I have been friends with Lauren since Kindergarden. We've always been close and I've ignored the fact that she's really geeky. Now, im in 7th grade and I'm starting to be really concious of it. Shes so embarassing!! Her nails look like a witch's and she won't let me cut them. I've been trying to slowly ignore her, but since we've been close since forever its hard to pull away. I know she won't let go of me. I'm her ONLY good friend. Tonight is the football game and I don't want to go with her even though she invited me. I want to go with my other best friend. Number one: How can I pull away from her? Number two: What should I do about the game tonight??
Additional info, added Friday September 23 2005, 4:16 pm: Shes also really anooying!!!!!!!. Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? xxKillerQueen answered Saturday September 24 2005, 7:18 am: God, someone's a bit bitchy. You don't ditch your best fucking friend because she's 'geeky' in your opinion. Thats something someone thats a label sheep and a follower would do. You said it yourself, you didn't use to notice it before but now you do. Why? So what if people think its geeky? At the end of the day she's your friend and you stick together, no matter what people say. And if you really do want to ditch this girl, I hope that your other friends ditch youu so you can get a taste of your own medicene and I hope that Lauren will refuse to be your friend again after that, just so you can realise what you might be jeopardising, here.
I had a best friend I thought I wanted to rid of for good a few years ago, we're still close but we're not best friends. Tell her you need some time out if thats the case, like I did. Made a few mistakes along the way but I think you can handle this way more smoothly than to just drop her all in one time. [ xxKillerQueen's advice column | Ask xxKillerQueen A Question ]
XoXo_BloNdiEbAbeS answered Friday September 23 2005, 7:48 pm: you just need some space. when she calls your house dont anser....when she aim;s you dont respond when you let her attach to you then it is hard to let go....hang with your other best friend tonight have fun and forget about lauren....remember SPACE!
best wishes
xoxomadeline xoxolindsay [ XoXo_BloNdiEbAbeS's advice column | Ask XoXo_BloNdiEbAbeS A Question ]
hotshot answered Friday September 23 2005, 7:31 pm: you can ether just become her worst enemy or you can just give her a sleeping pill and then when she is asleep just clip her nails and fix the flaws.
#1: every day see less and less of her until you see her no more.
#2: you can say you went but didn't see her so you went with your other friend. she'll under stand. trust me i've don it before. n_n [ hotshot's advice column | Ask hotshot A Question ]
oliveyoux3 answered Friday September 23 2005, 7:01 pm: I know!
But im a person who beleives in god...what you sew is what you reek basiclly (KARMA)
you mave have really popular friends now but that my change...i know this beacuse it happend to me...i had my friend lace and shes a dork and w.e and i always left her to go with these other girls and then those girls ended up hating me...and blah blah
basiclly she has stuck by since foerver...do you want to loose that by the way she looks and acts? people can change those things... but ur ruining ur friendship over something stupid...
truth is she will grow out of it just like my firend lace did..
*Kate* answered Friday September 23 2005, 6:37 pm: If you really want to just drop her as a friend you need to do it nicely. You have been friends for a long time and you do not want to hurt her. Whenever she asks if you want to go somewhere together tell her you already have plans, If you used to talk on the phone 3 times a week, cut that down to 1. After awhile you will be free from her and she will think that you naturally drifted apart. [ *Kate*'s advice column | Ask *Kate* A Question ]
ScratchesOnTheWall answered Friday September 23 2005, 5:54 pm: Ok well pull away from her if you want to, start going places and not telling her where you'll be and when. When she asks you to meet up, be really vague about when you're free and make excuses to leave when in her company- she'll get the hint soon enough but will likely cling onto you still for a while if she has no-one else to turn to.
But I would also like to say that you need to be aware you are going to hurt this girl a LOT. It always hurts to be dismissed by your best friend but you've been friends since kindergarden, so she really won't know how she's supposed to go about life without you. And from there stems a warning for you too- are you sure you won't miss her once she's gone? You might not miss her "geekyness" or annoying habits but there must be things you like about her for you to have been friends so long. Just make sure you know what you're giving up because it's pretty unlikely she'll forgive you for a very long time if you reject her when she probably already feels pretty alone (you as her only good friend).
Lastly, things like lack of nail trimming and "geekyness" will not last. Neither will the "cool" people. I give it until you're about 16/17 for those things to stop mattering. You're both teenagers and teenagers go through gawky phases- (if you haven't yet, you will, trust me)so the trick is to try to see past all that to the person they are and make a decision about whether you want their friendship based on that, not what other people will think of it.
dhrutts answered Friday September 23 2005, 4:43 pm: Hi There,
Sometimes it's easier to seethe in silence when someone makes you cringe, but that doesn't solve the issue. If anything, bottling up your feelings like this just makes the problem seem worse. It means you risk a situation where your mate steps just slightly out of line once more and you explode right in front of them - which doesn't solve anything.
Whatever your mate has done to make you feel so awkward, it's always wise to pick a good time to talk - preferably when you're feeling calm and there's nobody else around to chip in or stir things up for you.
Your aim here is to encourage this person to think about things from your point of view, without leaving them feeling shame-faced. If your mate can see the upset they've caused for themselves, they'll be more likely to change their behaviour.
Nobody likes to feel as if they're being attacked, or that somehow they have to defend their actions, so don't lay into them - it'll only risk a fistfight (or that slappy-scrap thing girls do sometimes).
You can't expect them to shape up straight away, especially if you're both feeling a bit self-conscious after getting things out in the open. Instead, give them some time and space to process the problem and act upon it. If they value your friendship, you should see a new improved mate in no time. [ dhrutts's advice column | Ask dhrutts A Question ]
LittlePip answered Friday September 23 2005, 4:16 pm: There was one word that stuck in my head when I read your question, and that word was 'SELFISH.'
Maybe she thinks YOU are geeky, or perhaps theres something about you that annoys her? She's not selfish enough however, to ditch her best friend and be ashamed of her.
Think about this, you've known her since KINDERGARTEN and now you're in 7th grade? That's an awfully long time, and it would be a shame to see such a great friendship go to waste.
Don't ditch her tonight, SHE invited YOU. Without HER, you'd probably be sitting at home doing nothing.
I can understand that perhaps you guys need time apart and to make new friends, but you shouldn't completely cut her out.
Maybe hang around with some new friends without her, but do something together at least once a week, so she doesn't feel like you've ditched her.
xoxBlondieBarbiexox answered Friday September 23 2005, 4:15 pm: You shouldn't not like someone because of there looks..if shes really your bestfriend you wouldn't be feeling this way about her..maybe you could sit her down and talk with her about how your feeling && maybe shell understand...YES YOU SHOULD GO TO THE GAME! [ xoxBlondieBarbiexox's advice column | Ask xoxBlondieBarbiexox A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.