|
No, This guy is literally crazy and threatening to kill himself.
THIS IS NOT NORMAL HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA. I'M BEGGING YOU TO READ THE WHOLE THING. PLEASE.
16/F
There's this guy at my school that has been literally obsessed with me for like two years.
He texts me constantly, and I used to text him back and we'd have these really cool intense conversations.
But then it got a little scary. About two months ago, he began to text me every single day like once every thirty minutes until I answered him back. And I'd have to answer him back, because if I didn't, he'd come up to me the next day at school and corner me at my locker and ask me to explain why I didn't answer him back. And he just would have this puppy dog look in his eyes, so he looked non-threatening, but he'd also be blocking my way out with his arms.
He's constantly leaving notes in my locker and on my desk in homeroom about how we're going to spend the rest of our lives together and have a bunch of kids. We are not dating.
I've told one of my friends about it, but it's embarrassing because I don't know what to do. Plus, he keeps telling me in every note not to tell anyone because they'll make fun of our "love" and he doesn't like it when people make fun of him.
This note thing has been going on for almost a month. And if he sees me flirting with a guy in the hall, he just gives me this look and then he'll corner me after school again. I'm allowed to flirt though, aren't I?? Well I can't anymore and I've stopped.
The puppy dog look has left his eyes by now.
And the reason why I've finally gotten up the courage to write this is because I'm all out of ideas. My friend that I told doesn't know what to do about it and she isn't really taking it seriously. And I'm too scared to go tell the guidance counselor about it because I'm pretty sure he'd find out somehow. (He tends to follow me around school). But the thing is that sent me over the edge is that he called me last night after school (today is Saturday), and his speech was slurred so I'm guessing he'd been drinking, but he said that he was planning on killing himself soon unless I:
1) stop flirting with other guys
2) stop talking to other people when he's around
3) have sex with him soon
He's crazy, right? What to I do? I was so scared last night that he was going to come over my house. I locked all the doors and I slept in my brother's room.
I don't want him to kill himself, obviously, but I also want him to leave me alone. I'm scared also too that with everything else that's going on (the notes about how we're going to be together forever) that if he does choose to kill himself, he's going to take me with him.
Please help, I'm so scared right now.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Lord.
You have encouraged this far beyond what could be considered wise or sane, which means that to a large degree you've screwed yourself out of a nice calm ending to this. It sucks when you become the object of someone's obsession, but worse this guys convinced you're in love with him.
Learn from this, pay attention to people who exhibit the same signs this guy does.
That said, its time to involve an adult. Confronting this guy will likely send him into cascade failure mode, ignoring it will get you more stalking and creepery. Shitty choice.
Normally, I would advocate the non confrontational approach, but he delivered an ultimatum that included sex. Blatant emotional manipulation.
Its time to become outright hostile. Nothing else will drive the message home. Pity is done, sympathy is done, you should not send him any other message right now besides "get away from me"
Also, involve an adult. Tell your parents whats going on, and if he does not back off after your next interaction take it to a school counselor.
]
first of all, tell your parents for sure. You might get some good advice, and help from them since they're there with you.. i think i'd be very smart to tell your councilor, i know it's nerve racking but i've had to tell my councilor many things that were going on with me just so i could put them to rest, and sometimes you can even get paid for tipping them about a suicide, its called kidchat. and if i were you, i'd try different routes, where you havent seen him before. Tell your favorite teacher, maybe he/she can help tell the councilor. as for the texting, make sure you tell your parents.. they might think it was a smart thing to change your number, good luck.
]
Hay well first don't tell him any thing that will hurt him in a way or get him to kill himself go along with it lik3 tell him stuff he wants you to so that you can have time to get him help cuz I'm sure you don't want him to hurt his self. Tell some one at school ( teacher ) NO don't cuz then they well just ask him and he want trust your help then hell try something stupid so tell your perents show them your letter he wrote and tell them about the conversation you had on the phone and how he is also at school. if you can't do that then tell someone at school that he realy needs help fast hope I helped alittle.( get them to realy understand you good luck)!!!!!!
]
I see that this is a serious problem and you're scared to death! No matter how scared you are, you HAVE to tell someone. This guy has taken everything from you, but don't don't let him take your courage,self confidence, and self esteem down with him. You MUST be a very strong person to have made it this far, and I know you're strong enough to step up to the plate, and tell someone. That's a must, so you can finally be just you again, and not have him int he back of your mind every single second of yoour life, afraid that he's going to do something crazy!!!
]
You should tell your parents first of all, and they should report this issue to the police. You shouldn't hesitate or he could physically hurt you, don't break off cotnact with him untill your parents have made arrangements with the police or he will surely get agressive on you.
But talk to your parents asap, or tell your brother to explain it to them(if he's old enough to understand).
]
First things first, break off all contact with this guy, he's obsessed with you and its extremely unhealthy and very dangerous for you.
Next, TELL YOUR PARENTS. I know you think that parents will never understand or just go over the top but they will help you! Im 19 and when i was your age i didnt want to ask my mom for help, but looking back on it, it would have been SO much easier if i just had gone to her.
Then go to your guidance counseler, You dont need to be around this boy he could harm you either physically or mentally. It sounds like hes already had an effect on you.
If you are to scared to talk to other boys, then hes affecting you negatively already.
Ignore him, delete his number. The next time he talks to you say this and only this. I dont want to talk to you anymore, dont text me, dont call me, and dont come near me. If you do ill go the the school.
After that do NOT answer any other messages. You have to be firm
]
Good HTML skills first of all : D
I got no time to format.
And this guy isn't going to kill himself, and even if he does problem solved. You must understand that's his problem. That's over there, and you're over here. You don't want to be over there with that asshole, because somebody like him could get someone hurt.
Now allow yourself to be harshly introduced to the fact that life sucks. You have a sincere problem where this guy is handling his problem with you by one of two means: civilly or uncivilly, and it's obvious which route he has chosen to go.
In any uncivil situation you must realize that you're not only protecting your physical well being, but also your criminal background.
You don't want to learn why life sucks when it comes to the law, and how even a criminal can in a downward spirally way use it to fuck you over badly, so I wouldn't hesitate to take this matter to the police or at least your parents who should have much better leverage over the situation.
This isn't uncommon by the way.
May this be a lesson for you in the necessity of practicing self defense.
<p>your comment</p>
<p><b>"Okay. 1) "Good HTML skills first of all"...are you mocking me? I didn't format the question at all and I don't understand what the hell you are talking about. 2) "And this guy isn't going to kill himself, and even if he does problem solved". You are a horrible, heartless human being. 3) "Now allow yourself to be harshly introduced" "You must learn" etc, etc. Thank you for the harshness? Again, heartless advice. 4) May this be a lesson for you in the necessity of practicing self defense". I'm sorry, are you actually blaming ME?? You are terrible and mean, and I advise you never to advise another human being. Or if you do want to advise them for some ungodly reason, try having a little more tact in your responses. You're terrible.</b></p>
<P><b><c>My Response:</c></b></p>
<P><b>You simply just can't handle the truth, and sorry that I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear.</b></p>
]
Tell a teacher, guidance counselor, or even a parent. This guy has a problem and it is not right for him to be treating you this way. It is one thing to have a crush but this is just taking things WAY to far. If you are scared then well...You have a damn good reason to be. If telling a parent means that you also need to get a restraining order then go for it. This is not just a case of obsession but this is a serious case of harassment and abuse. Relax, Go to an adult and tell them everything that he is doing. Save the text messages and the notes and bring them to an adult. This is NOT normal it is a dangerous situation that really needs legal action in my opinion. After you tell an adult, You also might want to make sure you don't want down the hallway alone. Walk with a group of friends, You can also let the principal know what is going on and ask if it's possible they move your locker to another location. This guy is nuts and needs to get his damn head straight
]
He needs help.
If your to scared that he is going to find out because he follows you everywhere in school or something, go when your in class that you dont have with him, he wont see you go and he wont know. if you ask the counselor to NOT say anything, he/she wont. that's the only way for this that i can think of and i would do it if i didn't want him to kill himself and to stop following me and be a stalker.
]
ok you really need to tell a guidance councler at your school this is serious. He has a huge obsession with you and you can't let him control your life. Tell somone now it better to save a life and be embarrased than let someone kills themselves.
]
More Questions: |