad haircut (were you reading this properly?) wear a hat/ wig and rest easy in the knowledge that it will grow back, eventually.
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my best friend hates me!! we were best friends and now she always has plans when i ask if she wants to do something and she flips out over everything that she doesnt like. i asked her if she was mad at me and she totally flipped out! i really cant live without her and its only been a day. please help. what can i do to make her love me again? (link)
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Hi There,
Sometimes it's easier to seethe in silence when someone does something to wind you up, but that doesn't make the issue go away. If anything, bottling up your feelings like this just makes the problem seem worse. It means you risk a situation where your mate steps just slightly out of line and you explode right in front of them - which doesn't solve anything.
Whether your friend's just being annoying without realising, or s/he's done something terrible that's totally wound you up, it's always wise to pick a good time to talk - preferably when you're feeling calm and there's nobody else around to chip in or stir things up for you.
Your aim here is to encourage this person to see things from your point of view. If your mate can see the upset they've caused for themselves, they'll be more likely to change their behaviour towards you.
Nobody likes to feel as if they're being attacked, or that somehow they have to defend their actions, so don't lay into them - it'll only risk a fistfight (or that slappy-scrap thing girls do sometimes).
You can't expect them to change their behaviour straight away, especially if you're both feeling a bit self-conscious after getting things out in the open. Instead, give them some time and space to process the problem and act upon it. If they value your friendship, you should see a new improved mate in no time.
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I have been friends with Lauren since Kindergarden. We've always been close and I've ignored the fact that she's really geeky. Now, im in 7th grade and I'm starting to be really concious of it. Shes so embarassing!! Her nails look like a witch's and she won't let me cut them. I've been trying to slowly ignore her, but since we've been close since forever its hard to pull away. I know she won't let go of me. I'm her ONLY good friend. Tonight is the football game and I don't want to go with her even though she invited me. I want to go with my other best friend. Number one: How can I pull away from her? Number two: What should I do about the game tonight?? (link)
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Hi There,
Sometimes it's easier to seethe in silence when someone makes you cringe, but that doesn't solve the issue. If anything, bottling up your feelings like this just makes the problem seem worse. It means you risk a situation where your mate steps just slightly out of line once more and you explode right in front of them - which doesn't solve anything.
Whatever your mate has done to make you feel so awkward, it's always wise to pick a good time to talk - preferably when you're feeling calm and there's nobody else around to chip in or stir things up for you.
Your aim here is to encourage this person to think about things from your point of view, without leaving them feeling shame-faced. If your mate can see the upset they've caused for themselves, they'll be more likely to change their behaviour.
Nobody likes to feel as if they're being attacked, or that somehow they have to defend their actions, so don't lay into them - it'll only risk a fistfight (or that slappy-scrap thing girls do sometimes).
You can't expect them to shape up straight away, especially if you're both feeling a bit self-conscious after getting things out in the open. Instead, give them some time and space to process the problem and act upon it. If they value your friendship, you should see a new improved mate in no time.
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as i have said many times before i have a crush on my best friend but she doesnt like me like that and i want to talk to her about it but its hard any advice on how to talk to her about it
i rate 5s when good advice (link)
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Hi there,
Crushes are addictive - they make life exciting, and give you hope and focus. This is why we let ourselves make the same mistakes over and over again, it is the thrill of the chase, except it is often more of a loiter!
Here are just some of the symptoms:
You love them yet you don't even know them
All you can think about is them and what if...
You've planned your whole future
You follow them round like a puppy on your lunch break
You go red whenever you see them
You lose the power of speech and co-ordination in their presence
Butterflies in your stomach
Pounding heart
You stammer/stutter something like "have you got the time?" at them
You imagine hours of conversations with them
How to cope
Try not to tie yourself up in knots about this - you've set yourself up with a fantasy relationship, but that's all. The emotions feeding this fantasy can seem very real, but the advantage is you don't have to deal with the actual person. It's like a sexual encounter without the real-life hassles.
It is fairly unlikely to turn into reality as often crushes are formed on the unobtainable; they may be attached, a famous film star or totally unsuitable. You have to accept that this romance will never exist outside of your own head. Often, just confiding in someone you trust will help you get things in perspective.
If things get too intense try to limit your time spent in their company. In time, you'll get a grip on this fantasy, and see it as a learning experience about some powerful emotions. If anything, it'll work in your favour when it comes to dealing with real life, realistic relationships.
Unobtainable crushes can hurt like hell - the object of your affection may walk past like you don't even exist or, perhaps worse, notice your drooling and laugh about you with all their mates. If this happens, deal with the rejection - treat yourself, see your mates or curl up at home with a DVD of your choice.
On the practical side, try to fill the time you would otherwise spend thinking about your crush. Plan your day. Promise yourself some crush-free time, and set up a reward afterwards. Once you've defined the boundaries, a crush like this can be a positive experience. One that can set you up to deal with the emotional side of future, more realistic relationships.
Try to move on, she obviously has made it clear that she is not interested
Best Wishes
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Im 13 and i really like this guy Brandon and hes a friend of mine but he liked my best friend until she said no when he asked her out. I have a boyfriend but I like Brandon more and hes really cute and i really want him to like me so what should I do? Im also a girl. (link)
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Hi there,
Maybe you've always secretly fancied them, or perhaps love has blossomed out of a long-term friendship. How do you find out whether they fancy you too, and should you even try in the first place?
Think long and hard before you make your feelings known to your friend. Be absolutely certain that you want to take the relationship to another level, make sure it isn't a passing crush.
Be brave, find a quiet moment, and ask him if they want to go out with you sometime. Yes, as more-than-friends. Let him know there's no pressure, and if he say's 'no' then you still want to be mates. Be prepared for a knock back, but hope for the best.
If he says no then be nice, no matter how disappointed you feel. You may have built things up in your own head, but they just didn't see things in that way. Make an effort to keep in touch, but don't get too hung up about the great love that never was. Chalk it down to experience. Keep them as a friend, but make sure your life doesn't revolve around them, have fun with other people and try to find someone else that you fancy.
If they say yes
Lucky you. Go for it.
But firstly make sure you tell your boyfriend how you feel do not keep laeding him on and then hurt his feelings.
Goodluck
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Im 13 and i feel like im not wanted. my mom has a new bf and my dad has a new gf and my brothers 18 and is in a serios relationship so i feel like im not wanted cuz there always with someone else what should i do? (link)
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Hi there,
A lack of confidence in yourself can sap your social life. It can leave you reluctant to meet new people, or confide in people you know because you're worried about how they'll react. The way forward is to identify one thing about yourself that others like and admire, and build on it. We're not talking much here, say your smile or quick wits, but once you've accepted that people respond well to them, things will quickly take off from there.
Watching TV and feeling sorry for yourself don't count as hobby contenders, and everyone has something they'd like to do if only they could be bothered. Well, now that time has come. Whether it's rock climbing, amateur dramatics, ceramics or speaking Spanish, you'll find courses and clubs in your area (see your local paper, or adult education centre for more details). What's more, you'll automatically have a common interest with the people you meet and can draw upon your newfound social confidence to build up friendships.
Try talking to your parents and tell them how you feel. I hope things work out for you
All the best
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well i like this guy named camron and he likes me but the reason he won't go out with me is because he wants me to be more "open" if ya know what i mean. well it's not like he's pressuring me and i'm not talking about sex here. but see i don't know how to make the first move to makeout because i REALLY like him HELP!~!~~!~ (link)
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Hi there,
if you are at all questionning making out with your boyfriend, then don't do it. And I don't think you're ready - because you have questionned it.
Don't feel pressured about doing anything at your age hormones are going to be going a bit wild because you are going through maturity and development.
Hope this helps
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My friend can be so bossy and mean sometimes and she gets mad at m for everything i hate it. We've known eachother since first grade so i dont want to ruin our friendship what should i do?
(link)
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Hi there,
Sometimes it's easier to seethe in silence when someone does something to wind you up, but that doesn't make the issue go away. If anything, bottling up your feelings like this just makes the problem seem worse. It means you risk a situation where your mate steps just slightly out of line and you explode right in front of them - which doesn't solve anything.
Whether your friend's just being annoying without realising, or s/he's done something terrible that's totally wound you up, it's always wise to pick a good time to talk - preferably when you're feeling calm and there's nobody else around to chip in or stir things up for you.
Your aim here is to encourage this person to see things from your point of view. If your mate can see the upset they've caused for themselves, they'll be more likely to change their behaviour towards you.
Nobody likes to feel as if they're being attacked, or that somehow they have to defend their actions, so don't lay into them - it'll only risk a fistfight (or that slappy-scrap thing girls do sometimes).
You can't expect them to change their behaviour straight away, especially if you're both feeling a bit self-conscious after getting things out in the open. Instead, give them some time and space to process the problem and act upon it. If they value your friendship, you should see a new improved mate in no time.
Goodluck
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Theres this boy that I met a while back, and I sorta like LOVE him! It's a weird feeling. When I got back that day from meeting him, I started imaginaing marrying him! He was so sweet, caring, and funny!! He was like my perfect boy! The thing is im 13/f and I don't even know if he likes me!! He's 14 and my family only sees his family once or twice a year!! Any advice on this situation? (link)
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Hi there,
hmmmm...... I think he likes you. He likes to be around you and he feel comfortable around you.
If you can work up your guts, ask him flat out. What's going on with us? I realy like to be around you. Do you like me as a friend or there's more? (well... you can probably word it better than I do. ) See what he responds. =)
Guys tend to do this a lot when it comes to girl, to me I call it 'Playing the field' which is him finding out who he can get, and who he cant, also who could be easy to get with, but then again he may not be like this, I really dont know because Im not in your shoes.
You could try talking to him, ask him basically what is really going on in his head, what he really wants, because guys his age, and even guys my age dont really know what they want in a relationship and they just like to 'play' around by flirting, it makes him feel flattered Im thinking.
He could have said 'I like you as a friend' because hes not ready for a relationship yet, theres a lot of different answers to this question, but the only way to know the true answer is to talk to him, it may be hard, but you could even do it over the phone, it may mean more to him in person though, but its all up to you and what your most comfortable with. Take Care and Im hoping for the best for you.
Best Wishes
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15/f Does anybody know any excercises or anything of that sort to make your butt tighter and smaller?? I'll rate high...
Thanks! (link)
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Hi there,
Step one: set up some goals
It's great that you want to get in shape, but just how far do you want to go in the name of fitness? Without any kind of objective, you risk growing bored and giving up. Maybe you plan to run a half marathon, lose a few pounds before you head off on holiday, or simply want to be able to walk into town without needing a lie down when you get home. Whatever reward you choose, it'll help you to stay focused and fired up.
Step two: create a schedule
Establish some order to your new fitness regime; otherwise it'll quickly crumble. There's no need to overdo it. Experts recommend 20 minutes of cardiovascular exercise, three times a week (the kind that works your lungs and gets your heart pumping). So open up your diary, make some dates and stick to it!
Step three: find a fitness buddy
A mate who shares your objectives can help you stay on track. It's all too easy to convince yourself that it's OK to skip a work out, but another matter entirely if it means facing a friend who's standing there in Lycra - all warmed up and ready to go.
Step four: think of the benefits
The body beautiful - A new, toned physique will not only boost your confidence, it will also make the world realise just how gorgeous you are!
Sleep - If you that have trouble sleeping, start doing some exercise - and yes sex does count. You'll have no trouble getting some kip of an evening after a rigorous work out.
Energy - Regular exercise actually boosts your day-to-day energy levels, rather than zapping them even further. It's a great way to give yourself an energy boost after a long day at the office/ library.
Socialising - Running by yourself is unlikely to help you meet new people, but joining a running club will. The same applies to pretty much any sport, be it diving or dance. Check out local leisure centres, college notice boards etc. It doesn't matter what level you are - there are often beginner, intermediate and professional sessions. Plus the friends you make will help boost your morale and keep you motivated.
Mental health - Regular exercise boosts mental health. Find out the lowdown in our mental health section.
Longer life - Staying in shape can reduce your risk of adult-onset diabetes, heart disease, stroke, blood vessel disorders, thrombosis, and angina to name a few.
Goodluck
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OKay. Make a long story short. I went out with this Varsity football player for like 5 days! But he's either at work or football so i called him to break up with him (Cause i never saw him) n he was like hey call me abck in 20 i'm almost home. so i did and he didnt answer. it was almost 12 and i had to get up in 5 hours so i was like uuugh n left a voicemail asking if we could be friends! i know it was mean but it was like 5 days i didnt think it'd be a big deal. so like 2 days later i called n he was cool said he got the voicemail said he didnt hold grudges then had to go. so i saw him today (like a week later) and he was cold. like my sis drove off so i walking with him back to his work from the liqour store next door n said she was yelling at me for being a caddy bitch and i was really sry bout the whole voicemail thing, n he shrugged n walked inside.
I FEEL TERRIBLE AND I STILL LIKE HIM i need to talk to him asap!! but he works till 11!!! how?!?!|
(sry not so short) (link)
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Hi There
Ok he is one confusing guy - and maybe he's confused himself aswell. He probably likes you and thinks your pretty etc. but just doesn't want an actual relationship. It sounds like he wanted your friendship and he was pleased with you liking him, but didn't really want anything more. Despite that he was flirting with you (he's probably attracted to you) which was a bit out of order if he didn't actually want to talke things further. Maybe he liked the attention from you and didn't want to loose that?
Maybe he doesn't even want a proper relationship at a moment (you know too much effort). He may feel a little awkward because he knows you fancy him which explains why he won't talk to you now. He could also feel a bit guilty because he never phoned you.
Possibly he doesn't know what he wants right now. He's probably not sure whether he wants your friendship or something more... and because of that he's opted for the easy option of ignoring you completely.
I think you have 2 options:
1) You talk to him and sort things out.
or
2) You get over him.
I'd say try out option 1 if you can because otherwise you may regret it. See if you can have a chat with him (best in private!) about your realtionship. Ask him why he's ignoring you - because you deserve to be treated better by someone who was once your friend. See if he wants to be friends again. If he doesn't then get on with option 2 because he's not worth it. If he does then try and make things work out this time. Keep things friendly though - don't phone him until your close again and give him his space. Maybe he just felt a little pressurised before? Let things progress at there own pace. Hey, maybe one day you'll go out and if not it'll be for the best.
Option 2 - Getting Over Him - is hard but very important. I suggest that firstly you try and get all your emotions out (down on paper or to a mate) and then just try and forget him. Tell yourself he's not worth your thoughts (because he isn't!) and keep yourself busy to help you forget him. Go out with mates and socialise - meet new people... and new boys. Before you know it i'm sure you'll meet someone way more worthy of your attention.
About your sister - I suggest you don't let him know who you fancy in the future if he's going to spread it around like that. It was unfair of him to tell your guy's sister and so if your sis talks about you in the future then I think you should firmly say that it's none of her business. This sister does not sound like the nicest person in the world, but maybe she's just over-protective of you - whatever, she has her facts competely wrong but don't blow up at her, just deny the things she accuses you of and try and keep out of her way. Your guy probably wouldn't want you fighting with your sister every 2 seconds!
Maybe this football player just isn't worth all the trouble. It seems like he might just be as confused, or more confused, than you are. I'd make sure that he knew you'd be there if he ever did want to talk, but don't push anything. Look around for someone new, there are plenty of fish in the sea!
Good Luck!
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My Bestfriend and I meet in kindergardon, and have been friends ever scince, but now he is hanging out with these other girls (who are total losers by the way) and he says he doesnt want to be friends anymore. Just a couple days ago he tryed weed!! all because of these girls...:@ i no i should'nt care anymore but i can't help it, i feel like im still his bestfriend and all that...i feel so bad that all my friends pretty much are doing weed, and i want to just stop fighting and be friends agian, but the girls that he hangs out with now dont like me, and they have also tryed achocal and they've only hung out for a couple of days! im afried they will try something worse....
Please help,
Lost And Confussed. (link)
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Hi there,
Sometimes it's easier to seethe in silence when someone does something to wind you up, but that doesn't make the issue go away. If anything, bottling up your feelings like this just makes the problem seem worse. It means you risk a situation where your mate steps just slightly out of line and you explode right in front of them - which doesn't solve anything.
Whether your friend's just being annoying without realising, or s/he's done something terrible that's totally wound you up, it's always wise to pick a good time to talk - preferably when you're feeling calm and there's nobody else around to chip in or stir things up for you.
Your aim here is to encourage this person to see things from your point of view. If your mate can see the upset they've caused for themselves, they'll be more likely to change their behaviour towards you.
Nobody likes to feel as if they're being attacked, or that somehow they have to defend their actions, so don't lay into them - it'll only risk a fistfight (or that slappy-scrap thing girls do sometimes).
You can't expect them to change their behaviour straight away, especially if you're feeling a bit self-conscious after getting things out in the open. Instead, give them some time and space to process the problem and act upon it. If they value your friendship, you should see a new improved mate in no time.
Goodluck
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for some reason i have trouble meeting people..idk i have a social problem.lol.yeah ur probably not laughing.how do i make friends because in all my classes i have people from last year that i hate or they hate me or dont want to get to know me because im not in the 'cool' group or my style of clothing which is like punkish shit and another thing is that how do i meet a guy..because im not pretty and dont say everyone is pretty blah blah blah well everyone says im pretty like girl and older people but no not guys those assholes.how do i like help all this (link)
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Hi there,
Stay motivated
There's nothing more likely to kill your social life that emerging from work or college at five thirty into a dark, wet, miserable night.
Arrange to meet friends straight from work/college rather than going home first - it's too tempting to hibernate once you're in!
Be imaginative - don't just arrange to go to the pub every night, do some research and surprise your friends with something different. Many museums and galleries do late viewings and have bars you can drink in, or try the theatre, gigs, comedy clubs... anything to make you feel pleased that you made the effort.
Book tickets for events/exercise classes in advance, sign up to a course or join a team sport that you can't back out of at the last minute.
If you really can't make it out, invite friends over to your place and make a night of it there. Spice up the evening by giving it a theme (such as a country) and ask guests to bring something to contribute like music, food, drink and films.
Explore your interests
Watching TV and feeling sorry for yourself don't count as hobby contenders, and everyone has something they'd like to do if only they could be bothered. Well, now that time has come. Whether it's rock climbing, amateur dramatics, ceramics or speaking Spanish, you'll find courses and clubs in your area (see your local paper, or adult education centre for more details). What's more, you'll automatically have a common interest with the people you meet.
A lack of confidence in yourself can sap your social life. It can leave you reluctant to meet new people or confide in people you know because you're worried about how they'll react. The way forward is to identify one thing about yourself that others like and admire, and build on it. We're not talking much here, say your smile or quick wits, but once you've accepted that people respond well to them, things will start taking off.
There's no worse time to realise how many of your mates are 'coupled off' than winter. They all start 'staying in' to watch videos and cook romantic meals, leaving singletons wondering where all their mates have gone.
Believe it or not, you can turn being single into a positive by incorporating dating into your social life. Get your 'smug marrieds' to set you up with all their wonderful single friends (they can cook you all a nice meal at their house to get the ball rolling), or consider a dating agency. It's big business at the moment, and as more people find their lives are too hectic to make room for romance, so the prospect of an agency playing cupid on your behalf seems much more appealing. Many agencies advertise in the classified section of the local paper, but do find out precisely what role they'll be playing before you hand over any cash.
A dog is a man's best friend, but you can bond with pretty much anything that has a mother and a heartbeat. From small-scale ant farms to cats or parakeets, another living creature in your life could be just what you need. Just don't take anything on without thinking through the consequences. A puppy is for life, after all. You can't take Rover into the city and lose him when your social life takes off and there's nobody at home to feed him. No really, you can't.
Goodluck
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There's this girl I like, she's 13, kind of shy, asian, but I dont know how to approach her. And is 13 too young to start a relationship? I would appreciate you peoples' help thx. (link)
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Hi there
I'll try and give you a tips on do's and don't
DO
Introduce yourself first, before asking their name
Make brief eye contact from time to time, and smile
Ask them about themselves
Ask open questions, in other words ones that can't be answered with just a 'yes' or a 'no'
Ask about their interests, find out if you share any
Show interest in their answers
Strike a balance when answering their questions so you appear interesting, but still fairly modest
Lean towards them a little more if things seem to be going well
Try mirroring their body language
Leave them wanting to know a bit more about you
Act relaxed and confident, but not arrogant
Have a sense of humour
It's OK to tell them they are attractive if you like them, in case they start thinking of you as 'just a friend'
If it goes well, say you'd like to meet them again and ask if they'd like to swap numbers
Be honest if you don't want to take it any further
Keep your cool if they tell you they're not interested
Don't
Call someone 'babe' or 'darlin', and forget to ask their name
Stare or leer at them
Put up with any crap if someone is being creepy
Use tacky lines and expect them to work
Hound someone who is obviously not interested
Insult them, or make them the butt of nasty jokes
Demand someone's entire life story
Talk about yourself incessantly, not letting them get a word in
Try too hard to make yourself sound important
Go on at length about miserable things from your past
Ignore their answers when you've asked them a question
Boast about how good you are in bed
Boast about how many other lovers you've had
Get pressured into giving your number to someone you don't like or find scary
Ask for their number if you know you won't be calling them
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Okay lately everytime I eat something my stomach hurts right after.
I can't even eat a small bowl of cereal without having to lay my stomach on a pillow for a few minutes without feeling nauseated. Any one have an idea of what could be wrong here? (link)
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Hi there,
Irritable bowel syndrome is often shortened to IBS. Other names include 'nervous indigestion' and 'spastic colon'. It often starts in early adulthood.
In a fully-functioning body, your guts work a little bit like a factory processing plant. Food gets carried along, stopping at regular intervals to be broken down and slowly digested. Eventually, there's nothing left but waste product, and that gets dumped round the back when nobody's looking.
IBS is an intestinal complaint that sees the whole processing operation go askew. The muscles that keep things moving are believed to go into spasm every now and then, which mucks up the digestion process from start to finish. IBS is not known to be caused by any specific physical abnormality, and this can make it difficult to diagnose.
Nobody knows what's behind IBS, but it is closely linked with emotional factors such as stress, bereavement and other major life changes such as moving house or getting a job. While stress does not actually cause IBS, it can leave you prone to an attack if you already suffer from the condition. Some sufferers say that it can be set off by certain foods too.
Symptoms vary from one person to the next, and also kick in over different periods of time:
You get abdominal pain or discomfort that goes away soon after you go to the toilet.
Your stomach feels bloated, often midway through a meal.
You may find yourself veering between constipation and diarrhoea.
Passing slime or mucus out of the bowel.
Erratic bowel movements, often with 'rabbit pellets' being passed.
How to cope with it
Always let your doctor make the diagnosis, as some symptoms are closely related to more serious bowel complaints.
Shape up your diet to make digestion easier. Include lots of fibre (rice, pasta, wholemeal bread), and drink water frequently throughout the day.
Eat more fresh fruit and vegetables, and cut out the junk. Also avoid food that tends to give you wind.
Don't bolt your food. Take your time or make your meals smaller then eat little and often throughout the day.
Identify those areas of your life that are causing you stress, and aim to improve the situation. Look into alternative treatments that can help reduce symptoms associated with IBS.
You might be having IBS, but you have to go and see your Doctor to find out whats going on.
Goodluck
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Alright, I dated this guy for about 2 months. And we just broke up about I guess 2 weeks ago? Well before we broke up, things were going great. A few nights before we went to a football game and he was telling me how much he cared about me and how happy it made him that he could hold me and junk like that (Corny I know). Well a few days later he talks to my brother and tells him he has to break up with me. I was devasted to say the least. So I called him. He told me what had happened... that he just had too much going on in his life right now and couldn't handle a relationship. We rarely were able to see each other and the only way we could talk was after he got off work at like 11:30 at night. And sometimes he was so tired that the conversations weren't that long. So I understand why he did it. He kept telling me on the phone he still loved me and he cared about me and that he hoped it wouldn't be a permanent thing, ya know? And I told him that it was fine and that I understood. Well now things are weird. I see him every other day or so whenever my brother wants to go and see him at his work. And I can handle seeing him just fine. But we don't really talk. He'll say a few words to me and stuff like that, but that's about it. He'll joke and crap. One time when I went up there, he hugged my brother really short and then hugged me and I thought he wasn't going to let go. Anyway, he claims he cares about me so much and that he wants us to get back together eventually, but he never even calls. Even when he's off work... and I'm just confused. I'm trying to figure out if he still feels anything for me and why he doesn't even call. If any of you could help me I'd be more than glad to rate... I'll rate high too!!
Thanks so much for reading this.
xoxo (link)
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hi,
It sounds like your feelings for this guy have overwhelmed you, and prevented you from viewing the situation objectively. From what you've said it's clear he has some commitment problems, but was prepared to play with your emotions while making his own interests a priority.
Right now, however, it's understandably hard for you to accept this. It will take time to get over him, and the way forward is to surround yourself with friends and family. By all means talk about what happened to people you trust, but also focus on the fact that you're a free agent now with a life of your own to lead.
What you're feeling won't go away overnight. In many ways you need to grieve for the loss of what you had. But slowly you'll learn to accept that what happened is in the past, and move on feeling stronger for the experience
Goodluck
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really like this boy, and my friend found out that i liked him, and she's being stirring rumours that arent true and she found out that the boy i like has alot of common things with me and she is trying to be his perfect image which is me i recently found out that they are going out what should i do
and now the person that i found out that she thinks there is something going on between me and him
i don't know what to do and she's always saying how they are moving to california after her degree.
help i am hurt, confused (link)
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Hi there,
Sometimes it's easier to seethe in silence when someone does something to wind you up, but that doesn't make the issue go away. If anything, bottling up your feelings like this just makes the problem seem worse. It means you risk a situation where your mate steps just slightly out of line and you explode right in front of them - which doesn't solve anything.
Whether your friend's just being annoying without realising, or she's done something terrible that's totally wound you up, it's always wise to pick a good time to talk - preferably when you're feeling calm and there's nobody else around to chip in or stir things up for you.
Your aim here is to encourage this person to see things from your point of view. If your mate can see the upset they've caused for themselves, they'll be more likely to change their behaviour towards you.
Nobody likes to feel as if they're being attacked, or that somehow they have to defend their actions, so don't lay into them - it'll only risk a fistfight (or that slappy-scrap thing girls do sometimes).
You can't expect them to change their behaviour straight away, especially if you're both feeling a bit self-conscious after getting things out in the open. Instead, give them some time and space to process the problem and act upon it. If they value your friendship, you should see a new improved mate in no time.
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I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 26/5 . I know my boyfriend for two months.he is labenese and i'm iranian , we were a happy couple we never had a fight . one day he told me that his family wants him to marry a girl from his own nationality. and when i asked him about his idea he said that he likes the girl but as the same time he does not want to lose me!!!!and i was upset i told him we need to talk but he kept postponing ourdate then we could not talk. I wrote to him that I love him and i can not see him with somebody else , so i will move out of his life and he can go on with his. from that day he is not giving me a direct answer, he keeps saying that he does not want to lose me but he does not talk to me about the whole issue. I even tried not to answer his calls for few days but he kept calling.he is insisting that we have to continue our relationship. I don't know who I am in his life anymore. by the way he told his causine that he loves me as a sister!!! I don't remember being his sister. he does not know what he wants.all i know is that i love him but i want this relationship only if I know that he also has some feelings for me. PLEASE HELP ME (link)
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Hi there,
Whatever background you come from, there will always be some differences between you and your partner, but they won't necessarily be based on your religious beliefs. However, if you completely disagree on important issues you may find life difficult.
Put things into perspective. You don't always have to agree with your partner, in fact it can make life interesting to be close to someone who disagrees with you, just as long as those disagreements don't become monumental hurdles that you'll never get over.
Friends might believe stereotypes about a religion and have negative reactions to your choice of partner at first. Explain to them how you feel about your partner and let them meet each other and form their own opinions based on the person rather than the religion.
Both your family and your partners' family may have problems accepting the relationship. Your partner may choose to keep your existence a secret from them. It doesn't feel nice to be someone's dirty secret but you have to try to be understanding.
this kind of problem isn't uncommon. "The main problem people face when getting into a relationship with someone of a different religion is negative reactions from family and friends," he says. So what can you do? "The most important factors are respect and understanding - for your family and your partner. Be prepared to sit down and discuss issues; listen as well as talk. You need to address problems without steaming in with demands."
You may have to get used to certain customs
Make an effort to learn about your partners' religion so you understand their point of view. Some things may seem strange at first, but if you stay together long term, they will quickly seem natural. If you are unwilling to make small changes it's unlikely that the relationship will work in the long run.
However, when it comes to bigger issues such as moving in together, marrying and having children, it's important to talk early on and set some boundaries on how much you're willing to change. If either of you have strong feelings that your children should be brought up in a certain way, for example, you will need to come to some agreement about it.
a mixed religion relationship can be a success so long as the couple work at it. "Whether the relationship will survive long term depends upon the strength of feeling involved and the two people putting the effort in to making it work."
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