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I am a 29/f that loves to listen and try to help out. I have always been the one people go to for advice.

I will tell you how I feel about it. If you don't like my answer, I'm sorry. However, usually what I say is true, people just can't handle the truth.

advice

so this guy asked me out yesturday but i just want to take it really slow. I don't want a label on it though yet. but when people start to ask me now if were going out, i don't know what to tell them. I cant just say i don't want to talk about it cause my friends don't work that way, and this guy goes to my school so its pretty obvious. what do i tell my friends?

Just tell them you are not boyfriend and girlfriend, but you are kind of seeing each other, or "dating". Let them know that you and him have worked it out about not getting serious real fast and you two are just seeing how things go. If that doesn't work for your friends, let them know that you are undecided about what to do exactly as in a relationship with him, and you will tell them when you figure it out.

I have a few best friends who i know are kind of my "true blue." ya know ? well anyways - theres this other girl and she thinks she's our bff but shes not. she's always buying us presents and trying to impress us, but we're not those kind of people. we love each other for who we are, and shes just trying way too hard and being fake. she's really annoying and won't stop talking to you until you give her the answer she wants. shes a princess at home, but not well liked at school because of her annoying antics. sometimes she'll come out shopping or something, and honsetly, i want to rip my hair out because she just never shuts up.

she means well, but shes just INCREDIBLY annoying and tries way too hard. how do i let her know that enough is enough? i want to be able to tell her to "shut up" but obviously not in those exact words. she just needs to back off a little .

thanks so much loves. ill rate :]

Haha!! Ok story time. Now, when I was about 20, my best friend and I had a tag-a-long most of the time. She was annoying, a "princess", and just down right bitchy. One night, we were all hanging out together and her and I started doing shots. Well, we had decided we needed more lemons. When we left, my friend (sober) drove us to the store. We both sat up front and she sat on my lap and the arm rest. Well, she got really serious and said, "hey, why don't you guys like me?" Me being drunk, popped off and said because your a bitch. Now, if I was sober, I would have never said that. It's just way to mean.

Now, for you, what I can suggest is talking to her in private and let her know that she is trying to hard to be your friend and she gets to the point of being annoying. If you are honest and nice to her about it, it may not go so badly. Just make sure you don't say it offensively. Let her know that you guys can be friends, but she needs to tone it down a notch. I hope it works, good luck!!

what's a chode?

It's where a man's genital is wider than it is long.

I'm only just beginning to realize that my father's rather sudden and traumatizing death, which I thought I had dealt with, is still hanging around my neck when it comes to relationships. I can make quick light of a lot of the men I meet, a sort of heightened intellectual resistance when I'm not all that interesting. But a few really get me going, really get me excited. Then of course I suffer all kinds of ridiculous anxiety about the distances between every phone call, every meeting, and often ignore red flags in my stubbornness to view everything positively (rooted in my everything-is-great, we're great longtime family dynamic). Of course, I do my best to hide these fears, but things with the new guys always collapse nonetheless.

Can you recommend any books or readings that might help me find some coping mechanisms for these fears of abandonment? I just read Debbie Magids' "All the Good Ones Aren't Taken" and I guess I'm a bit of a "Runaway Bride," though I'm also not. In fact, I usually hold onto people far too long (an abusive seven-year marriage, five years now defunct--I finally left; a three-year boyfriend I could never commit to. Both of these were men with great flaws but who I knew I could at least trust to never leave me, basically because of those same flaws.) Well, that's me in nutshell and feeling rather nutty. I'm just looking for some between-the-pages resources. Thanks!

Here are some places for reading material in the subject you asked about:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/171993/rejection_and_abandonment_coping_with.html
http://www.coping.org/relations/aprove.htm
http://www.suite101.com/discussion.cfm/did/116899
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=276x4576
http://www.psychwww.com/resource/selfhelp/relationship.html
http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t80525/
http://www.ojar.com/view_35316.htm

I hope these help some. Just remember, that everyday life happens and there is nothing you can do about it, however if you let it control you, you won't have the life you were meant to have and enjoy. Facing your fears head on will be the first step in getting rid of them. Good Luck!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update: Might I ask why you didn't find my advice any good? I figured that considering that I took the time to find you sites that offer help on abandonment issues, you would be grateful. I guess not. As long as you get help I guess that's all that matters.

well you've probably heard this question numerous times,
i needs some ways to "get him going", that are really hot.
and some positions for after i've successfully done that.
i've tried cosmepolitan, but that doesn't give me much.
so, anything is greatly appreciated.
oh, i'm a female and straight if you couldn't tell.

Ok, here is something you can try. When you and him are out (like not at a house), wear something sexy and enticing. Flirt with him, and give him mental visuals by saying stuff, like what you want to do to him, or what you want him to do to you. Kiss him, and give him kind of like a "G" rated kissing tease or touch him on his upper thigh but not "there". Get him worked up when he can't have you, and then when you two are alone, he should ravish you because now he can. It's kind of like teasing him. Good Luck!!

Well to start off , me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year. He always say he loves me more and cares about me more than i do for him. Buy seriously i dont think its truley the way he feels , i think im the one who loves him more like wth all my heart i think that . Id do anything for that boy , he also will to . But i mean i just wish he would show we he loves me more , i just dont want his feelings to go away and i hope there not . What should i do because everytime i tell him the way i feel he gets mad and says whatever i love you more end of story and he is just like mad and stuff. So what do i do ? i want him to appriciate me more ''/

so answer these please
- what do i do to get him to show more love?
- How do you know if a boy's feelings are fading for you ?

thanks

First off, some people just have a hard time showing emotion, especially males. I have been married for 6 years and sometimes it's still hard to get him to show me emotions. You can, however, notice the small things that he does to make you happy, even if it's not affectionally so. Like, does he make sure that you are happy, getting everything you need (that he can manage to give you), does he go out of his way to make you smile?

Think of it this way, if he's still there, and treating you good, chances are he truly does have feelings for you, just unable to show them like you do.

I wouldn't worry about it unless he starts showing you signs of unhappiness. If that happens, be sure to clearly communicate with him, but don't pressure or pursue the issue so that it makes him unhappy. When he feels it's the right time to communicate, he will. Good Luck!!

right
me n this boy were getting together, really close and he told me he loved me and i really love him!!
i know im only 16 so probs dont know what real love is but stil!
now - a girl that he liked before me (they had huge fal out and hated each other b4 xmas) now they are mates again and he likes her as more than a friend. he says he cannot decide at the mo coz he loves us both and doesnot want to hurt one of us. she is the kinda girl he will get hurt with but i dont think he sees that! i have told him to choose who he thinks he will be happy with because i want him to be happy - really i want him to choose me i love him!!
im not sure if she like shim as more than a mate either. i cant tel him that he will get hurt by her because he will think im trying to win him over. what can i do to win him?? i really like this guy and i do not know what to do :(

Ouch, this is tough. I know that you are in love with him, and at 16, you pretty much know what it feels like. I know most people will say you are to young to know how you feel, but I disagree. Some people find their soulmates at that age. Heck, back in the olden days, some were married off as young as 10, so trust me I believe you.

Now, there is no real clear way of making him choose you. The best thing, even though it sucks, would be to as nice, loving, patient and understanding, to show him what kind of character you have. Maybe, if you are helping him make life happier and easier, he will see that the best choice is to be with you.

Also, if you want to know how she feels about him, go to her and talk to her. Don't corner her and accuse or be cross with her. Be mature and straight forward. Tell her that you love him and that you want to know where she stands with her feelings for him. Who knows, you two may become friends and won't have to worry about her stealing him away from you.

I wish you the best of luck, and hope everything turns out the way you want it to.

Ok, So I've heard a lot about RawMinerals. And a couple of my friends use it, and they say it's amazing. And i was wondering if anyone knew of a place that i can get a free sample of it??

If you are concerned about price with the Bare Minerals, Wal-Mart sells a cheaper version that is made by Loreal called Bare Naturale. It has the whole line-up, including blush and eye shadow. Another product that does the mineral make-up is Physicians Formula. I hope this helps.

whats the name of the movie where a houdini dies because of a water stunt he was doing....

and whats the name of harry houdini's brother who took over him?

Ok, here are some movies that are about houdini.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0045886/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0159276/
http://www.amazon.com/Houdini-Movie-Star-Three-Collection/dp/B0012OSGJK

In something I read, it says that Houdini died from a ruptured appendix because of a college boy who had heard he could get hit and it wouldn't affect him, but it did.

More information about Houdini can be found at these sites:
http://www.aaronmartini.com/harryhoudini.html
http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/vshtml/vshchrn.html
http://www.apl.org/history/houdini/biography.html

I hope this has helped!

im thinking of getting one of their cds from the library.. because i like their songs "feel good inc" and "dare". but i notice they have a lot of cds and songs so i wanna know the best cd they have.. and like how good it is and stuff so i wont waste my time :) thanks

I'm sorry, I may not be contributing to answering your question, but I do have a suggestion. If you like their music, who's to say you won't like both cds? Since you are checking it out from the library, you could get all and decide which one you like best. Good Luck!!

how do i start to think about how to save the planet? i just listend to the new Jack Johnson CD and on the back it says Recorded on 100% solar energy, now thats truley inspiring stuff to a massive fan like me :p how do i start to go about thinking about reducing carbon emmisions from my car (when i hopefully get one) and other things that need to be reduced, any helpfull links you know of would be greatly appreciated thanks alot,

(Help stop global warming and feel better abotu yourself in the know your helping others survive, our children and next generations need a better world in which to live)

How noble!! I love that you are thinking about contributing. Most people love to try, but never end up following through. I am in my first year of my Associates degree, and the current class I am in is Environmental Science. Let me tell ya, I learned a lot in the first week of that class. It's a real eye opener. Now, if you want to check out sites that contribute to being "green" or that focus on helping the sustainability of our world, I would suggest these sites below for more information. For my ideas, you can e-mail me anytime at fallenxxangel123@hotmail.com, please put advicenators somewhere in the subject so I don't think it's junk mail. Good Luck!!
http://www.greenpeace.org/usa/
http://www.saveourenvironment.org/
http://www.seql.org/100ways.cfm
http://library.thinkquest.org/C0111401/
http://www.ceres.ca.gov/tcsf/earth/lazyguide.html
http://www.harrybrowne.org/GLO/Environment.htm
http://www.campaignearth.org/landing.asp?code=google
http://www.sustainableearth.net/

So Sorry, I can get a little carried away with this subject, if anything, I have given you a weeks, at least, worth of reading material. A few ideas to throw at you would be this: recycle (paper, glass, cans, and anything else that can be), using vehicles less, stop using anything styrofoam, and don't use anything that comes out of a aerosol can. Good Luck, and would love to help more if I can.

to cut down on irritation down there would it be a good idea to use baby oil? would that burn?

I'm not exactly sure what kind of irritation you are having, but I am assuming that you are referring to shaving discomfort. If that is the case, baby oil is suppose to clog your pores causing more damage.

There are things that you can do to ease the discomfort. For example, make sure your hair follicles are open, to do this, soak in a warm tub for about 20 mins prior to shaving, and then use an exfoliate to help open the follicles better.

Apply a lot of shaving cream, preferably the sensitive skin kind. You are suppose to shave in the opposite direction the hair grows in, like if it grows downward, you shave upward. You are not suppose to go in any other direction to help prevent razor burn. However, I don't listen to that rule, but I have been shaving for a while.

When you are done, recleanse the area, and make sure to rinse well. Pat dry. Then apply a moisturizer that is specifically design for after shaving. Skintamates has a great product. Look in the shaving aisle at your store.

Good Luck!!

i'm 13 years old. recently i found a little tiny bump on my nipple, but you could barely see it. could this be breast cancer? aren't i too young to have it? but what is the youngest age you can get it? or if anybody has the same thing or knows a lot about it would help me!

Normally, breast cancer is a lump under your skin that you cannot see, only feel. More than likely you either have an ingrown hair follicle infected or just a natural affect going on. If it itches, hurts, or bothers you, it's more likely not cancer. Cancer doesn't hurt and you cannot feel it. Now, if you are too concerned, I would tell your parents to set up an appointment with the doctor. Good Luck!!

latley i have been feeling like the world is out to get me. i feel like this is the worst year of my life. and ill tell you why. the boyfriend of almost a year broke up with in the beginning of the school year b.c well he said he doesnt know. so thats great then like a week after that i find a new guy from our school and hes just wikid hott and being upset as i was i made out with him. and the ex thought i didnt love him so he didnt ask me to be his girlfriend again. then the hott guy i hooked up with is flirting with other girls and my parents hate him and are arguing with me about him so i just forgot about him was hurt that another guy hurt me but w.e....then my ipod got taken away by some teacher i got it back with out getting a detention or iss or phone call home so it was all good but made me nervous as hell. through the year i have made new friends they are known as the popular girls and when im with them i dont know who i am im not acting like my old self i miss me i dont even know me any more. then a couple weeks lata a teacher for some stupid reason thougt i lied to her so she called my parents so they grounded me until febuary 11 now if thats not pissing me off enought they are always yelling at me to do this whats wrong blah blah blah and yesterday we got the report card and fisrt semester i had social and i almost failed and it was the only class that i was doing horrible in i tried my hardest to do good but apparently not i could of done better my dad says so now im not alowed to do sports get a job go out nothing. from what he says so im stuck froever my mom messages me on facebook and i dont know if she says im grounded or wat but but she had the topic of the message GROUNDED and the message saying report card? what the hell. so thats just great. and my mom is having all these secrets and i dont want to hear them idont know what they are about but they are worrying me. so im just sick of it and you know its been the worst year ever when someone says to you "wow you are having a bad year". i try to be happy putting a stupid facke ass smile on when really i just want to scream for help i dont know what to do my gpa for school needs to be over a 80 to get a phone and rite now its a 74 and its pissing me off to no limit im trying hard i have 80s and above in all classes except fucking social nd social is over with but i have a feeling if i dont have like a 90 in all classes now that the grade average is going to keep me the same and that means no phone. which scuks i need something good to happen im sick of this i want to cry all the time. and my dads always like wheres the smile whats wrong but if i tell him hell just get mad and ground me some more wich is o so fabulous they are yelling at me for stupid shit and grounding me like i just murderd a cat and left it in the middle of the living room for all to see. i have a problem and i dont know if its something i can control but i dont like the way im living i just want it all to stop but one thing comes to another and its all coming down on me like bricks. what do i do. plz help i cant do this ne more. :[ i need to be my laughing old self again where is she.?

In all honesty, you need to start worrying more about your studies and less about your other situations, like boys, toys, and not being grounded.

If you start with improving your grades, other things will fall into place. You will get good grades, parents will get off your back, you'll have your life back, and hopefully with that your smile and personality as well.

As for the other stuff, take it one problem at a time. The more you try to solve everything at once, the worse it gets. You are never going to get out from under that stress, and it will keep building and building until you blow up.

Now, for starters, relax, learn to block things out, count to 10 and start from there. Work on one problem at a time, and then go from there. Good Luck!!

Okay, so I got naked (okay, he was naked; I was in my panties) with my guy for the first time today (we've been seeing each other for about four months, and there is a LOT of sexual tension/chemistry). Even though we didn't have sex, there was a lot of outercourse-type thrusting and I went down on him for a bit. The kicker? Despite being visibly aroused and hard as a rock, he couldn't stay *up*. It was the weirdest thing! He actually hung while hard, just hung! It was ridiculous; he kept flopping out of my mouth, and when he was thrusting, it just hung between his legs! (Despite being massively swollen and hard and with pre-cum and everything.)
Has anyone ever experienced this? Do you know what it could be??

(By the way, we're both 17. I've seen a fair few penises in my life, and never experienced anything like this--they've all managed to stand at attention quite well. He's never had any sexual relations--not even kissing--before me, so I didn't say anything. He's become very good at most things in which pants stay on, but this just totally baffled me. It was so weird!)

Here's the thing, not all penises are created equal. They are all different, just like the two snowflake rule. Now, it's possible that his penis is not the stand "up" at attention, rather just a hang out, and be happy kind. Does that make sense? In any case, there is nothing wrong with him, or his willy. It could also be due to the type of underwear he uses. I have heard that different types, boxers, briefs, commando, can cause different reations to how a penis will lay. As long as Mr. Happy, stays hard, and can perform, I wouldn't worry about it, just try to be creative in the way you handle it. Good Luck??

Ok. Well my brother's best friend is about to be 20 in June. I turn 16 in May. The two of us have known each other almost all of our lives. My aunts are always saying we're going to get married and everything but, anyway. I got drunk one night at my parents party and he drove me and my aunt home and my aunt said that we kept telling each other we loved each other (I don't remember that night.) Then a month later at my aunt's wedding he came over afterwards with my cousins and we watched movies and we were basically cuddling without being too obvious about it. Then a year passed, he left for Penn State and my brothers grad party came up. Well afterwards we were sitting around my firepit and I was sitting on a chair and he came up and sat on the arm on the chair and was eating and he offered me some food and I said no thanks and we just sat there like that, with him just looking at me every now and then and it felt so perfect. I fell asleep on the couch laying on him later that night. Then he went back to Penn State two months later. After 12 years, I've fallen so in love with him and every now and then I feel like he feels the same way. I told him how I felt that night I got drunk but I don't think he took it seriously because I was drunk. I don't know. I'm scared because I'm so in love with him but he's such a good friend of my family's and I don't know how to tell him. Help?

Oh, I've so been there. I didn't know him nearly as long as you have known your guy, but do you want to know what happened? We got married. We have been married for almost 6 years now. The only mistake you could ever make, is to not tell him how you feel (sober) and get all the cards out on the table. If he feels the same way, then great. If he doesn't then at least you didn't let this opportunity go by you, and wonder what if 10 years down the road.

If you let yourself be honest, and hopefully he will return the declaration as well. It could be the best thing you have ever done your entire life. However, this is going to take courage. I know that you have it in you, and you will realize that you do too. Don't be afraid of your emotions and feelings, when you are, you let that fear consume you and live in regret for the rest of your life. I wish you nothing but the best of luck!!

ok, this is really random, but my dad is a VERY republican/political/history person. He was talking to me when the pressident was giving the state of the union address. well anyways
we were talkin about who could win as president.
heres my few questions

1. COULD a midget win the presidency
2. WHICH do you think would come FIRST? A woman president, black president, or a jewish president?

I am just wondering, please answer these! THANKZ!

This is a tough one. See, the problem is, Americans are used to middle aged white (idiots) men running the country. Americans are afraid to do something they don't know. Also, the mentality level, shows that we (American's) aren't ready for something different.

More than likely, all three of the prospects that you have stated will probably never get the chance to hold office. I would love to see someone with great views about the world, finance, and our own well being get elected, and whoever and whatever they were wouldn't matter, but what they stood for did.

I would say midgets will probably never hold office because they won't be taken seriously. I hate to say that, but it's true. A women will probably never make it into office either, because most people don't think they are capable of handling a man's job, in a man's world. A black person will probably never be elected either. Unfortunately, there is so much racism in America, that we can not see past the color of their skin. Now, as for the Jewish aspect, from what I understood, a person has to be a Christian to run for presidency. So, that would mean a Jewish person would have to convert to become a Christian before they ever get the chance to run for congress. I don't see someone wanting to give up their religion, way of thinking, their whole life just to run for president.

Now, these are not my views. I personally would love to see the right person be elected to help America recover from the catastrophies that have occured over the last 8 years. I want someone who can stand up to the politics and let them know that they are here for the people, not for the political party. So, no matter what size, color, gender, or religious group you belong to, as long as you are honest, for the people, and ALL-AMERICAN, than you have every right to be president.

I hope I've shed some light on this subject. Sorry I ranted so long.

i started going with this sexy boy sat and today almost every time i was close to him my face got extremely red!!!im like light skiknned but not white but u can deffinately see when i am red in the face.it was at normal temp in class and i was sitting beside him wiith a friend and my friend was like gosh your getting mighty red in the face and i started laughing and was like its really cold in here!it was so embarsed!then we were walking outside and it was kinda chilly and i was walking with him again and i started getting really red in the face and the girl was like dang grl your red again!i was like its really cold ousided ok.and she said it must be reall ycold every where and i was like yes it is!its so embarrasing but i just cant help it and it sucks!!!will this getting red in the face ever go away because it is like supa embarrasing!and also what do guys think when girls get red in the face when they are around some one they like?thanx!

I'm sorry, but that's the cutest thing I've heard in a while. Yes, it will go away, but it will happen in time. Your just embarrassed right now and your face, unfortunately is a dead give away. Once you get used to being around him more, it will get better.

On the lighter side, hopefully, he thinks it's cute too. I mean when someone swoons over you like that, you would like it, right? However, since I don't know how this guy thinks, it's hard to tell you what he thinks about it. All I can say, is try and think to yourself, ok calm down, he's just a guy, it's no big deal, and maybe that will help you relax. Also, if you can, try talking to him as much as possible outside of school, through the phone or im, whatever you can. This way, you can start to feel more comfortable with him. Good Luck!!

Ok well my mom is an immigrant but i'm not. and she's been telling me about this lady at her work who is constantly like..i can't explain it, mocking her? Rudely teasing her? About some things but the most one i'm having issues with is her voice. She says that she makes rude jeers like "i'm sorry, WHAT?!" like in a rude way.

My mom's been living in canada for about 25 years now. She knows perfect english but ti's just that her voice and thick accent doesn't make her appear so. I don't know if there's anything they can do. She isn't exactly smart because she didn't go to school, she was a refugee so she isn't very smart form the education and the work isn't that great. There was a vice-president or high worker that was similar to the girl but he was fired for unknown reasons. I want to come to her work and just slap the bitch out of there but I obviously can't do that.

What can i do?

Unfortunately, people have a tendency to mock the unknown. It isn't fair nor right for people to treat others in this manner. I would suggest telling your mom to turn the person in for racism. Racism (discrimination) is against the law, and can be taken to court if necessary.

If she is not wanting to take this kind of action, I would suggest telling her to ignore the person that is mocking her. I know it's not the best way to handle a situation, but at least she can be on a higher ground, because she is being the better person.

I wish you and your mom the best of luck.

Does anyone have a link to a working on-line video of President Bush's State of the union address from tonight, January, 28th 2008?

Please?

http://www.cnn.com/

On the front page it gives a story and video options to watch parts of the address. I am not sure where else to find the complete video, but maybe clips will help get you the information that you desire. I am not sure why but now when you search anything, the only things that they represent are youtube.com with paraodies. It's a sad time that we live in when we can't even get real news online anymore. Sorry for the rant. Good Luck!! I hope this helps.

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