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i like him, but he won't.
I've recently started dating this great guy. The problem is, he's black and I'm white. I'm against racism to the full extent and so is my mom, but my dad and brother don't feel the same. I know they won't accept this guy and I'm afraid to bring him home. My dad will look down on me and I hate feeling bad for liking such an amazing guy. What am I supposed to do? (18/F)
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Ignore them. You're an adult & can date who you please. If your dad & brother don't like him because of his skin color, then they're stupid. I would just talk to them about it, and let them know that if they can't accept him, then there is seriously something wrong with them. Bring him home anyways, you shouldn't care what your parents or siblings think of him. :]
&hearts'T!NA
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dont give a damn in what your dad might say to you or boyfriend if he cant accept that you like black guys that mean he cant accept you. he need to understand that racism is wrong. he need to get over that you dating a black guy. Just tell him that he need to get to know your boyfriend before he start to judge because the saying say that you cant judge a book by its cover.
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I personally say fuck 'em. If they can't except your choice in who you date, then i wouldnt try to impress them. If you like this guy, then continue dating him, but tell your family its better to tell them than to lie to them. Just before the guy comes over, tell them that he is black so they dont get suprised and be mean to him. Talk to them rationally about the good qualities he has.
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There is no reason in hell you should feel bad. This is your choice and your boyfriend. If he's this amazing than the color of your skin or his shouldn't matter. If your brother & father don't accept him, that's there problem. Be happy that you've found such an amazing guy. Talk to your family and explain to them how awesome this guy truely is. Maybe watch "Guess Who". It will give you an idea of how it feels to be in a color mixed relationship. Hopefully you'll realize how he feels.
In general, if your family doesnt' except them. That's there fault and there missing out on their daughter's happyness and life.
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you are 18 years old. you are allowed to make your own decisions now.
your dad & brother should learn to accept him for him & not the color of his skin.
let them know about him & then ask them to get to know him, and try looking past the fact that he is black.
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don't let it bother you, some people are just stuck in the 1950s (or 1850s, as it may seem). If anything, my advice to you would be to always keep dating minorities until your dad and brother get used to it and aren't jerks about it anymore.
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Just ignore them. It's your life, you can date whoever you want. Not everyone has to like your boyfriend, and if they don't like him for his skin color, than they have problems. Explain to your dad and the color of your skin simply depends on how much pigment is in your skin. Tell him that people from Africa have darker skin because the pigment acts to protect them from the sun, and that people from Norway have pale skin because they have less pigment because they don't get as much sunlight. The fact that your dad would look down on you for dating a black man is disgusting. This is 2006, and just because your black doesn't mean your a "lower class". My mom is black and my dad is white, and I don't feel that people "look down" on my mom at all. Tell your racist dad to shut up, you're an adult now and you can date whoever you want.
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From my personal experience I would tell you that it does not matter when it comes to difference of race . When you grow to love one another it is not even a factor.It just fades away somehow so much that you barely notice obvious differences.As far as for your brother and father you can't live your life for them. You should ask yourself the question as to whether they would base decisions on what you think. It is highly doubtful.Besides if this pans out ,more then likely they will eventually come around. Even if they don't , it is after all your life and you should live it as you see fit.Beware though that there are cetain cultural differences that can become a problem in interacial relationships. I know because I am native american and my husband of 8 years is black.This is not to say that your relationship is doomed because of culture . Honestly I could never be more happy with my husband. It does however let you know that with difference of race there are diffences in outlook that maybe you might not be prepared for .Think it over .If you still feel he is the one for you , and you can get past all of the societal opinions of today then go for it ! I hope it all works out wonderfully.Live for your happiness!
Unity
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There is no easy answer to your dilemma. Love knows no boundary. If he truly is the amazing guy you say he is then you should bring him home and be proud of it. Let your dad and brother stew in their own hatred. I was in the same situation at your age. I now have a bi-racial daughter to show for it.
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You're suppose to love and let love if you know what i mean. Love is something that i would consider special and enough to prevail through any currcumstance and if your father or brother can't see that you really like this guy then that's their decision not to.But in my opinion if he really means that much to you then bring him home and speak your mind because if you don't it might be hard to later when the realationship gets more into it you know?
Hope i helped and good luck!
-KikiJ
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I don't have any experience with this, so I might not be able to help much, but...you're eighteen. You're perfectly capable of making your own decisions. Your dad needs to realize this. If he doesn't like your boyfriend, that's fine--he doesn't have to date him. Do what makes you happy.
-Beulah =)
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