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he's in love, but she's just using him
This guy that I really like in my senior class has been dating this girl who behind his back makes fun of him. He is so in love with her, he'll buy her a dozen roses for no occasion and bring them to school for her. I also heard he spent hundreds of dollars on a bracelet for her birthday. I know what she's been saying behind his back because she's in my french class. The other girls wanted to see her new bracelet and she just rolled her eyes and said "this is the THIRD one he's bought me"!. She is such a superficial bitch. She's also said she's only with him because his family has money. She's also a bigot, I've heard her making derogatory comments about homosexuals and african americans. I also heard she's cheating on him. I don't know what he sees in her. She is very popular and pretty, but has the personality and kindness of a dead squid. He would be heartbroken if he knew what she said about him and did behind his back. He is such a nice guy, I feel sorry for him. Should I tell him or just keep my mouth shut? Or, before I forget, HIS friends make fun of him behind his back for how hard he's fallen for her.
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theres not much you can do because he wont believe you if you tell him. you have to let him learn the hard way im sorry but i cant think of any other way. hope it helped.
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It depends on what type of friendship you guys have. IF you guys are kind of friends then you should definitely tell him. If you say hi to him in the hallway and when you see him outside of school you should tell him. But if the only time you ever spoke to him is to do a science lab then you don't have any right to get into his personal affairs UNLESS he brings her up while talking to you. Then you should tell him a little teeny bit but make sure he knows that you're not tryna break them up, that ur just looking out for his best interest.
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Okay, first of all you need to attempt to 'forget' about the fact that you like him, just for a minute. Then you need to have a serious talk with him, and tell him the things you've heard his girlfriend and his friends say about him behind his back. Tell him that you think he deserves to know, because you're his friend and you don't want to see him get hurt. If you're thinking of 'snagging' him when and if their relationship ends -- don't. If he cares about this girl the way you think he does, then he's going to need time to get over her (and yes, it may take a very long time). The most important thing is to try and do this in the most impartial way you can. Hope I helped!
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GURL ima tell ya ryte now to go tell on dat bytch
you need to tell him dat she is nuffin but a gold digga
its not ryte how she is treatin him so i think u really need to tell him b4 his feelings get hurt even more....
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It sad when this happens. I'm much older and I see it even in my own generation.
I guess I'd have to say that $$$$ just doesn't ever buy happiness, it can't. I guess this young man is doing what he's seen as an example by the adults in his own life.
I would venture to say, that she will tire of this and will dump him when she realizes she isn't happy. I feel for the young man, but I guess it's his lesson. Sad to say but true.
Surely he can feel that it's a 'one way' exchange and that it's not a real thing. But I'd guess he's seen this before someplace in his family, perhaps not with his parents but perhaps with aunts and uncles?
Do you know any of his male friends personally or know someone who does? Perhaps approaching them or having a friend of yours who might known someone in his camp would work. Some of them must know what's going on.
He's trying to 'buy' a girlfriend and just like in the movies, it's going to backfire, and he'll indeed get hurt, but we all do from time to time. And that's what makes us better and stronger human beings.
Now here's another approach. You said you really like him. Slowly become a friend for friendship sake. Let him know you're there for him and that he can talk openly with you. You'll think of way to edge yourself into his circle. Since he's in your senior class, use that as a way into his reality. Perhaps you need help with some homework from a class he may also have but at a different time...?
Just become a friend who is trustworthy, someone he can confide in and someone who won't judge his choices....because I'd say he's going to need that soon. I always got along better with male friends and female ones.... that's true even now many years later...
Or, now this is the big one.... you could go to this girl and let her know you know what she's doing. That it isn't going unnoticed and that sooner or later he's going to 'wake up' and discover it for himself. She'll be out of the picture if she doesn't fess up now....does she want that?
But I'm an aquarian and I've always boldly marched to my own drummer.... and I have no regrets!
Good luck, sounds like this is worth pursuing if for no other reason than gaining another friend!?
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well shes a total bitch. like regina form mean girls. def. tell him. he needs you right noww. start it off slow dont rbeak teh news to him fast. but also make sure you have evidence before youu tell him. cait ♥
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I basically agree with WiseAl on this one. If this guy does eventually figure out for himself what she's doing and then realises you knew all along and didnt tell him you'll lose his friendship anyway.
Again, definately go with the proof if you can, then lay out the facts for him telling him that whatever he chooses to do about it you'll accept and still want to be there for him. Chances are if he's fallen hard for this chick he'll explain away any evidence you give him and stay with her anyway- love is blind, deaf and bloody stupid at times- and if you want to stay his friend you'll have to accept that without bitching and just wait for the inevitable, then pick up the pieces. At least you won't have appeared to have been yet another person conspiring behind his back.
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if you tell him it might just ruin your relationship with him. how about you try flirting wit him and try getting him to like you so it will slowly faded away his love for his current girlfriend.
*~Stephanie~*
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i totally think that u should tell him if your a good friend you would! explain to him that there is so many girls out there and that shes treating him bad hes just to into her to realize it! i mean if you dont tell him now then hes just gonna find out the hard way and that will break his heart even more!! it sounds like that girl is a bitch mabe you should confront her about it to! i mean beat her a**! lol! but ya you should tell him and stand by him at this time!! good luck!!
xox kayla
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Yes, tell him. Don't tell him in a way that sort of says that you're sorry for him and that you're sugercoating what she's saying. But tell him. Please, at first say,"I'm not trying to get into your business or anything." Start it off like that and say,"but I thought I should tell you," then etc. Let it be that. Don't feel sorry for him and be direct. Don't say it slow. When you do that, then let it be over with. Think of it as business. You're going to him for business that needs to be settled quickly and direct. Don't hide it. Just tell him. If he gets an attitude, just leave. OH, and you might also want to point out the fact that you have no alterior motive by telling him this whatsoever.
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Not saying anything would be playing it safe. I can see why people would advise you to do it that way, it would certainly keep your friendship/relationship (Im not sure how close u two are) intact.
That being said, I dont agree with that line of reasoning. I tend rather towards Thief's answer. If you two were friends I would say it was your duty to say something. If you arent friends you should proceed more carefully.
First off (again like suggested below) can you get some sort of proof? I love the idea of recording her. She cant weasel her way out of that one.
Secondly, have you considered talking to his close friends first. Tell them what you know, get them to help you both to find proof and to approach him afterwards. Clearly they are not happy with the situation so I dont think it would be too hard to persuade them to help. If they are close they can have a lot of influence.
Anyways, to wrap it up, you arent under any obligation to do anything. You should know that by interfering you risk alienating him perhaps forever. All that being said, I wouldnt stay quiet if I were in your shoes. Good luck.
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wow, i would talk to him as quickly as possible. Tell him everything and if he doesn't believe you bring proof, if you don't it will crush him later when he finds out the hard way. happened to me before, good thing i figured it out on my own. you're a good person to show concern, most women whouldn't care
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Yesterday I answered a question so similar to this one that I wonder if you are the same person that I answered before. Whether you are or not, my advice is basically the same as the other columnist's-don't interfere. Your crush's girlfriend sounds like 100% poison-it's terribly sad when beauty and popularity obscure someone's nature. But this "love" that your friend has for this girl is an immature "calf love" which is only really extreme infatuaion. He will find out in time-someone will tell him, perhaps one of his "friends" (it sounds as if he's too nice a guy, and keeps getting taken for a ride-his friends should make him wise to this bitch instead of sneering behind his back: I'd normally expect more of guys). It sounds to me as if you're the only true friend he has,the tradgedy of which is that he doesn't realise it, so caught up is he in his false girlfriend. I would still say wait it out, and let one of the guys tell him, as guys are usually ulinately loyal (they may not as yet realise the extent of her duplicity).
I suppose though that if he does find out from another source, he'll wonder why you didn't tell him sooner, and that is what makes your situation so tough. Tell him if you need.(Or even record her, as the previous columnist suggested). She sounds so bad that your liking him is not an issue-whatever your feelings, noone should believe in a girl like her.
Good luck, and keep us posted.
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Ugh, that girl should be slapped across the face..HARD.
At first when I read this, I was really thinking that you should tell him. But then if I was really in love with a person, then I wouldn`t believe what anyone tells me about the person I love. Get me? What I`m trying to say is that since he`s head over heels for this chick, he probably won`t even believe you. He`ll think you`re making it up. But if you think that he`ll believe you, then tell him. But maybe try to catch her in the act from saying these things. Maybe like record what she says with your cell phone & tell him to listen. Something like that. I hope he breaks up with that dunzo loser chick. Totally not worth it.
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