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i don't know what to do :[
okayy i really need advice asap. okay so theres this girl who now goes to my school this year & shes a sweetheart and were friends. Were not like super close but i love her to death. So theres this guy at my school that is just gorgeous & i really like him. We hung out and all that & i really connected with him. Well when i came home i found out that the girl that i'm friends with went out with him for about a year off and on. She was upset with me and cried so muchh. Like she told me she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore cause it hurts her too much and she thinks i don't care about her. i talked to her and all that but she decided not to be friends. When one of my friends get mad at me, like everyone does and i'm so scared of that. I know your gonna say well then their not real friends but idk, just bare with me lol. anyways - Well the guy i like says he really likes me & don't even like his ex girlfriend anymore but shes still head over heels for him. I offered to stop talking to him and shes like NOO i don't wanna make your life shitty, please just get to know him & leave me out of it. I really don't know what to do. When i hung out with him the other dayy, i didn't wanna leave. Hes so cute & sweet and ahh i just like him alott. So what do i do? The girl i was friends with said shed get overr it eventually but i don't want the whole world hateing me because of this. For one its not their business and two, i can't stop who i likee even when i didn't know they datedd. i'm so shooken up over this situation. My best friend is also friends with this girl and i'm so afraid she`ll turn on me after she said she really wouldn't. I'm so scared. And i feel so bad that i did this to the girl but i don't know what to do. should i stop talking to him? should i just let her get used to it, or get over it ? Just give me advice on what you would do if you were in my place. thnk you so much.
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Ok, first off of, yes... I am going to tell you that if someone would do that and just stop being your friend over you liking her EX boyfriend, even after you offered not to see him anymore, SHE ISN'T YOUR FRIEND. She says you don't care about her, yet... how much can she really care about you if she dosen't want you happy? You obviously care about her enough to consider her feelings. This really is HER problem at this point, not yours.
There is a reason for saying she isnt really a friend in the first place, its TRUE.
Honestly, if I were you, I would stay with the guy and stop worrying about what she thinks. You gave her a chance to tell you not to do it, and she didn't. So... go for it. Its up to her to deal with it. You deserve to happy and who is she to tell you otherwise? Ya know?
I think you have been MORE THAN considerate in this situation, and I don't think you need to worry. You will find better friends if this one don't come around. Just hang in there. And, in the meantime, make yourself happy. Hang on to this guy! You will be glad you did!
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To be honest, you didn't do anything wrong. You had no idea that the girl dated the guy off and on, and it's wrong of her to be upset with you for something you didn't even do. Also, you're not even going out with him, you just hung out with him. There's a big difference, did you try explaining that to her?
For the time being, I would only remain friends with him. Explain to him that you value her friendship, and you don't want to lose her. Tell him that you really like him, and that you still want to be close friends and maybe something more eventually. I know this will be hard, but I personally value friendship over guys. If you're worried about having all of your friends turn their backs on you, I would just remain friends.
I would also try to talk to her again. Explain the situation to her and tell her that you honestly didn't know about their previous relationship. Tell her that you don't want to lose her and that you are only friends with the guy. Make it very clear that you still want to be close friends with her.
I don't know if you've been in the type of situation that the girl has been in before, but it's incredibly difficult to know that your ex, whom you still love, is interested in other people. Try to be gentle with her, as she still is heartbroken.
I hope everything goes well. Feel free to leave one in my inbox at any time.
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Wow, this is hard, I think your just going to have to go for it, if you're friends go against you, screw them.. their not true friends! Since you're friend gave you permission to go for it, do it!
xox, i couldnt really help much, ive never been in that situation.
if you need more help, inbox me love
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Actually, I wasn't going to say you're not real friends. I do think you are real friends, because this kind of thing happens often...too often. So here's my advice to you: I think that either way, unfortunately, someone is going to get hurt out of this situation. Even though your friend says she's eventually get over it, we both know how that goes. She's still going to hate it that you're with him, I've been there and I still don't like the girl who did that to me. It feels like a betrayel in one way.
However, in another way, she has to understand that you are her friend and you really like this guy. And what she and him had is over, and it's going to be over whether you and this guy are close or not. It's not going to change.
So if I were you, I would talk to your friend and let her know how you feel and that you really like this guy. That you're sorry that everything is over between her and him, but you have to be happy too. And that you're going to continue seeing him, and you hope that she can accept that as your friend.
Good luck! =)
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If I were in your place I would believe you BFF, that she won't turn on you.
Now about the guy, if she were your friend then she would just let you be, to date which ever guy you liked.
But if I were in your shoes,
i wouldn't go out with him, until your friend was way over him.
Sorry I can't help much, this is a tough question.
Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T
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