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help me out
I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 26/5 . I know my boyfriend for two months.he is labenese and i'm iranian , we were a happy couple we never had a fight . one day he told me that his family wants him to marry a girl from his own nationality. and when i asked him about his idea he said that he likes the girl but as the same time he does not want to lose me!!!!and i was upset i told him we need to talk but he kept postponing ourdate then we could not talk. I wrote to him that I love him and i can not see him with somebody else , so i will move out of his life and he can go on with his. from that day he is not giving me a direct answer, he keeps saying that he does not want to lose me but he does not talk to me about the whole issue. I even tried not to answer his calls for few days but he kept calling.he is insisting that we have to continue our relationship. I don't know who I am in his life anymore. by the way he told his causine that he loves me as a sister!!! I don't remember being his sister. he does not know what he wants.all i know is that i love him but i want this relationship only if I know that he also has some feelings for me. PLEASE HELP ME
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It seems like you feel like you're being jerked around. This relationship seems like it's causing you stress. Is there any fun part anymore? Re-asses what's going on. If you really still love him, tell him that he needs to figure out what he wants. Fast. Or he's going to lose you anyway. And be very firm and serious about it, but don't yell either.
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Hi there,
Whatever background you come from, there will always be some differences between you and your partner, but they won't necessarily be based on your religious beliefs. However, if you completely disagree on important issues you may find life difficult.
Put things into perspective. You don't always have to agree with your partner, in fact it can make life interesting to be close to someone who disagrees with you, just as long as those disagreements don't become monumental hurdles that you'll never get over.
Friends might believe stereotypes about a religion and have negative reactions to your choice of partner at first. Explain to them how you feel about your partner and let them meet each other and form their own opinions based on the person rather than the religion.
Both your family and your partners' family may have problems accepting the relationship. Your partner may choose to keep your existence a secret from them. It doesn't feel nice to be someone's dirty secret but you have to try to be understanding.
this kind of problem isn't uncommon. "The main problem people face when getting into a relationship with someone of a different religion is negative reactions from family and friends," he says. So what can you do? "The most important factors are respect and understanding - for your family and your partner. Be prepared to sit down and discuss issues; listen as well as talk. You need to address problems without steaming in with demands."
You may have to get used to certain customs
Make an effort to learn about your partners' religion so you understand their point of view. Some things may seem strange at first, but if you stay together long term, they will quickly seem natural. If you are unwilling to make small changes it's unlikely that the relationship will work in the long run.
However, when it comes to bigger issues such as moving in together, marrying and having children, it's important to talk early on and set some boundaries on how much you're willing to change. If either of you have strong feelings that your children should be brought up in a certain way, for example, you will need to come to some agreement about it.
a mixed religion relationship can be a success so long as the couple work at it. "Whether the relationship will survive long term depends upon the strength of feeling involved and the two people putting the effort in to making it work."
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it seems like this guy is confused on what he wants or what he should be doing. It must be hard for him to choose between his family and you. but remember you have been going out only for 2 months so i take it yr not going to rush into anything like maridge. But he is not being fair keeping you in the dark about his feelings towards you and where you stand in your relationship. Make it known you do not what to be part of the relationship if he does not talk to you. I think you should confront him and get a straight answer out of him on his own does he have msn or the internet? as it is easy to talk to him. it seems you gave him space to think about what he wants so he should have some kind of an answer or an explain for his action. if he doesn't then I suggest you end it and find someone eles. Ask for his sister I would not believe what she says because you said it youeself that his family wants him to marry someone of the same nationality so she could be trying to get rid of you.
best of luck i hope i helped. xxx
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his family clearly must have some kinda of hold on him, that is unfortunate. If he intends to marry the other girl, but still expects you and him to be as close as you too were before, then something's wrong with that.
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It's about time you get angry. What this man is doing is completely unfair. He is stringing you along and not even pretending to be bothered with your feelings.
Do you really want a relationship where your partner wont speak to you about important culture issues and life decisions? Who wont even acknowledge that those issues have a huge emotional impact on you?
The first chance you get ask once more for a frank and open discussion about his feelings and the issues, explain that it is hurting you and making you feel insecure and unsure if you wish to pursue this relationship. If he still refuses to discuss anything and keeps insisting on the relationship without offering you any consideration or explanation, end it.
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I'm sorry, but it sounds as if he's already chosen his family over you. I'm sure he still has feelings for you, but if he *really* loved you, he'd either tell his family that he was going to marry you...or he'd tell you the truth, so you could be free and find someone who could make you happy for the rest of your life.
Instead, it sounds as if he wants to play you along for as long as possible, enjoying your company when he can - or at least, not having to feel guilty about hurting you - while obeying his family and getting ready to marry that Lebanese girl.
I can understand that. I have distant relatives in Lebanon (I'm Armenian), and have some knowledge of the region. Culture, and family, are very strong there. I'm sure that you can understand that yourself. So try not to hate him. It won't help.
But you need to be terribly honest with yourself now. If he loved you enough to defy his family, he'd have DONE that...and he didn't. Instead, he's lying. To you and to others. This will only get worse and worse, and it will lead to utter disaster.
For your own sake, you must leave him now, before he can hurt you even more. I know that it hurts terribly, but this is the best thing that you can do for yourself. In time, your heart will heal and you will find love again - a real love, a man who values you above all others.
On that day, I wish you much happiness.
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