If you want advice from someone who tends to have views that are different from the world that surrounds you , then you have come to the right place.I am truly gifted when it comes to giving advice because, I possess keys elements that are required in order to do so. I take all questions in with careful consideration because, after all this is your world and your life.I will treat your burdens as if they are my own. This seems alittle dramatic I suppose but, look how many tangled webs have followed bad advice.Aside from the mental aspect I worked as a certified counselor for 3 years.
Gender: Female
Location: Virginia
Occupation: Fulltime student/partime bellydancer
Member Since: November 14, 2006
Answers: 13
Last Update: June 24, 2007
Visitors: 2881
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14/m
well i think some of you remember me from when i asked about telling my girl friend how i feel. well we had fun held hand and did the hole shebang. you see i write music for 12 instruments and i would write and play her songs. she loved me and i loved her.
but today i saw her at the mall with my best friend and they were making out and he was touching her in places i won't say. normally i write music or song or poems when stuff like this happens but my mind is a dark shroud of anger and hatred and i can't release it.
please help me i'm losing my mind and worst of all i'm losing the ability to hear music in my head. i'm misrible. please don't judge me as some crazy love sick teen. think of my beautiful mind and how my rage and anguish are tearing me appart.
please all i need is a friend because i lost the only two i've ever had. (link)
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One thing that has always kept me grounded was my love for music and I would never allow anyone to take that from me.(Being the music man that you are )I would imagine you would have wrote a masterpiece in light of this by now but I suppose maybe not.Any girl who would walk away from such a sweet person seems just down right crazy!Although I think you are too young to be in such a heartbroken state I do understand . Young love is a hard thing to conquer!But instead of thinking of this as the end of your world why not use this as a time of great expression!Throw yourself into activities that you really love .Also remember that this is only the begining and I am positive that there will be another love coming along.Rage and Anguish?!Alittle deep but I feel ya! I know it must have really been hurtful to see that she was with your best friend but think of it this way at least you know what both of them are capable of now and you don't want to be around people like that! You will find new and better friends for you have plenty of time.Don't rush so much to grow up . Stay focused in your wolrd and enjoy being a kid ! Like I said this is just the begining!
Good Luck
Unity
P.S. Write a song about this and you just might have a hit!
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okay so iam a 16/f and i have alot of problems. and mostly its because of my bad attitude. like at home whenever i don't get what i want or if my parents tell me to do something i get mad. and i have anger problems as well. and i don't know what to do about that. and also at school im always getting made fun of. and whenever i make friends i always end up losing them i don't know why they just get turned off.. and even when i go out with my parents people from my school and they start screaming my name. and my parents always think that they do that because of my bad attitude or because i did something to them. and im so sick of it. and sometimes i wish i could just die. i fel like i don't belong here. what should i do? (link)
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Well I think that you have already taken the first step to freeing yourself from these feelings.Recognizing that you have a problem with anger is a hurdle you have already conquered and that is a good thing.I don't automatically assume that you have a bad attitude because I know exactly what you are going through.Everyone goes through this period where they are mad at the world and they feel like they just don't belong. Sometimes more then often you also feel like noone understands but from my viewpoint you are looking at this the wrong way. Don't always assume it is you that has the problem. Futhermore it is not always your fault when you are shunned by someone at school or anywhere for that matter. Remember that in your age group many of these people are suffering with there own aches and pains of growing up.They have no concern for your feelings because they are too comsumed with their own.Unfortunately sometimes with parents you can have the same problem but for different reasons. They can't relate because they only think about how they feel now and not how it was when they were in your position. This is partly because when you do get older you realze what is more important and you separate that from harsh feelings moreso as time goes by.I think that you are being way too hard on yourself ! It is tough to deal with kids at school because they can be so judgemental and cruel.Besides what do they really know about you except for the things they have drew up in their own insecurity? Only a true genuine friend really knows who you are. Don't let what mean people say define you or what you will become.And when you get sick of their accusations and mean comments remind yourself of all the good things you try to be. I was a loner when I was in school so I know it is seems almost inevitable to believe things that you hear over and over. It is so much easier to think badly of yourself then to give yourself a little credit for all your good points. But nomatter what anyone says be true to yourself and oneday you will find a close friend who will appreciate you for it.Hang in there and if you want to talk I am here for ya!
Unity
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Ok, i really like this guy at school, but my close friends really hate him (he rejected them), and so i went to my other friends, and they were shocked, and not in a good way. I like the guy alot, and he flirts with me. I havent told my close friends, and i really want to, bacuse i always tell them. What should i do? I really need advice! (link)
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Well obviously if you have friends that are true to you , they will accept anything about you . This includes who you like.Afterall they are not the ones that will be with this guy. It should not concern them who you like. Your happiness should be their only concern.You should tell them if that is what you want. I am sure it would be nice to have someone to share this with.
The fact that they dislike him is besides the point . Who should care if they do ? You can't lead your life for them. If the shoe was on the other foot do you think they would turn someone down they liked for you?Higly doubtful . They would want your acceptance of that person. I'm sure that your friends will understand . If not still it is your life. Do you always approve of their choice of boyfriends? I hope it all works out wonderfully for you !I hope you live for happiness!
Unity
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Ok well this is hard 2 explain. Ok so lately I've been feeling depressed. Idk y I think its because if school and such. Since I started high school its all just catching up. So. I have new friends and stuff and now like I don't know why but I'm always happy in school. Like I can't let my feels show. I'm always acting perky so noone will suspect a thing. Then I notice and ask myself questions like why am I acting this way. I really don't know why. I hope you guys understood me because it was hard to explain. Why do u think I'm acting like this like hiding my feelings in school and then continue to be depressed at hom. any advice is useful thanks! (link)
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This is something I had done continuously when I was growing up.I have always had problems with depression due to the fact that I am bipolar. I am not saying that you are but, I am saying that there are many reasons why you would be like this. First of all , are you truly ever happy? If you are hiding emotions at home and school what time is there to be happy?I think alot of this is because, maybe you are worried what your friends might think about your feelings.In all reality you should be able to openly express yourself around friends that are true. True friends would not judge you for outlooks that you can't help. Your depression at home could be because you can't be yourself at school and in your everyday life.You are too busy flashing fake smiles and aren't content because noone knows the real you!Sometimes our parents don't even know the real us ! Sure they can tell you of embarrassing baby pictures and when your first tooth came but, noone can ever knows what we are thinking unless we tell them.Furthermore I think you are still trying to find yourself right now and that is completely normal.This is a phase everyone goes through pretty much and alot of it has to do with the pressure to be accepted in school.I think maybe you should try talking to a close friend about how you feel . You never know they could be going through the same exact situation considering they are facing the same things you are everyday. I had a friend in school named Beth. She was extremely popular and always had everyone around her . Everyone wanted her to be their friend just because she was so popular . I thought she had the perfect life. Come to find out one day I talked to Beth and she wasn't really a happy girl but, she wanted everyone to think she was .So you see everyone goes through this . Try expressing yourself alittle more. Don't hold yourself back. Anyone who does not accept the real you is not worth having as a friend anyways.You are young and you should be enjoying the time you have right now. Pull yourself out of this slump by any means you can. I know it will be hard but you will find that life is so much better when you can just be you. If you don't want to feel this way.... do something about it. It would not hurt to chat with your parents about this either. They can relate more then you think they can . Afterall it was not that long ago when they were in your shoes.I hope you open yourself to a world of expression . Take it from someone who knows what it is like. I still have to push myself and I am 26 now but, I want true happiness and I know that I have to do alittle work for that to happen.I suspect that you will too. If this continues , please don't try to fight depression by yourself . Tell someone you can trust about it.
Good Luck
I hope everything turns out to be wonderful
Unity
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Sorry I have absolutley no idea what subject to put this under...
I'm 16/f. One of our family friends comes over a lot to our place. He's about 50 and smokes pot and drinks from very early in the morning to when he goes to bed. He's not drunk often because he's used to it. He always looks like he's gonna kiss me and always give me hugs. He grabs my ass and rubs my legs and stuff. I'm not scared of him or what he'll do because I can stand up for myself. Yesterday he was pretty drunk when he came over, I've never seen him like that and when he kept hugging me it felt like he had an erection. He kept showing me dirty stuff on his cell phone infront of my parents who are pretty protective of me and I was so embarrassed. We both have camera phones and he was taking a photo of me and when he took it I saw it slip down a bit so he took a photo of my breasts and saved it. He always makes comments like "that's a nice necklace" or "I like that shirt on you" so he can stare at my breasts. Whenever I say something like about my appearance he grabs me around the waste and whispers that im "f***ing gorgeous". What do you think I should do? I don't want to tell anyone because I think he's harmless and he's a family friend.
Thanks (link)
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OMG this is a loser of the worst kind! I can't believe the nerve of some people! Family friend or not, harmless or not, tell your parents to pitch this guy out on his a**!You had me at 50! That is just sick ! Honestly the man wouldn't have to worry about ever getting another erection if he had ever touch me !His behavior is completely unacceptable and I would make this clear to my family. It is not fair for you to have to be subjected to a feely pervert just because he is a friend of the family. If I was there I would bust his face for you!He has no right to ever touch you (without invitation) or , speak to you in such a manner I don't care who he is . Situations like this burn me up because believe me girl I have been there ! I feel what you are going through!If you don't want to make an anoucement to your family (as strongly as I wish you would, as much as I suggest you do) find someway to not be around when he is present if possible. Make plans to stay somewhere else or maybe go out with friends . Furthermore just to burst his bubble, tell him how he makes you feel! Tell him that you don't want him touching you like this ! To keep his nasty thoughts to himself! Tell him to hug himself !
Get em Girl!
Unity
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i have this big absetion with serial killers. i like to read about them and sometimes i even think about writting to them. is this normal? i am especially fasinated about richard ramirez. however now that i am reading about them i am always jumpy and i like readin the facts about them. (link)
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I don't think is abnormal to any degree . I am a Forensics Science major and I know exactly how you feel . I have expressed interest in serial killers far before I ever became an adult. There is something about discovering the minds of abnormal individuals. It is amazing to disect information and to figure out varibles that might explain such weird behaviors.Since I am on the opposite side of the fence , the one that puts them behind bars, I think you will be just fine.I have a great interest in killers because I live for the day to catch them . To figure the mystery out. It is facinating to study these people and to question there actions . It is also natural to be curious about how they are able to do such things.This is just part of being human. People who don't find things of this nature interesting have weak stomachs usually anyways.
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13/f
Now i know this question may sound silly but i know at my age girls like me dont really truly flirt but how do gilrs at my age flirt in the 8th grade. im starting to get really confused and i hopw people answer. i just need some guidence. please dont think im a dork. thanx to anyone who answers. (link)
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Number 1 you are not a dork . This is something that all girls your age go through. First of all when it comes to flirting ,there is really not a list of rules you need to follow. Sometimes it can just be the way you look at him or, how you pay attention when he speaks.Sweet gestures and precious time is a fine place to start. Let them know you are interested but, in a suttle way.Don't let them think that your interest is from desperation but, inspiration instead.I know it is hard when you are 13 because, every move you make is critical to your reputation. Teenagers can be pretty judgemental about things like this.The key is to be yourself and to be confident in knowing that there is a certain charm about you that guys will love. Live it , walk it, and breathe it! Build yourself up so you will always hold this charisma. Blow a few kisses and throw a couple winks!If they don't accept believe me they probably aren't worth having anyways.A girl who is sure of herself is the perfect flirt ! Furthermore she is cute while she is doing it!
Good Luck
From a fellow Flirt
Unity
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Okay, I'm 16/F.
The guy I like goes to another high school in the area. Just to make this easier, we'll call him "Jack". In order to better explain this story, I'm going to have to add two more people, girls, who we'll call "Jess" and "Sue".
So, I met Jack at the end of 10th grade through friends, and I thought he was annoying and obnoxious, although I was attracted to him physically, and pretty much ignored him. What conversation we did have was short, since he was ignoring me, too. That night he also met Sue, and I could tell he was really into her, another reason that made me annoyed with him, since...well, I grew up with Sue, but she's much shorter than Jack, and she always gets the guy, and it bothered me that even though Jack annoyed me, and even though she's short, she managed to snag him as well.
Months went by and Jack and Sue did end up dating. Jack claimed to be in love with her, but they only went on a few dates before Sue became fed up with him. She gets bored easily, another reason why it angers me when the guys fall all over her, that and the fact that she's so snobby and high maintenance.
Anyway, Jess is another girl I grew up with, and she goes to school with Jack. One day this summer, she gave me Jack's IM out of the blue, and we started talking. I felt like we were really hitting it off. Jess had a party in August, and she didn't invite Jack at first. We were talking on IM the one day and I said I was going to Jess's party, and he immidiately IMed her and next thing I knew, he was invited. The night of the party, he only went because I did, or at least he spent a really long time waiting for me online to tell him I was going.
Jack and I continued to hit it off, and a few weeks later exchanged phone numbers. We tried to go out with friends a few times, but it didn't happen. By the time school started, I still liked Jack, but I wasn't thinking about him too much, until he called me at the end of September and we went out with friends.
Anyway, obviously it's been a few months since then. We started talking less and less after that night, although he seemed to like me and was flirting with me, and all sorts of things. I sat in the front seat of his car with him, he offered me his sweatshirt, and all sorts of things, but we just stopped talking often.
Jess doesn't like Jack, by the way. Or at least, she didn't. She really disliked him...almost hated him, even. I found that odd since he sits with him at lunch, apparantly, and ended up letting him come to her party. In October, Jess started to bring Jack up more and more around me. I was thinking maybe she liked him or knew I liked him. Finally she admitted that she liked him in 9th grade (we're in 11th now).
Jack and I have started talking again since I called him the other night, but I'm still trying to find out what to do. His winter dance is coming up and I really want to go, and Jess says she'll hook me up with someone if she can. She also keeps bringing up Jack wherever we go. I suppose I do as well, but when she does, she seems so...inquisitive, yet happy. I'm trying to figure out if she likes him again or if she just wants to know how I feel or what. Lately they've been getting along better, too.
I also want to know...what should I do about Jack? Should I tell him I like him, despite the fact that I have no clue how he feels, since we just started talking again? Should I tell one of our friends I like him, or even Jess?
Please let me know what you think! (link)
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This seems like a complex situation . For a minute I thought I was on the young and the restless.Intrigued but also confused! I think that you are an extremely analytical person.You notice every detail but, you don't accept them all. As far as the situation with Jack I would say to go for it.Tell him how you feel . It has been long enough and, you seem like it would make you feel alot better to have this off your chest.As for this friend Jess........ don't assume automatically that she likes him but, don't rule it out . It seems like sometimes friends don't have interests in certain people until they find you have a interest.I don't know why this is . It doesn't even matter if it is your best friend you still have to watch out because, sometimes they just end up wanting the same guy you do for no reason other then human nature to overcome the other.Still you will never know what will happen with Jack until he is aware of the circumstances . You never know he could be feeling the very same way.If not at least you tried and you could finally move on from all of the wonder . Believe me if he doesn't ,there are plenty of other fish in the sea and a person as sincere as you will have no problem finding and catching them.
Good Luck
Unity
P.S Isn't so funny that every girl has a friend like Sue?
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About 5 months ago I got into a fight with my long distance bf. I tried to reconcile but gave up after two days of him not returning my calls. He can be very stubborn. In the past when we've fought I've always been the one to mend fences but this time I figured he needs to make the first move. Well the other night I was at work and his best friend came into the store. It's a HUGE store. It's a grocery store but it sells everything else too. I know he and his friend are very close. His best friend was actually looking for me- and when he found me he was being very friendly and asked about the job. My gut tells me my ex put him up to this. Also- I now what you're thinking that maybe his friend is interested in me. Well that's not the case because he was there with his gf. So back to my original question- do you think my ex wants me back? (link)
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I am thinking that this may just be a case of wishful thinking on your part.It is truly obvious that you want this to be a sign that he does want you back but, consider that he himself has not contacted you. His friend could have just felt obliged to say hello to you and question just to see how you are doing.When a man truly wants to be with someone he surrenders to that fact and his pride becomes nothing.He will find a way to get to you but, not through someonelse. Five months later you should figure that he is not exactly dying without you . I know this may all be a little harsh but, it is not meant to be . I simply think that you should go on and find you someone who will bring you happiness that you deeply deserve. Even if he did send his friend to checkup on you , do you actually want a man who can't speak for himself . Don't settle for that !
Best of luck
Unity
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Me and my boyfriend got in a hickey war last night. Is there anyway to make a hickey go away faster ? Someone told me to put ice on it, does that really work ? I'v tried makeup and it didn't cover.
Right now I'm stuck with hoddie and my hair down.. anyone have anything that works ? Thanks alot. (link)
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Of course there is no instant cure for hickeys because what happens is with suction blood has been surfaced through tissues under the skin.However I have found that tooth paste is a good way to get rid of them alot faster then things like ice or spoons from the freezer.It stimulates the skin to heal because of ingestinal menthol.Also if you must use makeup in the meantime, get one of the green consealer sticks and cover it completely before applying regular consealer and fondation over it . This covers I know from personal experience.
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Not sure if what I am experiencing is mental or spiritual.
OK, I am not depressed. I have been treated for that in the past. So I know what depression is like, this is not it. I have a decent job, a great family and no real problems. I am an easygoing person who loves everyone.
Here's my story:
My family and I were waiting at a stoplight when suddenly out of no where I got this powerful urge to cry. I tried to fight it, I had nothing to cry about. As we sat there at the light waiting, an ambulance appeared in the distance. It was in front of us, heading our direction fast. The closer the ambulance got the stronger the uge to cry became. By the time the ambulance had reached us, I could not fight it anymore. I was quietly crying when my boyfriend noticed and became concerned. He asked me what was wrong and all I could say was "I don't know." It wasn't just the urge to cry. I had an overwelming feeling of deep sadness as the ambulance passed. I didn't feel like myself. I felt lost and extremely confused.
I think I may have even blacked out for a few seconds. Everything went blurry and my body felt limp.
Our light turned green after the ambulance passed.
As the distance between us and the ambulance grew the feeling faded. Before 10 minutes had passed I no longer had the urge to cry. I was able to sit up in my chair and see clearly. The emotional heavyness that hit me so fast, was gone just as fast. Afterwords I felt drained, exhausted and emotionally raped.
This does not happen every time an ambulance gets near me. Just sometimes. Never had one quite so strong before. When I am next to someone at the store or workplace, no where in particular. I feel as if I know how they are feeling. The stronger the emotion the more sure I am of the feeling. Sometimes, I think I can tell what an animal is feeling. Not what they are thinking, but how they are feeling emotionally.
Could this be real?
I cannot run everytime an ambulance passes me. Although the thought has crossed my mind. I hate the feeling of being emotionally raped.
Is this a question for the mental health section?
Thanks for letting me ramble. I am open to any advice you have.
Thanks,
Tammy-AKA hnstymtrs
(link)
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I am bipolar so I have many different opinions on emotional circumstances. Honestly most people would tell you that this could be linked to depression.Considering the situation and how it occurs I am not so sure that it is. However some feelings that we have are linked to events that have happened in our lives . A form of classical condition you might say.Do you remember any events that you might have witnessed with ambulances? Or have you or a close member of your family ever been in any kind of incident that may have had great impact on you as a child or an adult? Do you also have dreams that possess the same fear for ambulances? All these are things that you should consider.There is an obvious link to negetive feelings associated with ambulances considering what they are used for . This alone could be the reason for your episodes. Especially if you have conditions such as , high anxiety, General anxiety disorder, Bipolar disorder,Panic disorder , or any somatic disorder for that matter.This is not to say that you do but, disorders such as this are extremely hard to accurately confirm.You may be having these feelings do to circumstances that are unexplainable.Who knows this could become a question of spirituality? You should however consider that in most cases it would not be a situation of psychic or spirtual abilities but a deeper reasoning of emotion. I would say that you should take some notes of these events and speak with a doctor about them. Good luck !
Unity
P.S Get back and let me know what you find!
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ok theres this guy......
hes so nice to me in school & stuff & he always makes me laughs.
but other times when hes with his friends & stuff hes different. he acts like he hates me.
i told him i used to like him but im still hooked on him....
the thing is that hes so sweet when hes not with his friends that thats the side im in love with.
hes a goofball so talking seriously is not gonna work..pleez help
~EAS (link)
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It is obvious that this guy really needs to decide what he wants . It is more obvious that maybe you should look to brighter horizons. When you are young I suppose it it o.k. to dwell on situations like this but, in all reality you shouldn't. Believe me I have been in your situation and I know that it is no fun. Guys play with your emotions when they try to play two different games at the same time. They never realize just how much it hurts. Number one, don't give him the pleasure of knowing how much you like him. That only gives him more leeway to run you in circles. Number two, don't make yourself so readily available.If he is only nice when you are alone what does that say? Is he ashamed of you?If so, he is a loser and you don't need him to start with. I know this it is hard to stay away from someone you really like but unless he starts taking his own initatives to get next to you do away with him.
Unity
P.S Keep lookin hot ! That always gets em!
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I've recently started dating this great guy. The problem is, he's black and I'm white. I'm against racism to the full extent and so is my mom, but my dad and brother don't feel the same. I know they won't accept this guy and I'm afraid to bring him home. My dad will look down on me and I hate feeling bad for liking such an amazing guy. What am I supposed to do? (18/F) (link)
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From my personal experience I would tell you that it does not matter when it comes to difference of race . When you grow to love one another it is not even a factor.It just fades away somehow so much that you barely notice obvious differences.As far as for your brother and father you can't live your life for them. You should ask yourself the question as to whether they would base decisions on what you think. It is highly doubtful.Besides if this pans out ,more then likely they will eventually come around. Even if they don't , it is after all your life and you should live it as you see fit.Beware though that there are cetain cultural differences that can become a problem in interacial relationships. I know because I am native american and my husband of 8 years is black.This is not to say that your relationship is doomed because of culture . Honestly I could never be more happy with my husband. It does however let you know that with difference of race there are diffences in outlook that maybe you might not be prepared for .Think it over .If you still feel he is the one for you , and you can get past all of the societal opinions of today then go for it ! I hope it all works out wonderfully.Live for your happiness!
Unity
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