If you don't like him, there's no reason to worry about what he's feeling. Lol I know it sounds a little selfish, but if you went out with him and don't like him, you'd just be leading him on, and that's even worse than turning him down.
If you think you sorta like him but aren't sure, you could always just give it a chance. Go hang out with him one-on-one once and if you feel like running for the hills at the end of the day, then you can tell him "hey, sorry, but I just don't like you like that."
All guys are immature. Trust me, it doesn't get any better when you get older. They're just immature in different ways, then.
If you're concerned about looks and his just aren't your style, then there's nothing wrong with that, and I think you can pretend not to notice that he likes you.
I suggest you try freewriting a little. Just for like, ten minutes, sit down with your computer or paper and a pen and write, and don't stop. Just type out or write out whatever comes to mind, and you aren't allowed to use the delete or backspace key. The idea is to get your thoughts moving, so you can't slow down.
After you do that a couple times you may find your conclusion as to whether you like him or not.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Him talking about other girls has nothing to do with whether or not he likes you. Honestly, guys talk about that shit all the time. Hell, I do it, too. When I was with my last guy, I'd be like "Wow, that guy's hot," just not thinking about it. Then again, we had the kind of comfortable relationship where we just sort of knew that we loved each other and what we said about anyone else didn't matter.
What you told me about him running out with no shirt or shoes to come talk to you, how he always sits next to you, smiles when he sees you and doesn't correct people when they call you his girlfriend is pretty telling if you ask me.
A guy who didn't like you would probably say something like "She's not my girlfriend," and wouldn't bother going out to see you unless he was fully clothed.
This guy's making an effort to get your attention in any way, shape, and form he can. He probably doesn't want to be too obvious, which is why he isn't cutting the talk about other girls. He's teasing you, too, with the "no not really" thing. When my last guy liked me, he teased me nonstop about the insecurities he knew I had, and it drove me nuts, so I teased him back. We were pretty mean to each other, then kind of wound up connecting one night over The Art of Seduction and the rest was history.
Even just the thought that he wants to hang out alone with you, and gets jealous easily should be a sign. If a guy doesn't give a shit, he doesn't get jealous...unless he's randomly really emotional...in which case he's weird, lol.
Anyway, it's pretty clear to me that this guy likes you. He seems kind of hesitant about it for some reason, though. How do you feel about him? If you're on the same wavelength, you might wanna hang out just the two of you and get to know him better.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

I would just tell him something like, "hey, I don't want to necessarily bring up the other night, but I know that stuff wasn't easy for you to tell me, and I want you to know that I'm here for you if you need me."
I've had experience with this kind of guy - he took all his frustration out on me, and I kept having to remind myself it wasn't me he was angry at, it was himself. He tried to push me towards perfection because he was imperfect, and it was just a really difficult relationship, but we became each others' confidantes, and were able to talk to each other about anything and everything. Though he wasn't really the type to say "hey, I'm here for you if you ever need me," he showed it through checking up on me, calling me if I had an iffy away message (something like "mleh", or "I need hugs,"), things like that.
You could go that route, too, if you don't want to take the direct approach. Pay attention to the way he acts, if something's iffy, check up on him. Be there even if he doesn't want to say he needs you. While no one can read minds, and we shouldn't be expected to, it can help to be aware of the underlying things that go on. Everyone reveals something sometime - you just want to make sure you pick up on it, if you want him to go to you for comfort.
Be his shoulder to cry on, so to speak.
If you choose to go the route of bringing it up directly, I wouldn't have a whole conversation about it because chances are he won't want to, but you can say your piece and leave the rest to him. You can't make him trust or rely on you, he'll have to learn on his own. And he will.
-Siren =)

It could be stress. I have a four month old kitten who used one of my beanbag chairs as a litterbox after my friend came over and scared her repeatedly. Just make sure your puppy gets a lot of love before bed so she doesn't feel alone, or even leave your bedroom door open so she can come to you if she wants. My kitten sleeps with me, so I've never had that particular issue.
Has your puppy been okay with going outside before? It could be that she needs to be reminded where her bathroom is, in which case you might take the poop and put it outside, let her check it out with you, and hopefully she'll associate the outside with the bathroom actions. Animals are pretty smart, and they can generally learn to associate two things. Famous example is Pavlov and his dogs, who learned to associate food with a ringing bell - he'd give them food, ring a bell, and they'd salivate. Then eventually they associated salivating with the ringing bell. It's kinda cool.
Anyway.
The couple times my kitten missed the litterbox (and I adopted her already trained), I just wiped everything up, put it in her litterbox, and then put her in it so she'd associate the two things, and we've been pretty mess-free ever since.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Wow, does that sound familiar. I can't even drop my defenses enough to get to know a guy anymore, let alone date one. Lol.
My best advice is to ask him to help you. If you really feel that you want to open up to him, you need to let him know what's going on in your head. If he already knows and he's trying to help, you might need to ask him to be aware of his reactions, too - if you get overly emotional, he might respond in kind, but what you need him to do is calm you down. Not to say you two can't ever fight, because that's healthy, but it's a good idea to pick your fights...not on your significant other. =) If he really wants the relationship to work, he'll be willing to work with you.
Of course, to know what's going on in your head, you have to be in touch with your heart. For that, you could try freewriting - just type for ten minutes straight (at least) every day and see what comes out, even if it's just "I have nothing to say, I have nothing to say, this is dumb, I have nothing to say," you'll eventually tap into something new if you keep your fingers moving. You also aren't allowed to hit the delete key while you're freewriting.
Being aware of what's going on in your head is half the battle. The next step is going to be to catch yourself when you're about to pick at something and tell yourself "hey self, that's totally dumb and you don't need to think about it."
For me it was always a difficult balance between having him help me and feeling too much like he was reading my mind, but eventually I learned to love the closeness we had, and he turned into my best friend and advocate.
Another idea to help you tap into your heart is drawing, or talking to yourself - anything that gets your thoughts moving.
If you want someone to talk at who's kind of in the same boat (and the same age), feel free to IM me (SirenCytherea (just make sure you IM more than once so I don't think you're spam)). I'm online constantly.
-Siren =)

www.absurdlycool.com
They gather free stuff from all over the place. I've gotten perfume samples, pet food samples, tea samples, deoderant samples, etc...
It's a great site. Check it out.
-Siren =)

Honestly, the best thing you can do to wake yourself up in the morning is drink a glass of orange juice and go for a short jog.
You need to stop drinking caffeine if it isn't affecting you anymore, or if it's affecting you negatively. Your body has developed a tolerance for it, and too much caffeine is a BAD thing, even if you think it's not doing anything.
As for the Monster energy drink, there's probably something in it you're allergic to, or that doesn't agree with you, and I would either stay away from those drinks altogether.
If you need some supplement for energy, get B vitamins, or Zipfizz energy powder. I used to take a tube of that, mix it with a scoop of protein powder, drink it down, and go running. Zipfizz is amazing for energy. It's sugar free, as far as I remember, and doesn't actually have caffeine in it. In fact, I highly recommend Zipfizz for you. You can find it in any GNC, Vitamin Shoppe, or any of those places. Switch up your routine a little, your body will love you for it.
-Siren =)

Yeah. I got my first guitar about a month ago, and my fingers still throb a little after a couple hours (granted, I tend to play for three or four hours on end every day, which may be a little excessive, but still).
I decided to learn on an electric, largely because of the size of the guitar versus my hands. I have pretty small hands - I can barely comfortably reach an octave on a piano - and I thought an acoustic would be difficult for me to learn to stretch my hand on, and I wondered about the possibility of hand injury because of it.
I also wanted to learn to play rock songs - my favorite band is Disturbed.
I have an Ibanez RG120. I found it decently easy to play, and it sounded good to me, albeit a little tinny. I still had to work to get my hand comfortably around the neck, but less so than on an acoustic. Squiers are good, cheap starter electrics, too. Gibsons have wider necks, but they're higher quality, and I believe that brand also makes acoustic guitars.
Any guitar will make your fingers sore. They'll get calluses and toughen up, though, and it doesn't hurt as much. If you're trying to play Incubus, though, chances are you're gonna hurt your fingers doing all the bending.
I think electrics are much easier to play than acoustics in every way - the strings aren't nearly as thick, the neck is thinner, and the bodies are thinner, too. I always feel overwhelmed holding an acoustic, because it just feels so giant to me.
If your hand size isn't an issue and you want to learn good technique, you might consider acoustic. It's kind of a back-to-basics type thing, and it allows you to learn without having an amp as a distraction.
Your best bet is gonna be going to a guitar store and messing around 'til you find one you can't stop playing with. That's what I did, and I still haven't stopped playing it. =D
Good luck!
-Siren =)

You're going to strengthen your core muscles a lot, but crunches don't get rid of any belly fat. They help tone you if you're doing all the right stuff, though. If you're looking for that kind of result, you're gonna need to add some cardio to your routine. Believe me. I can out-crunch all my of my bodybuilding guyfriends, but I don't have a six-pack because I still have fat covering my awesome muscles. Lol
As for the pushups, yes. Those are good. They work most of your body if you do them right (but you have to have the right form), and planks are great for abs.
But like I said, you're not gonna see yourself shedding body fat unless you kick it up a couple notches and add some bike riding, speedwalking, or running.
I've never been so cut in my life as I was before I hurt my leg and was running 3 miles every day. Granted, 3 miles of running is a little extreme, you'd do fine with running a mile like 3 days a week, as long as you're getting some cardio in. It burns fat, and it'll show those great abs you're shaping.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

We are under obligation as columnists on this site not to give explicit sexual instructions or details, as it is a kid-friendly site.
I suggest you take a look at wikipedia or google "how to give a good handjob," because anyone here who gives instructions can be banned.

I can, however, tell you that either he'll tell you when to stop, or you'll...see...when to stop. Also, I would slow rather than stop. Try to put yourself in his body and imagine what would feel good for you - If you can manage to do the empath thing, you'll go far, and he'll be happy.
Also, you can tell him "I'm a little nervous," or "you might have to help me" and he might enjoy playing teacher. Personally, I hate it, but I know a lot of people that enjoy giving instructions. You could experiment a little and ask him "do you like that?" Just to kind of get a feel for what feels good for him.
Just remember, don't let him pressure you into doing anything you're not comfortable with. Being nervous and being uncomfortable are two very different things - as long as it's something you want to do, you can be nervous. If it's something you don't want to do and you're uncomfortable, that's a bad sign.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

In the future, with weight questions, I'd really appreciate knowing a little more about you - your age, your gender, and (for health questions) your weight. I know you said you forgot, but it would've helped to gauge. Someone who's 300 pounds could easily, healthily, lose 20 pounds in a month. Someone who's almost at their target weight can eat nothing "bad", exercise daily, and maybe lose five pounds over a month.
Just so you know, if you're asking me your question in hopes that I'll give you some fad diet or list of foods and things to do to melt pounds off like butter, you're SOL, my friend.
To answer your end question bluntly, yes, but not in a healthy manner. As in, you'd have to do everything right to malnourish your body to the point that it would basically eat itself in order to lose those 20 pounds.
I'm glad you're aware that not eating is bad, that's a good start. You should also be aware that salads aren't actually good for you unless there's basically no dressing on them, and even if that's the case, there usually isn't much substantial nutrition in there. Just veggies. You need veggies, fruits, starches, and proteins to make a healthy diet. For a healthy lifestyle - and yes, you can lose a lot of weight doing this, I'm living proof - you must, must, MUST exercise.
You don't live near a gym, but you say you walk? Why not try jogging? Or a combination of walking and jogging? I couldn't jog the whole way the first couple of times I tried, and then I got to the point that nothing stopped me, so I started off running three miles a day after hardly running at all, and gave myself a stress fracture. (Bad idea, don't do that...^^)
Anyway.
You can't do pushups because your muscles aren't that strong yet. You can start off at a lighter incline, or do "girl pushups," where instead of balancing on your toes, you're on your knees. It takes a lot of the stress off your core muscles (like abs) because you're not trying to balance AND lift your whole body.
There are a TON of exercises you can do at home without weights. I suggest googling weightless workouts, or workouts without a gym or something similar, and see if you can find some ideas. Or check out www.bodybuilding.com, they might have some things you can work off of.
Your key is gonna be eating small meals every three hours. I'm guessing you're decently young, you can still retrain your metabolism to work faster.
Here's my little story - last year, I was almost 140, anorexic, and in horrible shape. Of course, I have some crazy willpower that's actually more of a fault than an asset, but this is what I did. Cardio. Weights. I adjusted my diet, and I ate every three hours. I dropped 20 pounds pretty fast. Then I gained about five, but it's muscle mass. Now I can wear clothes I had when I was fourteen and look BETTER in them.
You also need to know that you'll gain muscle mass from working out - not big bulky scary muscle mass, because without a gym you're not gonna be lifting too much weight, but lean muscle mass - and that muscle weighs considerably more than fat. So measure by SIZE when you get to that point, not the number on the scale.
I'm gonna stop there before I throw too much more information at you, lol.
Let me know if you have any questions about a specific area of your question or my answer. You can contact me through my column, my site, or my screen name (just make sure you IM me twice or I'll think you're spam!)
-Siren =)

BAD.
Any "diet" that tells you to cut out healthy food is BAD, even if it only lasts two days. You need protein, you need fresh veggies, you need starch, you need complex carbs. Protein helps build muscle and tone, and more veggies than not burn more calories to digest than they have in them (they're GOOD FOR YOU). Complex carbs are to your body what gasoline is to a car. Cars don't drive without gas. Bodies don't function without complex carbs. Liquid diets are bad for you. All they do is make you lose water weight, it won't stay off; it's not a permanent solution. If you want to look a little skinnier for a day, go for it. You'll gain all the "weight" you lose right back the next day.
Juice diet gives you simple carbs, but nothing else. You'll be tired, probably have mood swings, and you'll be hungry all day, no matter how much juice you drink. Fresh juice or no, there's still a ton of sugar in it. Granted, it's fructose and not sucrose, but you still don't want to overwhelm your body with sugar.
Don't do this diet, it'll only disappoint you.
-Siren =)

You need to tell your stepmother about being sexually abused. You don't necessarily need to tell her who did it, but she'll want to know. Stepmother or not, she'll be your best resource. If you're pregnant, she can help you figure out what to do. If you're not, she can help you figure out what to do. Get where I'm coming from? Honesty really is always the best policy - the people you lie to because you're afraid or embarrassed to tell them the truth can often help you much more than those that you're comfortable telling.
Just sit her down and be like "[name], I really need to talk to you, and I really need you to just listen to me for a second and not say anything."
If you start with that, hopefully she'll agree not to speak, and let you say your part first.
After she says "okay, I won't say anything," THEN you can tell her "I was sexually abused five months ago." Or depending on your relationship with her, tell her "[name] sexually abused me five months ago. I was too embarrassed to tell you..." etc.
I hope you can work up the nerve to do this. Good luck, if you like you can let me know what happens. It's up to you.
-Siren =)

It's a stupid diet, don't do it. Cutting carbs out of your diet will cause you to lose weight quickly, yes, but it's not a permanent solution.
I did the South Beach diet, which is very similar to atkins, and I had nightmares, mood swings, I was constantly weak and tired, and used to fight with my boyfriend all the time. It wasn't fun, and it makes it impossible to work out because you burn whatever you do it way too fast to do any good.
Carbs are to your body what gasoline is to cars: fuel. Cars don't drive without any gas (including hybrids), and humans can't function right without carbs. It's okay to do if you want to look skinner for, like, a day, but you can't keep it up.
There really aren't any pros to this diet. It's unhealthy and doesn't work on a long term basis.
If you want to lose weight, cut down on junk food, eat small meals every three hours to retrain and speed up your metabolism, and start an exercise regimen. If you want further help doing any of that stuff, please contact me via my column, my site, my email, or my screen name.
-Siren =)

Take those pictures down right now.

Aspiring to be a skeleton will get you nowhere. I'm 5'4" too. I weigh 125 pounds, and I'm actually pretty damn skinny (Of course, my weight is mostly muscle mass, thanks to a close gym, but when I weighed 105 I was a stick). If I'm skinny and you weigh 22 pounds less than me, your problem isn't your weight, it's your mentality.
Those stick-thin skinny models are extremely unhealthy. Seeing all of your ribs? Yeah, actually not such a good thing. By the way, if anything, you're underweight for your height. Your ideal weight at 5'4" is 120. Just throwin' that out there.
The problem you're describing is called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). It's actually common among like, everyone nowadays. I had it for awhile, too. Basically, it's where you look in the mirror and see something that's not really there, or that isn't very noticeable. It's kind of the effect of seeing a pimple that, to you, looks like it's the size of your fist, when it's really just a tiny dot.
As far as your mother, you just need to take a deep breath, sit her down, and explain to her what you just told us. You can even throw in the BDD thing. The word "disorder" might make her cave. If you really want to talk to someone, kudos. Most people don't have the balls to admit that they have a problem, let alone seek help for it. The fact that you've recognized that something is wrong puts you a step ahead of most of the nation and a step closer to feeling better about yourself.
BDD sucks bigtime, but you can beat it if you stop beating yourself up. One cute trick I did at my parents' house is to put on some bright red lipstick and kiss your mirror somewhere out of the way. When you see the kiss mark, you'll remind yourself that you're beautiful, you're a great girl, and that you're allowed to love your body.
If you don't work out much and you want to start doing some of that, speedwalking around your neighborhood, or biking are both great places to start. Cardio is great for toning, and it makes you feel good, too.
In the meantime, if you need someone to talk to, or vent to, feel free to IM me - my sn's SirenCytherea.
Chin up. You're gorgeous.
-Siren =)

Yes.
Muscle weighs significantly more than fat. If you've gotten stronger, chances are you have more muscle mass than you did. Lean muscle that girls get is more compact than fat, too, so you're probably the same size if not smaller. Take your measurements, and find out.
I'm the same way. I'm 5'4". I used to weigh 105, but the clothes I wore then fit me better now, and I weigh between 120 and 125. Of course, now I can also do 75 real pushups, and sprint at 12 mph.
See what I mean?
That's why people say "weight is just a number." You can't measure your size by your weight most of the time, and yes you could have easily gained ten pounds of muscle weight.
You're fine.
-Siren =)

Seriousy, rubbing alcohol. Just a couple of cotton balls or a rag dipped in it, soak the spot for awhile and then start scrubbing it.
I figured that one out after having a sharpie fight with my projector slides and my friend. As far as I can tell, rubbing alcohol gets sharpie off of everything. Carpet, window, wall, clothes, skin...haven't tested it on hair, but yeah. Lol
It's the cheapest way to fix the issue, and the best way I think.
Hope this helps you out.
Otherwise, use something like Oxyclean, and follow directions to presoak.
-Siren =)

Generally, unless it has a weird (bad) smell, brownish or pinkish discharge means you're probably gonna get your period soon, if that isn't already the start of it. Mine usually start without much warning, it's really heavy for the first day or two with massive PMS problems, and then I have a really light period the next few days. You'll figure out your cycle soon.
So, basically, if you have no weird pain or odor, you're fine.
If you have any other random questions, you should check out my site, www.asksiren.com. My friend just helped me turn it into an advice site of my own (just me, though, so if you read my column and like the way I advise, feel free to ask me anything).
Keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.
-Siren =)

You wanna know the best pickup line/opener out there?
"Hi."
Do you bump into him in the halls? Is he in one of your classes? Your best bet is going to be opening up the lines of communication. Strike up a conversation. Talk about your class together if you have one. Talk about something he's wearing - "Where'd you get that shirt?" "That's a cool bracelet." Etc. Be observant. Say SOMETHING, make sure it isn't something he can respond to with "yes" or "no".
You can't know if you want to be with him or not unless you talk to him. Unless, of course, you're just talking about being with him in a physical sense in which case I can't help you without more details, and might not be able to help you anyway - one night stands aren't my thing.
If you know him a little and you two have hung out in the past, invite him out to do something with you and a couple of friends. "Hey, me and a couple of my friends are going to the waterpark on Friday, you wanna come?" "Me and my friends are going to [coffeeshop]. You should come!"
What kind of relationship do you two have? You haven't given me too many details, here. If you want more help, you gotta meet me halfway here. I'm not psychic, and neither is he - if you want to get to know him better, talk.
Keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.
-Siren =)

You can control the situation, that's what you can do. There's no excuse for "ending up drunk" unless you have absolutely no self-control, or the punch was spiked and you didn't know. There is no reason you can't say "No, I'd rather not drink," or "No thanks, I'm just gonna have fun at the carnival," or even "Hey, I'm only 13 (14?). It's illegal, I don't wanna risk getting in trouble."
There's no way to fix drunkenness except time. Bread does not "work." The only thing it does is act as a buffer to prevent the alcohol from irritating your stomach and making you sick. Alcohol IS a form of poison. When you drink, the poison that makes you all goofy goes into your bloodstream, it doesn't sit in your stomach to be soaked up by a loaf of bread or anything similar. Hence "blood alcohol level."
If you do "wind up drunk," if your parents ask you, you tell them the truth. Lying to your parents may seem like a good idea at the time, but if you have the guts to tell them the truth they'll respect you for doing it. Trust me. I've tried both ends of the spectrum. Your parents will be angrier about the fact that you lied to them than the fact that you drank. If you show them you have the presence of mind to know that you did something wrong, but that you did it in moderation, they'll believe you have self control and they'll be able to trust you. Speaking from experience here. My parents didn't like me going to parties at fourteen at first, but when nothing bad happened, I was never hungover the next day, and my parents didn't have to deal with any of the problems that can come with drinking, they realized I had a brain, and good judgment.
So, show your parents that they didn't raise an idiot. Have one or two drinks if you really must, and stop at that.
Keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.
-Siren =)

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

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