I've always had a 6th sense for detecting peoples body lang. and things like that. I also get these feelings that I have to protect someone...
I'm a 15/m and I feel like I have to protect this guy. And I don't know why or how or when b/c he barely talks to me. His life is not the best and I think that's why I have to 'take care of him', kinda like a brother... but the guy won't talk to me and it's very hard for him to trust people b/c of family issues... idk what to do... normally I would just let it go right? ... WRONG!!!
I can't stop thinking about him... and it's not like I like the guy... I just can't stop wondering if he's ok today, or if he's smiling and happy. I feel like I have to play the part of father? I don't know what to do! Why can't I just stop thinking and worrying about him!?
What should I do? Have you ever felt like you had to protect someone that you've never met?
Please Help!
Thanks in advance.
-Andy
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? Ignatz answered Wednesday January 9 2008, 10:42 am: Usually in a case like this, and if you believe in such things, prayer is the best thing. You don't know him, you've got a rather sketchy idea of his circumstances, and if you go barging in wanting to help he may get skittish or even insulted. Ultimately, you've got no responsiblity for him, unless he's family. If you get directly involved in his life, you make yourself responsible for him, and that may be more than you can handle. Shoot him some good vibes, say some prayers for him, and watch what happens. Either that, or just start hanging with him a little more, and be as reliable as possible. If he finds that he can count on you for small things, he'll start trusting you for larger ones. [ Ignatz's advice column | Ask Ignatz A Question ]
orphans answered Sunday January 6 2008, 10:35 pm: I understand how you feel- your instincts are telling you to take care of a guy. Of course you can't let it go! Like you said--it's like a 6th sense. It makes sense actually. Even though you never met him, you still can help him. It could be your instincts telling you that you need to help him. You see--he has family issues so you need to reach out to him and help him in any way you can until you feel like he's fine and you don't need to protect him. He probably won't accept your help in the beginning but you have to try. How old is he? What kind of family issues do you think/know? You need to show him or tell him that you understand him. This won't take one night--it could take weeks. Act like a brother--hang out with him, talk to him with the same interests he likes. He probably needs someone to talk to but he won't tell you in the beginning. You need to break his shell--if you know what I mean. Give me a little more info about this guy and his background. I'll try my best to give you a better answer next time! [ orphans's advice column | Ask orphans A Question ]
emilyjessica0x answered Saturday January 5 2008, 3:54 pm: i think you just might be protectant over him because you want to see him happy, thats not a bad thing at all. maybe you just want him to have a good life, maybe you want hm to have a life that he wont dread when he gets older. maybe you should start to become frinds with him, maybe so you can talk to him about it + maybe so you wont be so protective over him.
well, for me, even friends, i have to make sure they are ok, because you know, there my friends, + i want them to be happy. but even aqqaintences, people that i dont really know, its good to make them feel like they have someone that is protecting them, its a good thing.
xmcrgirl5x answered Friday January 4 2008, 7:23 pm: You're actually pretty much like me. Although, my 6th sense can tell when something bad's gonna happen too. Have you talked to him about it? I mean, I'm sure you wouldn't tell him about the sixth sense thing, but, maybe just tell him that you wanna be there for him. But, if you don't know him that well, talk to him, and get to know him better, so, it's less awkward. And, in my personal opinion, I think the reason you feel this way, is, you're a very kind person, and it bothers you maybe? to see him unhappy, and you just want him to be. The only thing you really can do is to just talk to him, and be there for him. I hope I helped! Keep me updated. If you need more advice, or need to talk or something, you can always talk to me on here, or my myspace and my e-mail's on my page thing.
--Christina :]
Oh, and, yes. I have felt the need to protect someone I didn't know. [ xmcrgirl5x's advice column | Ask xmcrgirl5x A Question ]
AskAllie answered Friday January 4 2008, 5:38 pm: ygs was right, you can't just assume that everyone wants your help. Try talking to him, try to become friends. It's nice that you feel the need to help him; most guys your age are much less altruistic.
I honestly have no idea why you can't stop worrying about him, but I think if you become friends with him, you'll know more about him. And when you know more about him, you'll be able to judge whether he has unsolved issues or not.
I've never felt the need to protect someone I've never met, but that's not really my personality. It seems to be in yours, which I think is nice. =] [ AskAllie's advice column | Ask AskAllie A Question ]
sml111992 answered Friday January 4 2008, 3:46 pm: i know what your feeling in a way that i would see someone upset or they mite have a smile on their face but i would know that they were feeling terriable. he mite not talk to you now but if you just at lunch if he sits alone sit next to him say hi and whats up or do that in the hall way maybe hell get the courage to talk to you. dont ignore what your feeling just go with it if you dont and something bad happends lets say your gonna feel that you could have done something to prevent whatever he did. hope i helped!!!! [ sml111992's advice column | Ask sml111992 A Question ]
superstarblue89 answered Friday January 4 2008, 2:30 pm: I always feel as though someone needs to be protected...but thats my personal nature and it sounds as though it's yours too. I would suggest trying to reach out to him in a different way. Don't be too forward because it sounds to me like he really just needs a friend...so try just being a friend instead of trying to protect him just try to be a shoulder to lean on. [ superstarblue89's advice column | Ask superstarblue89 A Question ]
Brandi_S answered Friday January 4 2008, 12:20 pm: It boils down to this- if he doesn't want your protection, you can't really give it to him. That's not your fault, or anyone's.
You can't be his father. You can try to be his friend, but you are a kid yourself. Kids don't make great fathers.
I know it's difficult, but sometimes you just have to realize you can't save everyone. People have to want to be saved.
killerface answered Friday January 4 2008, 2:59 am: First of all, please forgive me when I say that Andy is the cutest name ever. :]
I totally know what you mean, and I totally understand. I've had that happen before, myself. Even though you don't know the person, you somehow feel connected to them? (Well, atleast enough to care, yeah?)
Keep an eye out for him if you want to, I see nothing wrong with it. Don't let it completely overtake your life or anything, by any means, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting someone to get hurt.
Strike up a conversation with him, find a common interest with him, invite him to hang out with you or your friends. Sometimes just generally being nice to someone will brighten their day. And, as hard as I'm sure it is, try not to pry. If he wanted people to know, he'd tell them. If you two become friends, then maybe he'll want to tell you, and you can decide for yourself if you need to continue to watch out for him.
You feel protective of him because it seems like no one else is, I can understand that. It's almost like you feel like you should take him under your wing? Well, there's nothing wrong with doing that (or telling him that. Honesty's always nice.)
And, of course, if you have any further questions, don't hesitate to drop me a question in my inbox, or IM my AIM (sn's on my profile), I'm just about always online, and I'm really good at listening if you need me.
You can never have too many friends, remember that.
XoXoXoXo77 answered Friday January 4 2008, 2:20 am: umm no i havent felt like that before. that is very strange. you need to realize that this boy is probably fine and hes just living his life. youve never met him, hes not your responsibility. he can take care of himself. you probably creeped him out if you told him this. try becoming friends with him first.
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