about

My mission on Advicenators is to be honest. People lie when they answer because they want to be rated high, but I think people ask strangers on Advicenators things because they want an honest answer.
My alias is Farren, and I'm in 9th grade. I think I'm mature for my age, but that could just be self-dilusion. I believe that everyone is in some way self-dilusional. So yeah, ask me a question if you want.

advice

alright this is X Lissa X but i need advice... since FOREVER like a year ive been still in love with my ex and i was getting over it but i still cant and i just love him sooo much and miss him and im so sad all the time even though i see a counselor and take zoloft for depression! what do i do? i wanna be with him so bad, he completes me...omg im sooo confused i cant handle it. i havent cried for so long since ive been on these pills but now i just wanna and i know im just going to go and cry myself to sleep. someone please help me n tell me what to do. i just love him like crazy..is sumfin messed up w/ me? grrr just help me out aiight. thankz a lot.

Does he still have feelings for you? Could be you guys ended it too abruptly when there was still feelings.
I think you should talk to him about it, maybe you guys never achieved closure.
Exploring the other fish in the sea might help, look for another guy to possibly start a new relationship with to forget about the old one.
I don't think you're messed up, your just afflicted by love. I don't really know what it's like to care about a guy like you care about your ex, so my advice might not be very good.
Oh well, I tried. I'll pray for you hun.
-Farren

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okay i went out with this one boy we'll call landon, and he was sooo sweet.but i felt so insecure about myself,that i borke up w/ him.well he knows i like him know but my friend told him to call me if he still liked me,and he hasn't.what do u think is going on?!?!?like can u help?

Maybe he was hurt by you the first time you went out and now he's apprehensive about getting back into the relationship.
Perhaps explaining why you broke up with him before would help, and telling him you've changed. Just be honest with the kid. If he likes you, you'll find out by talking to him.
-Farren

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hi. im 15 and my bro is 17 and he has alot of hot friends that are always at my house... and they are OBSESSED w/ me... there always like touching me and telling me how hott i am and like hey sexy and uh more feeling.. lol. im not going to lie.. i like it.. what girl wouldnt like attention from hotties.. but its gets annoying.. and sometimes its uncomfortable.
should i do anything

I don't think you should flirt with your brother's friends. I have 2 brothers, and I know not to flirt with their friends because it would be uncomfortable for them.
Besides, they are probably just horny guys (male sexual peak=18) who just want to touch you as much as they can. It doesn't send out a very good message if you flirt back and let them know you like it.
It's okay to like it, but us girls need to have some self-control, or else there will be none, because guys sure as hell have none.
-Farren

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My friend katie and lisa and this other girl carly, were waiting after practice for their rides and carly had Katies cell phone and she threw it on lisa to get her to pay attention. Since Lisa wasn't paying attention, she didn't catch it, so it bounced off her stomach and hit the ground and it kinda broke, some pieces came off and the front is all messed up. Carly acted liek it was nothing, and didn't really apologize. My questions are:
1. Do you think Carly should pay a small price to get it fixed or for consulation? Or have her apologize.
2. If so, how should katie approach her and ask for either money or an apology?

Thanks

If she doesn't care that's showing disrespect to Katie. If she is a good friend, she should offer to pay for it or -at least- give an apology.
If Katie just puts up with this behavior it sends out a weak message.
I used to have an MP3 player and I lent it to a friend who then got it confiscated in school, and she didn't care. I kept on telling her she needed to get it back, but she kept telling me, "I'm really not feeling good." or some other excuse. I lied to my parents about it because I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. It took her so long that the security guard lost it, but now I think she got it back and lied to me and just used me. I regret that so much, and I handled the situation horribly.
Never let anyone walk on you or your friends!
-Farren

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I just heard of a friend that if you cut your pubic hairs it heightens the chance of getting lice down there. This has shocked me because I myself cut them because of their length, and I am getting concerned about this. I was wondering if anyone knew any information about this, or any good sites where I could find out some information. Im totally flippin out about this lol. I'm a 17 year old male by the way. Any advice would be good. Thanx :-)

This sounds like a tall tale. Lice are creatures that you get when you come into contact with them. They won't appear out of no where because you don't have much hair. I'm not a doctor or anything, but I think you'd be more likely to get it -without- shaving.
Although, who knows, there -may- be some truth in it, I'd look it up.
-Farren

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Well I like this guy lets call him "Shawn", well we have all the same classes except one and well I havent talked to him ever! Please tell me someways to get him to notice me a little more than the other girls in class? (like what do you guys like in girls and such)

Thanks

Find something you have in common (music, or a show) with him and strike up a conversation. That way you guys can start new conversations updating yourselves on the matter (a new song came out, there's going to be a Friends Spinoff).
Just wait for the right opportunity to attack, love and war it's all the same, you need to plot your attack and use strategy. If he's someone you'd like to be with, you'll find out soon enough.
-Farren

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i have been with a girl for the last 18 months and she cheated on me and got with another guy, and on out year and a half anniversary she told him she loved him after knowing him for a week. can she love him? and he dumped her and said he doesnt like her anymore, and i know we cant get back together but sometimes she says i love you and is it wrong for me to say it back, i mean i resent her for cheating on me and breaking our trust and relationship but i love her, help please

I think if you don't want to get back with her you shouldn't give her any reason to think you will. You shouldn't let her think she can use you. I think you can still tell her you love her, and be honest with her.
It's really messed up what she did to you. Think real hard about how you feel for her overall, maybe you think you love her, but you really don't.
You seem like a nice guy, and she probably doesn't deserve you after what she did. You can't let her think she can just cheat on you and you will always be there for her after it.
-Farren
P.S. This is coming from a 14 (month 'til 15) year old. Probably not very valid. I -think- I'm mature for my age, but that's probably just self-dilusion.

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ok well latly i have been remembering times when i was younger that i did not like at all. my family would take pictures of me when i was in the bathtub.(i was about 10 or so at the time) and i recall one time when my grandmother was scratching my back but went below my pants line and i freaked out,ran away and cryed. my mom said i was making to big of a deal out of it. again when i was about 9, my mom would suggest that i sleep topless in the summer if i got hot. i always thought that was strange. plus my family(including aunts and grandparents) spanked my butt for no reason at all. just when they passed me they would. i dont like thinking that they did that to me, but i was younger at the time and i didnt know any better because i though a lot of famlies were like that. well now i know that they're not and theres also a lot of other problems going on in my house(not sexualy). but is there something i can do about it now that im older and know it was wrong...(is it wrong?) or if i should just forget about it because its passes. oh and i have always felt that i would get raped before im 18...please help me if you can...

I feel so sorry for you. Stuff like this can leave emotional scars for life.
I think that maybe if your family is still like this, or harmfully (mentally or physically) disfunctional is some other way you should get a restraining order, tell the police or something. If they have changed and you can bare it, wait until your old enough and move out and leave the painful memories behind.
I will pray for you hun. Best wishes.
-Farren

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This might be a little long--but I need help so please read it..Thanks!

Well we just got to pick where we sit for lunch and we have to sit there all year. There's 6 other girls at my table, and like 3 are my good friends. Two of the other girls (besides my friends) that sit there are kind of shy, but nice, and I still talk to them. But the last girl..she is SO annoying. She just sat there when we chose tables, and some of the girls like her so they said 'okay' to her. Well we sit where everybody walks by us when they get their lunch and the girl I don't like is always yelling "HI..HI...HI!" to everybody, and it gets so annoying. Then she tries to take food from people when they are walking with their trays. If the people she says 'hi' to don't answer her or if they dont give her food, she slaps them. I mean, she's SO rude to everyone. I tried to tell her that it's not nice to slap people and try to take people's food..because it IS their lunch..THEY bought. She just tells me to shut up when I say something to her. I'm not gonna tell a teacher either because it's not a big deal. She just needs to learn manners and I don't know what to do. She's driving me crazy!! She thinks she's really cool, too, but not a lot of people like her. She has SUCH a big mouth! I just don't know how to deal with her---please help! thanks so much..

You should ignore her, it's the best solution.
Also, don't gossip about her, this can cause more problems. There is a huge problem with us adolescents and gossiping. It's best just not to talk negatively about anyone, it can usually only make things worse. Of course, we all slip sometimes, but yeah, you should try to influence her for the better by example.
One thing you shouldn't do is lecture her though. People hate being lectured by other people their same age (and frankly, sometimes they should). You can't force someone to act a certain way.
Oh well, we all have to deal with this kind of stuff, wish we didn't...
Hope I helped, and I hope you have the strength to bear that situation.
-Farren

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1st of all im 17/f...me and a bunch of friends are all going out to dinner and to the movies on halloween and were all gonna dress up and i dont kno what to be... i wanna be something good not like a witch or nething but i dont wannahave some big costume and i wanna still look cute but i dont kno what to be any ideas?

Yeah, I hafta go with playboy bunnie or a fairy, fairies are really pretty ^_^
I'm gonna be a pirate girl, a sexy pirate girl xD Lol. Don't steal my costume! =P I have a pirate fetish (

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ok... well theres this boy named dave. and he likes me. everyday in school he flirts with me and i flirt back nothing harmful. but today when he asked me about homecoming i told him i was going with some friends. he wanted me to be his date but didnt state that. well he asked me if i liked him b4 and i said jus as a friend and ijust got out of a relationship that im still upset about and im not over my ex nor do i want to be. so with telling him i jus want to be friends and that im not ready for anything and that maybe ill see him at homecoming... was it the right way to handle it? i felt bad bc i dont like to hurt ppls feelings and he is nice and everything.. but im not into him.. did i handle it ok?

I think you handled his questions perfectly. You seemed to be considerate of his feelings and I applaud you for it.
Although I really dislike the fact that you sort of led him on (not that I dislike you, just what you did). You shouldn't flirt back if you don't like him. The guy could get the wrong idea. It's like setting him up for failure.
So many girls do this, and I really don't understand why.
Didn't mean to be offensive, just trying to be honest.
-Farren

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hi im 13 and this may sound really dumb, but there is this girl i really like. she calls me alot. i like that. she is attractive, not by that much but still i like the whole thing, only one problem.......my friends hate her, she is a year older than i but she is new (so she doesnt really know anyone else) i get embarrased wen she calls around my friends and make up lies to them about how i feel. help.

Tell your friends the truth. You should never have to lie to your friends. I see this happen all to often in my high school.
Maybe invite her to hang out with your friends, and they might change their opinions.
I think you should go for it. She seems like a cool girl. Although, make sure she isn't toying with you. There is this girl I know in one of my classes, and guys always hit on her, and she leads them on and then talks bad about them after they leave (she's a good person, she just doesn't realize what she's doing, some people just need time to mature). So yeah, if she isn't an attention whore, I think you'll be fine together ^_^
-Farren

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ok well theres this guy that im like friends with i guess and he likes me but i dont like him like that and he calls me EVERY day and more than once too and its starting to make me not want to answer the phone bc its most likely him and i dont want to hurt his feelings but i dont really like talking to guys that much on the phone unless we have something to talk about and me and him usually dont have anything to talk about so then ill try to get off the phone after like 30 minutes and he gets mad at me and tells me i always do this to him. i dont know what to do! please help me! -kayla

Normally, I would say just be normal when girls talk about guys who like them who they don't like, but this one's a little obsessive, no?
You have to be upfront, but not hurtful. Try to tell him casually that you want to take it down a notch.
I have a guy friend like this too, except he doesn't like me, he's just like that. When I don't pay attention he gets mad too. Don't think nearly as much as this guy, though.
-Farren

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Ok there is this guy right that goes to a different school. I mean i have only seen him once but right when i met him we hit it off at least i think we have? hmm well n e ways are different school relationships bad i mean i have alot of friends that go to his skool and one of his friends is mi best friend now we talk on the internet and stuff and lk we try and set up times to see each other but something gets in the way wat should i do?

Try going out unnofficially for a while, like as friends. If he can make time for you as a friend, he will probably be able to make time for you as a girlfriend. Also, have your best friend make sure he isn't cheating on you =O Some guys seem nice, but they aren't, I've seen this happen to too many of my good friends >.>
-Farren

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I know this sounds completely messed up, and might gross u out. but i need help. sometimes when im bored, ill just start scratching my head to the point where it bleeds and forms scabs (very little ones!) and now i cant help but pick at them and scratch them. theres no reason i do it, its just a realllllllly weird habit. i dont know whats wrong with me?! any tips on how i can make it stop?

Visit a dermatologist. Ask for professional help. Unless of course we have a nice dermatologist-advice-person at this site ^_^
We all have our idiosyncracies, don't worry, you're not alone. That used to happen with my legs, turned out they were too dry.
-Farren

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hi. well all of a sudden my life has been bad i mean im in 7th grade and when it started everything was going great! but now its like everything is goin down the drain.. i mean all the guys just think of me of "acasia" not anything else i wanna be better then i am now. like i have a great body i admit but like i was going to see my friend zack and his friends were over there so i was like wassup zack? and he was like nuthin.. so then i was like okay.. and i walked to my friends house. so he told me the other day that this guy that i had a great body but an ugly face.. i mean that really got me mad i started to cry when i got home because i havnt had a boyfriend in a year and i have ALOT of friends but for somereason everything is just going away... what does all this mean???

Ah, the 7th grade year. I'm currently in 9th. Your post brings back memories xD
6th and 7th were my most awkward years. I went through so many things. Most of all, I wanted a guy to hug and kiss and tell all of my secrets to and blah blah, ect. I became a little desperate. I went out with the cutest guy in my class, because he was there and the cutest. I would later find this was a very big mistake. It turned out I really didn't like him, we broke up after like a week or so, we became friends though.
In 6th-7th I acted very unlike myself, I memorized so many hip hop songs because my friends liked that music, and I wanted to fit in (when I was a rocker, inside anyways). I think it's just a phase we all go through.
Just remember what's really important, besides some people are the most attractive in their youth/adolescent years, while some are like the ugly duckling who grew into a swan. Besides, looks don't matter too much.
The only way looks matter is if you yourself find anything but hot in a mate unacceptable. I hate it when people (mostly guys) cry about people not liking them because of the way they look when they only go after super beautiful people.
I think you just have a lot to learn, as we all do. ^_^ You'll be fine hun. I promise =3
-Farren

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Hey, in 7th grade I met this girl who just came to our school from private school and she was totally a good girl. We got kinda close but in high school everything changed. Shes snotty, and stuck up. She is not my friend at all(thats a good thing!). Whenever I say something she rolls her eyes or says something really stupid. She makes me so mad! So were sophmores now, and lucky for me we have all classes together. I dont want to take her crap anymore, but when I have a chance to say something..my mind goes blank and I dont know what to say! I'm not the type of person whos a b word to people, so yeah. But what can I say to her thats nice but gives her the message that she needs to shut up, and get a life. haha thanks!!

First off, eggyolkenema I thank you for many a laugh (and hope some of your posts were meant to be funny and not serious xD ).
If she really doesn't disrupt your life too much, leave her alone and ignore her. If she does, go with what eggyolkenema said. xD

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ok i like this guy... ALOT! but there seems to be this little rat face bitch always in my way. and she keeps flirting with him. and i know she is doing it to piss me off. but i dont know what i should do?

Okay, this is nothing personal, but some girls I know talk trash about girls who are prettier than them or get more guys attention without even realizing it. Are you sure this isn't you misinterpreting her? I don't think you should "fight" for him persay, if he likes you he will make the decision. But if he's the type of guy who will go for whoever puts out the most, then you don't really want him, do you?
Just be cool and act like yourself, if she's like you say she is, then if he chooses her you probably shouldn't want him anyway.
That's just my opinion, and I don't mean to offend you. It's just that since I don't actually know you, I can't judge your character or make any assumptions.
-Farren

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I'm awkward and shy. I don't know how to talk to girls or tell whether or not girls like me. I'm in my senior year of high school, and i'm turning 17 on 10/10. so i realize this is kinda pathetic. I'm not very funny or spontaneous either. How do i flirt/be funny so girls will like me? I am being myself 24/7, and that isn't really working.

Personally, if I see a brooding lonely guy I'm instantly attracted. Everyone has their own type of person they like. Just because the majority of women are hard to interact with doesn't mean there isn't a down-to-earth girl out there for you. Besides, do you really want a girl who's like every other girl out there?
I think you should be yourself, and when you see a chance to talk to someone you may really be interested in, go for it! You may have a chance or fate meeting with someone, and you can't let it slip away!
I think you'll be fine ^_^ just gotta hold out for Mrs.Right. I love nervous guys =3 but I'm a strange girl, to say the least.
-Farren

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Okay well met this guy on the internet .. and we've been talking for about a year now . and i really think im in love with him ..and we talk about our fellings for eachother.. and he feels the same things for me as i do him ..He has never saw my pic befor .. bur he said it dosent matter if im Ugly or..pretty .. he said all that matters .. is the way he feels .. and he said ..that it WOULD NOT CHANGE anything if i was ugly .. well what i want to kno is .. if i should just cut it off with him because i kno were never going to meet i mean we might .. he lives in flordia and i go there every summer but ..i dont want my feeling for him to get any stronger then what they already are for him .. what should i do ?

15-Taylor-Gender:Female

Well, he if really kept on reiterating the fact that his feelings wouldn't change if you were ugly, it may be a sign of desperation (either desperate to be with -anyone- or desperate to get you to show your picture). I'm not trying to be mean, it's just human nature.
This also means he may himself be ugly, or (as the others have said) lying about his age.
I would be extremely careful. There is a very low chance he is sincere. You shouldn't give him your real name.
I would become friends with him, and I wouldn't see him. Also, if you don't intend on growing the relationship anyway, you should be considerate of his feelings and end it so he can move on in his life.
Hope I helped.
-Farren

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