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In love with a Republican
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months now. Everything is going really well, but I have one concern: he's a Republican and I'm a die-hard liberal. Because I have this knowledge, I avoid any type of politial discussion with him. My friends are convinced that this will lead to our demise, but I don't know. I love him very much, we get along so well, and he makes me very happy, but I sometimes feel like I'm hiding my feelings about certain subjects from him. This is not like me at all; I'm a very opinionated!
I'm wondering if I should end it before we get in too deep because of this, or if I should just stay with him and allow whatever happens to happen.
Thank you all in advance!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First of all, how old are you? Have you had enough experience to know that he won't change, and you will have to accept his views,(not agree, just accept) if you want to spend your life with him? Are you a political major, or do you work in the field? Some people feel politics are a sort of a value system, and if this is true with you, ask yourself if you want to be with someone who doesn't share the same values as you.............good luck...........m
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Openly confront each other about it. I don't think you should end things. You should both find it within yourselves to love and accept the other. I don't believe too much in that whole 'finding the right person to love' kinda thing. MTV might disagree with me, but in our moralistically deprived society, finding it within yourself to love and learning to love is more important.
Talk to each other. Both of you should be willing to make the effort to learn from each other and accept. Why should politics get in the way of love? I don't see why it should. Yes, you should have somewhat of an agreement on some things. Just like there is more than one thing you both like each other for, there shouldn't be just one thing that messes things up.
Don't be afraid to be open. If you feel that you aren't being yourself, then he might not have a chance to get to know and love the real you, but only what you present him. So try not to let it get to you and don't be afraid to talk to him about it. Yeah, avoid confrontations if you can, but it shouldn't break things up. Hope that helped and good luck.
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I think first, you should talk to him about this. See if he has a problem with you being a liberal, while he's a republican. In my opinion, I think if you both really like/love each other, then being a republican or liberal shouldn't matter. So my advice, is that you should break up for that being the only reason.
And remember the saying, "Never discuss politics with friends!"
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ALL couples, no matter how compatible they are, have their differences.
Differences keep relationships interesting. You can learn more things from someone who is slightly different than you are than you would if you dated someone who was exactly like you.
Personally, I think that your boyfriend sounds like a great guy, and that he'd respect your opinions if you do the same for him. But, if anything, you need to feel more secure with expressing your opinions. Communication is one of the driving forces in any relationship. Not being able to communicate with your partner can lead to the relationship's demise more than the different political views can. When you talk to him about politics, share your views with him, but don't make it seem like you want to "convert" him, and let him know that no matter how different your political views may be, you still repect him.
As long as neither of you try to shove one another's beliefs down the other's throat, you should be fine. Respect each other's opinions, and be open to listening to one another. You may have arguements, and as long as you don't let politics define your relationship, you should be okay.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
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Don't end anything. There is no reason why you can't get along. Surely not ALL your friends think along the same lines you do. You can have a successful relationship and not agree on every little thing. Would be pretty boring if you did actually.
I am a Libertarian and I have friends who are not.
I learn things from them all the time. It is fun to
debate things with them. No need for it to be a bad thing at all. :)
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If I were in this situation, I wouldn't let politics obstruct my relationship. Of course, this point of view is coming from an outsider, as I'm not too politically aware.
Just talk to him about it. Come to a compromise - he can't badmouth your beliefs, you can't badmouth his, no matter how much you disagree with them. I think it would be kind of ridiculous if you broke up due to politics.
=P
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Im sorry if this offends you, and Im trying to be nice and honest at the same time: But I think it's stupid that you would even think of ending a relationship with someone you care about, over politics!
I mean I'm a very opinionated person also, and love to argue, but if you're going to let something like that get in the way.. then wow.
Anywayss, just if you feel like arguing with him about something, do it. Just respect his opinions and I'd expect him to respect yours.
Hope I helped! x3jessikah
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best advice, talk to him about it. does he even know you are liberal? have discussions with him. theres no reason to keep your mouth shut. and if he can't handle it, then yes dump him. but liberals and conservatives can have successful relationships.
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I can see the attraction ;-)
I am a hardcore Republican myself. But I am no bible-thumping extreme traditionalist. If my girlfriend was a hardcore liberal, would there be friction? Probably...but not the kind to constitute a break up lol. If you're that opinionated where you feel that you are going to break up with a guy over your political alliance then I strongly urge you to take a deep breath and save your opinions for the polls. Just agree to disagree.
Look at Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver...They're as radical right and left as you can get.
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I would say you should give him a chance. It's possible he's one of those rare Republicans who is tolerant, well-spoken, and rational. I would just casually let my ACLU card fall out of my wallet so he can see and if he has a freak-out, then you'll know. I've met a few nice Republicans. Think of it this way - maybe he's scared to talk to you because he's heard that your're an opinionated, ball-busting, feminist liberal. Maybe he'll be relieved to hear that you have intelligent things to say. Every relationship is made up of two people who may differ on important issues. It's time to find out whether you can make it as a couple despite the differences.
Good luck.
Sabine
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