|
I wanna know what people think about wating till marraige?
f/teen
So my hole family cousins sisters brother aunts uncles etc, all belevie in waiting till marraige and so do i Its hard cause you get tempted but i stick through it.
I know that is what god wants everyone to do and its the right way to do it.
So i was wondering on how you feel about waiting to have sex and doing other things with them?
(besides kissing and makeingout)No fingering bj all that stuff how do you feel about it?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
you know i believe that waiting for marriage is a good thing to do but when people said to wait well that was a long time ago like when you lived to be like 20 and that was old. so they would get married at 14 or 15 so they didnt wait much. i think that giving blow jobs or hand jobs and fingering and what not is a loop hole of "staying a virgin" but sill having pleasure. so whats the point of doing all that and no sex it just makes know sence. everyone thinks different what sex classifies as so its up to you. i just beleive waiting for marriage means for everything not just actual intercourse with the penis in the vagina. if your going to give a blow job and stuff then your bassically having sex. thats my opinion but its really all up to you and how you feel about things.
]
18/f
Although I didn't used to believe in waiting til marriage, now I wish I had. It leaves something to look forward to, yaknow? I think doing everything but is fine but definitely wait a few months. I don't think it's bad if people have sex before marriage, it's their business and I don't think that makes them a bad person. But if you're going to marry the person (of course there's no way of knowing), then what's the hurry? Of course that's much easier said than done...
]
For me personally, I don't believe in waiting until I'm married. However, if other people choose to wait, that's their decision or their belief.
I will do what I will do, and you will do what you will do. If people want to wait, I respect that. I just hope they will respect me back for not waiting.
People can do whatever they want & that's just how it is.
]
First off, you should hold your head up high in knowing that you are a virgin. Virginity still is special and it should be cherished a lot more than it is now.
I completely understand when you say that the media keeps telling you that it's safe to have sex with anyone you have sexual desires for. This is very untrue though and you can be left with many scars because of it.
Engaging in sex puts you in a difficult situation. You can be left with emotional issues but nobody really talks about that. The reason why your peers pressure you to have sex is actually fairly simple. They aren't having good sex and they feel bad and let down from what they believed was going to be awesome, and it's human nature to want to be socially accepted. They will pressure you to have sex because subconsciously they feel bad and want you to relate to them so they don't feel alone. These people simply want others to be like them so they know they are accepted.
The people who are telling you to have sex only want you to do it too because they are either hoping your sexual experiences are just like theirs so they won't feel alone and jipped, or so you give them something to talk about for awhile.
It's TRUE! I have had girls my age confess this very thing to me: "I pressured her into having sex with him because I had lost my virginity and, well, I knew it really wasn't great and I wanted her to feel bad with me."
In reality, sex was never that great for me with the boy I lost my virginity to. I regret it every day. It left me feeling inadequate--like something must be terribly wrong with me. Because of this I still feel like my vagina is wrong and weird. Just as a note, I lost my virginity about 7 years ago--YES, I STILL feel like my body is messed up because sex wasn't good and fun like everyone said it was.
If I could, I would take it all back and would keep my virginity. I wish I wouldn't have made that mistake years ago. What's crazy is that I believed the whole "wait until you're in a long-term relationship with someone you love and loves you" bullcrap. Yeah, I waited and was with the guy for a year and a half or so and was STILL left, STILL heartbroken, and STILL empty. Sex did not add fun like so many people claim.
Instead of making meaningless sex-memories, I wish I would have made true fun memories with my past. There are so many things I wish I would have done with my youth then (which, hey, I'm still youthful but you know what I mean probably). I wish I would have actually connected with my partner, heck, I wish I would have had enough sense to find a good partner that wouldn't deceive me. I wish I spent time learning about someone instead of trying to make something meaningless into something exciting.
If you have sex and something goes wrong then you will be scarred for the rest of your life. If things get out of hand, pregnancy occurs, you're hurt in some way, or you contract a STD from the activity you cannot take it back. You will have to carry that onto each and every partner you have after then. I'm not even talking about the emotional hang-ups that can develop from ONE activity.
Married couples simply do not have the problems that other sexual partners do. Also, giving your virginity to your partner on wedding night shows a huge amount of love--to save yourself for that special day, for that special person. Married couples never fear they're being used or will be left. They're able to open up and tell each other what they desire without fear. They know that if a pregnancy happens that they will get through it together with each other's support. They also aren't fearful of catching an STD from their partner because they know they're their only partner. Both partners tend to be fully satisfied because they're able to communicate well with each other and they're able to feel emotionally secure.
You risk STDs/STIs with each sexual contact. These can render you infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death years later.
A lot of people have STDs/STIs and don't even know it. Many people don't show symptoms. You'd be amazed at how many people have accidentally given their infant a STD--especially herpes. The child grows up thinking that their symptoms are normal because the parents are so ashamed.
Along with the risk of sexually transmitted disease/infections is the risk of pregnancy. Having a child is a huge responsibility and NO "protection" is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy (or STDs, as a matter of fact). Having a child (or children in the case of twins) means being completely selfless. You have to support the child financially and emotionally. You have to tend to another human life every minute of yours.
For some shocking STD facts, check this out:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is also a link of photos of various STDs. Most of the photos are of males but there are a few female photos in there. Some are very scary. Don't worry about many photos popping up when you click the link, they're behind other links so you can choose which ones you might want to check out:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
It's even tougher if you don't have a life-long partner to help share that huge responsibility. What's even scarier about that is that men and women today are just up and leaving their children with their partners to handle the responsibility all alone. This means people need to be pickier on who they reproduce with and stop sleeping with any thing that crosses their path even if they claim to love them. Making children isn't hard, it's raising them that gets complicated.
One night of sex can result in creating another life or living with a disease the rest of yours. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they now have a tough road ahead of them trying to make enough money and time for their child.
Here are some facts about how much a baby costs within the first year of life; you should really check it out just for future issues as the knowledge could come in very handy:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, think about the consequences of that action even. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.
The media feeds us a bunch of stupidity now. We're told that if we use condoms or the pill that we won't get pregnant or have STDs. The media tells us that we should be having sex with as many people as possible to become popular, famous, attractive, and overall liked. The media says that if we love someone that we should have sex and prove this love with that is not at all what we should be doing. We're told that we should give into our urges and that everything will be alright since we can throw away the consequences.
You should not be in a rush to have sex. You have plenty of years ahead of you. Anyone can have sex. Lots of people have sex with each other every day and don't have the slightest bit of care for their sexual partner.
Here is a link about some things you should think about before engaging in sex. The site really makes you think about things you overlooked before:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...and here is a link about virginity too. It gives good examples of what they're talking about so you're able to understand them clearly:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Trust me, one night of sex can really screw you over, especially when it entails losing your virginity. You set yourself up for so many mental and physical hang-ups it's ridiculous. Please protect yourself from going through heart-ache and future sexual issues.
Sex is not what other people say, I promise you. You shouldn't rush into it because you want to have fun and "enjoy" your youth. Enjoy your youth in less-harming ways. Look back at your past and have MEMORIES of THINGS YOU DID with others and not faded-out, half-assed memories of meaningless sex.
Keep your virginity and be worth something extra-special to your husband/wife in the future.
I hope that I've helped you open your eyes to a couple of things and informed you of facts you may have overlooked. If you have any more questions do feel free to ask me directly :)
In addition, here are a couple of other Advicenators who are also wise in keeping their virginity:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
]
Im waiting till i get married to have sex too. I havent gone as far as oral sex but as long as the relationship has been going good, we love eachother, and can see a future with one another. I think i would go that far
]
Well, when I am interested in someone, and I am tempted to have sex with him, I ask myself this question: Do I see myself marrying him? and Would I want to have his babies?
If the answer is no two both questions, then easy, I don't have sex with him.
I am still a virgin, because all the guys that I have liked and dated, the answer to those questions was always no (and it also puts into perspective what kind of guy you're dating if you don't want to have his babies or to spend the rest of your life with him lol).
If I were to meet someone and the answers to the questions were yes, then yes, I would have sex with him in a reasonable time in the relationship (at least two months in, or depending on how long and how well we've known each other).
I do think that if you are engaged though, sex should be a part of your relationship.
~Maria, 18
]
i belive that you have to test the merchandise beofer you buy it :) waiting till marage is good but what happens if you wait all that time and then you dont like what you get??... hahah :D
]
I respect people waiting, but my own opinion is no no no lol. I beleive you got to do what you feel is right though, so stick to your own beleifs
]
I just recently started to go to church, I am a Christian, and I pray on a regular basis. I love God with all my heart and I feel like I am a good person. Not perfect at all, but I do my best to be the best I can be. I cuss sometimes by accident, but there are certain words that I will NEVER say. I'm sure you know what they are. I try not to hate people. I know God wouldn't want that, so I do my best to forgive or look over the people that have hurt me in the past. I know there are certain sins that are inevitable, and God never expected us to be perfect; just to try.
I have never read the whole bible from beginning to end. It overwhelms me even though I am an avid reader. I know some of the basic stories and to tell you the truth, I don't agree with some of them. I also don't always agree with some of the things our pastor says at church. Does that mean I don't believe in God? Not at all. I don't go to church every single Sunday, and I am sure the poeple at that church do not neccessarily consider me a "member" but they welcome me with open arms every time I do go, and that's what I like about them.
I know the bible says not to have sex before marriage, but I do. I have been with my boyfriend for over four years, and we have been having sex for the majority of that time. And to tell you the truth, I have never regretted that decision. I believe in my heart that I will be with him for the rest of my life, and I have planned on marrying him since I was fourteen years old. I couldn't tell you why I think it's okay to have sex before marriage, and I won't try to give you some out of my butt explanation as to why I think it's okay. I will say that in my opinion, the reason sex before marriage is considered bad is because it can be emotionally hurtful for many reasons. Pregnancy, break up, etc. And when you are young at that age, it adds that much more to the possible heartbreak. A lot of teens have sex with lots of partners, and I think that's wrong. I believe sex is sacred, and should only be experienced with someone you love and cherish with all of your heart. It's not something to be taken lightly, and I don't take it lightly at all. I believe that's why most people believe in waiting until marriage. But what is marriage? Technically it's nothing but a piece of paper that can be thrown away just as easily by signing another. I know the bible says to wait, but I think when it discusses marriag, it means more of a spiritual union as opposed to a written one. Keep in mind that the bible is man made, and it is open to error. It's not like God himself typed it out. There are two copies (Old and New) and both contradict themselves from what I have heard. So why should we listen to it word for word since everyone interprets things differently.
Even though I believe in God, I think the most important thing to remember is the state of being good. There have been many religions since the dawn of time, and almost all montheism religions all have similiar stories and the same basic beliefs. What makes one more true then another when they have the same stories? Basically, I believe in God, I trust in him with all my heart, and I believe in Christian beliefs. However I think the most important thing is being good, and I don't believe God sends good people to hell.
This is really long, and I apologize. I just want you to hear my whole story as opposed to, "I believe in God, but I am going to totally contradict myself by saying I think it's okay to have sex!" :) So there you go.
]
I personally believe that having sex (or anything else) before marriage is fine as long as you love the person and you and that person are both fully prepared to take on any emotional of physical consequences. Remember, just because you were brought up believing one thing, doesn't mean you can't develop your own opinion about it later :) Hope I helped!
-Jessica 15/f
]
More Questions: |