Gender:
FemaleLocation:
BostonAge:
17Member Since:
January 21, 2006Answers:
49Last Update:
January 8, 2008Visitors:
4808Favorite Columnists
Cux
Main Categories:
Friendship
Families
Sports
View All
about
I'm Allie :)I love lacrosse, field hockey, running, talking, boys, summer, and Boston.
I'm very forward. If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask the question.
I'll do my best. =P
advice
ive been having sex with my boyfriend for over a year now and we never use a condem and im not on birth control. he uses the "pull out" method. what is the percentage that i could get pregnant?
This question is not worth anyone's time.
Yes, you can get pregnant without protection, and I'm positive that any search engine could have told you so.
Like I always wondred what goes on in the girls locker room...like i know the guys like are in their boxers and no shirt...but are the girls like freaken in their thongs and training bras?....like i know us guys like wanna be in there when they are getting changed and stuff...but what really happens in "THE GIRLS LOCKER ROOM" (with a voiceover announcer)
Not much.
Honestly, we just change and gossip. It's not like we throw parties wearing just bras and panties; we just change and then we leave.
Not too exciting.
=]
Our dog seems very healthy. She's a jack russell and very playful but over the past week she has spit up blood twice.
Only a vet can diagnose what is wrong with your dog. I would definitely take your dog there, you don't want anything to happen to him/her!
Good luck!
i need help! i think i have a crush on my teacher. He's in his early 30s, blonde hair. It's not a crush crush, just a 'i like to flirt with you crush' because i like his wife and his children are adorable. -It's just that i may spend extra time hanging out with this teacher, and he sorta jokingly pushes me and stuff. and we make fun of each other... this is weird isn't it..? im a senior
I don't think it's weird. You guys are just joking around- there's nothing romantic or sexual in friendly kidding. However, if you guys take it further, then it would be both weird and wrong.
But it's good to have a teacher that is kind of like a friend and that you trust.
Be able to recognize the difference between friendly flirting and taking it further.
=]
i don't know what's up with me!!!
i really need help this is effecting my whole life!
i have a bad bad severe case of procrastination... and things are piling up and i do just the bare minimum to get through no one notices because even with bare minimum it always gets the job great. so no one ever notices....
but then my other problem.... i am a sleepaholic! i can't wake up... and if i do it takes me a good hour and a half to actually wake up wake up otherwise even taking care of my own self becomes a hassle.. ( i;m usually high maintenance! and this is killing me) i sleep for about 13-15 hours if i want to get up and take less the 1 1/2 hours b4 i dress.... all i want to do is sleep.... help!
What's up with you?
You are a teenager.
Most teenagers procrastinate, sleep too much, and are tired all of the time. It is what teenagers are expected to do, or, in other words, it is completely normal.
I would go to bed earlier so you can get more sleep, but really, it's all part of being a teenager.
I honestly don't think it's a problem.
=]
I am a freshman at the highschool and exams are in a couple of weeks. And they are a really big deal. And I am freaking out about them cause i don't do good on tests. Any advice on how to make me calm down and do good on the tests?
I don't know if exams in your school are a big deal; I don't go there. I'm assuming that they're important, most exams are.
I would really try to start studying now. It's hard to motivate yourself to do so, but I think it will help alleviate your stress when the exam comes. Try working on one subject for a couple of days, then switching to another subject, and reviewing information you previously studied.
Take a deep breath before the exam, and tell yourself that everything will be okay, no matter what grade you get.
Tests can be stressful, but if you study and know the material, you should be fine.
Good luck =]
ive never been the jealous or nagging or mad type. especially when it comes to boyfriends. ive always been the laid back girlfriend who never got attatched. and now i'm with someone i really like, and i sometimes just get mad for no reason. and then when i'm mad, i realize its for no reason and it gets me even more mad because i just wish i could go back and NOT be mad. and theres times when we spend soo much time together and i just want more. and one time recently i got mad when he went to go smoke with his bestfriend and this other girl. so me, and his bestfriends girlfriend(who is one of my bestfriends) were soo mad and flipped out. i was just jealous. but the thing is the girl they were smoking with im also friends with..so i had no reason to worry. whats happening to me! he tells me its okay, and he understands how i get mad sometimes-but i don't understand it. any ideas on how to just start being more chill..do i need to count to ten and just say "ok" or what? helllllp.
thanks!
It's hard not to be jealous of your boyfriend- there are lots of girls out there, and it's normal to be paranoid. Honestly, nothing is really happening to you, you're just paranoid that someone will make a move on your guy.
You need to try your best to reassure yourself that your boyfriend is not cheating on you. When you get jealous, tell yourself that you completely trust him and you know he loves you.
Maybe counting to ten would be a good idea. Or taking a deep breath and telling yourself that everything is fine.
Trust your boyfriend.
Good luck
=]
So originally I had like an essay question
but it was too much.
So I'm gonna be short and to the point.
How do I forgive somebody
who ruined my family,
tried to kill me and my mom,
and made all of our lives HELL
for over 16 years
and doesn't even realize
there was a problem?
~Topaz
You don't. Or at least I wouldn't.
You can tell yourself and others that you forgive them, but deep down, do you? And would you want to?
I would cut off all communication with that person. I realize that this is very hard to do, but try your best. It's better to not give that person any attention or recognition.
The person didn't realize it was a problem? They didn't realize that murder is a problem?! Well, then I would think that they are immensely flawed. You don't need to associate with potential murderers.
Also, I don't believe that people change. Or, if they do, they only do under extreme circumstances. If the person doesn't realize what they are doing is a problem, then they most likely won't change.
If anything, that person should be asking you and your family for forgiveness.
Good luck and I hope everything works out okay. =]
16,f
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. Recently he went to visit his mom, who lives over 4 hours away from me. His mom had absolutely nothing to do with him until it came time for him to testify in court to help decide whether she would be able to keep her other children. Well, he was originally supposed to stay for a weekend only, but it turned into four weeks. He came back on our one year anniversary and he had been here for only 5 days when he and his dad got into a fight. They always fight, but this time my boyfriend decided to move out. To his moms. I’m really scared I wont be able to be strong enough to handle him being gone. I already miss him so much and he hasn’t even been gone a whole day yet. Also, my parents gave him the option of living in my house, rent free. They offered to buy him a vehicle and help him get a job. We even bought him a cell phone. He says he wants to finish school in my hometown, but he can’t live with his dad. So then why did he turn my parents invitation down? I love this boy but I’m so scared that something bad will happen. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
It's tough to judge the family lives of others- you don't live with them, you don't really know what goes on in their house. Maybe his dad is abusive or an alcoholic? You don't know his dad as well as he does, so therefore you should support his decision. Maybe his mom is now better suited to be a mom to him than his dad was. If your boyfriend thinks that his decision is right, then respect it.
I think he may have refused your parents offer because he didn't want to be a burden. He might be uncomfortable with the idea of someone outside of his family taking care of him. It's hard to know what he was thinking unless you ask.
Tell him that you don't want to lose him and that you'll always be there for him. Reassure him that you want your relationship to last, and if you both make an effort, that it will.
Good luck =]
I've always had a 6th sense for detecting peoples body lang. and things like that. I also get these feelings that I have to protect someone...
I'm a 15/m and I feel like I have to protect this guy. And I don't know why or how or when b/c he barely talks to me. His life is not the best and I think that's why I have to 'take care of him', kinda like a brother... but the guy won't talk to me and it's very hard for him to trust people b/c of family issues... idk what to do... normally I would just let it go right? ... WRONG!!!
I can't stop thinking about him... and it's not like I like the guy... I just can't stop wondering if he's ok today, or if he's smiling and happy. I feel like I have to play the part of father? I don't know what to do! Why can't I just stop thinking and worrying about him!?
What should I do? Have you ever felt like you had to protect someone that you've never met?
Please Help!
Thanks in advance.
-Andy
ygs was right, you can't just assume that everyone wants your help. Try talking to him, try to become friends. It's nice that you feel the need to help him; most guys your age are much less altruistic.
I honestly have no idea why you can't stop worrying about him, but I think if you become friends with him, you'll know more about him. And when you know more about him, you'll be able to judge whether he has unsolved issues or not.
I've never felt the need to protect someone I've never met, but that's not really my personality. It seems to be in yours, which I think is nice. =]
well, my birthday is coming up and so i'm having like a little dinner/fun time at a hotel kind of thing. but, since it's not a humongous party, more like a group of maybe 20 people, i decided to have all of these really fun and sexy games. I know everyone is going to love them and it's going to be amazing. Last night I stayed up all night making them and i was having so much fun. But, now, in the morning, I kind of feel stupid. I don' know why. I just think it's stupid of me to have them. But at night, I get super excited about it again. I don't know why this happends?? Does anyone know??
I think that at night we have a false sense of security. When, during the day, reality seeps in and we're thrown off a bit. At night we feel like nothing can happen and everything will be fine, but in the morning and afternoon we start to realize that things can go wrong.
I don't know if there's an exact reason; that's just my opinion.
Try not to worry about feeling stupid about the games, I don't think people are going to insult them.
Good luck and happy (almost?) birthday!
I might (MIGHT) be going to Boston for school next year, and wanted to know a bit about the city, preferably from someone who lives there (or very close by):
- BC or BU (generally)? Which school has stronger programs...
- I have heard that a lot of people there can be stuck up or just rude, overall...why do outsiders get this impression?
-How's the nightlife there? Is it a sleepy city, or more like NY, where clubs go on all night?
And which neighborhoods are the most fun?
- One thing I do know is that the weather there is very, very cold (no, freezing). I'm from California, so it'll be a big change for me- that is, if I end up going. Any tips? Other than just take a winter coat- I know that there must me more to it.
Any other quirks about being a Bostonian would be great. I'm just curious...thanks!
Sorry for the late response.
I live in Boston, so I might be able to help you out a little bit.
1) A lot of people argue that BC has much stronger programs. Honestly, I applied to both and got into both, and I am at a loss at which to go to. I personaly think BC might have stronger programs, but I like BU's atmosphere better. It's right near Fenway Park and very close by to some amazing sights.
2) I wouldn't say that we're rude; we just have strong personalities. Bostonians are incredibly agressive people, so it takes a while to get used to. The people just take some time to get used to, is all.
3) I would say that the nightlife is pretty strong. Especially after Sox games, clubs/bars are pretty much open for a while. We might not be as exciing as NY, but we're pretty close.
Newbury Street has amazing shopping! It's expensive, but gorgeous and fun. The North End has amazing food, and Fanueil Hall is fun to visit, occasionally.
4) Yes, it is extremely cold. I think today it was about 7 degrees. And it snows- a lot. Get a good pair of waterproof winter boots, and heavy clothes to wear when outside. Just use common sense.
I think that you'll love Boston. It's incredibly different than California, but once you get used to it, it's amazing.
FYI- I wouldn't recommend wearing or in anyway supporting anything having to do with the New York Yankees. It is just not a good idea. You will be ridiculed- we are very passionate about the Red Sox, and also about hating the Yankees.
Also, you will get made fun of if you pronounce names like Worcester wrong. We don't expect you to speak with a Boston accent, but if you pronounce it Wor-ches-ter, you will get laughed at. (It's pronounced Woo-ster)
It's so much better and easier to walk or take public transportation around the city. There is a lot of traffic and very rarely will you find a parking spot.
A lot of people tend to dislike tourists. And slow drivers.
Just so you know.
=]
Call me crazy, but I think it's absurd that some people do not believe in love. After seeing all the good things people can do for each other and just seeing the love people have for each other everyday, I just can't believe it. Maybe it's because I'm a Christain and I've simply been raised to and have witnessed all kinds of love myself. But can someone please give me some insight?
My perspective is that when people have been in such terrible situations, their faith in love begins to wane. It's hard to imagine, but people that have been through so much believe that whole-hearted love is impossible.
I'm unsure how people arrive at such conclusions, but I've sure met a whole lot of people who think love is overrated and a huge misunderstanding.
These people, I think, are wrong, and need to dig a little deeper to find real love.
How do you know when someone doesn't want to talk to you? How can you tell that someone wants to say something but they don't because they're scared of what you might say or think. How can you help someone to just let go?
Well, generally if someone doesn't want to talk to you, they'll act distant and kind of rude. They might end the conversation abruptly, or appear to be bored. If you get the feeling from someone that they're only talking to you to be polite, then they don't really want to talk to you.
It's hard to tell when someone wants to say something but they don't because they're scared. Mostly, you can't tell. The person might call your name and say nevermind, and generally that means that they wanted to say something but didn't. It's better to just say what you feel rather than feeling like you lost the opportunity to do so.
The last question, however, is the toughest. Most people hate letting go of people; it's not a natural instinct. You can't "just let go", instead, it's a slow, painful process. Explain to the person that eventually, they will feel better, and that you will always be there to help them. Tell them that they aren't alone.
A girl considers me her bff, but I haven't talked to her face to face in like 4 months. I use her for my own personal gain when i need her, because she doesn't like her current friends and tries to get in with my friends so she thinks it'll help but she's getting way too annoying and I would keep using her but I cant because she is seriously always there and too annoying, how do i get through to her?
What a nice friend you are!
Like seriously, it's so nice that you use her for your own personal gain, without even considering that she has feelings too!
While I realize that everyone screws up at one point in their life, how could you possibly overlook the fact that you are using this girl? Do you think that it's okay to use her? Do you think she doesn't mind, that she'd be perfectly fine if you told her you were only her friend so that you could use her?
I don't know you; I have no idea what you value as right and what you value as wrong. I sure as hell don't value using people as right, and I know a lot of people would agree with me. It shocks me that you are completely nonchalant and shameless about the fact that you are using her, and she has no idea.
This girl deserves more. She deserves a real friend, which clearly is not you. Maybe you should consider that the next time you think she is too annoying.
i am great at gettin girls phone numbers and goin up to them and breakin the ice i jus cant seem to do anythin after that though
what should i talk about
ps i snowboard alot so when im with the ladies im usully on a charirlift or sitten around at parties
Well, since you happen to have their phone numbers, perhaps you should call them?
Ask them to a movie, the mall, etc. Girls like to be called back, but don't call them back after three months have gone by and you have nothing to do. It's kind of insulting.
Most girls like when boys ask questions about them. Personally, I like guys that really listen to what I have to say. I don't like guys who merely nod their heads when they feel it is appropriate. A lot of girls like to know about you as well. What you like, your personality, etc.
Above all, just don't act like a jerk. That trait tends to seem unattractive to girls.
=]
My back has been hurting for nearly two weeks. I have many tight knots in my muscles. I often lean over slightly because I crochet for a few hours or draw. But I've been sitting correctly with good posture to avoid any future knots.. but every time I sit.. my back is throbbing. I've received massages from my mom about three times already and I can feel it loosen up.. and I've been sitting correctly for the past week.. so what's wrong? Lately, my bras have been digging into my skin and my mom thinks I need a D cup now. [I'm 16] Is it possible for the lack of support to be hurting my back ? A D cup ? Is there anything else I can do to help my back? I can't go to a doctor or anything like that soon. Hot showers or baths don't work.
Well, I am certainly not a doctor, but I will do my best.
Have you had any previously diagnosed back problems that are possibly reoccuring now?
Is it really back knots, or did you possibly throw out your back? I know someone that threw out his back, and he was in excruciating pain for about two weeks.
I'm thinking, however, that it is due to the size of your breasts. I know many people that had back problems because their breasts were too large. In extreme cases, many women have gotten breast reductions to reduce back problems. I would suggest purchasing bras that will fully support your bust.
Honestly, the best thing to do is take a visit to a doctor. They will know for sure.
=]
ok this is probably the dumbest question you'll ever come across but i can't help wondering and i am sure other women have been wondering too...
so i watched "p.s: i love you" right.... and me and my gals fell head over heals for the dead husband dude and were arguing whether he's just a conjured ideal fantasy or if men like that truly exist. not to sound like a pessimist... all the men in my family are chauvinistic bastards who believe that if their girlfriends or wives or whatever get raped they'll be too disgusted to touch her again... (i know boohoo for me lol) and most of the men i know if not all have cheated in some way or another (even without actually committing the dead) on their lovers.. so thats something i am convinced, or even more so, believe is an unchangeable fact about the nature of men... but hey it doesn't necessarily mean they are bad or that i am a man hater..... anyway i know not all men are like my family men coz my boyfriends are sweet hearts... but the latter is true (about the cheating)....thing is i am not convinced that perfection exist and frankly that guy was perfect in every way... i mean even his flaws make him perfect. so i argued for fantasy...
a friend of mine told me something that i feel too uncomfortable to say again that made me think of the possibilities .... do men like jerry exist???? seriously... what man still loves a women who throws shoes at his face and yells at him every single minute of their presence together?
please give me ammo to slap her back to earth!
I love this question.
I've wondered about it practically my whole life, and I think I have finally come up with a reasonable answer:
Yes, men like Gerry exist, though they are very rare to come by.
However, perfection does not exist. Gerry was not perfect; he may have seemed as though he was, but he was not. No one is perfect, so your friend was right in that aspect.
Honestly, when you find the right guy, you will think even his flaws are perfect for you.
=P
i have a group of imature friends that i have alot of fun with. but there's a problem, their all total pot heads and trouble makers and then i have a group of friends who are still wierd but not like them and they are a better infuence on me. should i get rid of the pot heads even though some of them arent so bad...they're still my friends, is that all that matters?
Simply tell them that you don't smoke pot. Don't just ditch them, they're your friends. I tell my friends that I don't smoke, and they completely respect that. Just be honest.
=)
okayy i really need advice asap. okay so theres this girl who now goes to my school this year & shes a sweetheart and were friends. Were not like super close but i love her to death. So theres this guy at my school that is just gorgeous & i really like him. We hung out and all that & i really connected with him. Well when i came home i found out that the girl that i'm friends with went out with him for about a year off and on. She was upset with me and cried so muchh. Like she told me she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore cause it hurts her too much and she thinks i don't care about her. i talked to her and all that but she decided not to be friends. When one of my friends get mad at me, like everyone does and i'm so scared of that. I know your gonna say well then their not real friends but idk, just bare with me lol. anyways - Well the guy i like says he really likes me & don't even like his ex girlfriend anymore but shes still head over heels for him. I offered to stop talking to him and shes like NOO i don't wanna make your life shitty, please just get to know him & leave me out of it. I really don't know what to do. When i hung out with him the other dayy, i didn't wanna leave. Hes so cute & sweet and ahh i just like him alott. So what do i do? The girl i was friends with said shed get overr it eventually but i don't want the whole world hateing me because of this. For one its not their business and two, i can't stop who i likee even when i didn't know they datedd. i'm so shooken up over this situation. My best friend is also friends with this girl and i'm so afraid she`ll turn on me after she said she really wouldn't. I'm so scared. And i feel so bad that i did this to the girl but i don't know what to do. should i stop talking to him? should i just let her get used to it, or get over it ? Just give me advice on what you would do if you were in my place. thnk you so much.
To be honest, you didn't do anything wrong. You had no idea that the girl dated the guy off and on, and it's wrong of her to be upset with you for something you didn't even do. Also, you're not even going out with him, you just hung out with him. There's a big difference, did you try explaining that to her?
For the time being, I would only remain friends with him. Explain to him that you value her friendship, and you don't want to lose her. Tell him that you really like him, and that you still want to be close friends and maybe something more eventually. I know this will be hard, but I personally value friendship over guys. If you're worried about having all of your friends turn their backs on you, I would just remain friends.
I would also try to talk to her again. Explain the situation to her and tell her that you honestly didn't know about their previous relationship. Tell her that you don't want to lose her and that you are only friends with the guy. Make it very clear that you still want to be close friends with her.
I don't know if you've been in the type of situation that the girl has been in before, but it's incredibly difficult to know that your ex, whom you still love, is interested in other people. Try to be gentle with her, as she still is heartbroken.
I hope everything goes well. Feel free to leave one in my inbox at any time.