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A friend... or more?
Ok, please hear me out, and give your honest opinion.
I am a male in high school and am a straight guy. But there is this one kid that I can't get off my mind.
He is a very good looking guy and he's not mean or anything, I just feel like I want to talk to him all the time and be with him. But every time that we talk I feel like I'm the one that keeps starting conversations and he never starts them..
I don't think I 'like' him, I'm not sure.
Like for example, he's a trouble maker but not a bad one, and every time he does something stupid, I'm always the one to look at his gorgeous eyes and smile and his smile is so awesome I can't even describe it. And the way he smiles at me I feel like there's something more.. but I'm not sure. :(
So as I said, I'm not gay, but I just want to bring up this relationship as friends and see where that goes.
How can I get him to talk to me more?
We talk on AIM, Facebook, MySpace, but we end up just running out of things to talk about..
ALSO! How can I get him to talk about his life? Like what can I say to him that will get him talking about himself personally.
Thanks!
-AJ
PS: I'm 15 and he's 14, we're both in the same grade.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I think it sounds like you might be bisexual, being that you want to talk to him, and be with him, and you think he's gorgeous, and all that stuff. I'm not sure if this applies to guys, but let him come to you [; if you talk to him enough, he'll probably give you an occasional "hey! what's up!?" [: and all that jazz. chill with him, don't make it come off like you want anything more than a friendship. be like "hey man! we should hangout sometime" and like if you guys have anything in common you two could do that [: like uuum skateboarding? or something! or whatever you do! just do NOT come off like you're interested in him, because people are jerks sometimes. and they go and tell people stuff [: BE CHILL, MAN. TAKE IT EASY. don't bug him either by constantly IMing him and stuff either, cause then he might just get annoyed : I think this is all I can tell you, dear. because I've never been in this situation. GOOD LUCK!
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I think if you start off with simple subjects like a homework assignment and such, that can lead to things like, "I wish I didn't have to do this project tonight, I'd much rather do----" and BAM! You know a hobby of his!
Maybe you can pick out statements regarding your hobbies, too. Bring up a video game, talk about a football game you saw, anything that you might be able to relate with to him.
Good luck =D
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well just talk about yourself and ask him something like, what about you? Other than that well you got it all covered ya both communicate online and stuff. Just make sure in person you make an impact. Maybe he feels the same way but is afraid to say anything because people may judge on him being gay. just be you if he's interested in being your friend you wont have to put so much effort into it.
-hope i helped =]
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Hey AJ, thanks for posting in my inbox!
Okay, well you said you werent gay, but could you maybe be bisexual? Also, you are at "that age" where you might be "curious"...if you know what I mean. It might just be a phase. If you are bi, there is nothing to be ashamed of. I personally have a (female) bi friend and when she told me, she asked if i was freaked out. I said no, which was honest. She told me how a lot of her friends turned on her when she told them, probably because they were afraid she had a crush on them. BUT ANYWAYS, back to you. There is a possibility you are bi.
Okay, how to talk to him more. If you are in the same classes, ask him about homework, a test, or anything school related. If a conversation doesnt really kick off from that, dont hang around trying out different subjects all at the same time, its a little weird/clingy, if you know what i mean. Next time, ask him what he did over the weekend. Ask him if hes busy and wants to play basketball, or go to the movies with a bunch of friends, or whatever you or he likes to do in your (or his) spare time.
TO get him to talk about himself personally- just ask! dont be shy. You can say anything. Ask him if hes trying out for, well this might be a little late, but basketball or track or whatever other sports your school offers. Ask him if hes trying out for the school play. Ask him what hes doing over the summer. Things like that can spark good conversation.
I dont know if i helped you, but if you need more advice, let me know, or email me xasktiffany@yahoo.com
xxtiffany
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Okay, so around the 12-15 age is the point where you really start deciding whether you'll be gay, straight, bi, etc. So right now, I think you might have a little thing for him, but you never know. I might just be that you wanna hang with him, be friends. I know the feeling. Getting him to talk to you more, hmm, does he have any interests on his Facebook/Myspace such as sports? You could talk to him about those sports. You could even have the same interests in girls. I'm a little unsure about how you can find out more about him, because I'm a girl and whatever, but I'll try my hardest to imagine your situation. Next time he gets in trouble and you're around, you could high five him and say something like, "Niiice man." He'll probably laugh and you guys could start a conversation. You could tell him something funny about a time you got in trouble, and believe me, he'll probably tell a lot about himself getting in trouble, but eventually you might become friends. Again, it's a little tough for me, but just try the things I said and you can drop anything else you need in my inbox. Good luck, I hope you guys become friends!
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You might be striaght and gay,Bi. You might just be figuring it out. Either way your normal.
It sounds to me like you like this guy, but i may be wrong you may just be friends.
Here are some suggestions on what to take about: (these are random but you get to learn about the person)
*Do you like answering questions to kids?
*Can you tell me in a few seconds what is a brick useful for?
*Do you consider yourself a happy person because you’ve met me?
* How can you describe yourself in a sentence?
*What would you like to change about yourself or me?
*Who is your favorite storybook or movie character?
*Who is your hero?
*If, like milk or the newspaper, you could have anything of your choice delivered to your doorstep every morning, what particular item would you want it to be?
*What’s the absolute all-time worst/best movie you’ve ever seen?
*If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
If you want more questions to ask i can always think of more.
Hope I helped some.
If you got any other questions you wanna ask go ahead and ask away.
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hey AJ,
i appreciate the fact that you came to me for advice. And of course i'd hear you out, i treat everyone who asks me a question or wants my opinion as if it's one of my best friends.
Well to start off, do you know if your friend is gay? Because maybe that could help you sort out your feelings a little bit more.
Ok, well since you talk to him online most of the time, that's really good..and i'm prettyy good at starting conversation's...ok let's see you'll always get a decent convo by asking random questions, i know it sounds crazy or impossible, but Oh my dude it works!..lol
ex.
YOU SAY- "While playing paintball has someone ever shot you directly in the face?"
HE SAYS- "YES...that FU**IN SUCKS..but i got em' back..and....."
YOU SAY- "yea well, when my friend shot me in the face..."
i know it's corny..but i really don't know what guys talk about..but you know what i mean right?!
It's ALWAYS good to bring up something that has happened to you, and so..he could relate..or probably bring up something similar!
And once you start to have those random moments with him, the more you find about him, then he can get into personal information about himself.
oh and maybe you're just a little bi-curious and there's nothin wrong with finding your inner self.
If you need ANYMORE advice, feel free to come to me, not matter how long it is!!!
HOPE I HELPED
***HERSHI WISHES HUGS AND KISSES***
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you can really communicate with eachother on aim and myspace. thats where i talk to all of my friends other then school. and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is wrong if you have feelings for him. if you want to talk to him about him, then just ask him stuff about himself. you have to just ask. i have tons of friends when i am shy around them, i just say, hey, whats up, hows life. its really easy to communicate. even if your nervous. just ask them how life is and whats going on with life. thnx for asking me. hope i helped! and i have an advice email if you need anything else.
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okay. im going to help you out the best i can but i honestly have never had any experience with guys liking guys but not in a gay way. so from what i've gotten out of this question you want to be friends with him because he seems like a cool guy. right? if you want to be able to ask the personal questions that will allow him to talk about his personal life then you'll need to gain his trust. when you open up, then he'll open up. now im not saying that you just go up to him and start talking about how you're aunt just got put in the looney bin for running around with knives. (just an example, not saying you have a crazy aunt) but do you know what i mean? you're possibly bi-curious. don't ask dead end questions. ask questions that need an answer other than yes or no. im really not sure how exactly to help you. i don't have much experience in this department.
sorry
modelkate11
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hey,
ok well i think that maybe you guys should hang out out and what not maybe go and play basket ball or something and if you guys are tlkn on the net then you already tlk alot the way it is nad if you want to talk about a certian subject then you bring it up while your tlkn to eachother but if you want a relationship with the guy then im sry to say bud but that means that you are not straight or you could just have a man crush but then again you could just be curious
hope i helped,(if not then ask me again but better explain your self)
xpoetx
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Ok, I have heard you out and am ready to give my honest opinion. =)
What you may be experiencing is something called a, "Guy Crush." You might of heard of a "Girl Crush," which is where a girl feels about the same as you described, except for another girl, but that doesn't mean she's a lesbian. It's a pretty normal thing, actually. And I think you are experiencing the same thing, except with a guy.
One way to find out if it's more than that, is if you think of kissing him or something like that. If not, I would say it's only a guy crush, totally normal and ok, and I wouldn't worry about it.
As far as getting him to talk more, you need to ask him more personal questions. Such as, "Where did you grow up?" "How many siblings do you have?" "What's your family like?" And things like that, and see if you can get some good answers out of him, but be sure not to pressure him to talk about something, if he doesn't want to. You could also try looking up some questions on the internet, I'm sure you can find a bunch more.
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If you are straight, then it sounds to me like a case of hero worship? Something about this guy sure has grabbed your attention, and it seems that you want nothing more in the world to grab his so you can pal around. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's my opinion on it.
I don't really understand what you mean by saying you feel like there is something more when he smiles at you. Are you meaning you are kinda wondering if maybe you like this guy on a completely different level than just a friend? I'm pretty confused on all that, because you say more than once you are straight.
I honestly can't tell you how to make him open up to you and be chit-chatty. All I can tell you is to keep trying to make friendly conversation with him and see if the friendship will grow.
ygs-29/f
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Do the two of you have things in common? If you do, that's a good place to start. Ask him questions about himself. Most people like to talk about themselves, so if there is something that you want to know about him, just ask.
Invite him to do things with you, hang out after school or on the weekend. If you do things together, it'll give you another thing to talk about.
You say you're not gay, but you also say that you feel like there may be something more with this guy. Maybe you could be bisexual? There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, I have a lot of friends who realized that they were bisexual when they were around your age. It's something you're born with, not a choice that you make. That doesn't mean that you can't just be friends with this guy though, if that is the case.
AIM/Myspace is a really good place to start, since it gives you extra time to think about how you're going to reply to a person. Talk about music, movies, hobbies. Everyone has some sort of opinion on these things, they have different likes, he'll have something to say.
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uhmm well.
i don't think that you 'like' him, i just think that you admire him. there is always a possibility that you look up to this guy as a role model, perhaps.
or
there is always a slight chance that your a bisexual, but only you can decide that. i think you might have a slight crush on him because you described his eyes as "gorgeous".
and
for him to open up about his personal life you have to open up about yours first.
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