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i am clueless on how to have a good conversation with people other than friends and closer family, (mostly guys). i pause a lot, and usually use "fill in" words like um and like. i dont know what to say. i feel akward when i have nothing to say. everyone says to talk about things that we have in common like maybe sports ot classes, but i feel unconfortable saying things like that, depending on who im with. i dont know what to do.

I guess my best advice to you is be more open, make the person you are talking to, smile. Dont talk about yourself, ask them about theirself, or bring up something nice about them. People remember the way you make them feel when you talk to them. If you can make them laugh or smile, or talk about them. And not all about yourself, they remember that :]

Talk about things you are comfortable talking about. Good luck!

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I am getting married in three months and I really love my fiance. I'm a model and we met at a fashion shoot, his brother was the photographer. We were going out for A year before he proposed and everything is perfect bewtween us. We also have a lot in common,like we both went to yale. But here's the thing, he grew up in England's High Society,he's the heir to the family fortune and he's dated heiresses and women a lot richer than me and I guess I feel like he can do better or I don't deserve him. I feel inferior to him in some ways, and I can't shake that feeling. I keep thinking "Why is he marrying me? or What makes me different than all the other girls he's been with?" He was a player before he met me, I'm the first girl he commited himself to and I dont even know why! He's starting to notice a change in my behavior. He asks me "Why are you being so distant or Baby, what's wrong" and I don't know what to say. He thinks he did something wrong. Maybe i'm just nervous. I mean i'm getting married! But I need advice I don't know what to do. Should I marry him.

I can tell you something right now,
talk to him - tell him exactly what you wrote here, about how you dont know why he chose you, and how you feel inferior. He will understand, and you will get your answer :] Its good he's turning a new leaf with you, and if you love him, the choice is only for your heart to make.
Just remember communication is the key in a healthy loving relationship.

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i have no idea what the difference bettween a nationality and ethnictiy is

my parents are both persian, they were born in iran
and i was born in the usa

so my nationality is american
and my ethnicity is persian.
^ is that correct?

Yes nationality is your status of where you were born.

& and ethnicity is what you are, your backgrounds.

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13/f

Let's call this guy "Bo"

So Bo and I have a few classes in school together... i've told my friend that I have a crush on Bo. and she said that she would find out if Bo had a crush on me or not... truth is that she never found out.
My friend looks at him, and then tells me if he's looking at me or not. So my point is that He looks at me a lot... during lunch, through the hallways, during classes.
SOOO???? could this mean he likes me?? He acts different around me. We're both shy, so we've never have said anything to each other.
DOES HE LIKE ME?

NO one can give you a straight answer.
We cant magically read his mind,
the only way to find out, is to ask him.
Have a friend do it, or do it yourself!

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so okay, i cut. and well i dont see anything wrong with that. i mean its not like its that serious. its just like getting a tattoo. or getting a peircing so why is it so "bad". people always say dont do it blah blah blah. its not hurting them so why should they care? i just dont get why its like considered so "bad" doing drugs and drinking is a wholee lot worse. so does anyone know why people think its so bad? any other opinions?

People say dont do it,
because its self mutilation.
You are hurting yourself on perpose..
well cutting can be addicting,
the more you do it, sometimes the more intense you will cut, the deeper, it gets extreamely dangerous and its unhealthy.
Emotionally and physcially,
its not healthy to get your feelings out by pain, you know? People just care about you and they dont want you to hurt yourself.
People have died from cutting.
It is possible.
Just remember people tell you not to because they care.

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ok. my mom made me go to see a therapist when i was about 9 or 10, and he diagnosed me with depression. ever since them i have been going to a counseler every other week. ive been on an anti-depressant for maybe 4 years now, and nothing has changed. im always depressed and i feel hopeless. i really just want to die so i dont have to deal with all this crap, but i would NEVEREVER kill myself. i just wouldnt be able to do it. i just cant handle the pain and sadness anymore. please help me! i know there is nothing that will fix this, but i need suggestions. i really want to stop hating my life!!

I have friends who struggle with depression.
Sometimes they tell me it just feels like they are going through the motions, and that they are sick of it. Dont give up though. I know a lot of them feel like they are in a hole, and that its completely dark and they think they cant go out since they've been so sad for so long. But thats not true, I cant really give you anything specefic to help you, but I can tell you that prayer helps. People who are there for you, who support you, that helps too. Getting out and doing something fun? Or atleast trying to have fun, or just talking to someone, being personal with a best friend, or something you are really close with and that you can confide in.
Dont give up on life, I hope you live a full beautiful life.

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Ok Take Me Serious..I May Sound Selfish But I Dont Care..
Im relaly considering giving up life, ive nearly died so many times. Someone wants me dead..
My ex tried to kill me..
Everyone walks over me..Hurts me once comes back for more and hruts me again
I cant handle life any longer Its killing slowly id rather get it over and done with :'(

Dont give up on your beautiful life!
Absolutely not.
I'm so sorry people are being so horrible to you. Dont let what they are doing, make you seem like your life isnt worth living. Because it is, sometimes it has to get worse before it can get better. Stand up for yourself, DO NOT let people walk all over you! You are a human being and people love you, and people care for you, you matter. You really do. I know someone thinks about you before they go to bed at night. Pray if you need help too. God works wonders.
Just dont give up! If you need someone to talk to, feel free to IM me @ KaylehMae on aim, if you dont have aim, and you'd still like to talk to me, check out the other ways you can contact me on my column.

But really, you are worth something. You were put on this earth for a reason, dont give up.

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Hey Kayla,

Thanks for adding me to your friends list! Just love your advice column, keep up the good work!

sexy_rexy (Amy)

:]

awhh thanks ! i just looked at yours, absolutely amazing!

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13/f

Okay, so last Monday, [of this week], we started swimming in Gym. That Sunday before, I went for my physical at the doctors and found out that I had bursitis in my knees. The bursitis was happening for 2 weeks previously. My knees would get stiff and I would have to twist them to get them back to normal. I felt completely normal before we started swimming. When we came out of the pool, I was clutching my stomach in the locker room and ran to the bathroom and threw up. My PE teacher explained that that had happened to 3 girls in the previous hours and that there was flu going around. The day after, I felt okay-ish but I stayed home anyways. I took some Tylenol. I then developed a cold and had a fever. I would get soooo cold and would have to put on like a hoodie and some pants and a robe. Basically, I have the chills. That has been happening ever since Tuesday/Wednesday-ish. I took my temperature on Thursday and it came up with 102.7 degrees. I went to school on Friday because I felt much, MUCH better. My voice was a little cracked and I had a runny nose, but I was pretty much okay. BTW, throughout this I've been taking Motrin [for my knees], Tylenol, and Nyquil [before I went to bed]. I've been having a very bad headache, you know the ones where you like just slightly shake your head and it feels really bad. On Thursday and Friday, it was at its worst. I've been getting enough sleep and drinking milk in the morning and sometimes granola bars, but I don't get a chance to eat breakfast in the morning. I sometimes take showers in the morning when I can't at night, or I just wake up really late.

As of now, Saturday, I have a 101.6 degree temperature. I have a runny nose and my throat is a sore when I swallow. My ears have a lot of fluid in them and they've been hurting.

Now, could it be possibly that I have tonsillitis?

The symptoms of tons. are:
Find that it hurts to swallow. If the pain is intense, the child may stop swallowing saliva and start to drool.

Complain of an earache

Have a fever of 101 degrees Fahrenheit or higher.

Complain of a headache.

Complain of a stomachache (this is quite common).

Complain of general aches and pains, loss of appetite and may vomit.

Have bad smelling breath.

Could that be it? I match all of the symptoms.

Thank you so much for your help.

Well.. just be extreamley careful.
You may very wellc ould have that, have you seen a doctor yet? Its best that you go there right away! Because flu is going around, and mono, AND strep. And they can be caught by just coughing =/ Or maybe coxsakie virus? It starts out feeling like the flu, having chills.. I doubt it. But I had that, and it was horrible, you get blisetery spots sometimes. But most people get that when they are little or they just get it and they fight it off and have no symptoms. But I suggest going to maybe a prime care? Or the doctors asap! Feel better!

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this boy
he has a girlfriend [ shes a complete weirdo]
me and him used to be like really good friends
and he used to call me and IM me and hangout with me all the time [so i thought he liked me].
People asked him and he like kinda denied it.
Now he absolutely hates me[becuase of rumors spread about us] , he wont talk to me and sometimes he looks at me but its just becuase we both know we are both doing it.
I cant talk to him about it, I love him though.
He's in my dreams everynight and I cant stop liking him.
I need help please!
sorry this was so long

Aw sweetheart, I'm sorry about this.
I hate to say it though, there is not a lot you can do. If he cares about you he will ignore the romors, try sending him a letter, or an email, explaining it. Tell him how you feel about him. Its better to have tried than to live the rest of your life wondering you know? I'm sorry your heart is hurting :( its really a horrible feeling. But remember why like him, if he treats you horrible, I mean, you know the way he is treating you right now isnt very fair. Just keep that in mind.

Hope things get better hun!

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HI,

has anyone seen the video clip for "The Saints Are Coming" By U2 and Green Day??? Can someone tell me what this song is about in relation to the video clip.

Thanks very much

Its about hurricane katrina,
and how we are coming to help them,
I went to New Orleans to house gut and distrubute food and do what I could.
It was horrible, all their houses that were damaged and some that were completely ruined.

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Ok so, me and my friend today at fine arts, we were listening to music and looking at a pic of 5th grade and our old teachers, and we started crying cuz we missed it so much and all the memories. What can we do to stop crying and thinking about 5th grade??


pleaasee good answers!

Its in the past, I dont know what grade you are in now. But you still have the memorys, focus on the good memorys not the bad, and start having fun with where you are in life right now. You cant live in the past, live now and live life to the fullest.

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So today I had a really unlucky day...everything that could go wrong went wrong. I even didn't feel good today. I still have the migrain i had an hour ago. Anyways At the very end of the schoolday I took my phone out to text my boyfriend when I was done i put my phone in my pocket. When I was on the bus with my boyfriend I was about to call my mom and it figures my phone wasn't in my pocket so it must have fallen out. I called my mom on his house phone and told her and she got really pissed. She was talking so negativly to me about it saying i will never see it again. How does she know? Then she was telling me that i don't care about anything and I don't take care of my stuff... She was basically telling me its all my fault. Is it my fault for it falling out of my pocket? Then when I got off the phone she calls right back and tells me i shouldn't be with my boyfrined and that we need time apart. Now what does he have to do with this? She made my day much worst and made me feel like total crap. I can never confront her because she gets even more mad. She just loves pulling those guilt trips. I'm just so upset right now.

Sweetie, I'm so sorry!
I know what those days feel like.
Just remember one thing, it WILL get better.
Your mom will sooner or later become sane again, she's probably just had a bad day too, just like you, but shes taking it out on you. I think if you apologize for losing your phone, even though its not your fault, tell her your mom you are sorry you really didnt mean to ,then maybe she will be calmer about the whole situation. Tell her it really hurts your feelings about what she said to you, especially her talking negatively about you. Wait a little though for her to calm down, communication is key though.


Good luck :]

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so my boyfriend of 8 1/2 months frequently makes plans with me, and then blows me off without so much as a call. and were really good besides that one thing. and hes said in the past when we fought about it and broke up that he knows he fucked up. but he did it again last weekend. so i confronted him on it and his reply was :

"you get so pissed off when some little thing doesnt go your way you might want to get use to it cuz its gunna happen all your life your the only person i know that doesnt accept it"


im so mad at him i dont even know what to do. were fighting, not talking, and he's avoiding me. i dont wanna lose him. ive liked him for so long. ive loved him the whole tim ei was with him. but he doenst always do the most resposible things. and he hurt my feelings. im not gettin pissed off over nothing, am i? he repeatedly does it. its not me over reacting, its me wantin a common courtsey he knows id give him! i dont know what i should do, or how to handle this. any suggestions

You know what in my best opinion,
I'd just break up and stay broken up.
He sounds like one of those people, where they think its never their fault. Dont worry about what he says, because if you noticed he wrote "You get so pissed off when some little thing" he said little thing, he didnt specificly say anything, so he probably doesnt have anything to say.

If he does something over and over again that hurts your feelings and he doesnt learn from it. He's not worth waiting for him to learn, because you cant make him see what hes doing wrong you know? He's not worth your time. And you arent being angry over nothing.

I would tell him one last time everything you feel, and how you think its rude how he points of whats wrong with you, (what you put in quotations of there of what he said, mention that to him) and that you cant stand it when he blows plans because its rude.

Good luck hun, if you need anymore help feel free to send it to my inbox!

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ok, how do i lose weight without my family noticing that im trying to shed a few pounds?

Well usually its good to inform your family that you are trying to lose a few pounds, just so they dont worry.
But just make your portions smaller, but EAT healthy! And exercise, you have to combine both of those together to lose weight and be healthy!

:]

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i don't want to hear any more complaints. how can i just convince my mother that he's a great guy????????????????

Exactly I agree with younggrandma below,
You cant convince your mom, she has to see for herself. But let me tell you, mothers usually have very good instincts we just dont want to see it, because we are stubborn by nature about that type of thing.
Ask her why she complains about him, and what exactly it is that she cant stand about him.
Listen to what she says, she may know something about him that you dont know! :]

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im at a really confusing stage of life right now. i gave up my best friend for my boyfriend. now i cant see my boyfriend for a month because he is grounded. what do i do? i cant have either of the people i love most in the world. i feel like heck, and i think i made the worst decision in the world, even though i truly love my boyfriend more than my friend.

If you've ever heard the expression
"Chicks before dicks"
okay that is kind of HARSH.
But boyfriends arent usually forever,
especially in highschool, a lot of people are just blinded by what they call "love" so they dont see that they arent goign to marry this person despite how much they love them, or how much they care. They will end up going to two different colleges most likely. Meeting new people, and having new challenges to face.
You know?
Try getting your best friend back, apologize, and tell her that you were wrong, and you shoudlnt have had to choose between both of you, theres got to be some happy medium, where you both can get along and have enough time for you and your bestfriend and your boyfriend. You know?

I hope things go well.

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Hey there,
I hate the fact that the only place I have for comfort is the net, lol! I am afraid to tell anyone else! I am a 21 year old gay guy and my bf is 18, we have been dating for 8 monthes now and have had a mass of high and lows.

He has the worst temper and shouts at me for the silliest things, and threatens me with breaking up, killing himself,not loving me, hating me when we argue.

Last nite we got into an argument, things got heated, and he pushed me, so I decided to walk away to let him calm down, then he came runing up behind me and stuck his fingers into my arms, it was the most hurtful thing! I tried tyo walk away and he wouldnt let me, so I end up beatinghim upo basically, in self defence, I wasnt gonna be shouted at and physically hurt for no reason! Again I tried to walk away and he grabbedme, wouldnt let me go, my arm wasin agony, and he was screaming at me in the middle of town, so I turned round punched him a few times, and kicked him when he was on the ground. He was scaring me, I am not a violent person, but he was hurting me and wouldnt let me go.

Then he screamed "I AM GONNA KILL MYSELF!!!!"

After I cooled down, regardless of what he did to me, I went back to him, he spat in myface and started beating me up, to which I didnt do anything back, then started screaming he was sorry for hurting me before!

What am I meant to do? Was I wrong in defending myself? How canlove be like this? Idont wanna leave him, but how can things get sorted?

Okay first of all sweetheart,
you are twentyone, you are older then him.
Not that, thats a BIG issue, but it sounds like hes being really imature.
Its not healthy to be in a relationship with someone who threatens and physically hurts you. He shoudldnt have a temper with you. You need to talk to him about it. And if he wont listen, which he probably wont, if he has a temper, be extreamley careful.
Do everything you can, be on your best behavior, be yourself, and if problems still arise that cant seem to be fixed. Break up with him.
People that threaten to kill themselves, usually dont do it. I mean its always a serious matter, but I just have my doubts that he will. Tell him you care about him, but that he has hurt you and you cant stand being in this kind of relationship, and that its VERY unhealthy. Emotionally and physically.

And the thing about giving him a taste of his own medicine, be the bigger person. Dont let him hurt you and dont let him act like he has control of you. You are your own person and you are simply amazing, you are a human being, and NO one deserves to be hit or treated if they are lower than that.

Violence in a relationship is NOT tolerable one bit. Its horrible, and you need to get out of this relationship ASAP. Get help from friends, back up, anything you need to get out of this situation.

I hope things go great hun.

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so i've met this guy last jaunary. we've been dating since march.. and i lost it to him (lets just say i didnt think about it before i let things happend). and well for the past month or so, i've been feeling so annoyed and irritated by him! i've tried breaking up with him twice! its not working!! hes not letting it hapend! he bugs so much! and ive told him im annoyed by him! he just gets mad and says he doesnt do anything to annoy me! half of it is him that bugs to be arownd me, and then the other half is me, that i get annoyed easily! ive tried asking for a break, but he says hes only gona give me my space.. but thats not even working! he still constantly calls, text, ask if he can come over everyday! and i dont know what to do about it! and i feel like hes always trying to win me over from my friends! and i hate it!! please help asap!

Just be firm.
Tell him its over, no space, no nothing, everything between you two is over. No connections left, you are burning all bridges between you guys having a "relationship" but friendship could be in your future.
Tell him he needs to stop calling&texting you so much, and TELL him firmly that NO he can not come over everyday, and not at all. And that you need time for your friends. If he wont leave you alone, let a school counsular know, or your mom. I know that sounds corny, but really, it will help.

Good luck with the annoying stubborn boy hun!

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How do yall scrunch your hair?
And make it look beachy and cute

Aussie Scrunching Spray
Pantene Curling Gel Spray

Towel dry your hair,
and then spray it in,
and when your hair is still a bit damp,
spray your hair scrunch it up and mess it up,
and then stick it back in your towel, and wrap your towel on your head,
leave it like that for a while, then when you take it out, just put more spray in it, and scrunch it, works for me.

& it helps to have a little natural wave to your hair.

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