about

Hi, I'm Brittney, I'm a junior in college. don't ever feel hesitant to ask me a question, I will never judge you. Be completely honest and I will give you the best answer I can give, 100% of the time. A fun fact about me- I'm a triplet!

advice

I noticed you said you are a triplet and I think that is cool (: What do you dislike/like about it?

Thank you! I've loved having two other people that I can relate to and have a special closeness with because we are all going through specific phases of life at the same time. For example, going to the junior prom and having a first boyfriend (girlfriend for my brother). It's also pretty cool because we all used to have the same friends growing up. Recently my sister transferred to my college which is awesome ; and we all turned 21 together and had our first legal drinks together which was definitely special.
I guess you could say some dislikes are regular sibling like problems. Conflicts are more complicated because we are friends with the same people so often times my best friends get a two sided venting session! And although I'm a lot older and have way more responsibilities and freedom, my parents were a lot more strict when I was younger because they were going through every experience with three kids for the first time.
Overall it's been a very identifying experience for me. I say that with the meaning of independence :-) . I used to be identified as the "triplet" all of the time. This really helped me push myself to be more independent and discover who I am as "Brittney" not the "triplet" . I hope this answers your question! Sorry it took a while to answer I started college again and took a bit of a hiatus but I'll be on hopefully more often!

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(F18)
Hi I have been dating a great (m20) guy for a year and a half I don't know how to explain this very well, but Iv always wanted to have a boyfriend and now i realized its hard. I always have a strange feeling of wanting to text him but I feel like he's too busy even though he says it doesn't bother him plus he just plays video games and goes to work but it gets me kind of mad that he doesn't text back I guess its my fault I never text him back fast sometimes because I want to keep my mind busy instead of just waiting for his text. My boyfriend and I are always so close and clingy with each other we almost act like kids in love and I feel like that slows us down from spending time doing something cause it gets us too distracted and I feel like thats part of the reason he get me really attached to him. Don't get me wrong I love it but I don't want him to be in my head that deep in keeping me away from doing everything I have to get done. I just don't know,but I also think about it a lot and I don't like how To control the fact that he's that way. I guess I expect to much from him and I would explain small things he's done oh and he never tried to hurt me of any that sort he's just well kind of slow in common sense and it worries me he's like any other person but it takes a while for him to get something as it happens to me but less. his history with life at home has him thinking he can't be a smart person he over sleeps, takes anti depressing pills forced by parents, goes to the bathroom every 30 to 40mins when hanging out, works at a job I helped him get, he doesn't have a future in mind except with me,I don't know I love him but I don know why I feel like breaking up the last time I did was when I actually did because we were distant cause I was going to through stuff and his mom called me to ask why I wasn't with him and got back together with him even though I did miss him but at the same time I didn't but this was a day break up thing we didn't last broken up

You've expressed quite a few different feelings so I'm going to try to address them all. First off, I think you mean well and your genuine nature is persuading you to stay with him. I know how that feels because I'm the same way. It takes a lot of time to think about but if you are unhappy as you seem to be, perhaps the best thing for you is to break it off with him. I was held back by an ex boyfriend and there are times when I regret having ever dated him. The person you are dating should inspire you and challenge you to be the best that you can be.. it is clear that he is instead holding you back. There's a quote I live by that I really think pertains to your situation:
"It's true we don't know what we have until it's gone, but it's also true we don't know what we are missing until it arrives."
In other words, in my opinion (which you in no means have to take personally) I believe there is so much more waiting for you that has yet to be discovered. Anyone that slows you down is keeping you from truly experiencing life. 18 is the best age because you really start to shape as a woman and start following the path of life that you chose with every decision and activity you partake in.
Even if you decide to stay with your current boyfriend, remember that it is okay to express how you feel to him. To avoid waiting for his texts, I encourage you to set a time where you can talk on the phone with each other everyday. Say it's right before dinner, when you wake up etc whenever is most convenient. This way you don't need to keep checking your phone or wondering if he has sent you a text message. Good luck!! This was lengthy but I hope it helps.

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I just ate a slice of plain boiled liver, a yam and an orange for dinner. Is that weird?

Some people may think it's a bit unusual but I'd challenge anyone to truthfully admit that they've never had a strange meal before. When I was younger my mom would do silly dinner nights consisting of ice cream. Sometimes it's strange cravings I get for dinner that makes for weird combinations of food..as long as you enjoy it who cares! :-)

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Hello 15/F*
My mom keeps reading my diary! I try to hide it but she is allways snooping around!! I write EVERYTHING °̩n there because that's the way I express my feelings. I don't act weird I'm allways bubbly, but I have my down days. Why does she keep reading it. And any good ideas where to hide it? I can't hide it °̩n my matress or pillow. So any other ideas? ThxX lvj! XxX

I used to have this problem as well. I think parents just like to keep updated on how their kids feel. Do you talk to your mom about your personal life? She may be snooping around because she feels like she doesn't know much and is trying to find out for herself. You should talk to her about how you feel. Don't get mad, just tell her you know she's been taking it and you'd like to talk about why she reads something private. If it doesn't stop, I suggest you keep an online diary. Either on Microsoft word or online notepads or free diary websites. It won't be exactly the same experience but it will be nice to not have to worry about her reading something so private. Overall, I suggest you talk to her first. I'm sure she doesn't mean to anger you, mothers like to feel involved. So maybe talking to her more frequently about your personal life will help fulfill her curiosity.. It's worth a try!

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I have to get 4 injections tomorrow and I have a very strong fear of needles. I'm trying to be brave about it but I've always had difficulty with getting them. I know if I see the needles at all I'll be out of there. It's the pain/thought of the needle in my arm that scares me. It's a new doctor so they don't know about my fear. Since it's a new doctor would I need a blood test too? Any advice about that one?

I have the exact same fear, and conquered getting a needle into my neck a couple weeks ago. First off even if your doctor knows about your fear, I always find it helpful and relieving to express how nervous I am to the doctor. You should definitely let your new doc know because they are a lot more precautionary and will take other supporting and caring measures, some psychological such as talking to distract you!

Also, a trick I use if you need your blood taken.. Ask for a pediatric (aka butterfly) needle. They are a lot smaller and give you greater ease and comfort.

Something that always helps me is wearing a charm bracelet or ring or some other type of jewelry that you can twist and look at to help you keep calm and not think about or look at the needle. If you're allowed to drink before your injections, chamomile tea really helps settle nerves with a little honey.

Also, I always forget to do this but make sure you breathe!!! That sounds silly but it's easy to get uptight and forget. You can help yourself remember to breathe by relaxing your muscles before the injections.

My last tip is if you're like me, you know you shouldn't look at the needle but can't help it. So watch until the last second that they pull the needle out of the wrapping. You won't be in anxious anticipation for too long that way, and you can physically cover your eyes with your hand after because you'll be ready for it.

Overall, it seems awful and it will never get easier for people like us who have an extreme fear, but if you really think about it, the initial insertion is the scariest. Once it's in, or you've done it first and realize it's not absolutely horrible, you will feel much better. Besides after 4 injections you shouldn't have to worry about another for a while!!

Good luck, from one extreme needle fear to another stay strong!

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Can you please give me tips on gardening??Because the roses i planted didn't grow and i was very dissapointed in them!! I wanted to give some to my mother too!! PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roses are a gorgeous choice! I would start off growing them in a pot then transplanting them to your garden or wherever else you'd like. They will be much easier to manage and control! I have posted a step by step link to a video that shows exactly how to grow perfect roses! Hope you have a full garden some day!!

http://m.howcast.com/videos/308152-How-to-Grow-Container-Roses

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i smell like body odor really bad. i put on deodorant every day but i STILL seem to smell!! and my sweatmarks are HUGE! i use man-strentgh deordorant and that doesnt even work. PLEASE HELP!

There are a few steps to take to prevent yourself from smelling, sometimes it's not about the kind of deodorant rather when you apply it.

1. Use soap generously in the shower, then apply deodorant right after
2. Make sure you don't apply deodorant after you sweat it's less potent and preventative, and will only mix with your scent
3. Shave and or trim your underarms if you don't already it decreases the amount you sweat which will help you maintain freshness
4. If the above steps don't work, there are clinical strength deodorants you can be prescribed by a doctor.
5. There are different types of deodorant (stick, spray and gel) you may want to try a different type depending on what you are using now.
6. After shower, apply a small amount of baby powder to your body in order to maintain freshness!

It's also beneficial for you to carry a small body spray bottle, they are small, discrete and smell great!

I hope these tips help. Don't feel discouraged at all it's natural and you will find the right products.

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Say it is wrong for us to stick
With my mom because she is now a criminal. What do you think about that ?

I mean in my opinion, she only has six months in jail it's not like she killed anyone. she definitely was wrong for what she did but I think calling her a criminal especially after she has done her time is really harsh, it's true but when I hear the word criminal I automatically think of murderers. To classify your mother with the same word used to describe someone on death row or who has life in jail just seems really intense to me.

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Hi there my cousin and i have been together for 6 yrs secretly we hve a 5 yr old daughter together and no one knows about it weve managed to keep it a secret this long but late last year she decided to end it recently saying she cant pretend anymore and alota people will get hurt if they found out i know shes my cousin but i just fell in love with her and even now im stil madly in love with her i havent seen or spoken to her in a month now and im heartbroken is it true u cant choose who u fall in love with? and i miss my daughter too and ive Also been told by people shes been seen with another guy this is just a very big mess at the moment i dont know what to do

That's an extremely complicated situation you are put in. I don't really think there's an easy answer for this. Basically you started with a huge secret, and in my own opinion, as hard as if may be I think that just telling the truth would be a huge benefit. Secrets are really messy, and they make you stress alot, I know it's hard to do but the best advice I could give is what I would think to do myself, just tell your family or whoever you are closest with. You will feel so much better and not have to worry about hiding anything anymore. Besides it would be alot more complicated keeping this secret years down the line when your child grows up and understands moral and family secrets and issues. I really hope this has helped you, telling the truth is never the ideal path to take in particular situations such as yours, but in my experience its always the choice with the best outcome.

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statements like the jokey comments I made about my mom going to jail my dad mentioned it was good to not be hysterical and be understanding and he said to just look at the positives if the situation. That's when I mentioned the whole she will no what it's like to be punished tease. He mentioned it will give me an opportunity to see what happens when you break the law and it is an interesting and educational experience lots of prior my age don't have. Would you agree with that?

Yes I agree, and you can make your own experience out of it as well

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I was with a guy for 5 months, lets call him X. So we really connected in all sort of ways as possible, we become really intimately close. We broke up because we used to argue a lot, sometimes we would just clash for no reason and it would blow into a really big argument. We have still been talking 7 months after our break up and I haven't lost one bit of feelings for him. We talk at least once very 2 week, sometimes we'll talk as just friends, others we will talk more than friends. But I just don't know what to because if we try to sort things out with each other, we'll be fine and then we will start arguing again. I can't lose these feelings, I go out on dates with guys who I know are my type and I'm like, but he's not X and I just think about him whilst on my dates and everything. Thanks! F/17

It sounds like you can't let go because you keep in constant contact with him which will definitely make it 100x harder. It's a gut wrenching decision but you should decide to either talk or permanently separate, you will move on easier, stop comparing other guys to X, and you'll feel better that you know what you want to do. You should talk to X about how you feel because you are both leading each other on by fluctuating between talking as friends then as more than friends. It's not fair to either of you. You're definitely in a touch situation but I believe that talking to X will help you clear your thoughts. I hope this helped!

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my school starts soon. Luckily my mothers case is not a big one so it wasn't on the news or anything. I told one of my friends but haven't told two others. If I invite them over they will probably notice my mom not there. Do you think if people find out they will be all cruel or teasing like you usually see on television shows or understandable and just mind their own business? I am optimistic and believe they will be understandable and won't act in the way you usually see like on TV

It's nobody's business what your mother is going through so you don't need to feel obligated to tell them if you aren't comfortable with it. If they ask you where your mom is you can just avoid the question or tell them "she's not here right now". If they are your true friends they'll understand regardless of whether or not you tell them. If they push the subject and you feel uncomfortable just politely tell them that you would prefer not to talk about it and change the topic. They won't be cruel if they are your true friends, just make sure you don't say anything insulting about your mom and I'm sure they won't feel enticed to say anything back about her either. Just stay positive it's okay you can still have fun with your friends and not have to worry about that.

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I'm a 16 year old girl. I'm so used to living in the past and I have a serious issue with growing up. I'm very nervous about things that will be happening in the near future, like getting a job, getting my license, graduating high school, etc. Other kids my age seem to be so excited about these things while I feel a pit in my stomach!! What are some ways to overcome these things and not feel as nervous?

You sound like a mini me when I was your age. I can tell you that feeling will never go away, but I have come to believe that it's a good thing :-) . That nervous feeling shows that we really care about achieving our goals. But there definitely is a way to dilute that nervous feeling and to enjoy yourself/get excited. Try thinking about how relieved you will be when you get your license, and ask yourself, what's the worst that can happen? In your case of getting a job, maybe you apply and don't get it, so what? There are hundreds of other places that you can apply to, there will be another job out there. Also try to not overwhelm yourself, think about one goal at a time. Graduating high school is more of a futuristic goal, while getting a job is more immediate, so focus your nerves on getting a job and calming yourself down in that aspect. I feel like my answer was a little scattered, probably because I'm writing it at 1:30 am but I was eager to help you because my situation was so identical. If I didn't make this clear or if you want me to elaborate, I definitely can for you, hopefully I helped! Ps.. I always say that you should be worried when you're not nervous, which is what I meant by that feeling being good :-)

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I know it's good to be social and stuff, but I don't want any friends at my new school... Friends mean drama, and I just don't want to deal with it this year. Is there a way to make people not talk to me (Without them disliking me or making a fool of myself for them not to) or to make them stop talking to me when they do?..

You become friends with someone by hanging out with them outside of school, and pursuing conversation. If you really don't want new friends, just be nice but don't over exert your energy into finding out more about that person. If you limit your conversations, you will become friendly acquaintances, not friends. Although if you do make new friends and it starts drama, you can always distance yourself from them just as you would limit your conversation to prevent a friendship. Just something to think about :-) . Hope this has helped!

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Hi everyone,

I just want to thank the people who take time out of their day to give advice to others. I really appreciate the advice you guys give . . . it's extremely helpful to me and so many other people!

Thanks again for all you do on Advicenators!

-Athena

It's definitely a circle community of giving and receiving help :-) .

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months. He was in Spain for the past month and we didn't really talk-we could only talk over Facebook chat, and only did so a couple times briefly because he never initiated it and I didn't want to bother him since it seemed like he didn't want to chat. Before he left, we hung out, and he seemed SO into me and he acted really sweet and made me feel important. But last week was my 16th birthday, and he didn't say anything. I had messaged him two weeks prior to see if he could come to my party, but he never even opened the messages. I could see that he went ONLINE for extended periods of time throughout that time, and he was ONLINE on my birthday, but he didn't even say happy birthday. He read my friend's messages so I know that he is getting messages. Anyway, I wrote him this whole thing about how it's rude to ignore my birthday and to not even read my messages(he knew it was my birthday, that's not even a question) and how it really hurt my feelings and to please reply when he can. He was online when I sent that but he still didnt read it. I don't know what's wrong with him!!! We were GREAT the day before he left, I don't know why he's ignoring me. It really put a damper on my birthday because he didn't say anything. Even my ex said happy birthday. Anyway, he is coming back today and will be able to text. He hasn't texted me. I want to know what his problem is but I don't want to keep asking. Should I break up with him? I feel that he deserves to be dumped but my problem is is that for some reason, I still really like him and want to be with him. Am I overreacting? What should I do? I just want him to talk to me again. He knows I'm angry. Thank you!

I can tell you right off the bat he doesn't deserve you. He's extremely rude to you for no reason and had no right to make you feel so special before he immaturely ignored you. I'm sorry you went through that, just know that not every guy will do that to you so don't let your hopes down. You sent him your message, you told him how you feel, that's all you can do. Honestly I know it's hard to handle but He doesn't even deserve a text from you at this point. Or a call. You should ignore him and move on with your life because you have so much more to look forward to, like someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Keep your head up and keep walking forward, stay strong!

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I am a new desk receptionist in my dorm hall this year. I am a sophomore but this is my first year working for housing. I have quite a few shit shifts, 4-6 am... I know :( but I was just wondering how to stay alive during those and how to also be a cool person during the day. I also really want to engage with my residents and be a friendly, likable person. The people on the staff of the dorm I was in last year really impacted my first year and made me want to work the job that I am working so I was just wondering how I can impact my residents' college experience as well.

I already am going to make cool door decs for them to hang on their door. I also have all of their room numbers and I'm going to write them notes when I know they are in class or out of the room, it'll be random, so each resident won't know when they'll get one and it'll be anonymous, so some will say, you're doing great today, put a smile on your face, don't sweat the small stuff. So, if you can think of cute ideas like those, lay them on me because I really want my staff to like and respect me and look back on their freshmen year and say "that one staff member was really great.."

Any help and suggestions are appreciated. Thanks so much!

What I love most about the residence hall staff is each of their personalities! So definitely be yourself! You sound like a really nice person, I can infer that you'll be a great residence assistant. The nice decorations are always noted. Something to consider for your residents to really get to know you is to every once in a while ask how they are doing. My freshmen year I had the best ra's that knew me by name and were very personal, my sophomore year I couldn't even remember who I had because she was practically a ghost. Just have fun with your job and the residents will naturally like you and be able to tell from your good vibes :-). Be open to listening and helping anyone as best you can, but I'm sure you already know that! As for staying alive with those awful hours, try to squeeze in a nap before, if you like chocolate, or coffee (anything with caffeine) make yourself a little snack, and I don't know the rules but at my college they are allowed to listen to music or being a laptop, so maybe you can play something like Netflix or radio.com to keep you awake. Hope this helps! Good luck!

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I got hired to work on my college housing staff. I am 18 and female and the guy I will be talking about is 19. So, I thought he was cute for a while. We talk, we joke, he laughs at my jokes, my eyes always search for him first in a crowded room. Tonight, we had staff bonding, we watched a movie in the basement. My roommate and one of my other best friends on staff sat together, so the cute guy came over to me and asked if he could sit next to me to which I said of course. It started out really awkward, we were both on our own sides minding our own business. However, as the movie progressed, I realized we were mimicking each other's actions. We were both eating food, I finished eating, so he stopped eating. I then cracked my knuckles, I stopped and then he cracked his knuckles. So, I moved my position so that my legs were a little closer to his, he didn't move for a little but then he moved his arm to the back of the couch we were on and set it behind me.

It's just little things and it isn't a lot but do you think there is something possibly there? (: He's so cute and I don't want to just blatantly tell him that I like him right away, before the school year even starts because I don't want to ruin a work/personal friendship with him. But, do you think we may have chemistry? Thanks!

I definitely think you both have chemistry, you have a great attitude for not wanting to rush anything. That's exactly what you should do, just go along for the ride! I'm betting things will progress between you two, eventually you will add each other on Facebook or other social media and get each others number. It's fun to have a little fling, so definitely enjoy it. If it's meant to be it will happen for you both, so enjoying work and him as a friend will be a major benefit to you. This is similar to exactly what happened to me, now I'm with my current boyfriend for over a year. Obviously there are no guarantees, but what's the worst that happens? You guys stay friends? I say it's a win win for you. Enjoy college, enjoy your job, and enjoy your fling. Hope this helps!

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I didn't exactly know what category to put this in, but anyways. This guy I know that works at the same place I do is normally pretty chill and really cool. Now that he has a girlfriend I noticed that he has forgotten to do many different things at his job (little things such as forgetting to turn off the lights to the indoor pool off, forgetting to turn the hose outside off, etc.) Is he really that much preoccupied with his girlfriend? He doesn't even hang out and chill with me and my coworkers during work anymore either, instead he's constantly texting his girlfriend. What's the deal?? He's normally really relaxed and doesn't have a care in the world. It's like I don't even know him anymore, I mean I still want to be friends with him but he's pushing everyone away...

I think because of his new relationship he is definitely distracted. Being on the phone during work shouldn't be allowed, maybe you can mention it to him if you're comfortable or to the manager about the phone. If he wasn't on it during work he would be paying much more attention. If it gets to the point where there are safety issues or you can get in trouble for him not doing his job you should definitely stand up for yourself, even if it's anonymous to the manager. You said you guys used to talk, maybe you can talk to him and ask him about his new relationship, once he gets comfortable telling you about it you can give him some helpful advice if needed. It's nice that you're caring enough to realize this, most people drop others instantly. Try to stand it while you can maybe the whole "honeymoon" phase will fade. If not, you can decide what to do for yourself. I hope this helps!

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One thing I wonder is how being in jail will change her. Obviously spending six months there would change you somewhat. I mean now that my mom is a criminal and will be surrounded by other criminals for eight months. I've talked to her on the phone and she seems the same but I still wonder. One positive that may come from this, maybe she will go easier on me. Though that could be a bad thing I guess

Yes she will be around criminals but in the same respect she will still be herself, probably a better her because she has learned her lesson. She will not pick up any bad behaviors by the people in jail, most likely she's just focusing on doing her time and getting out so she can be with you again. Definitely is a positive thing. I don't think as a mother she will go easier on you, maybe in the beginning of when she gets home because she's getting acclimated to her house again, but she will always be the same mom, and pick up her rhythm of parenting as if she never left.

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