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What's his deal?
Alright, I dated this guy for about 2 months. And we just broke up about I guess 2 weeks ago? Well before we broke up, things were going great. A few nights before we went to a football game and he was telling me how much he cared about me and how happy it made him that he could hold me and junk like that (Corny I know). Well a few days later he talks to my brother and tells him he has to break up with me. I was devasted to say the least. So I called him. He told me what had happened... that he just had too much going on in his life right now and couldn't handle a relationship. We rarely were able to see each other and the only way we could talk was after he got off work at like 11:30 at night. And sometimes he was so tired that the conversations weren't that long. So I understand why he did it. He kept telling me on the phone he still loved me and he cared about me and that he hoped it wouldn't be a permanent thing, ya know? And I told him that it was fine and that I understood. Well now things are weird. I see him every other day or so whenever my brother wants to go and see him at his work. And I can handle seeing him just fine. But we don't really talk. He'll say a few words to me and stuff like that, but that's about it. He'll joke and crap. One time when I went up there, he hugged my brother really short and then hugged me and I thought he wasn't going to let go. Anyway, he claims he cares about me so much and that he wants us to get back together eventually, but he never even calls. Even when he's off work... and I'm just confused. I'm trying to figure out if he still feels anything for me and why he doesn't even call. If any of you could help me I'd be more than glad to rate... I'll rate high too!!
Thanks so much for reading this.
xoxo
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hey there. ...Exes... weird subject. I heart my ex but that's not the point. Anyway. ...Have you asked him lately if he still has feelings for you? Maybe he used to but doesn't anymore. ...Or maybe somewhere along the way he found other things or other people that gave him the idea that he was young and should experience different relationships instead of just being with you. Maybe he does want to be with you... but he wants to experience too. I say this because after my ex broke up with me he told me he wanted to be friends but I was kind of bitter (and I still had feelings for him) so I said no. Then like a month later we got back together and thinga were going great but then we broke up again and then... it seemed like he still had feelings for him and for a while he said he still did but I recently told him I still liked him and he said he only liked me as a friend. ...Sometimes feelings change.
Let's not jump to the worst yet. I really hope that's not the case with you because it really does hurt. Anyway. Ask him if he still has feelings for you and tell him you still have feelings for him. And ask him when he has time off so you guys can talk. Start making plans to talk with him. If he seems weird about him tell him that your friends say some guy says he likes you and stuff and see how he reacts to it. His reaction and can tell you a lot about how he feels for you. But just don't go too far with the story cause he may think you're trying to make him jeolous.
Take care.
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Sometimes when you really have feelings for someone it gets hard to see the whole picture. I'd like to help you with that.
A lot of guys get into relationships and get bored for whatever reason but still care about the person they have a relationship with. This technique of saying "It just can't work right now" is a way of them letting you down easy. Believe me, if a guy wants to be with you, he'll change his schedule and make time for you. That fact that he's not calling shows that he just doesn't want the relationship anymore.
If you ever get a chance to talk to him, I would suggest asking him just to be sincere and say you'll understand. If he really is feeling that way, at least an openness may allow for a friendship in the future. Good luck girlie. :)
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hi,
It sounds like your feelings for this guy have overwhelmed you, and prevented you from viewing the situation objectively. From what you've said it's clear he has some commitment problems, but was prepared to play with your emotions while making his own interests a priority.
Right now, however, it's understandably hard for you to accept this. It will take time to get over him, and the way forward is to surround yourself with friends and family. By all means talk about what happened to people you trust, but also focus on the fact that you're a free agent now with a life of your own to lead.
What you're feeling won't go away overnight. In many ways you need to grieve for the loss of what you had. But slowly you'll learn to accept that what happened is in the past, and move on feeling stronger for the experience
Goodluck
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It's possible that this guy does care about you and is trying to do the best he can in a difficult situation. It might be painful for him to be around you when he can't have a relationship with you. Or he might feel that you'd be better going out with someone on a more regular schedule and therefore not want to stay close to you so that you turn down someone else.
Unfortunately it's also possible that he's young, confused and selfish.
In either event I'd suggest that you get out and live your life. If he's genuine and you're meant to be together then his circumstances will change and he'll ask you out again. And if he's a jerk then you'll get over him quicker.
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